Are You Calling War?

I'm tired of typing all of these disclaimers. xD Which can only mean I don't own Harry Potter


Mhm, where am I? ...

Bloody hell!

Draco Malfoy bolted straight up. He remembered last night. The falling, landing on Granger, the smell pine trees.

The concussion.

Bloody concussion. Now my head freaking hurts. Bloody Granger, I know this was her fault.

Madame Pomfrey rushed over. "Is your head fine, Mr. Malfoy?"

He nodded, wanting very much to get out and start planning revenge on Granger as soon as possible.

"Okay," the Mediwitch nodded. "You may go to breakfast now." Draco nodded and groggily stood up. He swayed ever slightly, head throbbing, and made for the Great Hall for breakfast.

Thank Merlin it's Saturday, the Slytherin thought as he stumbled into the Hall and sat down next to Blaise and Theo.

"Someone woke up late," Theo remarked, sipping him pumpkin juice. Draco served himself some food and starting picking at it tiredly.

"You up late patrolling with Granger?" Blaise asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. The blonde's head snapped up to glare at his friend.

Theo chuckled. "I'm glad I'm never the recipient of Blaise's dirty remarks."

"Lucky you," Draco growled sarcastically. "Yes, I am, Drake," his friend replied smugly.

"So, Draco," Blaise started nonchalantly, "what's got you so sleep deprived? Off gallivanting with Granger?"

Draco stared daggers at Blaise for that remark. "No, I wasn't, Zabini." The Italian just smirked at Draco's obvious irritation.

"Back on last name terms, I see," Blaise said amusedly, quoting Draco the day the potion wore off. He seemed to love irritating his platinum blonde friend.

"What would you rather me call you?" the blonde spat. "A dirty-minded arse?"

"Yes," Blaise replied so seriously, it made Draco do a double take.

Theo just laughed at his friends' antics. "But seriously, Drake, what's got you so sleepy? You literally looked half dead as you half sleep walked into the Hall."

"Concussion," Draco murmured quietly. Theo nodded, before asking for him, "How?"

"I know!" Blaise exclaimed, attracting the attention of a few other Slytherins sitting beside the trio.

"Nothing to see here, folks," Theo said, waving at them to ignore the crazed Italian. "Just return to your gossips and toast."

Blaise continued in a quieter tone after the people turned back to whatever they were doing before. "It's because Granger's an aggressive shagger, huh? She must've hit you hard!"

The blonde Slytherin started choking violently. "Oh, Blaise," Theo said, shaking his head and hitting Draco on the back.

"You're not denying it," Blaise said in a sing song tone. "That's because I was choking!" Draco exclaimed angrily, voice hoarse from just choking.

"You still haven't denied it!"

Blaise was sure getting quite a few glares from Draco. "Screw you, Zabini."

"No, screw Granger," the Italian said in a mock knowing tone. "We both know you want to," he added. "Oh, no," Theo held his hands up in mock surrender, "You leave me out of this, Blaise!"

"You know it's true, Theo." Blaise poked the dark haired boy incessantly on the shoulder. Theo swatted Blaise's hand away. "It may be true–"

At that, Draco spit his pumpkin juice all over the person across from him, who happened to be Blaise.

"–but I prefer to stay out of this kind of stuff. And you've got a little something on your face, Blaise."

Blaise muttered a few choice words about pumpkin juice and a certain insufferable blonde before grabbing a paper towel and wiping his face as best he could. "Thanks a lot, Drake," he spat sarcastically. Draco smirked for the first time that morning. "You're welcome, Blaise."

"So... what did happen between you and Granger last night?" Theo apparently did not want to let his friend go without an answer. "And don't give me crap because I've known you for seven bloody years, and I know when you're lying."

"I kept on falling down for no apparent reason," Draco stated simply.

Theo raised an eyebrow, waiting for his friend to continue. "And?"

"I got a concussion when I hit the floor. Hard."

Theo gave his friend a suspicious look.

"Well, I have to get some homework done, so I'll see you guys later." That being said, Draco rushed out of the Great Hall and made for his Common Room.

"I say that Draco was feeding us crap," Blaise announced to Theo.

"He was definitely hiding something. We'll get it out of him. After all, we are Slytherins," Theo said, grinning deviously.

~DMHG~

As soon as breakfast ended, Hermione, Ginny, Harry, and Ron walked together into the Gryffindor Common Room. In Hermione's bag was the box of chocolates that George gave her. Thank Merlin the Common Room was relatively empty.

"Hey, 'Mione, just wondering, but what's got you so happy this morning?" Ginny asked.

"Oh, I got back at the ferret last night! He got a nasty concussion," she said proudly. Hermione conveniently left out the bit about him falling all over her.

"Oh, cool! How'd you do it, 'Mione?" Ron asked animatedly.

"George gave me a prototype wand of his. It knocks the user down every time they try to get back up if they're still holding it. Your brother is brilliant, Ron."

"I need to get one of those," Harry said appreciatively.

"So, does that mean prank war?" Ginny asked mischievously. "I suppose so," Hermione shrugged.

"Oh, cool! I want to lock that slimy git in the dun–"

"–No. This is my fight, Gin. I have many, many things planned for that git, though," Hermione smirked a smirk that would put a Slytherin to shame. "No one messes with Hermione Granger."

"You got that right," Ron mumbled under his breath.

"Excuse me?" Hermione said in mock offense before breaking out into a wide grin and giggling quietly.

"Oh, Hermione," Ginny said, shaking her head and laughing alongside the brunette.

"So, you're going to get that ferret for us, right, 'Mione?" Harry inquired.

"Oh, Malfoy won't know what hit him by the time I'm done."

Harry grinned, obviously satisfied. "Don't get yourself hurt, 'Mione."

"I won't, Harry. Oh, I got you guys some chocolates, by the way!" Hermione took the box of George's chocolates from her bag.

Ron's eyes widened at the neatly decorated candies. "Oh cool! Lemme have one!"

Boys, Hermione thought as she handed each one of her friends a candy and got one for her to avoid suspicion.

"Cheers," they said in unison and bit their little treats. Ron and Harry ate it all in one bite, Ginny bit half of hers, and Hermione just pretended to bite it.

And remember how the Common Room was empty? Well, the three that ate the candy were glad it was now. Because what happened to those three would have been perfect blackmail material.

(A/N: I was going to stop here, but I feel sorry for being MIA.)

As soon as Ron, Harry, and Ginny bit into the little innocent-looking chocolates, they began to feel ever so queasy. "Um, 'Mione, are those chocolates still good?" Harry asked nervously. "Of course!" she exclaimed.

And all of a sudden, Ginny burst into laughter. "R-Ron! Yo-you're hai-air!" She was giggling hysterically and pointing at her brother.

Everyone turned to look at Ron.

His hair was changing colours violently, pink, blue, purple, and orange. Every colour you could imagine and it was different almost every other second. He looked kind of like a human disco ball. Hermione stifled a few giggles and Harry promptly burst into raucous laughter.

Ron scowled. "Well, you should look at yourself, Harry!" Ron's scowl melted away and he began laughing at his friend.

Harry conjured a mirror and found himself looking face to face with himself, but with bright purple irises and the same colour of hair, but with hot pink stars. Harry laughed good-naturedly at himself and put the mirror down before he dropped it from all the laughing.

"Now I'm scared to see what I look like," Ginny choked out between fits of laughter.

Hermione handed Ginny the mirror and Ginny nervously peered into it.

"I look like a- a-" the red head was apparently at a loss for words. Of course...

"–You're hair isn't even red anymore, Gin!" an amused Harry choked out between laughs.

"I look like a freaking ferret!" Ginny half-cried, half-laughed.

Indeed she did, minus the little multi coloured flowers painted onto her now blonde hair. The flowers actually seemed to be... moving.

"Ah! You have vampire eyes, Gin!"

If vampires had red eyes, then indeed she did.

"Where did you get those candies, Hermione?" Ron demanded in a mock angry tone. "Well, George said to give them to you guys in exchange for the fake wand,: Hermione said sheepishly.

"Of course," Harry sighed. Shaking his head yet still grinning. "George did this. Who else would we expect?"

Ginny thought about it for a few seconds before shrugging in defeat. "George is one of a kind," she reasoned.

"Do you know when these wear off, 'Mione?" Ron inquired. "Because I don't want anyone to –"

And then the portrait hole opened up to let in the Gryffindors who just finished breakfast.

There was a moment of silence before the whole new group burst into a fir of near violent laughter. Harry had sworn he had seen the telltale flash of Dennis Creevy's camera.

Oh. There goes their dignity.


I'm sorry I took so long! I got distracted by the HPFC and planning my next multi chapter story! As soon as this is over, I will be starting my next one, a James Potter II/OC fic! But his is long from over!

I'll be out of my mind, and you'll be out of ideas pretty soon. So let's please, review this story now if not real soon! :D