Hello! Sorry this took so long; I was sick for the last two weeks and have finally just started to get over it. Yay! Thank you for being so patient. Please review if you like it! Sorry for the shortness and the distance between them. (again) I love reviews, they are always greatly appreciated! Thank you all for reading! You're all amazing 3 *disclaimer* I own nothing but the storyline.

After walking Cas home, Dean left for his own home. The air was cool and the sky was black but Dean didn't care one bit. For once in his life he wasn't worried about pretending to be someone he wasn't. Sure he still wasn't going to tell his dad but he could be himself around Cas, that's what mattered. He was able to be carefree with Cas! He didn't have to worry about hiding himself and being afraid of judgement. Cas accepted him for who he was and Dean was beyond lucky to have him. He didn't know how he had struck gold like this!

He kicked piles of snow as he walked home. Enjoying being out in the cold, being alone with his thoughts but never alone. He glanced down at his phone happily and saw the text from Cas that he was home safe. Just like they always did if Dean didn't walk him right to his door. Dean would text him back when he got home. Cas would want to know when he was safe too.

Pulling his coat tighter around him, Dean spurred himself faster down the path. The cold suddenly seemed dark and not as inviting. What he really wanted was a nice warm cup of coffee (or hot chocolate, maybe his mom had gone shopping. If Dad had let her out of the fucking house today.) and to curl up in a blanket while staying up late texting Cas. Winter break was fast approaching and Dean couldn't wait to spend all his time with the boy. He was already thinking of all the amazing things they could do together.

Just two more weeks and they would be free to hang out as much as they wanted. More day trips, warm motel rooms, movies and staying up all night watching more movies. The last time had gone so well and Dean had so many more movies to show the boy. Cas was seriously missing out on the classics and that just wasn't acceptable! Not when he was dating Dean Winchester!

When he arrived at his house the lights were all still on. He raised an eyebrow in confusion; his parents had known that he was going to the party. Dean had told them to go to bed because he wouldn't be home until late. He supposed they hadn't listened, that wasn't a big deal Dean hadn't done anything wrong. Walking up the front porch he put his key in the lock and opened the door. As soon as he entered in, the whole house exploded around him.

"DEAN WINCHESTER! HOW DARE YOU GO BEHIND MY BACK AND EVEN CONSIDER DOING SOMETHING LIKE THIS! YOU'RE MY SON REMEMBER?!" He heard his dad scream, coming right up to him and slamming him against the wall. WHAT THE HELL?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU BOY?!"

Dean felt his body slam hard against the wood panels and grunted. He was used to his dad getting angry like this, especially when he was drunk. This was different though... Dean couldn't smell any alcohol on his dad's breath and there was a fury in his eyes Dean had never seen in all his years of living with this man. Staring into those eyes he whispered "What did I do?"

John fumed and pressed Dean harder against the wall, Dean knew by the end of this he would have bruises all along his back and shoulders. Nothing new but fresh ones always hurt the most. "I hear you've been going around like a little slut and kissing whatever you can find!"

"Wh-... What are you talking about?" Dean stuttered, he glanced behind his dad and saw Sam cowering in the corner. He felt anger seep throughout his body, an uncontrollable hot rage. Dean knew then. He knew exactly what his brother had done. "Oh... That."

"YES THAT!" John bellowed in his face "YOU'RE DATING A BOY?! NO SON OF MY WILL BE A FAG!" He pushed Dean a little harder and then backed off. He pointed an accusing finger in Dean's face "What did I do wrong Dean? What did I do to make you go like this?"

"NOTHING!" Dean cried out, anger still coursing through him. It gave him a confidence he never had when it came to dealing with his father. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with me Dad! I still like girls, but there is something different about him. I love him!"

"YOU WHAT?!" John yelled taking the front of Dean's coat and shaking him "I DARE YOU TO SAY THAT AGAIN YOUNG MAN!"

Staring defiantly at his dad Dean said in a dangerously low voice "I love Castiel Novak."

John shoved Dean away, putting his hands over his ears angrily "Don't say that fag's name in my house! I FORBID YOU!"

Dean smirked, feeling daring and said "I love Castiel Novak. I love a boy Dad! Castiel Novak is the one I choose and there is nothing you can do to change how I feel."

"We'll see about that!" John threatened, "From here on out, I don't want you talking to this boy. I don't want you to even look at him. If you do, well there will be bigger hell to pay Dean. Mark my words, if I hear of you even taking a peek at him..." John let the threat hang in the air but Dean got the picture.

He couldn't talk to Cas, not ever. Sam would be John's personal spy, whether he wanted to or not. It wasn't a matter of preference. Sam had absolutely no choice but to obey their father. Dean couldn't blame him really, he probably had seen Dean with Cas and freaked. Though Dean had seen Sam with Gabriel. They had looked a little cozy at the party. It would be so easy for Dean to point it out... But he wouldn't, he wouldn't let Sam get hurt or in trouble, there was nothing he could ever do to hurt his little brother.

Trying not to punch his dad in the face, he glared at him and then stomped away to his bedroom. He slammed the door, just for good measures. Collapsing onto his bed he stared up at the ceiling. Cas would be heartbroken, confused. He would never know what had happened. Dean would look like a dick and there was nothing he could do to fix it.

Glaring angrily at the ceiling, forcing the tears that started to well up away; Dean tried not to imagine the confusion on Cas's face tomorrow. The hurt he would see when Dean brushed past him as if he meant nothing. Right after saying he loved him, Dean had to pretend to hate him.

He felt his gut twist at the thought. He was going to be sick.

Turning over Dean closed his eyes, ready to sleep. To sleep forever and not have to face the Hell he would have to tomorrow. He'd just lost the best thing he'd ever had in his life. Not for the first time, Dean wished he had the guts to run away. To find a place outside the state. Get as far away from his fucked up family as he could. He wanted to be free of the control his father had over him.

The only reason he didn't leave was because of Sam. If he left, Sam would become the punching bag. Thinking of that happening only made Dean's inside squirm more. There was no win in his situation. He was doomed. To anger and hurt those he loved for the rest of his life. All because he didn't have the guts to stand up to an asshole of a father.

He didn't deserve Cas; Cas would never let this happen. He would fight! No matter what the cost. He was so strong; Dean always knew he could go to the boy. He would help him through any troubles he had. Always.

Or... It used to be that way.

Giving into the salty tears, Dean turned on his side and forced himself to sleep. There was nothing more there could do.


The next day at school Dean walked in and forced himself to ignore Cas's call of hello. He forced himself not to look back at that beautiful face and run to him. Sam was walking close behind him and Dean knew that on his face he would find apology and sadness. Dean hadn't said a word to him since this had all happened. He wasn't going to for a good long while either; Dean was going to let Sam think about the hell he had created for his brother. That would show him...

Even if he understood his brother's actions, he certainly wasn't impressed with them. Sam was going to wish he'd kept his mouth shut.

In class Dean did his best to focus on the front board, all around him there were whispers. Not whispers about him or Cas but of exciting things that had happened to them. He couldn't share any of his, he couldn't tell his friends any of his stories from the party the other night. The beautiful moments, the bliss he'd felt with Cas. no matter how brief the time had been... He knew that people would either distance themselves from him or laugh at him. Usually he wouldn't give a damn what they thought but there was now his dad in the picture. He had to think of that, of the pain he would receive. Of who else might suffer because of his careless needy actions. Even him simply mentioning his feelings towards the other boy could send his world into a spiral of pain. Dean felt selfish for thinking of his own well being when Cas was probably suffering right now. What else could he do though? Dean knew he could take whatever his dad threw at him, but what if he started to attack Sam? No, he had to do what he was told.

At the end of the day he trudged to the bus stop and did his best not to look in Castiel's direction. If he did he would see Gabriel and Balthazar, who also hadn't spoken to him all day. He hadn't just lost his boyfriend... Dean had lost his two best friends as well.

He cursed his father, his asshole of a parental figure. What had he done to deserve such a man? Who'd he pissed off about there? Or in a past life, if that crap even existed.

Either way, now he had no close friends except one. No boyfriend, no one to spend time with. He still had Benny, though they hardly hung out anymore. No classes in common and the amount of homework they both had. It made it almost impossible. Dean felt a little bad for not putting in more effort, he knew he should. It wasn't all on Benny after all. Dean had to put in a little too. He'd just been so hung up on Cas, nothing else seemed to matter. Now he realized how wrong he was. He'd isolated himself and of course Benny would invite him back in if he asked. Dean just had the problem of being to pruoud to ask. Now he was alone and miserable.

Just like Cas. Just like you deserve to be... His mind whispered cruelly. Dean pushed them away, he knew what he deserved and he was getting it. He didn't need his brain to remind him.

Goodbye Castiel...