Kim Possible: A Blonde Moment "Impulse Control Problems"
By: Eoraptor
"Kim Possible" owned by the Walt Disney Corporation, see top of part 1 for full disclosures.
AN: takes place in season 4
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"Bored… bored bored bored bored… So freaking flapping bored." Sheshona repeated her mantra for the umpteenth time. She was stuck in the Possible household, with no where to go and nothing particularly entertaining to do.
"You are not to leave this house unless it's on fire, or someone is chasing you." was the Princess's command this morning before she'd left. It was proving particularly effective. She hadn't even tried to leave so far, but she wasn't sure if that was the command, or just her lack of places to go.
Once Sheshona had gotten over her morning vomit-inducing thoughts of ogling Kim Possible's backside, she found that she couldn't even seem to cause trouble. Not that she was a particularly spiteful person, or into causing mayhem for no reason what so ever; even though some would say she was… No, she wanted to start a fire, or wreck the place up and get the cops after her, because she figured that was the only way she could get around the command.
But for some reason she just couldn't bring herself to set a hand towel ablaze on the stove or blow out a wall with a ruptured gas main. The Possibles, of course, subscribed to no pay movie channels, and nothing was on basic cable at the moment that she wanted to watch either, so that let TV right out. Additionally, just as she had suspected last night, and confirmed this morning by rifling Kimmie's room, the cheerleader had nothing remotely interesting or incriminating hidden under her mattress or at the back of her closet.
Well, there was the vault with the blue and white battle suit, but it required a hand scan and a retina check. Shego had spent perhaps an hour simply studying the locking mechanism, but the nerd who built it for Kim had made sure there was no way around it, not after the doofus had managed to swipe the suit and then gotten it stolen by Professor Dementor. So now that she was done ruminating over the locked vault in the back of Kimmie's closet, Shego had the TV on, purely for the sake of noise, and was sitting listlessly on the couch as though her left butt cheek had become a part of it.
"So bleeding bored! Gah!" Bleeding was about as stern a curse as Shego could work up. She knew that it was actually pretty raunchy in Australia and Britain, but since she was raised in the states, it wasn't much to her. That was another thing contributing to her dullness. She was feeling bland.
Sheshona had thus far lost her powers, her verdant skin tone, her eyesight, and her ability to use colorful language. So she was basically just…
"I'm a freaking member of the Possible clan, aren't I?" She sighed and sat back into the couch, becoming even more an expression of it rather than a person sitting astride it.
It was only then, after sitting astride the couch for the better part of an hour, that Shego noticed the book shelves in the home-office. She arched a brow and stood up, wandering over to scan the titles, expecting to find bland technical journals belonging to the Possible parents.
"Hmmm, let's see here…" Shego blinked in outright shock as her finger tip settled on a spine at random. "Pearl? As in…?"
She pulled the worn tome off the shelf and looked at the dusty inside of the jacket. Then she cursed her diminished faculties and pulled her glasses out of her shirt pocket. "Thank goodness for Lens Smither's glasses in about an hour. Now, is this what I think it is?"
She grinned and suddenly obtained new-found respect for one of Kim's parents. Taking the biography of Janice Joplin and her troubles, she settled back into the couch in another languid position and turned to the first page. It had been a long, long time since Sheshona had actually sat down and read anything longer than a Villains Monthly magazine article; and she relished the chance to renew the hobby in this tragic tale of a musical bad girl.
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Drakken giggled gleefully. His "Relaxation Extreme" shower gel was working like a charm in its first major field test. Shego had been right, although the mad doctor would not admit it. The key had been in removing the bubblegum scent from the stuff.
Truly though, his master stroke had been in delivering it to the Middleton headquarters of a certain super-secret law enforcement agency. Government Agencies loved freebies, since their budgets were so closely monitored these days… so a few crates of free hygiene products that were 'factory seconds' and 'off label', including the aforementioned body-wash, were gladly accepted and distributed without a second thought.
Now, he was watching the fun and chaos ensue.
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Wade pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger and sighed. Something as really not right with Kim's last brain scan, the one he had snuck while they were scanning Shego the day before. Several of her hormone levels were off slightly and her frontal lobe activity was elevated. It was absolutely nothing to indicate she was under mind control of any kind, but it was also not normal. Maybe if he called Kim's mom, she was the brain expert after all.
He was about to when his terminal beeped and he was face to face with Dr. Betty Director. If she was calling him in person, rather than routing through the normal channels, something major must be up.
"Mr Loade. Thank Goodness. Something unprecedented is happening here at Global Justice… I desperately need your assistance to- William Du! Get down from that all-terrain insurgency vehicle this instant!"
Wade winced at the sharp interruption, and tried to figure out what was going on to have Betty Director running off and yelling at her top agent as though he were a.. "…oh no…"
Dr. Director returned to the comm a moment later and shook her head. As she did so, Wade caught a glance at her hair; there were a few streaks of color in it. Thankfully they weren't blonde at least, but they didn't seem to be her normal color either. "Doctor Director… Ma'am, Do you, by chance, dye your hair?"
"Mister Loade. I hardly think that this is the time to be asking about my personal products. Why do you as- William! Put that Stop Watch down before you- Excuse me a moment please Mister Loade."
Wade could only watch her step away again, and shudder. While he waited, he started putting together more questions, and the order he wanted to ask them in. He could only hope that Betty Director's vanity wasn't sucking her into this madness as well. If it was, what form that madness might take.
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So far Ron had narrowly averted three disasters. Apparently Drak-co products were on sale at Smarty-Mart, and he'd only narrowly prevented Brick Flagg from using something called "Relaxation Extreme" shower gel. After that, He'd found two girls trading packages of "Dr. D's Miracle Bath Salts" and "Natural Gleam" hair dye. He clapped his hand over his face and groaned softly, wondering from what direction the next assault would come. He had Monique searching the girl's showers, bathrooms, and lockers for the stuff, and he just hoped no one had actually used any of it yet.
He was about to move on to his next class when he heard gasps and whispers echoing down the hallways. Earlier this morning, those gasps, he knew, had been following the newly platinum Kim… He only hoped that was still the case; even though his high-school instincts told him that his hopes were in vain. Turning to face the direction of the rumblings, Ron's jaw hit the floor, and his blood-flow was drastically redirected away from his brain to parts unknown.
Woozy and befuddled as he suddenly found himself, he didn't immediately recognize the vision in red silk walking directly towards him. No one else in the halls did either. This was not a Middleton high student. If she had been, she would have instantly knocked Bonnie from her perch as "most spanking body" on the cheer squad. The young woman was a Venus carved in stone, every toned muscle in her body clearly visible as she walked, or more accurately, prowled down the corridor.
Ron was not in a position to appreciate or comprehend it, given the absence of any brain power at the moment; but the way the Asian Goddess moved made it abundantly clear that her sculpted muscles, feminine though they were, were all business. Six foot tall football line-backers actually stumbled to get out of her way as she proceeded towards the awe-struck blonde. One big burly, who wasn't looking at her and hence was unaware that she was the source of the disturbance, felt a honey-colored hand placed between his shoulder blades.
"Hey, watch where you're-"
"Out of my way bakayarou." The small woman, her obsidian hair bound ornately in a knot atop her head, threw the defensive end across fifteen feet of hallway and into a water fountain with one motion of her left hand. Clad in a form fitting and traditional Chinese style red silk dress that bespoke fragility and delicacy her honey colored skin seeming soft and graceful; the deceptively powerful woman continued stalking towards her target.
Yori finally arrived at Ron's side next to the bank of lockers and seemed to melt against him, her sinuous and sculpted body suddenly becoming an expression of liquid as she pressed her hands lightly to his chest and laid her head on his shoulder. Her lithe frame formed to his hips and one leg rose and curled around his in a display that made even Bonnie Rockwaller, who was just coming out of the girl's bathroom, blush in shock at the display of raw sensuality.
"I missed you Ron-kun… You've been away so long and I just couldn't stand the thought that you were on the other side of the world…" Onyx eyes, so black that they now seemed bottomless, batted at him; her face so close to Ron's that her lashes actually tickled his chin.
"Ah… bu… huh…" was all Ron could muster in response.
He hadn't actually moved in the last thirty seconds, and he was still staring at the spot some forty feet further down the corridor where he had caught his first glimpse of the ninja goddess, his mouth moving soundlessly as it asked for further instructions from his absent mind. The obvious disconnect between his body and his brain made him completely unaware that Mr. Barkin had come out of his class to resolve the commotion.
Yori, however, did notice the large man, and knew instinctively that his intention was to interrupt her reunion with her hero and personal savior. One hand moved from Ron's chest and slid to her hair. In a movement too quick to be detected by the human eye, one of the ornately decorated hair sticks that was holding her onyx coif in place was drawn out and flung down the corridor at the intimidating teacher.
"Stoppable! You know the rules about Public Displays of Affect- Cheese and Rice!"
The resounding thunk of a solid steel spike that had been disguised as a lacquered hair stick was the cause of Barkin's near-profanity. It was also the item pinning the two hundred and fifty pound man to the doorway by his collar, having avoided his throat by a fraction of an inch.
The ninja assassin had not otherwise moved from half-nuzzeling Ron's neck and was still purring soft words of longing at him, her sculpted leg caressing up and down his, when Monique and Kim came around the opposite corner to go into Barkin's class.
Kim's instincts kicked in and she immediately moved to get Barkin unpinned from the doorway and ask him what was going on. It took her thirty seconds of pulling to yank the stiletto-like hair stick out of the wood it was solidly embedded in. By the time she looked down the hallway towards whatever had been the source of the projectile, there was a vacant spot surrounded by dumbfounded students.
"Mo… who was that?" Shim blinked confusedly, suddenly on edge as she looked around for whoever had flung the deadly spike.
"I don't know girlfriend… but it almost looked like Ron… With some geisha hanging off of him." She shook her head softly and scratched her temple, because there was absolutely no sign of whoever had been standing there a moment before.
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It took a full two minutes for Ron's brain to reconnect with his body. It started with the sense of touch. Something arm, firm, and inviting was pressing entirely along one side of his body. Also… his boxers were feeling very tight suddenly. Not an entirely unpleasant tightness, but it was starting to get uncomfortable, and he didn't care to think how it would feel if he couldn't adjust himself soon.
Next his hearing came back to his consciousness. He could hear soft breathing, and it wasn't his own. Then there was the soft shifting of cotton on silk. He couldn't hear the normal hallway and between-class sounds.
Smell drifted back at about the same time… A very relaxing scent, delicate and feminine, wafted to his nose. "Mmmmmmm Jasmine."
That tickled something in the back of Ron's brain. 'wait a minute… this morning… at the house…'
Sight, and probably taste, finally returned to Ron. He was definitely not in the hallway any more. He was lying on the ground outside the school, and when he looked down his vision was filled with a half-disheveled, obsidian-colored hair style. The coif moved and turned, and Ron stared into liquid eyes that seemed odd somehow.
It took him a moment to realize that eyes that should be a familiar coffee brown had actually turned to black. He could only just make out the difference between the iris and the pupil of each eye, because they were just that dark. Mentally, he panned out a little bit to take in the full face. Or he would have, had his mouth not been seized at that moment in a rather impassioned kiss.
'yup, sense of taste definitely back. mmmmmmmm... hey wait a –!'
Ron pushed the woman off of him, and this time succeeded in making his eyes take in the entire face. "Yori-san?! What the heck are you-? Why are we-? I thought you didn't-!"
Yori again tried to seize Ron's lips with her own, purring softly and grinding her muscular body along his very suggestively, and that was making it more difficult for Ron to concentrate on getting out well formed questions. "I missed you Ron-kun… Please, it will be my honor to show you just how much, and with what parts the most…"
"Yori!" A hand on Ron's lap brought everything in to crystal clarity for the sidekick, and he looked at her altered eyes again. "HEY, no touchy my monkey!" Sighing and trying to ignore the treacherous part of his brain that insisted he not do anything to interrupt what was happening, he wriggled free, "Oh man… Drakken got to you too! Darn it! What was it this time? Makeup, skin scrubs? Feminine hygene products? Ewww by the way."
Yori pouted as he squirmed out from beneath her and pushed her hand away from his lap. She sat up, straightening the silk of her dress, and sighing heavily, still trying to reach out for him. "That doragon fujo has twisted you against me, hasn't she?" Her voice suddenly hardened, and it frightened Ron. "I shall show her the error of her ways and the necessity that she find another to spend her twisted affections on, Ron-sama."
Ron rested his hands firmly on her shoulders, and stared into her darksome eyes. "Yori… listen to the Ronster. This isn't you, okay? Doctor Drakken did something to your brain. He's got you acting like a… oh… what word is it? Oh, yeah, an uwakionna. This is not my Yori!"
"But Ron-kun, I am only a uwakionna for you…." She purred very suggestively and leaned in once more, resting her hands on his shoulders, toying with his collar.
Ron couldn't believe that Yori had just said that… whatever that was. He suddenly wished he had his Japanese dictionary with him. As he pushed her back yet again, earning another petulant pout, Rufus awoke and scurried out of Ron's pocket. He ran up Yori's bare arm and started examining her, peeling open one eye widely, staring into it, sniffing at her, and tapping his chin.
"Rufus-chan! That tickles, please, stop it so that I may pledge my undying love for Ronald-sama!" She giggled as Rufus scurried down her dress and tugged off one of her zori, sniffing at her foot.
"Ron! Here! Lookee lookee!" Rufus started pointing at Yori's feet excitedly and chirring at his discovery, because he could actually smell Drakken's product on her. He jumped up and down and excitedly made rubbing motions on his own hind paw.
"Ron-kun… my feet are so… unwomanly… please, allow me to bind them for you!"
"What?! Yori No!" His eyes widened as she actually volunteered for the barbaric practice of deforming her feet, and he shook her more firmly by the shoulders to try to snap her out of it. "Yori! What's the matter with you? You're not acting like the good ninja you are!"
"This is me, Ron…" She purred, leaned up against him, again fluttering her eyelashes at him and nuzzeling his neck. "I feel so much more free… so uninhibited now! Everything is so clear to me!"
If Ron's Japanese was stronger, he might have recognized that she was getting worse, now even dropping the honorifics from his name as she again tried to snake her clawed fingers towards his lap. As it was, his treacherous mind again tried to convince him to let her leave her hand there, because it felt so good. That deviant little section of brain even went so far as to tell him that this was something Kim didn't do for him, and definitely something that he should consider letting Yori do if Kim wouldn't.
Finally his higher self won out and Ron again gently removed her hand from his lap, just in time to stop her dangerously pointed nails from unfastening his fly. "Yori… okay, I know you're not feeling quite normal right now, right? So listen. We'll take you over to Wade's, and see if we can't fix you, okay? Get you back to your old self."
Yori's pout tore at his heart the same way Kim's PDP did. Thankfully, Yori didn't have it down quite yet, so the effect wasn't as catastrophic on him. Still, Ron knew he needed to convince her to come along peacefully, as part of his mind recalled where her missing hair stick was, namely, embedded in a door back inside the school. She was obviously a bit judgment impaired at the moment.
"Look! I know! Um… I like the old you, Yori! Right? The girl I met in Yamanouchi? So if you come with me to Wade, we can make you more perfect for me, huh?"
The ninja, her impulses twisted and magnified by Drakken's product, thought that anything that would make Ron love her the way he loved that dragon woman was an excellent thing indeed. So she nodded rapidly and smiled a particularly large smile, standing with him. "Then perhaps we can…"
Ron grabbed her hand as he saw it again moving towards his crotch, and decided he needed to change into some looser fitting pants, because her repeated touching was having a very profound physical effect on that part of him. "Ahem… yeah… we'll see."
Part of him actually did want to see.
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Kim was really beginning to learn the limits of her mind control powers. Apparently, compelling people to answer questions wasn't the same as compelling intelligent answers from them. So far she had interviewed six people about what they had seen, three boys, and three girls. The boys could only, it seemed, remember a body. And usually only one or two apects of that body. She gave up questioning boys after Jimmy Flagg, Brick's little brother, got stuck in a loop about how tight the mysterious woman's backside was.
Unfortunately the girls weren't much better in answering her questions. Bonnie seemed obsessed with how "that dorkus maximus" had earned the attentions of a grown woman, who was, in her opinion, "dry humping him in the middle of the freaking hall!"
Monique, who Kim had yet to confess her mind-control powers to, wasn't much better. She was obsessed with the woman's spankin' geisha-ware and was hell-bent on crafting something similar for herself, right after she hit the gym, that is.
Sighing, she called Wade, who started tracking Ron's 'chip' and was going to call her when he found her partner and boyfriend. That dealt with, Kim turned her mind to her other problem, Shego.
She was beginning to feel a little conflicted about the villainess, she realized. Now that her mindless anger over the theft of Pandaroo was spent, she was recognizing that it was symptomatic of her wavering opinion of the older woman. It felt different this time, though… Different from the time a few months back when Shego had been transformed into Miss Go, the substitute teacher. As she walked by a little boutique store on her way home, she looked into the window and smiled broadly at an impulse. A few minutes later she walked out of the store with a small pink sack that read "There to Care" on the side.
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Doragon fujo Dragon Woman or Dragon Sorceress
Uwakionna slut
Zori traditional Japanese sandals
