A dozen ways to kill one Stella Bonasera

A/N: This one's not as funny as the last ones, it's actually way more serious. But it's only a momentarily sway away from funny road and back to what I'm more used to write.

Still un-beta-ed and I still don't own CSI:NY.

Thanks a lot for your reviews, the alerts and favs!

9. By not answering right away

"You've seen the boss around?"

Surprised Stella looked up from the layout table. Danny was standing in the doorway a file folder in hand. She has to think for a moment, but then shook her head. No, actually she hadn't. But she's been so busy she hadn't even thought about it until now.

"What's the problem?" she asked back at the young man.

"He asked for an analysis but I can't find him anywhere."

Again she tried to remember when she had last seen her partner but only comes up with the evening before. They had said goodnight to each other when she left for home. As most of the times Mac had stayed there longer, finishing off some paperwork but also promising with a smile he would leave soon, too.

"Did you try his cell?" Danny just nodded.

Strange. Mac didn't turn his cell off, ever. Even when he was playing in the bar he got it turned on, just to be sure that they could reach him whenever he was needed. Nobody at the lab would call him when he's off duty if it wasn't serious anyway. Everyone respecting the rare times he allowed himself a private life.

"Maybe he's in an important meeting…" She couldn't really remember him having one, but it was a possibility none the less. "Try again later. If he asked for that analysis he'll call you."

Danny nodded and left to put the folder on his bosses desk just to make sure he'd get it as soon as he got in. Stella watched him for a moment, but then she had to focus back on her own work. Soon she was so engrossed in it that she didn't think of her missing boss any longer.

Hours later she got interrupted again.

"Ya seen Mac anywhere?"

Surprised she looked up again. She had a strange sense of déjà vu but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Hadn't there been somebody else asking her that same question not so long ago?

"He had wanted to call me about the DNA-Analysis from the Hunter-case but I couldn't reach him on his cell."

That was when it dawned on her. Analysis… Danny had asked her that question the same morning because he had wanted to give Mac the analysis he had run for him. But that had been hours ago. Mac should have been here by then, seen the file and called Don. Assuming that this was the same case.

"Let's go see Danny", she said.

Quickly she put the evidence she was currently processing away, so that it couldn't get contaminated. Don didn't understand right way why they should see Danny, when all he wanted was to talk to Mac, but when she didn't answer his question he fell silent. Stella looked worried – never a good look on her. And definitely a reason to get worried himself.

"Danny, have you seen Mac yet?" Stella asked as soon as she found the young man in trace.

He shook his head. After putting the file on Macs desk, he hadn't really looked for him anymore, taking Stella's advice and waiting for Mac to call him if he got any questions.

"What's the matter?"

"Don's looking for Mac, too", she explained, the worry plain in her voice now. "Can you ask around if anyone's seen him, Danny?" He nods, so she turns around to Don. "Let's go."

The young detective could only nod and follow her back out of the room. They were hurrying along the hallway, when he finally got the chance to get some more information out of her. She quickly explained to him that Danny had already been looking for Mac earlier the day. Now he began to understand why she was so worried.

Mac being MIA was not a pleasant thought.

"Where are we going?" he finally asks when he recognized Stella's current heading.

"Checking the parking-lot." Don didn't get it right away and could only look at her questioningly. "If his car is down there that means he made it here somewhere today."

"Or he didn't get out yesterday."

For a second Stella looked at him as if he had grown a second head. "Right", she finally answers. "And that wouldn't be very unlikely for Mac Taylor…"

He could see her getting more nervous every second it took the elevator to send them down to the underground parking lot. Something was bugging her, but he figured it was the wrong time to ask her. First they had to get some confirmation about Macs car. They could worry about the what-ifs later.

Right now they had to find their elusive boss.

Don wasn't sure what would have been the most desired outcome of them checking the parking lot. But after they didn't find Macs car Stella only got more worried, so this definitely wasn't really desired. Again and again she checked the other parking spots, looking if his car was anywhere or if one of the labs SVUs was unaccounted for. Unfortunately they didn't find anything.

"He went home yesterday…", she finally said. "And he didn't come back today."

"That means he's either home or…" Don didn't like the idea that anything could have happened to Mac, but so far it was getting increasingly possible. It was not like him to stay away from work without letting anyone know.

He looked at Stella again, seeing worry and fear etched into her pretty face. If this was one of Macs little pranks he got too far this time. There'd better be a damn good reason for him playing hooky. They have to do something. Something more. Anything to find him.

"Let's check his apartment", he suggests.

For a second she was hesitating, but he waved his car keys at her and suddenly she was all with him, hurrying along the lined up cars. Actually he has a hard time keeping up with her. Considering she was wearing heels he was momentarily more amazed about how women can run in those things than worried about Mac. But he was quickly brought back to reality when they arrived at his car.

Without a word he slid onto the driver's seat, while Stella was already fastening her seatbelt on the passenger side. Pulling out on the parking lot they were soon on their way to his apartment. This wouldn't be his first time there, but it still felt strange to go there, not knowing if everything was alright with his friend.

Meanwhile Stella was calling Adam, asking him to tell Danny where they were heading and ordering him to try and locate Macs cell phone. She knew there was only a slight chance to find him like this. The last time she had called it had gone straight to voicemail. If it was turned off they couldn't locate it.

But they just had to try.

It took them longer than he expected to get to Macs apartment. Traffic was a bitch most of the time in New York, but today it seemed even worse. As if there was something keeping them away from him on purpose. Which made this all more difficult. He could feel the anxiety in Stella. No need to actually look at her for that. The air was practically buzzing with her barely controlled fear.

"He's alright, Stella."

She nodded, not really believing him. Which wasn't that surprising, considering he had a really hard time believing himself. But he just had to believe it. I had to. Mac was okay. And if he wasn't right now, then he certainly was going to be okay after they found him.

The second they finally made it to Macs apartment block Stella jumped out of the car and ran for the entrance hall. Don was right behind her, trying to keep up and again wondering how women managed to run in this kind of shoes. The elevator was somewhere upstairs. Instead of waiting, Stella stormed to the stairwell and again they were running.

Three floors up they entered the hallway again. It took her less than a second to get her orientation back on track. Macs apartment was on the far end of the hallway. Nothing unusual could be seen, nothing out of the ordinary. Don wasn't sure what was frightening him more, the fact that everything seemed to be normal or the mere absence of anything that would tell them about what had happened. If something happened to Mac there should be signs, there should be anything. It's just not right for everything to look normal if one of your friends got hurt.

No, not hurt. Mac was alright. He had already established that. So it was okay for everything to look normal. Because everything was normal. Maybe Mac had slept in. This insomnia deal had to come and bite him in the ass sooner or later. Yeah that probably was it. He just… slept in.

Or something.

Stella was already knocking on the door – hard. "Mac? Mac you in there?!" she shouted on the top of her lungs. But there was no response from the apartment. A neighbor down the hall opened her door to check what was going on, but went inside as soon as Don showed her his badge.

Again Stella tried to call for her partner, but still there was no response. Don was just getting ready to bash the door open, when she started to fumble for something in her pocket. A bit surprised he watched her getting her keys out; hands shaking.

"Here. Let me do it", he whispered, seeing her still shaking hand struggling with the lock.

Don took the keys and gently shoved her aside – not only to get better access to the lock. He didn't want her to see whatever was behind the door before he did. If… if something happened in there, he didn't want her to see it.

Carefully he opened the door and risked a quick look inside. He couldn't see anything out of the ordinary. So he opened it wider. Stella was shuffling behind him, clearly not in the mood to wait any longer. But he had no intention to let her inside before him, so he slowly made his way into the apartment.

There was still nothing that would strike him as odd. Okay, maybe he would have thought it odd that everything was cleaned up, not a speck of dust anywhere. But then, this was Macs apartment and this wasn't the first time he paid his friend a visit.

"Mac?" he shouted again just to make sure they wouldn't find him half-nakedly coming out of the bathroom.

But the man they were looking for was nowhere to be found. They checked the bedroom, bathroom, even the spare bedroom – again, just to make sure. But the apartment was empty. There was no sign of a struggle, no blood, no nothing. It was as if Mac hadn't even been there. And if he had been he had left as he always did.

"Where the hell is he?" Stella asked anguish lacing her voice. Don could hear the desperation that was getting stronger every minute they were looking for him.

"Try his cell again, Stella. Maybe he'll pick up this time."

He took her own phone out of her jacket and put it on speaker before she hit speed dial. Don knew better than to comment on the fact she had Macs cell on speed dial one right now. Those two were close, nothing new there.

They heard the one dial tone before it went right back to voice mail. Damn! They had to find him. This was getting increasingly spooky. Considering Halloween was months away and this was a turning into a really bad joke if it had ever been one… No, Mac liked to play pranks once in a while, but this was not his style. He wouldn't let them worry like this.

This was real.

Stella's cell ringing had them both jumping. Her hands trembled when she pushed the button to take the call.

"Mac?"

"No… no… sorry, Stella. It's… it's Adam."

She signed and shook her head at Don's unspoken question.

"I couldn't get a trace on Macs cell. I'm sorry. It must be turned off or…"

Adam didn't say it but she knew all too well what he meant. It could be broken. Mac could be laying somewhere broken. Where the hell was he? Why didn't he call her? Why didn't he call anyone? Something must have happened because Mac Taylor was not the kind of guy who'd scare his friends with this kind of thing.

No, there was no way she would let Mac down by falling apart. All she knew was that she had to find her friend, her partner.

She just had to.

With some quick words she thanked Adam and then hung up on him. Looking around she tried to see anything that would tell her what might have happened. But everything was just like she remembered from the last time she had been here. The books were still aligned in alphabetical order, the few pictures Mac would care to put up were still in their place, no used dishes in the sink.

That's when her eyes fall on the one item out of place. Not sure if she was seeing right she stepped closer. Slowly her fingers glide along the outlined metal before she finally picks it up. There was definitely something wrong here…

When she looked around she can see other signs – as if they had just appeared out of the blue. Why hadn't she seen those before? There were his dress shoes in the hallway, his coat was there too. None of these would be here if he had left for work this morning – and they wouldn't be here neither if he hadn't been home.

But if he had been here at one time and wasn't now… Where was he?

That's when it dawned on her. In a haste she pulled out her phone again, quickly dialing the lab. It was Adam again, the others obviously busy – hopefully with finding Mac.

"Adam! Check the hospitals for any John Does matching Macs description. And then check last nights police calls for the same", was all she told him before she hung up again.

She signed for Don to follow her, holding out the small item she had found for him to see.

"Mac was here last night and he went out. But not for work."

"How can you be so sure about that, Stella?"

Pointing to the shoe rack with one hand she opened the front door with the other one. When Don looked at the rack it took him a moment to process what was strange about hit. But then it hit him. Macs suite shoes were still there but another pair was missing.

"He went for a run…", he whispered a quiet confirmation of Stella's suspicion.

They hurried back to the elevator which thankfully was waiting for them this time. Asking for his keys Stella ran through the entrance hall, nearly downing an old lady by it. But they didn't had any time to waste, so she just threw an apology over her shoulder and kept on running.

Back at the care Don begrudgingly handed his keys over. He didn't really like somebody else driving his car but it seemed Stella had an idea where they could look for Mac. So he gave them up and they both got into the car to start their search anew.

"Where are we going?" he finally asked when they pulled out into traffic again.

"He usually runs the same route, so I figured we take a look. Just to make sure", she answered.

Her driving style was nothing to put Dons mind at peace and was hard pressed not to tell her that she would kill them if she didn't slow down a bit. But then… he wanted to find Mac just as much as she did, so he let it slip and prayed they would make it wherever they were going in one piece.

"He's been missing the whole day. Do you really think he's still running out there?"

She just looked at him, a frown on her forehead but didn't answer. They both knew that she didn't really expect to find him jogging somewhere. But he understood that she had to make sure he wasn't laying next to the road because nobody had cared to call an ambulance.

They were still driving around the streets about 30 minutes later. Nothing had come up so far. No sign of anything out of the ordinary. On the other hand Don hadn't really expected to find a big red sign that pointed to an injured Mac laying on the streets. Neither had Stella. It was just the uncertainty that was nearly killing them.

That was when Stella's cell rang again. Demanding her phone since she was still driving way too fast and he didn't plan on dying today, Don checked the caller ID. It was the lab again. When he took the call it was Adam.

"I think I found him!"

Thank god!

"Where?!" Don demanded and got Stella's attention right away by it.

"Lennox Hill."

"That's 100 East 77th Street. Lenox Hill", he directed Stella before he put in as a mere afterthought: "Thanks Adam."

Stella hadn't really needed any directions to Lenox Hill so she pushed her foot down on the accelerator and kept speeding along the streets. They finally found him. Even if it was a hospital. At least this would mean he was taken care of. He wasn't laying in the streets somewhere, bleeding out because some scumbag had thought it funny to rob him.

Or something like this.

She didn't really want to imagine all the things that could happen to you in New York City at night. Mostly because she can see those things every day she went into work. Never, ever did she want to see a friend of hers becoming a victim to one of those things. Even less if this friend was Mac Taylor.

They arrived at the parking lot in no time and hurried inside the emergency room entrance. Something inside both of them was still hoping it was nothing serious, but the emergency room was always a good place to start asking around.

"We're looking for Detective Mac Taylor", Stella blurted out as soon as she got to the counter.

The nurse just looked at her in surprise before she started checking her files. "We… don't… I'm sorry but there's nobody by that name. When did he come in?"

Stella cursed under her breath but tried to stay calm.

"We don't know. He probably got in…"

"Sometime last night", Don helped her out. Stella nodded and looked at the woman pleadingly. But still there was no positive answer. "Any John Does? He's… about 5' 9'', brown hair…"

"Blue eyes", Stella interrupted him. "And he's… he's got a scar, right here on the left side of his chest."

For a second Don looked at her wondering how she knew about this kind of stuff, but again this was not the time to ask this kind of questions. So he filed it away for later use – preferably to piss off a healthy, living and breathing Mac Taylor. Because he so didn't want to think of any other possibilities.

"Uhm… wait a second", the nurse replied. "Maggie?" she asked another woman who came around the corner just then. "Do you know if we had any John Does last night?"

The woman thought about it for a second then she nodded. "Right! There was one. Car accident. He's been transferred to ICU two hours ago."

"Shit!" Don and Stella both cursed in unison before they both took off in the direction of the elevators – determined to find out if the man in ICU was really their Mac Taylor.

When they arrived at the ICU nurses station the asking game started anew. But this time they knew what to ask to get a faster result. So about ten minutes after they arrived there a nurse was showing them to a room, where the unnamed patient was laying.

"He's got banged up quite good", the nurse explained meanwhile. "His left leg is fractured, as are two ribs, some abrasions here and there. They're looking worse than they are, so don't be too scared by them."

"Why is he in ICU then?" Don asked the one question Stella didn't dare to even acknowledge.

"He was hit by a drunken driver and hit the windshield head first. There's some swelling and he hasn't woken up till now. The doctor is worried about possible bleeding in the brain."

Neither Don nor Stella knew what to say about that. Mac Taylor and brain damage…?

"It more or less depends on when he will wake up", the nurse explained when she showed them inside the room. "He your colleague?"

Stella could only stare on the man laying so silently in the hospital bed.

"Yeah… that him", Don whispered at the nurse who nodded and left them alone to give them time and process what she had just told them.

It was strange looking at him like this. Don didn't know what to say or do. If he had been alone it would have been easier but with Stella here… He was just as worried about her as he was about Mac. She was trembling lightly but holding up.

Slowly she stepped forward towards her friend. The need to touch him got stronger every second she stared at him. When she finally reached out for him her heart was already pounding hard inside her chest. Carefully she let her fingers slide over his bare forearm.

He didn't react in any way. Not even the heart monitor, giving up his somewhat reassuring beep, changed its rhythm.

"This can't be", she whispered. "This can't be true…"

Sadly it was and her staying there for the next two hours didn't change a thing. Mac didn't wake up, there was no change in his current state at all. She barely registered when a doctor came in to talk to them. So Don went forward and took matters in hand. He spoke to the doctor, listened to all the possibilities they had to expect for the next 24 hours.

She didn't really listen, didn't wanted to know about what could happen, because in her mind there was only one possible outcome. He would wake up and he would be the same man he had been before. Because everything else was simply not possible. This whole situation wasn't possible.

Danger came with the job, she knew that. She knew that every one of them could be dead the next day. There've been others, they have lost friends, dear friends, loved friends. It's their daily job to go out there and every one of them knows that they could not come home that day because somebody shot them.

But this was different.

Because he hadn't been on the job. This had happened when he was supposed to be safe, when he had been off duty. She could deal with him getting hurt on the job – at least that's what she has always been telling herself. Losing him over something as trivial as a car accident was different though. For this she hasn't been ready.

During the next hours their friends turn up one after another but Stella barely registered them being there. At some point she had felt a hand on her shoulder guiding her to sit down a chair that had somehow materialized out of nowhere. She didn't answer, didn't say thank you, she just kept staring at Mac who was still laying motionless in the bed.

"Stella?" A voice finally dared to interrupt her. "Stella! I've got some coffee and sandwiches for you. I want you to eat them."

Stella looked up and straight into Dons worried face. She knows right then he was more worried about her and not Mac. But she couldn't put his mind at ease. She needs Mac to wake up and tell her everything's going to be alright.

Only so Don would leave her be, she nodded and took the cup and the sandwiches. Both tasted like the stuff you get right out of a vending machine – which wasn't all that surprising considering his possibilities.

"I've also got a water bottle for you", he explained. His voice was low as if he didn't wanted to disturb Mac when all they both wanted for him to wake up.

She nodded again, still not answering.

Don stayed for a while longer, but after a while he left like everyone else. She wasn't sure if they had gone home, but she also didn't care. It was late, already dark outside. So it was only normal for them to get home. She should be on her way home right now, too. Only she couldn't. She couldn't leave until she knew he was going to be okay.

"Mac?" she quietly asked, not really hoping for an answer. "Mac, you have to wake up soon." Her voice is hoarse. She's fighting tears because she knows there's not much time left. Don and the others might think she hadn't listened to the doctor telling them that there was a high possibility of him never waking up if he didn't show some signs of consciousness till the next morning.

But he wake up. The beeping of the heart monitor didn't sway from his rhythm for even a second.

She sighed an took his hand into hers. There's no way she was giving up on him though. So she kept on talking, telling him little snippets of nonsense, the latest gossip from the office and when she didn't know anymore what to tell him she started to talk about her last shopping tour with a friend of hers.

Inwardly she had hoped he would wake up at that and tell her he's totally not interested in her favorite shoe colors and where she liked to buy her clothing. But he didn't. He didn't move a muscle, only increasing her worry even more.

It was almost midnight, not too long till morning. Time was running out on them… She knew the nurse on night duty would be here soon to finally send her away, telling her to get some rest and come back again later. So she inched forward one last time.

"Mac…", she whispered again. "I know you're in there. I know I've told you this before, but… You really have to wake up."

Still no reaction. Tears were welling up in her eyes for real now.

"Please, Mac. This is killing me. I need you to wake up."

But Mac didn't move, didn't answer, didn't… do anything.

"Do you want that, Mac? Do you want me to put that on your gravestone? 'Here lies Mac Taylor, the man that killed Stella Bonasera'…"

When he still didn't wake up she leaned forward and lay her head down on his shoulder. She could feel his steady heartbeat through the thin hospital gown. But it wasn't reassuring anymore. Being alive was not enough. She needed him to be awake, to be whole again.

Slowly she drifted off to sleep, the steady and unwavering beeping of the heart monitor her only companion.

Don arrived at the hospital early the next morning. The doctor had said they could tell them more depending on how Mac would fare through the night. There were still two hours left from that timeframe, but he couldn't wait any longer. He had left the night before because he couldn't watch Stella sitting next to his friend. There was simply no way he could have comforted her. So he had taken the easy way out and went away.

He knew it made him a coward, but he had lost too much lately, he couldn't deal with other peoples loss, when he could barely deal with his own hurt.

The sight that greeted him when he went into Macs room would have made him smile any other day. But not today. Stella was sleeping, her head on Macs chest, her hand clutching at his hospital gown. The nurse had already told him, that there hadn't been any change during the night, so he knew what would await him.

He stepped closer, his eyes moving more over Stella's tearstained face than his friend. "Shit, Mac. Do you have any idea what you're doing to Stella?" he whispered barely audible.

A small movement in his peripheral vision had him changing his focus. Did he imagine this just now? He looked again, but the movement was gone.

"Mac?" he asked again, careful not to wake Stella in case it was just his tiredness finally getting to him.

"I… I'm not sure Don", a hoarse voice suddenly answered him laced with confusion but also a little smile. "I had a dream. I dreamed I killed Stella…"

Laughing out loud Don grabbed Stella's shoulder shook it hard. "That's okay Mac! It's okay. She's okay. Stella! Mac's okay…"

----

A/N: About halfway through the story (roughly at the part where Stella and Don are driving over to Mac's) I was still thinking about turning this a fun story, but then… this seemed somehow more interesting to write. Hope you liked it anyway. And I promise this will be the only one this serious. The next one's getting more fun again ;)

Also I've never been to New York and I looked up that hospital on the internet, choosing it because it got an emergency care unit and because it's right in the middle of Manhattan... And the address that was given for Stella once was not far away from it, so…

Reviews welcome as always!
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