Hello, readers! I have just returned from a trip to GREECE, in which I sang, danced, and sweated out a Mediterranean heat wave! It was a whopping 115 degrees Fahrenheit EVERY DAY, and half the time we didn't have AC! Fun, fun, fun! But I'm back now, and ready to write!
This is…mainly just me having fun with Billy. I didn't think I was going to like him enough to write so many vignettes with him, but that boy's grown on me. I'll get back to the serious plot next time, I promise!
Buzzword of the day: Hardcore! I might do buzzwords again, this was fun...
It is Considered Hardcore
"They should be here by now," Robin seethed.
He was pacing up and down the common room. Raven was watching him intently. A pacing, seething Robin was a rather hardcore experience.
"I'm sure they had trouble at the station," She said for the fiftieth time.
"I don't care. I want to get this guy in and out, fast," Robin stopped. "What's Jinx doing?"
"Argent is going to take her out," Raven rolled her eyes. "Shopping or something."
"Good," Robin began pacing again. "I don't really want her to be around for this."
Raven nodded. "They should be leaving any minute."
"So, why is he coming here?" Aqualad called from the kitchen. He was cleaning up from breakfast. One thing the originating Teen Titans could all admit they loved about sharing a tower with over twenty people was that the chores rarely fell back to them.
"Cyborg said it was a complicated circumstance that needed hands-on involvement on our part," Raven explained.
"That's ridiculous. That's not even an explanation," Aqualad crossed his arms over his chest.
"Well, apparently it's going to get explained when they get here."
"And that would be?"
"Now," Robin said, looking out the window. "He just drove up." He turned to the other two. "Hey, where's Bee?"
"The gym," Aqualad said. "Why?"
"Cyborg said it would be a good idea if Karen and Billy didn't see each other," Robin said, taking a seat next to Raven on the couch. "And I agree."
"Can we just make a list of the people who can see Billy?" Raven despaired. Aqualad shook his head, and joined them at the couch.
"I've always heard shit from Karen about him," He said to Robin. "Is he really bipolar?"
"Cyborg told me he's just an asshole," Raven said darkly.
"Well, obviously," Aqualad said. "But I heard from Bee that he's one of the worst HIVE students. One of the most violent. Not stable at all."
"Well, we'll just have to see," Robin said shortly. "They'll be here in a minute." He took a breath. "I'm not going to go through the trouble of questioning him. Cyborg said he would take care of that. We'll talk with Cyborg later and get the full story."
Aqualad nodded. "That's easier."
Robin nodded. "I hope so." He sighed. "This isn't how I wanted to start my morning, to be honest."
Aqualad and Raven nodded in agreement. "This should be fun," Aqualad said glumly.
"Yes," Raven sat up a little straighter. "Real hardcore."
"That was hardcore," Billy said shakily.
In Cyborg's opinion, it had been a fairly calm ride across the water. The waves weren't even kicking around as much as they usually did.
"Why, thank you," Cyborg said, cutting the engine.
"That must be what Jesus felt like when he was walkin' on water."
Cyborg shook his head, holding back laughter. "Maybe. Hey," He said, opening the door. "Can I trust you to behave? Watch the language and all that?"
"On my honor, Cyborg," Billy said cheerfully. "I will be at my best behavior."
"Yeah," Cyborg muttered. "But what kind of behavior is that?"
They walked up to the door. Billy tipped his head up and whistled.
"Think you coulda made it any bigger? "
"Shut up," Cyborg said as he typed the code into the door's pad.
The huge doors slid open to reveal Beast Boy reaching for the indoor keypad.
"Oh! Hey Cy, wanna come with me to…" Beast Boy trailed off awkwardly at the sight of a sunglassed kid with messy hair and blood on his shirt standing in the doorway. "Uh, who is that?"
"Aw," The criminal said, sounding disappointed. "Ya mean ya can't tell?"
Beast Boy's eyes bulged. "Billy Numerous?"
"Unfortunately," Cyborg grinned.
Billy shot him a dark look. "What's that supposed to mean?" He turned back to Beast Boy. "And what're you lookin' at?"
"Nothing!"
The three of them stood like that for a few more seconds before anyone took the initiative to speak.
"Um…so…" Beast Boy took an awkward glance at his feet before busting out with, "Is it true that you ate five HUGE cockroaches on a dare?"
Billy's jaw came very close to dropping open. He turned slightly to Cyborg and muttered, "Stuck to the curriculum, didja?"
"I had to talk a little shit," Cyborg muttered back, "or else they would have suspected something."
"Ah. Well, that's alright, then," Billy replied sarcastically, and in normal tones said to Beast Boy, "Actually, it was more like seven."
"Really?" Beast Boy gasped.
"Yeah," Billy nodded, one eyebrow raised in confusion. "Really."
Cyborg ducked around the beast-morpher to get inside, Billy in tow. Behind them, Beast Boy stood frozen in awe.
"That is hardcore," He whispered reverently, and ran outside, letting the big doors slide shut.
Billy took a puzzled glance over his shoulder as Cyborg led him to the elevator. "That felt way too easy."
"What did? He wasn't quizzing you."
"Yeah, but…" Billy shook his head, laughing a little. "It was so damn easy to impress him. Cockroaches really ain't that big a deal compared to some of the things I've eaten."
"It was," Cyborg said. "BB's an easy guy to impress. Just wait 'til we get further in."
"Can't wait," Billy said. "You guys must live pretty clean if cockroaches are such a big deal."
"Why? What else have you eaten?"
"Cigarette butts. Bars of soap. I tried to choke down some of those puke-flavored Harry Potter jelly beans, but it just warn't worth it."
"Well, nobody around here does much of that. Robin's a Nazi when it comes to people's health."
Billy fell silent.
"I called ahead," Cyborg continued as the elevator door dinged open. He stepped in, and checked behind him to make sure Billy was still there. You never knew. "So don't expect much shock factor. I don't think this will take too long. I think…" He finally noticed Billy's look. "You okay?"
"Who, me? I'm peachy."
"You mad about the cockroach story?"
"Jesus, I'm not that sensitive. Lighten up."
"Then what's up?"
Billy reached up to rub his eyes under his sunglasses and leaned against the elevator wall. "Hangover, that's all. I need coffee."
"Well, sorry," Cyborg shrugged. "But we don't have any of that here."
Billy gave him a hard look. "You what?"
"We don't have coffee."
Billy whipped off his sunglasses. His brown eyes were a little bloodshot. "Hold up the horses there, pal. When you say you don't have coffee---"
"I mean we don't keep coffee around here. Robin disapproves of the caffeine," Cyborg said, not sure whether to be amused or worried. "Is that okay?"
"WHAT? No, it's not---I mean---are you people even American?" Billy demanded. "How can't you drink coffee? You drank coffee while you were with us!"
"Yeah, and it was nasty. Didn't you notice how I always dumped all that sugar into it?"
"I'm not gonna question how a man takes his coffee!"
"Well, I don't take it."
"Yeah, well, you are---agh!" Billy stopped, rubbing hard at his temples. "Fuck!"
"If you didn't drink---" Cyborg began.
"I wouldn't get hangovers," Billy finished angrily. "I've heard."
"You want aspirin?"
"No," Billy said. "Let's just get this crap over with."
"It's mostly paperwork."
Billy groaned.
The doors slid open, revealing Robin, Raven, and Aqualad, all sitting in various positions of alertness on the couch.
"Thanks, Cyborg," Billy muttered. "For gathering each and every one of my favorite Titans on this momentous occasion. Yer such a pal."
"I could have gotten Bumble Bee for you, if you wanted," Cyborg muttered back sweetly. Billy huffed sourly.
"Billy Numerous," Robin said, standing up. "We heard there was some trouble this morning."
"Yeah? Well, you heard wrong," The criminal said, taking a long drag from his cigarette. "Nothing happened."
"Oh, that reminds me," Cyborg plucked the cigarette from the criminal's fingers. "No smoking indoors."
"What? Come on," Billy whined.
"You can smoke later."
"No, I can't. Seymour won't allow cigarettes in the house. I haven't had a good smoke in, like, five months."
Cyborg gasped. "You quit smoking?"
"Obviously I didn't," Billy said, pointing at his cigarette in Cyborg's hand. "I just…stopped for a while. Took a break."
"You quit! Oh my GOD, you quit, and I let you start again!" Cyborg smacked him over the head. "Why'd you let me do that? Cigarettes kill!"
"Thanks, Cyborg," Billy said, rubbing his smacked head. "I only hear that just about every single time I light up in public!"
"If you two are finished," Robin cut in meaningfully, with a dark look at Billy.
"In a second," Cyborg said quickly. To Billy, he said, "I should smack you all over town! Seymour's right! No more cancer sticks for you!"
"Who died and made ya---hey!" He ducked from another cuff from Cyborg.
"I'm surprised you lasted five months," Cyborg stubbed the cigarette out on the table, shaking his head ruefully. "Did you sneak smokes when he wasn't around?"
"No," Billy said moodily. "I just stopped."
"But the nicotine---"
"No effect. What?" Billy said defensively when he saw Cyborg's suspicious stare. "I didn't like stopping, and it sucked lots, but I never had cravings or anything. No big deal."
Cyborg shook his head. "Weird."
"Thanks fer that."
Cyborg turned back to Robin. "Okay. Sorry. Go ahead."
"Thank you," Robin said icily. He turned back to Billy, "Cyborg already explained what happened, so we don't have a lot to talk about."
"Thank God," Billy chirped. He turned, and seemed to notice Aqualad and Raven for the first time. "What're you lookin' at?"
"It's our living room," Raven said. "We can look at whatever we want."
"Really," Billy rolled his eyes. "Good call. Never mind then." Under his breath, he muttered, "Psycho witch."
"What was that?"
Billy faced her square on. "I said you were a psycho witch. And if you're trying to scare somebody with that look, I'd suggest twitching your eyebrows a little less, it looks dumb." He turned back to Robin. "Anythin' else?"
Raven took a step forward, but Aqualad placed a hand on her shoulder. "Later," He muttered. "You can always get him later."
"I want to get him now," Raven muttered back, but she stopped whatever she had been rustling up in her cloak.
After glancing quickly to make sure Raven wasn't about to kill anyone, Robin turned back to Billy. "Look. We're doing you a huge favor. Normally---"
"Yeah, yeah. I'm forever grateful and stuff," Billy finished for him. "Can we get this over with?"
Robin narrowed his eyes. "The papers are over there," He gestured vaguely towards the couch before turning to Cyborg. "We'll need to talk later."
"Yeah," Cyborg said, with a sideways look to Billy. "Yeah, cool. I'll show him what to do."
"Do that." With one last dark look towards Billy, Robin stormed out, Raven and Aqualad in tow.
When they were gone, Billy whistled. "He's even shorter up close than I thought."
As soon as they were out of the room, Aqualad burst. "Is he anorexic or something? He's so thin!"
"Incredibly fearless," Raven said carefully. "Or really stupid. I'd like to think it's the latter."
"He totally burned you," Aqualad shook his head in disbelief. "I didn't think anybody had guts enough…that they could…" He trailed off weakly when he saw Raven's face.
"They can't," Raven said darkly, and stormed off, leaving Aqualad rather weak-kneed in the hallway.
Aqualad looked back to Robin. "So…what did you think?"
Robin opened his mouth to speak…but gave up and just shook his head.
"I thought it was weird," Aqualad pressed on. "I mean, since when are Billy and Cyborg…like that?"
"Like what?" Robin said sharply.
Aqualad ran a hand through his hair. "Well…friendly, if you can call it that. On speaking terms."
"Cyborg infiltrated HIVE," Robin said shortly. "They got acquainted. He talked to me about it."
"But so did Bee," Aqualad said. "And she hates them all."
"Cyborg and Bumble Bee are very different," Robin shrugged. "I'm not going to pretend to understand it, because I don't. But Cyborg has things under control. I trust him."
"I'm not saying I don't," Aqualad said gently. "I was just wondering."
"I know," Robin sighed. "I'm sorry. I think I'm going to join Bee in the gym." He noticed his fists, and unclenched them. "Need to get the steam off."
"Sure. See ya later."
Aqualad took the opposite hall, the one that led to the many guest-rooms the guest-Titans were inhabiting. He met Speedy on the way.
"There you are," He said sourly. "You missed it."
"Missed what?" Speedy returned.
"A make-out session between Raven and Starfire," Aqualad said sarcastically. "It was hardcore."
"What? Aw," The archer chuckled good-naturedly. "I'll just have to wait until next time."
"Whatever," Aqualad rolled his eyes and pushed past his teammate.
"Hey," Speedy grabbed his arm. "What's up your ass? Seriously."
"Nothing," Aqualad pulled his arm away. "Nothing, I just…I want to go back to our Tower, that's all. There's too many of us here."
"Robin's getting on your nerves?" Speedy guessed.
"No," Aqualad shook his head. "It's just getting really tense. People's egos are clashing."
Speedy shrugged. "I haven't noticed."
"Probably 'cause you're always going out," Aqualad said. "Why aren't you in costume?" He added, plucking at Speedy's Raiders jersey. "We're on duty."
"I hate spandex," Speedy snorted. "It's not comfortable. I don't get how people like you and Robin can walk around in costume all the time."
"We're responsible, that's all," Aqualad said. "Where are you going?"
"To get a bite," Speedy jerked a thumb towards the common room. "You hungry?"
"No. Too much stuff happening in there."
"Really? I wanna see!" Speedy took off down the hall. Aqualad, left standing alone in a hall for the second time, shook his head, disgusted.
Cyborg rubbed his head, trying to decide exactly how badly things had gone. Billy had controlled his trucker's mouth, at least…but he'd managed to make even worse enemies with Raven, of all people, not to mention show complete dismissal for Robin's authority. Cyborg knew he'd be hearing about that later.
Billy Numerous had guts, Cyborg had to admit. Either guts or no brains at all. Watching him work was always a hardcore experience.
"Maybe you fergot," Billy said loudly, "but my shirt?"
"Oh yeah, the blood," Cyborg said, casting about. He thought about telling Billy how close he'd been to being castrated by Raven, but decided the lecture could wait a while. He knew better than to think that Billy might suddenly start caring, but it was always good to cover your bases, just so you could say, "I told you so," later.
Cyborg was just considering pulling out one of his own huge shirts and telling Billy to just deal with it when Speedy walked in with his usual, "What the fuck is going on?"
"Hey, Roy, come here," Cyborg called out in a friendly manner.
Roy swaggered up, grinning, and Cyborg proceeded to rip off his Raiders shirt. He pushed a protesting archer away and tossed the shirt to Billy. "Suit up."
"I hate the Raiders," Billy muttered darkly, throwing his own bloodstained shirt aside carelessly.
"What the hell? That's my shirt!" A shirtless Roy demanded. To Cyborg, he said, "Who the hell is he?"
"You don't recognize him? Take a good look."
Roy did. "Never seen him before."
"Sure ya have," Billy said cheerfully. "I distinctly remember my fist makin' friends with yer jaw last time we saw each other."
After a second, Roy guessed, "Billy Numerous?"
"Bingo."
"Naw," Roy shook his head. "Can't be. You're too short."
This stopped Billy in his tracks. "I'm what? Shut up!" He snapped to Cyborg, who was doubled over laughing. He turned back to Roy. "What'd you call me?"
"Short," Roy said stubbornly. "You are. You can't be more than five foot four. I'm five foot seven, and I'm on the smaller side."
"I'm five foot five, thank ya very much!"
"That's kinda short in this line of work," Cyborg managed to gasp out over his giggles.
"And you're hella skinny. What's up with that?" Roy began to circle the criminal. "And---hey, are those burns?" He said, pointing at Billy's hands.
"What, these? Yeah," Billy said smugly. "Ever played Chicken?"
"Hell yeah," Roy flexed his own hand. "But I don't have burns like that."
"You probably didn't have a very good opponent, then. Those are weak."
"Ha! Whatever! I rule at Chicken! I am the Chicken A La King!"
"Save it. I'll play you."
"Oh, man, you're on!"
Great, Cyborg thought despairingly. Beavis and Butthead meet.
"Billy, we gotta go," Cyborg jerked his thumb towards the table. "Paperwork."
Billy groaned. "I think my hangover just came back."
"Yeah, yeah, come on."
"Hey!" Roy followed them in doggedly. "That's still my shirt!"
Billy sneered. "It looks better on me."
"The hell it does! It's too big for you," Roy fell silent for a second. "What kind of cigarettes do you smoke?"
Billy pulled out his stolen pack and tossed them to the archer. "These, at the moment."
"I've never tried this kind," Roy said, pulling one out.
"Hey!" Cyborg said warningly. "No lighting up indoors! You know the rules."
"Then let's go outside!"
"He can't," Cyborg said, shooting Billy a meaningful look. "He has to do paperwork."
"But I wanna play Chicken!"
"What the hell is Chicken?"
"A cigarette game!" Roy explained eagerly. "You put the tip of your cigarette to the other guy's hand, and he does the same to you, and the first one to wuss out loses!"
"No point in you two playing then," Cyborg shook his head. "Billy would kick your ass at that game."
"He would not!"
"I most certainly would," Billy put in mildly.
"The hell you would! Let's go!"
"I'm warning you," Cyborg said. "This guy can't feel pain."
"We'll see about that," Roy leered.
"Go put on a shirt," Cyborg told him. "You two can play later."
Roy stomped off, sulking. Cyborg turned to Billy, who was grinning broadly. "You feeling better?"
"A little," Billy admitted. "Nice to know not everybody here is so anal."
"Robin's not anal," Cyborg said, a little defensively. "He's just…doing his job."
"Which is being anal," Billy sighed. "Okay, where is this load of shit?"
"Right there," Cyborg pointed to the couch and the table behind it.
Billy's jaw dropped.
"All that?"
"Yup."
"Each and every…?"
"Yup."
Billy shot him a dark look. "This is cruel and unusual punishment."
"Nope, just standard procedure," Cyborg patted him on the shoulder. "Get crackin'."
"What'd I do to deserve this?" Billy moaned.
"Well, for starters---"
"I meant this morning?"
"Oh." Cyborg thought for a second. "Well, you started smoking again. That probably counts."
Billy groaned.
Next we'll get back to Jinx and Kid Flash! But there's more fun with Billy to come!
