Alex/Hank subtext if you squint. Or wear slash goggles. Either will work. Also, slight trigger warning for flippant mentions of mental illness.
xoxo
Alex and Hank
"You look mentally scarred, Bozo."
"Don't call me that. Besides, I am."
"What, a bozo?"
"No, you imbecile. I'm mentally scarred."
"What happened, man?"
"I found Erik and the Professor."
"Oh, man. Where were they this time?"
"In the greenhouse. All I wanted was some watercress for an experiment!"
"Instead, you found them experimenting in each other's watercress."
"That is possibly the most disgusting euphemism I have ever heard in my entire life."
"If you want disgusting, Bozo, then I'm your guy."
"…I don't want disgusting. I want nice. I want normal. I want sanity. Why do I feel like the only sane person in this whole mansion?"
"Maybe that's because Raven's busy painting your room bright pink –"
"– What?"
"…Anyway, I'm not insane! I'm just…eccentric."
"You keep telling yourself that, Alex."
"I don't have to – the voices in my head do it for me."
"…Please tell me that you're joking."
