Sorry for the massive delay in getting this chapter out D: Turns out I'm not actually dead, who would have guessed. I tried to make it pretty long to make up for it. I've been swamped with college applications and applying for scholarships.
Also it's highly unedited, but at least it exists? Sorry? xD
Stepping out of Genji's old room back into the living room felt almost like walking into another world. Nothing physical had changed about the place; everything was in the exact same disorganized spot that Angela had left it in. But it was shocking how utterly different it felt when she was no longer alone.
It was like she had traveled back in time to five years ago, when she had been the mentally strong one of the two. With that feeling, almost five years of stressed rolled off of her shoulders. Weight that the world had put on her and that she had put on herself disappeared in the blink of an eye. She wasn't fully better (because it would never be that simple), but the relief of knowing for a fact that someone was with her and there for her unconditionally did more for her than five years of strained friendships with other Overwatch agents ever had.
She sat down on the couch, marveling on his affect on her own personality and waiting for Genji to join her. Except a couple minutes passed, and Genji wasn't there. Panic creeped up on the doctor; what happened? He had to be here- she had touched his face herself. Unless she was completely and utterly insane, which was still a very real possibility. She jumped up off of the couch, ready to run back to his old room to check when the cyborg walked into the room, a cup of hot cocoa cradled in his hands.
"Angela? You okay?" Genji questioned, his eyebrow raising in curiosity. Even if he had still been wearing his face mask, she would have known exactly what his face was doing. His voice was still as expressive as it had been when they had first met. She knew every inflection of tone by heart, even now. "Sorry I took so long, you keep the packets in a different spot now, I had to find them again."
"I…" It wasn't often that Angela found herself completely lost for words, but now was certainly one of those times. How could she even begin to explain what was going on inside her head? Was she okay? There was plenty of panic even after she was now sure that Genji was real, and she couldn't help but worry that something might have changed in the past five years that had separated the two irreparably. But at the same time, there was something so unbelievably comforting and familiar about seeing him standing there holding a cup of hot chocolate just because he knew she probably needed it, and it made her heart melt. "I am now." She finally said with a smile as she sat back down, figuring that probably summed it up as well as could be. "Now come on; we have so much to talk about."
Genji, although clearly still worried about her and seemingly not quite satisfied with her answer, simply shrugged and made his way over to the couch, passing off the mug to Angela before sitting down himself. They sat in awkward silence for a few minutes, Genji looking almost everywhere in the room except for at Angela while Angela sipped carefully at the boiling hot drink in her hands. The cyborg had always had a problem with silence, unless it was meditative silence, so it was no surprise that he was the one that eventually broke the awkwardness. "So what do you want to know?"
Angela looked at him over her cup, humming contentedly at she did. "Well, I'd really like to know all about where you ended up going, what it was like, and why you stayed. Did you stay in Nepal?"
"I did end up in Nepal. I wandered for the first few months, not sure exactly what I was looking for but knowing for sure that I hadn't found it. Eventually I heard of an omnic monastery in the mountains of Nepal, and I decided to pay a visit. They ended up growing on me, and one in particular, Tekhartha Zenyatta, encouraged me to stay. So I did, and he ended up teaching me how to cope with the way my body is now as well as my anger towards my brother."
Angela beamed at him. "That's great! So you really liked it there?"
"Of course. It was a beautiful place, surrounded completely by the mountains. It was so serene and easy to concentrate and meditate. I've never felt more at peace then when I was alone with my thoughts. What has happened to Overwatch while I was gone?"
Angela scowled. "At first, we were doing well. I made a lot of headway with a few projects, and we ended the omnic problems without much fanfare or trouble. But then everything went wrong when Jack was appointed as Strike Commander. Even though he tried to not let it show, Gabe really struggled with that decision. It turned some of the friendly bickering between those two into full blown arguments. It started to tear a whole in our family. But then…" Angela choked for a moment, unpleasant memories flooding back in waves, "then Ana died. And even though I felt so guilty and angry, I thought it might just fix their friendship. Gabe realized that he needed to be there for me and Fareeha, so he sucked it up. That worked for about a year until it got terrible. They wouldn't see or talk to each other. Then the fight happened, my headquarters exploded, and now Overwatch is gone, all activity strictly against the law. The UN is shutting us down especially because of Blackwatch, which was doing so many illegal things behind everyone's back for 'the greater good.' I released the records of their crimes to the public, which is why Blackwatch agents have been after me. All in all, we were an organization that had massive goals and glorious aspirations that fell short. We aimed too high and landed on our faces when we didn't reach our destination. The worst part is, I saw it coming from the very beginning, knew that joining was a terrible idea, and I did it anyways."
Angela was keen to change the subject, so that was what she did. "Did you find what you were looking for? Were you happy?"
"I found much more than that. I am a new man now; I am whole. I've accepted who I am and the fact that I cannot change it, and I've learned to live with the person that I am. I've accepted my choices and my past and I have moved beyond them. It's freeing."
Silence settled over the two for a few moments. Genji waited for Angela to respond, but she seemed to be thinking carefully about something. "Then why did you come back?" She peered at him over her near empty cup of cocoa, blue eyes wide and curious. "If you were doing so well there, why come back to Switzerland? People won't be nearly as accepting of you here as I'm sure they were there."
He blinked at the unexpected question. "I may have learned to be at peace with myself in Nepal, but that does not mean I had no regrets. I saw a broadcast of Overwatch's trial and I was reminded of that. You needed me, so I came."
Guilt passed over Angela's face, and she stared at the floor, mumbling "Your happiness is more important than me" quietly.
Genji chuckled and shook his head. "Why do you assume that I would not be just as happy here?" When she remained unconvinced, he continued. "Angela, it is very true my soul is in Nepal. That can't be overstated; it was where I found myself and my peace." He gently pulled the cup out of her hands and set it on the coffee table, taking her hands into his own. "But my heart is here in Switzerland with my friends, with Overwatch, and with you. I was a fool to so easily forget that. You kept my heart beating when nothing else could the day you found me; it only makes sense that it now belongs with you."
Understandably, Angela was stunned at his complete honesty. She felt tears well up in the corners of her eyes, but unlike every time she had cried since the trial, these were tears of joy. Her arms wrapped around Genji's neck, hugging him tightly as she buried her face into the plating on his neck. For the second time in one day, she had no idea what to say to express how she felt; in the end she settled on repeating "Thank you" over and over again.
After a few seconds of initial shock, Genji returned the hug, closing his eyes and resting his chin on Angela's back. God, he had missed this so much that it hurt. He had been blatantly lying when he admitted who held his heart; his friends and Overwatch couldn't claim an ounce. It was completely and utterly Angela's whether she wanted it or not, and he found that he didn't mind either way.
Neither of them kept track of how long they sat there like that. It was a comfortable silence this time, one that Genji had no intentions to break. It was only after he noticed Angela's breathing and heart rate slowing that he disturbed the peace. "Angela? Did you fall asleep on me?"
No response. He grinned, removing himself from the hug to look at the woman leaning on him. Her arms had loosened in their death grip, now only loosely hanging around his neck, and the side of her head was pressed against his shoulder. A dreamy smile adorned her face, blue eyes now closed off to the world.
"What am I going to do with you?" Genji whispered fondly as he stood, scooping the sleeping doctor into his arms. Again, it was a small reminder that some things never changed; Angela would always be sleep deprived, for that was simply her state of being. Trying not to wake her up when she so clearly need rest, Genji padded back into her room as quietly as he could and gently placed her back on the bed.
Unfortunately, it seemed as if he failed. Angela stirred from her sleep, lifting her head to reveal groggy eyes. Genji shot her an apologetic smile before turning around to leave. He was planning on watching the front door all night, as he didn't want any Blackwatch agents to break in during the night. He would never be able to forgive himself if Angela died. He was closing the door when he heard a quiet voice from behind him.
"Please don't leave."
He quickly turned around to find Angela sitting up on her bed, still obviously half asleep. One hand was clutching a blanket to her chest as the other reached out in his direction, as if she was trying to grab ahold of him from across the room. Her face was scrunched up in a confused pout, like she couldn't quite figure out why she was asking his of him, but she also couldn't understand why he was leaving in the first place.
It only took a moment of internal debate before Genji caved and made his way back over towards the bed. If she really needed him to be there for her this badly, he'd happily oblige.
He ended up sitting at the head of Angela's bed as the woman curled back into her blankets, this time with a dreamy smile on her face. It only took her about a second to fall back asleep, convincing evidence that she had only been half awake in the first place. He smiled to himself and stayed there dutifully, warding off nightmares when they came.
And goodness, did they come. It felt like almost every thirty minutes he'd hear a whimper or cry from the girl sleeping next to him. He'd look down at her, only to see her crying quietly or trembling uncontrollably. All he could do without waking her up was run his fingers through her hair and whisper words of comfort in German until she calmed down. He had known Angela for years, and she had never been a person that would have nightmares. It made him feel more than a little guilty, an emotion he had experienced quite a lot over the past couple of days. He had gone to Nepal to find peace for himself, but in doing so had he taken hers away from her?
As he sat there comforting the woman he loved dearly, he determined that he would do everything he could to give her that peace back. It didn't matter if that meant staying with her every night to chase away the nightmares; he'd willingly do it to give her back what he had unrightfully taken.
Angela woke up that morning feeling more rested than she had in the months since the destruction of the Swiss base. She was certainly less tired than she had been in the few days since the trial. It only took the opening of her eyes to realize why. Genji was sitting on the floor next to her bed, watching the door like a guard dog. His back was pressed against the side of her bed and his knees were locked in place in front of his chest. One of his arms was propped on the floor behind him while the other rested across the top of his knees. It looked like a comfortable position, but one that he could easily stand up in.
She was about to say something when he beat her to it. "You were having really bad nightmares," he stated, turning around to face her. It surprised her that his face mask was still off; when she had known him years ago, he always felt more comfortable with it on, even around her. The worry on his face was evident. "Is that something that happens often?"
There was no point in lying to him, really. "I suppose it does. But I slept pretty well last night, all things considered." She sat up and dangled her feet over the edge of the bed next to his head, yawning and stretching as she did so in a cat-like manner. She was sore all over, though that was only natural. It had been a while since she had worn her Valkyrie suit.
Genji allowed her to finish before speaking again, though only barely. That man hated silence more than anyone else she knew. "Do you want to talk about it?"
She smiled shrewdly. "That depends, would you like to be here for a while?"
"I wouldn't mind."
"Well then," she patted the spot on the bed next to her, "get ready for an epic tale of the end of days, my friend."
She took a few long, slow breaths before recounting what happened the night of the explosion to her friend. She hadn't told the full story to anyone else for fear of judgement or even prosecution, but if she couldn't trust Genji, she couldn't trust anyone. "Do you remember years ago, when I was working on this massive project that I said would change the world?"
Genji nodded quickly. "Of course. You refused to tell anyone what it was because it was so important."
A light smile crossed Angela's face. "I remember that, and I'm glad that is what I chose to do, considering what could have happened to me had I mentioned it to anyone. What I was working on was a massive burst of nanobiology that could bring a recently deceased person back to life." She closed her eyes and sighed deeply, waiting for an angry response from the person next to her. All she got was a surprised gasp, much better than expected. She had fully anticipated something much worse. "I know. I was playing god, and I shouldn't have done it. But I did, and it's my labor of love now.
For a while I didn't make much progress, mostly due to a lack of time to work on it. I made a few half-successful attempts on rats a few years in, but nothing more. When…" her voice broke for a moment. This sentence never came easy, no matter how many times she said it, "when Ana passed, I hated myself for not working on it more. If I had completed it and been able to distribute it before her death, that technology could have given her a second chance at life. From that point on, I put every second of time I had into research and work. Within a year I reached the point where I could make recently deceased lab rats take a few extra breaths before dying once again. Within another few months they came back to life and stayed alive; it only worked within the first few minutes after death, but it was enough. They had no negative defects from the operation. They lived normal lives until dying of natural causes.
That was where I was in my research when the explosion happened. I had never tested it on a human before, but the time in which I had to use it on the rats after death had increased significantly. When I heard the news, I feared the worst. After what had happened to Ana, I couldn't let it happen to my other two parents. So I cast aside my better judgement and brought the resurrection device."
She choked at this point, holding back tears. The wound of her loss was still so sore and raw that just thinking about it stung like hell. Genji simply wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her towards his shoulder, letting her rest her head there until she was read to continue.
"I have no idea how long Gabe had been dead when I found him, but he was dead. I held his dead body in my arms and I felt a part of me dying with him. So I used it. I used the device, and his body seemed to hold onto it for a moment. But then it dissolved. He dissolved. In all my testing I had never seen anything like it. The smoke was red and black and so, so thick.
I think I used it on him when he was too far gone. Normally the solution wouldn't attach to a body whenever it was too late to save them. I have a theory that the super soldier solution in his blood latched onto the resurrection formula and tried to revive him, but it ended up tearing him apart.
And now the nightmares won't stop. They were bad since Ana died, but now I see all three of them. I see Ana dying because I was too depressed by who…" she paused for a second before realizing the sentence was already too far gone for her to take it back, "I was too depressed by who I had already lost to work on what I needed too. I see Jack, dying alone in the rubble while I cried over Gabe's dead body. He might have been able to be found and saved. I don't know, since I stopped looking. And I see the last thing I had of my parents dissolving in my arms because I failed him. I failed all three of them, and it haunts me."
Genji digested the information that she had given to him for a minute before saying anything. Angela hardly blamed him; it was a lot to take in. Finally he let out a long sigh before tugging on her shoulder and pulling her into a hug.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there." He mumbled, voice raw with regret. "I should have been there for you, and I deeply regret that. But I'm going to help you through this now, okay? I can't sit here and lie to you, tell you that you didn't make some mistakes. However, I think you'll find that we can recognize our mistakes and be at peace with them; that's what I've had to learn how to do. But even then, you are more than a few mistakes, and no one that cares about you expects you to be perfect. I'm sure Ana, Gabe, and Jack would hate seeing you like this. They don't want this for you, no one does. So don't beat yourself up too much over it, okay?"
"I know they don't want this for me. But knowing something and believing something are two terribly different things." She buried her face in the plating on Genji's neck, concentrating on slowing down her breathing and heartrate. This, being full of anxiety and worry, was not a healthy way to live, but she didn't know how to fix it. Maybe time would heal her, but who really knew?
When she seemed to have calmed down considerably, the two pulled out of the hug. Genji ruffled her already very messy hair and stood up from the bed. "Now, this might sound weird, but I actually learned how to cook well in Nepal. How about I make you something?"
Angela smiled lightly. "I could really use some food right now. Let's go."
Genji had easily fallen into a routine with Angela after returning to Switzerland. The first few weeks were slightly awkward, both of them trying to figure out just how open the other was to companionship. But once they both came to the conclusion that while everything around them had changed, their relationship with each other had not, they quickly fell into normal patterns once again.
The main difference now from when they had known each other at first was that Genji had insisted he find his own place to live in instead of rooming with Angela. Not only had he developed a new, healthy respect for other people's boundaries, he also had full knowledge of exactly how he felt about the blonde doctor. He thought it best not to be roommates with the woman he cared for so dearly.
That wasn't to say that they didn't spend a lot of time together, because they certainly did. Genji was hesitant to leave Angela at almost any time, simply because of how vulnerable she was at the moment. After he found out that she took time off from medical field work to do her own independent research, which meant she was at her house almost all the time, he found an excuse to be at her home almost constantly.
It wasn't often that Angela asked for privacy, mostly because she enjoyed the company, but a few times she did. About a month after he returned was the first time she actually demanded it.
"Genji, I need to run some tests on myself this evening. Just some simple health stuff, nothing too big. But I need you to leave, okay?" She didn't seem particularly upset with him. On the contrary, she was smiling quite pleasantly.
"Alright. Are you sure you'll be okay?"
The doctor laughed sweetly. "I can handle myself for a while, yes. Why don't you come check up on me in a few hours? Then you won't have to worry."
He smiled back at her. "I can certainly do that. See you in a bit."
She waved and walked him out the door, closing it with a soft click behind him. As soon as that door closed, something in the pit of his stomach murmured unpleasantly. He had been away from Angela plenty, sure, but there had always been the option to go back. All he had to do was knock and he'd be right back inside of her home most of the time. But now he didn't have that option, and he wasn't sure that he liked it.
The few hours he promised the doctor crawled by at a disgustingly slow pace, and the unpleasant feeling he had grew as time went by. When the time was finally up, he had to restrain himself from breaking down the door. Something was wrong; something deep down inside of him was screaming at him that something was very, very wrong.
It didn't take him long to find Angela, though she wasn't in the state he had expected her to be in. He turned the corner into the kitchen to find her sitting in the middle of the room, laughing hysterically with her head held in her hands. The action was so unlike Angela that he had to look twice to confirm that it was actually her. But then he noticed the large, empty glass bottle next to her, and things suddenly made a little bit more sense, even if that raised more questions in his head. Since when did Angela drink, and where had she even gotten that bottle? He had been in the kitchen a million times and not seen a drop of alcohol in it.
"Angela?" He questioned carefully, kneeling next to the woman and placing his hand on her shoulder. "Is everything okay?
She looked up at him, eyes bloodshot and tired, and just giggled uncontrollably. "No, not really," She took a pause from speaking to take a few gasping breaths, "but when is it ever?"
Genji glance warily at the bottle of alcohol. "I thought you hated drinking."
"Oh, I do." Angela said as soberly as she could manage, nodding her head in an exaggerated manner. "But guess what? It doesn't matter, Genji. None of it fucking matters anymore."
It was particularly unlike Angela to curse like that. The poor cyborg was utterly bewildered by the creature that he was convinced had possessed Angela Ziegler. "What are you talking about?"
She grabbed the sides of his faceplate, pressing her forehead against his, still giggling slightly as she spoke. "Genji, I ran tests on my body, just to see what symptoms my recent depression might have on me. Plus I haven't been in for a check-up in years, so it was about time. But guess what I found? Genji, have you noticed that I look the exact same as I did the day you left? Do you want to know why? It's because I've stopped aging. The exposure from my Valkyrie suit to constant healing nanobiology has completely replaced my normal cells with nanobiotic ones that won't die from disease or age. I'll never die. So why not drink? It'll wear off in only a few minutes; it's been happening all night. I already feel it wearing off now. Give me fifteen minutes and I'll be completely sober, I guarantee it."
Genji blinked in shock at the doctor. "I, uh, that's a lot to take in. You're going to have to give me a minute to process this," he stated dumbly, not sure what to say, "but I'm still not sure why you're drinking, is it just to prove a point?"
"Because I'm a happy drunk. And I've already cried enough tonight." Angela leaned back against the cabinet she had been sitting next to and stared at the ceiling, eyes dull with pain. The alcohol was definitely wearing off- she was right. "Don't you get it, Genji? Don't you understand what living forever means? Living forever means that in all likelihood I'll have to bury everyone I hold dear to me. Have you ever heard someone say that one of the worst things a person can experience is burying their own child? That's one thing that I can't do now, having or adopting kids, because I would live to see them die, and how could I inflict that kind of pain on myself? I'll live to see everyone die; Reinhardt, Torbjorn, Fareeha, Lena, Winston, all of them." Angela looked back at Genji with the saddest smile, tears finally flowing from the corners of her eyes. "You." She buried her eyes in the sleeves of her hoodie, no longer holding back her grief. "I'm going to be alone. Unless I die some terrible, gruesome death, I'll be alone in about seventy years. You'll all be gone, and I'll still be here looking like I'm twenty-five. And how do I hide it from the UN? People can only accredit so much to good genes, and I can't let a secret like this out; people will want to know how I did it, and what if that knowledge falls into the wrong hands? What do I do?"
Angela looked up at her cyborg companion from where her head was buried. She knew the look on her face clearly displayed her vulnerability and desperation, but she didn't care. More than anything she needed someone to help her figure this out, to tell her that maybe not everything would be as bad as she thought it would be.
The second she looked at Genji, he wrapped her in a tight hug. She honestly shouldn't have been so surprised at this point – it was his default reaction to her whenever she was upset about something. But she was so used to distancing herself from others over the past five years that it shocked her all the same. It also comforted her more than it should have. She gladly hugged him tightly back and didn't complain when he held her almost bone-crushingly tight. She wouldn't have been surprised if he never let go.
"Angela," Genji started carefully, as if he were afraid of her reaction, "is there any way that I wouldn't have to leave you?"
"What do you mean by that?"
"I mean, is there a way to do whatever is happening to you to me? That way you won't have to lose me."
"Surely you don't actually want that?" Angela paled at the thought of doing this to Genji; how could she possibly put him through the same thing that she was now destined to live through?
Genji chuckled lightly and tightened his grip on her ever so slightly. "Isn't that for me to decide, Dr. Ziegler? Only I can say what I do and do not want. All I asked was if it was possible."
"I… I don't know," she responded honestly. She really didn't know whether it could be done. The whole reason she was this way was because all of her normal cells were now nanobiotic ones, but Genji was half robot. Would it work the same way?
"That's alright," Genji replied sweetly, now carding his fingers through Angela's hair to try to soothe the doctor. "But if – when – you figure it out, know that this is what I want. You gave me a second chance at life, Angela, and I've hardly forgotten that. After everything you have been through on my account, this is the least I could do for you. And I mean it when I say that it's the very least."
Angela let out a small sigh and buried her face into the plating on Genji's neck. "Thank you," she finally mumbled, closing her eyes in an attempt to focus her thoughts. Her head was slowly clearing of the buzz of alcohol, and even though she was starting to recover, she still had a massive hangover to get over. That would probably take an hour or so. Thus, she tried to focus her thoughts on anything that would take her mind off of the pain. As a field doctor she had taught plenty of techniques for forgetting about pain to others; it was a simple matter to apply them to herself.
The easiest way to ignore pain was to concentrate on another, stronger physical sensation. With that in mind, she pressed further into Genji's metal body and focused on how cold it was. It was made out of an alloy that was purposefully a poor conductor of temperature so it wouldn't be affected too heavily by where he was. But metal was still metal, and she had always been fond of keeping her house cold, so his body had absorbed the chill in the air. She shivered as her own body heat slowly drained until she had accidentally warmed him up, thus losing her distraction.
After physical distraction no longer worked, she always told her patients to focus on some sort of mental distraction. It helped if the thoughts were soothing, peaceful ones. Especially in regards to a headache, which was what was currently pounding through her skull. It only took a moment for Angela, now growing drowsy from the crying and emotional stress, to latch onto happy thoughts. After all, they hadn't happened all too long ago. She smiled softly as ghosts of moments from the past month floated around in her head. Outings to favorite restaurants, late nights binges of crappy old movies and so, so much hot chocolate, all with her cyborg companion. If she had been in the state to consider things on any deep sort of level, she probably would have realized how spoiled she had been recently, and she probably would have wondered how much guilt Genji held for leaving her and how much of it was manifesting in his spending time with her. She also probably would have noticed how Genji didn't seem to mind that she had latched onto him and not said a word in fifteen minutes.
But, of course, Angela didn't have time to think about any of that. She was unbelievably drowsy, irrationally comfortable, and warm with happy thoughts that drowned out her own worries for the time being. Not only that, but the nanobiotic chemicals had already worked their magic in her head; her headache was nearly completely gone, and had she been awake she would likely have been completely sober. However, she was as far from awake as it comes without actually being asleep. She muttered another simple "Thank you" to her friend before falling asleep on him, her breathing turning heavier and steadier.
As soon as he was sure that Angela was asleep, Genji scooped her up, careful not to move her much, and made his way to her bedroom, where he set the sleeping woman down. He made sure she was properly bundled up in blankets before making his way out of the room, catching one last glance at Angela before he left.
At surface level, she seemed so peaceful. Her smile was small and quiet but very much there; it pulled her whole face into an expression of relaxation. But he couldn't help but scowl as he noticed the bags under her eyes; while they weren't dark or prominent, they were certainly still there. If he looked even more closely, he could see the tear stains on her cheeks from the time she had spent crying.
He sighed as he exited the room and closed the door softly behind himself. Angela didn't deserve this. She deserved to live a life of happiness after everything that she had done for others; the last thing she needed was to have things like this happen to her. It simply wasn't fair, and the unfairness of it all made his blood boil. The longer he thought about it, the angrier he became until he was practically snarling at his own thoughts. What made him finally stop was when he felt energy course through him, threatening to break like a dam under pressure. That was a power that he had left dormant within himself for a long, long time, and there would only be trouble if he provoked it now. He pouted as he calmed down, flopping ungracefully onto the couch. The least he could do was stay up all night in case Angela needed anything.
So there he stayed, guarding the door to Angela's bedroom like a watchdog until morning dawned upon them.
