This isn't a very long chapter, but I thought it was better than nothing. Meh. I'll get into plot in the next chapter. Right now, all my (remaining) characters need a break.

ZaneSprinklePixal: Thank you. I'm glad that you liked my idea to have Pensee and Tancred as Zane's parents. Just imagine how Zane's gonna yell at them next time they talk... Wow. That was pretty random. Why a mailbox? Conquer is spelled with a Q. :p

I heard from eight different people on chapter 8. That makes me so incredibly happy that I...sniff. Thank you (^^*)


Numb


Nya awakened with a start. The Bounty was shaking. Were they landing somewhere?

Jay moaned and turned over. He opened an eye wearily. "What's going on?" he asked.

"I don't know. Maybe we're running low on power."

"Mmm," Jay said. "You're probably right."

Nya slowly and painfully sat upright. "It's ridiculous," she said breathlessly. "A year ago, I was running missions with you guys, running with almost as much stamina as Zane. Now look at me. I feel fat."

"Naw," Jay said reassuringly. He sat upright and scooted close to her. "There's a difference between fat and pregnant. And since there's a little boy in there," he pressed a hand to her belly and leaned in, "I think...hmm. You're probably just pregnant. Not fat."

Nya snorted softly and leaned into his warm embrace. "Thanks for that reassurance. I'm sure that..." she trailed off, cocking her head toward the door. "That's Zane's voice. I wonder if Kai's back." She jumped from the bed- almost fell over, regained her balance- and ran for the door. Jay followed.

She heard the last part of a question Cole was asking as she made her way down the hall. "...a glass of water?" He sounded worried. Grieved, even.

Nya skidded to a stop in the first aid room and beheld the three men before her; Cole, Lloyd and Zane. "Where's Kai?" she asked excitedly.

Zane, who slumped in a disheveled heap on a chair, lifted his eyes and looked at her.

She had never seen him look so dispirited and grief-stricken in her life.

There must have been an overload of maternal hormones ravaging her body because the next thing she knew, she was at his side, stroking his filthy hair and giving him awkward pregnant hugs. "Are you hurt?" she asked. "What's wrong, Zane? Why were you gone so long? We were so worried!"

Zane shied away from her touch and wrapped his arms around himself. He seemed to be fighting tears as he shuddered and closed his eyelids.

Nya hesitated, then turned to Cole. He met her gaze, then immediately looked away. He looked like someone had smacked him with his own scythe. Lloyd bore a similar expression.

Jay wrapped an arm around Nya's shoulders. "Will someone please tell us what's going on?" he said, face hard.

Cole finally stepped forward. "Outside," he said. "It's such a mess. Nindroid bodies, smoke, and...blood."

Jay's grip tightened on Nya's shoulder. "Where is Kai?" His voice was firm and strangely comforting to her. Jay will make sure that everything turns out okay. He's strong.

"I'm sorry," Zane said in a soft whimper. Like a beaten animal. "I am so, so sorry, all of you."

"No." Nya pulled herself out of Jay's grasp and ran from the room. At the end of the hallway, she darted up the stairs and across the deck. "No. Please..." She gripped the railing and stared at the dark ground below. Bodies everywhere, illuminated by the dwindling embers of a burning tree.

And...in the center of it all was a crater. There was blood and ash and-

Kai. Only he wasn't Kai anymore. He was the blood and the ash and the crater.

Nya's knees gave way and she fell to the floor, sobbing. "No," she said over and over again, "not you, Kai. No. No, Kai..." until she felt Jay's arms encompassing her, and she buried herself in his shoulder. "No...no..."

How long she stayed out there no one knew. Nor did anyone care.


Zane lay in a fetal posture under his blankets, trying to drown out all the noise from the others outside the room. His head was a cacophony of confused emotions like anger, guilt, and hate. Mostly hate.

He hated that Kai hard died. He hated that he had gone back in time and saved Jay, only to lose his best friend in the process. He hated that Nya was hurting because of his mistakes.

Mistakes. Zane curled up a little tighter and closed his eyes. That's all he was. A big fat mistake. His own parents had sent him away, sending his soul into the body of a junky robot to suffer for an eternity.

He had saved thousands of lives during his lifetime. But what did these victories mean if he lost his family in the process?

Kent. Susannah. Jordan.

I'm so selfish, he thought. Even when I try to save others, there's always an ulterior motive.

He knew he should be out there comforting his friends during this difficult time. Just like Kai had done for him when Nya died. But he couldn't bring himself to do it.

There comes a time when even the most calloused, hardened hearts cannot bear the pressure anymore. When they realize that struggling and screaming are utterly useless tokens.

When they become so broken that they forget how to cry.

That was how Zane felt now. Staring at the insides of his eyelids and wishing that these emotions would do something besides sit like a volcano, magma churning below the mountain's roots and never reaching the surface.

The door opened. A single set of footsteps walked in, heavy and slow as if weighed with a burden.

"Zane?" It was Nya's voice, soft and cracking. "Are you asleep?" He heard the soft creak of wood as she sat down.

Zane felt a hand brush through his hair softly. He was too tired react to her light touch. That, and he felt too horrible to look her in the eyes. It was safer to pretend he was asleep.

A soft sob, a sniffle. She kept her hand on his head. Her other was probably rubbing her belly in that obsessive way that she always did when she was struggling through an intense emotion. Like joy or, in this case, grief. "I...I don't know what to say," she whispered. "You haven't been very happy lately, and now this happens. Kai-"

A long moment passed as she focused on her breathing. In and out. Hiccuping. More sniffles.

"I don't blame you," she said eventually. "None of us do. So don't beat yourself up about it. Okay?"

The sounds she made as she struggled to hold back her weeping... It reminded Zane of those first months after Jay's death. When the first pink rays of sunlight caught on dew droplets on the Bounty's windows, he would be there for her. When those nightmares had her screaming like a child, he would hold her close and kiss her cheek- and later, her lips, tell her it was all right. That he was there for her.

"You're asleep," Nya said. "Why am I even talking to you? This feels kind of silly."

No, Zane found himself thinking against his better judgment. Don't feel silly, because you're not. Don't leave me here alone.

Another selfish thought.

"I-I'd better go." Nya's voice was wavering. "Please sleep well, Zane. You need it. And...we all love you." Her hand- her warm, comforting hand that Zane craved so desperately- left his hair. He could hear the wood creak as she left the chair, then all noise ceased. It was as though she had stopped breathing.

Then, her hand stroked his cheek. His ear, his nose...his eyelids. Her thumb lingered there for a few heartbeats before her lips pressed against his forehead.

So beautiful. So tender. So everything he did not deserve.

Zane was ripped in two right then. One part rejoiced in the simple fact that she was touching him. That she didn't treat him like the monster that he was.

But the other part ruined the moment for him. It gave him an almost irresistible urge to shove her away. Foolish woman, what was she thinking? He was a murderer. So many had died at his hands- including Kai and, and one point, Jay. He had no right to receive her kindness.

He wanted to reach up and grab her hand. Hold it close to him forever. He wanted to run his hands through her hair, embrace her tightly and tell her that everything would be all right. That today was a new day. That it was time to leave the nightmares behind and start training, have a cup of hot chocolate- Nya's favorite- after few warm-up stretches.

That they had a few minutes before the twins would wake up, so...did she want to read a book together? No, just forget about the laundry. It could wait until after breakfast.

I love you, I love you, I love you so, so much, Nya! Please, stay with me forever because I cannot live with this monster anymore!

Nya stood- leaving a wet mark on his temple from her tears- and left him alone in the room.

Zane still could not cry. Something had broken deep inside of him. Something irreparable, something that would never, ever be the same again.

But knowing that he had a few of her tears made him feel a little better. A little less alone.

And that's all he could ever hope for.


I don't know about you, but this made me feel sad.

I'm experimenting with a different form of writing. It's a little more informal than usual; did you notice? The second to the last paragraph from Nya's POV was a prime example of this. That sentence was really long. Or that other one where Zane was recalling a time when he invited Nya to read with him. That was fun to write for some reason. :p

I've gotta go. Piano lessons tomorrow, 2,000 words to write before that. Blegh. I'll try to get seven hours of sleep tonight. I'll hopefully see Big Hero 6 tomorrow after my lessons. Has anyone here already seen it? No spoilers please, I just want to know if you thought it was any good. (Did you know that BH6 is based off of a Marvel comic? Just a random fact.)

Please review? I know there isn't much to say, but still...I enjoy a few words, just so I can know that you read it. Bacon Pop Tarts [ :: ] for y'all. But for you who hate bacon like me, have some cookies. ( :: )