A faint, but penetrating and persistent sound, disturbed Joker's sleep. His brain was conditioned to wake up to "full on, red alert, impossible to ignore" racket, this wasn't that. In his semi-conscious state, he figured he could afford to ignore this one.
He lazily moved his head to one side, hoping to muffle it with the pillow. It wasn't working and it was waking him up even more with each subsequent buzz. Even though the sound was barely audible, the vibrations it made rung sympathetically in his ear drums. It felt like a small insect fluttering its wings inside his ear canal.
Beaten by the pesky noise he sat up in bed and rubbed his face with his hands in a bid to help him come around. He stuck his fingers in his ears, trying to dispel the tickling feeling. As he forced his eyes open, the blue light of Shepard's fish tank offended his corneas, causing his irises to contract painfully. He turned his head reflexively away from the light, and that's when he saw her splayed in bed, sound asleep in the most contorted position he'd ever seen.
A chuckle escaped his throat; 'If I ever slept that way, my spine would be broken in three places,' he thought.
His attention zeroed in on her innocently exposed neck. An impulse prompted him to make contact with her skin. He bent over in her direction, seeking to satisfy the urge, and his morning erection twitched in anticipation as he closed in on his target.
The insolent buzzing sound tickled his ear once more, making him stop mid-trajectory; 'Shit!' he screamed in his mind in utter frustration as he found himself forced to scratch his ear with his finger once again.
Reluctantly, he dragged himself out of bed and moved in the direction of the fastidious sound. He approached the couch, moved his uniform top to one side, and turned his cap over to get to his ear piece, lying inside it.
He put the device on; "Joker here,"
Samantha's friendly voice greeted him on the other end; "Sorry to wake you up at this time, Joker. You've got a call from Admiral Anderson."
"Sure, no problem, Sam. Patch it through," he answered, as a yawn escaped him.
"Can't do that. It's a secure channel, I'm afraid. You'll be picking up his call at the Vid-Comm."
That was all Joker needed to hear to fully awaken him. A slight sense alarm washed over him. He reached for his uniform top and started to get dressed.
"Got it! I'm on my way."
His head emerged from the neck of his uniform, promptly sliding it all the way through. He planted his cap on his head as he turned around, effectively half naked, searching for the rest of his clothes. There was no time for boxers; boots and pants would do. Once everything was in place, he took a fast look down on himself, he pat himself down, straightened himself up, and headed for the door. Right at the threshold, he stopped and turned around.
'Shepard' he thought, as he observed her figure lying in bed.
'I should wake her up. No! Wait!' he stopped himself. 'If this was so important, Anderson would be calling her, not me,' he reasoned.
'Still, what the fuck?!' he wondered; 'You won't know until you speak to him, so GO!'
Tearing himself away from the image of a naked Shepard blissfully asleep in bed, he willed himself out the door.
"Morning, Flight Lieutenant." Samantha's voice greeted him out of the elevator.
"Hey, Sam..." he answered her lazily.
"The Admiral's call is waiting for you at the Vid-Comm."
"Aye-aye Specialist" he retorted with a mock salute, making her giggle.
A few seconds later, he was inside the Vid-Comm, and he hit the connect button.
Anderson's holographic blue image flickered in front of him a couple of times before becoming fixed and in sharp focus. The Admiral turned around to face him. In response, Joker instinctively straightened up.
"Joker! Is that you?" He didn't wait for his response; "Good! Thanks for answering my call so quickly."
"Aye, Admiral. Would you be needing something from me, Sir?" Joker formally asked.
"As a matter of fact, yes, Joker, I do. Remember that chat we had about Commander Shepard? Right after I got her re-instated to the Normandy?"
"Yes, Sir, I do..." Joker's tone relaxed as he realized that the Admiral was not contacting him regarding official business.
"Good! I asked you to take care of her..." Anderson stopped himself before continuing;"...don't worry everything's fine. I need to ask you for another favor... I have this place at the Citadel..." he scratched his head searching for the right words; "...with all that is happening. Look! I want her to have it."
Joker had never heard Anderson so vacillating; his odd demeanor intrigued him.
"I've sent an address to you. I need you to take her there. I want it to be a surprise. Hell! This is the least I can do for the woman..." he exclaimed, taking his hand to his forehead.
"Sir?" Joker asked; "Not fully following..."
"As I said. Take her to the address I've sent you. I'll contact her once she's there."
"Admiral! If I may," Joker interrupted him; "How urgent is this? Does this have anything to do with the war efforts?"
Anderson chuckled, sympathetically; "Yes and no, Joker." He looked up with an amused expression that Joker couldn't figure out; "Mostly, no. This is a gift from me to her."
"Roger that Sir. I'll make sure she gets there."
Unexpectedly, Anderson responded with a soft laugh; "I'm sure you will..."
"Sir?" Joker asked dumfounded.
"Sorry, Joker," he coughed on his fist to regain some composure; "Lieutenant...Moreau!" he said feigning seriousness.
David looked up to discover Joker's holo-image staring back at him with a puzzled expression. As another giggle formed in his throat, he did his best to repress it as he addressed the quizzical-looking pilot; "Look, Joker. I know about you two."
Joker froze for a second. A bubbling fire in his stomach translated into a barrage of words coming through his mouth;
"With all due respect, Sir, I know what regulations dictate on matters such as these, but..."
David raised a hand to interrupt him; "Joker! Relax, boy!" He scanned the place around him before continuing in a lowered voice; "You listen to me, son. Forget all this rank crap. Man to man."
A sobering chill ran up Joker's spine.
"Do you have any idea what Shepard did for me? This was just a few days ago. Do you know? I tell you what she did! She rescued, NO!" he corrected himself before continuing; "She brought back to me, safe and sound, one of the few people I care about in this galaxy; Kahlee. First Lieutenant Kahlee Sanders, that is. She's Alliance!" He nodded, emphasizing his words; "Let me tell you one thing, Joker, if we live to see the end of this wretched war, there are no regulations in this, or the next, life that are gonna keep me from being with her. You understand what I'm saying to you?"
He dropped his head and softened his tone; "Of course you do. You always were one of our best and brightest."
Joker offered him a smile.
"There's a reason why I chose you to look after her."
David looked up as his mind searched his memory;
"It was an honor to be fighting with her, side by side, brief as it was, back here on Earth. You should have seen her. She never allowed any of those awful creatures anywhere near me, risking her own neck to protect this old guy," he placed a palm on his chest; "when all I wanted to do was to safeguard her. Right when things started to get a bit too hairy and our ammo was running low..." he lifted a finger at Joker; "...that's when you came in to whisk her away from danger, like you've done so many times before."
He let out a soft laugh; "I don't think there are many guys out there that can say they've rescued her, instead of the other way around," he finished lightheartedly.
Joker chuckled softly in agreement.
"The point is that you're there for her when it counts. Now, big shot, you think you can handle what I asked of you, as a personal favor to me?"
Joker lifted his head up to Anderson before answering; "Consider it done, and thanks..." he hesitated for a couple of seconds before adding; "...for everything."
"Aah..." he dismissed him with a hand gesture; "Save that mushy stuff, Lieutenant, for someone more receptive to it."
"No offence, Sir, but you're not my type," Joker answered him teasingly, causing David to chuckle.
"I figured," he said between hearty giggles; "That'll be all."
Joker tipped his cap in acknowledgment as David's image powered down.
Shepard rolled over to the other side, the movement itself made her come around a little, enough to make her recall that she wasn't sleeping by herself. She moved a little closer to where she guessed she'd find him. Sluggishly, she stretched her arm, seeking for the warmth she expected to find. She got nothing. She opened one eye, confirming that his side of the bed was effectively vacant. She sat up in bed to look in the direction of her bathroom suite; the door was open and the light turned off.
"Bastard!" she exclaimed out loud, frustrated; "The bastard is gone - again!" accompanying her words with a soft slap to her leg.
"Does he have to be so up tight?" she grumpily muttered, spinning her body to rest her feet on the floor.
She felt a piece of fabric caressing her toes.
She picked up the black garment to inspect it; "Is this his idea of a romantic gift?" she wondered, looking at his underwear.
She stretched the elastic waist with her hands; "Mind you, there's nothing wrong with this. Look how tiny that cute butt of his is!" she said, picturing the briefs filled up by him.
She turned them around to check the front; "I'll never know how he tucks all of that in here. My ass would be half way hanging out these."
She shrugged; "I guess there's only one way to find out." She put them on and got up.
She wiggled a bit and waved her hips to test the fit; "Not bad. Not bad at all" she said, surprised at how comfortable they were; "I think I'm switching to these!"
She put her hands on her hips and shrugged; "Well, I guess I'm up now. Let's go and find out where he's gone this time..."
