Prompt/Title: Clowns
Character(s): Draco Malfoy, Ronald Weasley, Mr. Granger
Summary: Draco and Ron plot revenge.
Rating: T
Word count: 700 according to wordcounter . net
Author's notes: This is a continuation of the last drabble "Revolving". Part of the 20 Prompts, 20 Drabbles challenge, Character Trait! Boot Camp Challenge for cunning!Draco, Favorite Character Boot Camp Challenge for Wicked, and Friendship Boot Camp Challenge for Sorry. This is also part of the Chinese Moon Festival Challenge: Friend Slice, where I had to use memory as a prompt.
Thank you to my lovely beta, tygermine
All drabbles are part of the same timeline but not in any particular order.
Disclaimer: If I was rich, than maybe I owned HP, but I'm not rich and I don't own HP.
"Bloody Hell" was fucking right.
Weasley was still holding the book, sputtering, face all blotched up and red. Even his freckles had freckles.
Draco couldn't believe the audacity of his wife. He could see Pansy doing something like this, but Hermione, oh not Hermione. She was supposed to be the poster girl for everything that was good in this world, rainbows and sunshine, and all that shite.
But to let a bloke find out he's going to be a father by sending him to a baby store? Who the fuck does that? Even if Draco could barely stand the guy, he wouldn't wish this on any his worst enemy - not even Lord Voldemort, because he really didn't want to see what a child from that would become. And Draco thought he had daddy issues.
Draco was happy that his wife told him about Scorpius like a normal person would - by throwing up on him when she couldn't make it to the loo in time. He immediately Apparated them to St. Mungo's. At the time, he thought that it was the worse way to learn about impending fatherhood - it was more like doom then - but looking at the Weasel only made him happy with his lot in life.
He really did dodge a bullet there - not marrying Pansy and all.
He was really starting to feel sorry for the bloke. Maybe he could help him out. It would win him some brownie points with Hermione, and he liked what she did with those points.
"Weasel. It's a book of baby names. Yes, you're going to be a dad. Now, let's figure out a way to get back at your wife for telling you like this."
Mr. Granger just laughed, "That's the spirit. I'm going to head back to the dentistry now. No hard feelings boys, I didn't want a part of this, but you know how it is. Those girls can be downright scary."
Both young men shudder at the statement. Reminded that they were married to women who turned into harpies when angered, Draco decided to downplay the revenge he originally had planned - plus the bint was pregnant. It would be counterproductive to mess that up.
Once Ron finally wrapped his head around the idea of impending parenthood, he turned to Draco,
"Okay, Ferret, what did you have in mind?"
"Well, we're at a baby store. I know that Hermione loved it when I finally showed some enthusiasm," Draco looked around and began walking to the crib section. "When I came home with the baby stuff that I bought, she was very happy with me."
"I don't see how making her happy with me would be revenge."
Draco fingered a mobile that had a moon and stars hanging off it, and made note to get that the next time he had a child. "Well, that's the brilliance of the plan."
"I don't get it."
"Of course you don't. You do not have a single Slytherin bone in you. We'll get her something, she'll be happy with you," He finds a mobile with clowns, "Ah ha!"
"Clowns?"
"Freaky little buggers, more like."
"Clowns?" Weasley repeated, unimpressed.
"I remember when I was eight, going to the circus with Pansy and our mothers. When the clowns came up to us and just... let's just say Pansy does not like clowns."
"So I buy a mobile with clowns. Then what?"
Draco wondered why he ever spent any time with the dunderhead. Oh yeah, his wife and best friend kept setting them up. "We get her a necklace too, she give both as gifts. She'll be extremely happy that you took the news so well."
"I'm not. I'm in shock. I get the necklace, but how does a gift that will scare her translate to being extremely happy?"
Draco was going to have a talk with his wife. Hermione said she loves him for being so smart, well, if she wanted him to stay smart she'd stop making him spend time with the dimwit. His IQ was dropping, and fast. His one-year-old son Scorpius was smarter than this fool.
He shook his head, "Just do it, and you'll see."
Did you know that they say the more disillusioned we get, the more we lose our innocence; meaning that we do not accept/trust the smiling face of a painted clown. It makes us uneasy.
The more you know.
What does this mean for you? Well, it means that if you favorite and don't review as well, I'll sic the clowns on you! Not really, but it sure would be nice =)
