"Father, please help me bring out dessert." I state.
"But miss Rosie said.."
"Now!"
This whole dinner has been a train wreck. I wished this was a sitcom, but sadly this is real life and I can't change the channel.
As soon my Father steps into the kitchen, I glare at him.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
"What? Am I doing?" he asks, completely oblivious to his behavior today.
"You told the whole table about my past life. Everyone probably thinks I'm some sort of hoe."
He chuckles.
"No they don't."
I just stare at him, waiting for him to realize how foolish he sounds.
"Alright. I didn't mean for it to come out that way. I was just hyping you up. You know? Letting them know you don't have a problem finding a date or..."
"Getting laid!" I add.
"Please don't be mad at me, Sami."
I know his intentions were well, but his comments were a bit too much. I think Senna almost had a heart attack. Not to mention, Pastor Tonraq's overthinking face that's now glued into my memory. Of course Mako found everything humorous, as if he wanted all of this to happen.
But what gets me worked up the most, is the fact, I could read everyone but Korra. She just continued eating, unfazed by the unneeded information. Which is concerning, because if any other of my friends heard what my Father said, they would be laughing. Maybe even adding a few comments, to go along with the theme. Shouldn't her reaction be similar?
"I'm not mad at you. I just want you to have a filter for the rest of the night."
" Thanks, Baby Girl. I'll be on my best behavior."
We both return to the table with the dishes, set them on the table, and take our seats.
"What a lovely looking pie." Senna says.
"It's Asami Mother's secret recipe." My Father replies.
"Well, I don't think I'll keep how great it will taste a secret." Pastor Tonraq teases.
As I'm moving my pie around, I notice Korra still quiet. I should probably say something.
"Hey, Father do you think we could bring out the go-kart?"
"That sounds like a great idea. I missed ridding around in them. It's sort of hard racing, when no one wants to race you." He replies.
"Now, you have a few racing opponents. How do you like the sound of that ,Korra?" I ask, causing the blue eyed girl to look up finally.
"That sounds fun." She replies, unenthusiastic.
Which catches me off guard, because she was so thrilled about racing earlier.
"Count this old man out." Pastor Tonraq adds.
"Me too." Senna states as well.
"In that case, let's do girls against boys. We also have two seater karts." I suggest.
My Father chuckles.
"Mako you think, you can hang?"
My boss claps, energized.
"Of course. We can totally kick these girls' butts."
"Actually…I was wondering if Hiroshi could drive me." Korra states.
Is she serious? She wants my Father? I'm the best racer at this table! My Father is good but….. he's not a professional like myself.
"Do you think you'll lose on my team?" I tease.
She cuts a piece from her pie.
"No. I just don't feel like racing competitively, today. Just want to enjoy a ride." She replies.
"I can give you a ride too."
"ASAMI, I REALLY DON'T WANT YOU TO!" The tone in her voice echoes through my ears. Why is she so upset?
My Father clears his throat.
"I'll love to give you a ride Korra and anyone else who wants one."
"Count me in." Senna says, eagerly, catching a questionable look from her husband.
"What? I thought we would be driving ourself before." She says lowly.
I don't know what I did to cause her to lash out at me. We were fine earlier, up until my love life was brought into the mix. I try reading Korra again, but she's too engaged in what Mako showing her, on his phone.
Does she feel uncomfortable being alone with me? Now that her parents know who I'm attracted to? Earlier she did imply she didn't want her parents meeting me. She may not have said it, but now seeing her behavior, maybe that's what she meant. This is all too much to process. I'm starting to get a headache.
"Maybe racing isn't for me today, after all." I state.
"Are you sure?" My Father asks, concerned.
"Yeah. I just need to rest, I'm getting a headache .If you all would excuse me."
I get up, grab my plate, and exit the room.
As I lay in my bed, the sound of cheers, tires squeaking, and engines. Echoes throughout my ears. The sound doesn't bother me, it's the fun everyone seem to be having that's upsetting.
My head really was killing me, but if Korra didn't come off as being annoyed by my presence, maybe I would have pushed through the pain, for her.
As I'm contemplating, there is a knock on my door.
"Who is it?" I call out, which makes my head throb even more.
"Korra."
The door suddenly opens and I internally groan.
"Rosie told me to bring you some pain relievers."
I sit up, relived.
"Great. Thank You."
" I told her not to give you any."
"Why not?"
"Are you seriously asking me that question?"
She's right. It's because she hates me and wants me to be in pain.
"I thought you were racing." I reply.
"I was, but I wanted to check on you."
She moves away from my bed and takes a seat at my desk chair, turning it around so it's facing me.
" That's funny, because at dinner. You wanted nothing to do with me." I reply, without hesitation.
"Are you serious?"
"Yes."
I don't know what came over me, but I just started spitting facts.
"Why didn't you want me to race with you? Correct me if I'm wrong, but... you begged us to race. It's like once the topic of Suki got brought up, you switched up on me. I'm sorry that I brought up my sexuality, but I'm not ashamed of it. No matter what your parents may think. It sort of hurts, knowing you would even disown me, like you did."
She just stares at me in awe and I lean my head back on to my pillow. I can't talk and sit up at the same time, it takes too much from me.
I hear the chair being pushed in, then feel a body joining me on the bed.
"Is that what you think?" she asks.
"Pretty much." I reply, covering my face with another pillow, to help with my migraine.
"You're such a child, you know that?" She replies, pulling the pillow off my face.
"How am I the child, Korra? You're the one who had the temper tantrum! " I yell, for no apparent reason.
Korra gets up from the bed and paces the floor.
"You're unbelievable."
"Touché." I reply
"Did Suki teach you that?" she replies.
She. did. not. just. go there!
"Wowwww, Korra! Who's the child now? Saying such an immature comment. You know what? I'm glad I didn't race with you!"
I see her fist ball up and you know what? I don't care. Even as a friend, I feel like I'm the only one being real. It's about time she showed some type of emotion.
She turns to me and I'm ready for her rage to be unleashed, but instead her eyes soften.
"Asami, let's not fight, okay? I didn't come up here for that. I came up here to give you an explanation on why I didn't want to race with you."
"No need to explain. You didn't feel comfortable with me, I understand." I reply, no longer feeling the rage myself.
"You're right. I didn't feel comfortable. Because… you had at least 4 glasses of wine. Which explains, your headache right now. Which explains, why you shouldn't take any pills. Which explains, the reason you aren't being logically. I'm sorry, if I hurt you feeling. But drinking and driving is not a joke! I rather hurt your feelings, rather than you hurting me, you, or anyone else!"
I'm such an ass right now. Why didn't I realize this before? I'm so logically, how could I be so foolish? No one else seemed to notice my drinking, yet Korra did. All this time I thought she was in her own little world, but she was aware about everything that was going on.
"So you think my parents hate you because of your sexual orientation?" she asks, getting me out of my train of thought.
"Well yeah."
"Wow, that's pretty stereotypical. Just because my Father is a Pastor, doesn't mean he or my Mother hates the LGBTQ community. Sure, they have doubts, but that's just them. We have tons of members just like you at our church."
Now I feel guiltier. I was so worry about them judging me, that I never thought about me judging them. I'm such a hypocrite. To think about it. They were just asking questions. Not once did they voice their opinion on the matter
"I'm so sorry Korra, you're right."
"Oh not me? The child? I can't be right." She replies.
She returns to the edge of the bed and turns her body so it's facing me.
"I'm really sorry for my behavior." I say again. She probably thinks I'm crazy.
"No, it's fine. You have every right to be defensive. There are, people in this world, who are homophobic and sometimes those people use a text from the Bible to decide how they treat others. Which gives my Father and people like me, a bad name. Did you know it's a sin for a woman to whistle?"
"Really? I didn't know. I'm going to Hell!"
A smile appears on face again.
"It's a minor sin. But most people don't know that. All because they rely on what others tell them, instead of reading the Bible themselves. My point is, I whistle all the time, and that doesn't mean I'm going to burn for life. So who you love doesn't mean anything. Well… to me and my family it doesn't."
she reaches across the bed and grabs my hand.
"I would never disown you. You mean far too much to me."
"That means a lot, Korra. Can I give you a hug?"
"Of course."
It was quick hug because I'm starting to feel dizzy.
"One last thing about dinner, then we can drop it. Do you not like Suki?" I ask, as we pull away.
"I love Suki, she's my friend. Why would you even ask me that.?"
"Could you blame me for asking, though? You acted so weird when Mako brought her up."
"Because I didn't think he would bring her up! He was also pushing the relationship too much."
The tone of her voice, takes me back.
"So you don't like Suki?"
"Shut up!"
My shocked facial expression causes her to laugh.
"I'm sorry. There is something about repetition, that triggers me. Tenzin repeats things a lot. I guess, I got reminded by that. But I heard you the first time, and I answered you as well. Suki, is really great and I think you two would be perfect for each other…..if you ever want to talk about her, to me….. you can. I know, you don't like hearing about Mako, but I'm perfectly fine hearing about her."
This time I laugh.
"I only met her once, and we fought the whole time."
"That's not the only thing, you two did."
"What?"
"My point is, you can get to know her."
"Are you trying to set me up?" I tease.
"Oh not at all. I'm just really good at seeing chemistry, between two people and you and her definitely have it."
I don't know if it's me, or the alcohol in my system, but she sounds like she's struggling with her words, as if they taste disgusting. Haha you can't taste words.
"What's funny?" Korra asks.
"Words." I reply, trying to control my laughter.
"Are you drunk?" She asks.
"I don't know. Do you have a breathalyzer?"
"This is crazy."
I put my hands over my ears.
"Must you be so loud? Why are you mad at Mako." I ask.
"I'm not mad at him!"
"Yeah Yeah Yeah. I saw the way, you were looking at him."
"Asami, you're drunk. You don't know what you're saying."
"Maybe so. But I have been in the corporate world long enough, to feel tension between two parties. Now, I may not have the authority to sit you two in a room, so you both can talk it out. But you can vent to me, tell me what the problem is."
She laughs.
"What's 2 +2=?" she asks.
"Four. I'm drunk, not dumb. I could most likely buy successful stock right now, if I wanted to. I just…. can't remember where I parked my car." I reply, curious on the location.
"Okay, that's a good thing. You're spending the night here."
"Really? We're having a sleep over?"
Korra laughs.
"No. I have to leave tonight. I could call Ashley if you want." she tease.
I cover my head.
"No, please don't call her."
"Why not?" she asks.
"You really don't know?" I ask.
Korra laughs.
"Nope, tell me."
I bring my face closer to her ear, hold her shoulder for support, and whisper.
" I took her V card and she took my portable DVD player."
After such confession, I lean back onto my pillow.
"Alright! That's good to know." she replies.
"That's why she can't come back! She's a theft, Korra."
"Well, if she does come back I'll fight her, for you."
"I don't want you to fight her. I want you to get my DVD player back. Enough about me. Mako talk now!"
"Fine. Only because, you told me such a secret."
"Exactly, a secret, secret."
"Haha sureeee. I just feel guilty sometimes with him."
"Why?"
The four arms and two headed girl shrugs.
"Because he's too good to me and I feel like he's wasting his time."
"Why would he be wasting his time with you? You're the best thing since sliced bread, Gurlll."
"Yep, carbs are pretty great."
Ugh food group jokes.
"I train almost every day and even though we find time for each other. I feel like it's not enough. Every time he sees me, he looks at me like i'm some sort of Goddess. I'm no way near perfect.
She's right. She the point of perfect. She's the purpose of perfect. If you look up perfect in the dictionary, her name is the definition.
"What's so upsetting about someone treating you like that." I ask, not getting the point.
She looks up at me, with tears in her eyes.
"Exactly! Why do I constantly feel frustrated, for having a perfect boyfriend?"
She quickly wipes her eyes and smiles.
"Look at me. Being such a girl and crying over some boy."
"No, it's okay to cry. There is nothing wrong about crying. You're still a strong woman."
"I know, but I hate crying. I can control every part of my body, but when it comes to my eyes, they have a mind of their own."
There is a scientific reason for that, but I don't think now is the time to explain.
"Does Mako know how you feel?" I ask.
"Yes, and he just finds it adorable. There was a time where we used to fight constantly. Then suddenly everything changed and he started caring more. Now that he does that, it's like he's not genuine anymore. Let's say if we have an argument. He'll just throws in the towel and let me win. Yet, that's not how it should be. We're supposed to talk it out, until we both feel satisfied. Not just to ignore problems and move on."
I don't think sober me, could handle all this information all at once. I'm still trying to process everything. Basically, Mako is an enabler, or he's hiding something. He puts on a good front face at work and with my Father. But only I, have seen his true colors. Something is not right about him.
"Asami, please say something."
"Oh sorry. I was too busy thinking about, not dying."
Korra nods, waiting for me to continue.
"Well I can't give you much advice with my state of mind and all, but one thing I can ask you is. Do you love Mako?"
"Of course, I do. He's perfect"
I nod, expecting such a false answer.
"If he's so perfect, why would he allow you, to continue doubting your self-worth for him?"
Drunk Asami is dropping some facts. We have one more chapter till the Christmas party.
Thoughts are appreciated.
