A Different Perspective
by Book of Changes
Rating: M for Language
Main Cast: Kakashi, Iruka, Naruto
Summary: (AU) Kakashi prepared himself for the worst when he was saddled with the Kyuubi no gaki, a.k.a. Naruto. He did not, however, expect this.
Disclaimer: This story is based on situations and characters created and owned by Masashi Kishimoto, and various publishers including but not limited to TV Tokyo.
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Legacy of a Legend II
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The main entrance to Niiminjin City was only a thirty minute civilian walk away from Konoha. The entrance was nothing grandiose, just a lonely one-story building hidden beneath a forest of ancient pines. The only thing worth mentioning inside the entrance building was the elevator that took them five levels beneath the surface, and even that didn't look all that impressive. The elevator ride, too, was as disappointing and colorless as the building.
Niiminjin City, however, was decidedly not so.
To start with, it had a domed ceiling that had a moving semblance of a blue sky shifting just beneath its surface. The city itself was shaped like a bowl made from six separate pieces, the middle piece being a tall white citadel surrounded by a lake. A great multitude of lights and mirrors illuminated the entire place, but the atmosphere didn't have the dirty yellow tinge of artificial light. Most of the buildings within the city resembled old, rusting relicts from the industrial era, but they were often surrounded by blooming plant life and running channels of water. Some buildings broke several laws of physics while they were at it.
Oh yes, Kakashi thought as he studied the place with his Sharingan, this is definitely an interesting city.
Before they set off, Naruto changed into local apparel. Once again, Naruto blasted all expectations and showed that he could, in fact, dress for the occasion if given the opportunity: he came out wearing black heavy-duty boots strapped with silver buckles, black pants, a crimson colored T-shirt, and numerous jingling bracelets that covered the entire length of both his forearms as a finishing touch. The general impression of this not-in-orange Naruto was, as Sakura put it, 'I hate myself for thinking he looked cool, even for a split second.'
Once Team Kakashi stopped gawking at Naruto, they followed the rest of the group outside.
"We're going to take a round-about route," Naruto told them as they trotted through the dingy streets. "The quickest way to D-district is going through M-district, but we don't want to go there. We'll cut through B-district, walk around the great lake, and enter D-district through the western end."
What Naruto just said didn't make a whole lot of sense to the non-Niiminjin folk, but they didn't ask any questions, drawing their own conclusions from 'we don't want to go there.' Kakashi, however, was not one to make baseless assumptions.
So he asked: "Why do we not want to go through M-district?"
Naruto chewed over the question. It looked like he was trying to find the best way to describe the answer.
"Did you notice the wacky place where the buildings don't make any sense?"
Kakashi nodded.
"That's the M-district," Naruto gave him a hooded look. "Do you want to go to a place where logic flies out the window?"
Kakashi thought about it. "No," he eventually replied.
The trek to D-district progressed without trouble. B-district was a nice place, to use the term loosely. The walk around the great lake generated a lot of excited squeals from the girls, especially Sakura, who wanted to know everything about the citadel. Lee was only too happy to tell her everything he knew. From Lee's enthusiastic explanations, Kakashi learned the citadel was actually some sacred tower of neutrality, where anyone could enter and express their religious/political beliefs (he also gathered from Naruto's cynical look that the ideology wasn't practiced to its fullest potential). During their walk, they encountered many strange looking people; not the 'they must have a kekei genkai' kind of strange, but the 'they look very, very foreign' kind. Those same people stared at the ensemble of shinobi with varying degrees of curiosity and wariness. No one looked twice at Naruto though. Apparently they thought he was a local guiding them.
After their long trek around the lake, Naruto lead them towards an area that was far rougher and seedier than B-district. Here, no wall or street was spared from graffiti. The streets themselves were full of hostile pedestrians, sinister looking street performers, dodgy minstrels, belligerent street artists, and beggars of all description.
"Welcome to D-district Harlem," said Naruto cheerfully, "Home of the Pagans, Atheists, worst artists and best singers."
Silence…
"This…is Harlem," Sasuke said slowly.
Naruto nodded, full of smiles and bloody cheerfulness.
"You came from here?" asked Sakura, looking adorably torn between disgust and outrage.
"Not 'here' here, no."
"Is the entire Harlem like this?" Gai asked, looking more alarmed by the minute.
"Again, no," said Naruto. "Harlem's big. If you walk two blocks due north, you'll find a place so hideously clean, you can't even breathe. If you walk three blocks due east, you'll find hippy corner; there's enough smoke and incense there to put you on high just walking by." He paused. "Twelve blocks due northwest is where I come from; it looks like Konoha half submerged in water. If I remember correctly, Fuzzy Brow's 'hood is twenty-two blocks due north northwest, and the place has its own animal kingdom."
"Quite a diverse neighborhood, I see," Kakashi said, shaping his original thought 'this neighborhood is seriously weird' with more diplomacy.
Naruto nodded again. Then he walked straight into the most disreputable street in sight. Everyone followed, with the exception of Lee, very reluctantly.
Despite their initial misgivings, the fifteen minute walk into Harlem proved to be very interesting. For one thing, almost everything Naruto said about the D-district Harlem turned out to be true: there was indeed a neighborhood so unnaturally clean, it was painful just looking at it. There were pagans, too— almost every nook and cranny had shrines, and a small crowd of people paying their respects. Atheists were also present (some fanatics were burning down one of the aforementioned shrines shouting: 'there is no God!'), as well as bad artists (even Kakashi could draw better than the scribbles one street vendor was selling). They didn't meet any of the good singers Naruto mentioned, though, and that was a shame.
Naruto finally stopped in front of a large, bustling plaza with a small amphitheater in the middle.
"Have you been here, Saito-san?"
Saito-san looked at the row of shops. "This looks very familiar," he said. Then his glance stopped at the artificial lake right next to the plaza. "Yes, I passed through the promenade by that lake! That is where I found I'd been robbed!"
"Yosh!" said Gai, happy to be in familiar territory at last. "We shall start our search here! Kakashi! Do you have our maps?"
Kakashi pulled out the maps, and handed them to the Genin.
"We'll search in teams of two," said Kakashi. "Naruto, you go with Lee. Sasuke, go with Neji. Sakura, go with TenTen. Pay attention to the pawn shops. We'll communicate by radio. The frequency is 193. Alert the rest of us if you find anything."
"Hai!"
"Do not go too far!" Gai shouted. "And do not offend the locals! Behave like the worthy shinobi of Konoha that you are! That is all! NOW GO FORTH WITH THE SPIRIT OF YOUTH!"
The Genin dispersed. Except for Naruto; he didn't move.
Lee, who'd been running full-speed with eyes burning fire and determination, backtracked when he realized his partner wasn't following him.
"What are you doing, Naruto-kun? Youth awaits no man!" cried Lee.
Naruto gave Lee a look of fond exasperation. "Got your sensei's youth theme down to yer bones, dontcha?"
Lee took Naruto by the arm and started dragging. "Come on, Naruto-kun! If we don't hurry, we'll return empty handed and lose face!"
Of course, Naruto refused to be dragged. "Okay! Okay! Keep yer pants on! Geez!" he detached himself from Lee's grip. "I wasn't slacking off! I was just going to call for some local aid before we left!"
Kakashi watched the two more intently as Lee's mind became a big question mark.
"Local aid?" repeated Lee blankly.
Naruto reached into his cloak and pulled out the smallest mobile phone Kakashi had ever seen. "I know a few kids from the 'hood who know all the pawn shops in this area like the back of their hands," he explained. "If anyone can find where Saito-san's stuff is, it's them."
Comprehension dawned on Lee's face. "I see. So you were going to gather more information."
"Something like that," said Naruto. Then he started talking to the phone.
"Juumonji? Yeah, it's me. Haha, no, I didn't quit. Sorry to disappoint. Now listen, I've got a client who's lookin' for his stolen stuff. Can you do me a favor and send a few kids to the amphitheater? Yeah, that one. Thanks! I owe you!"
He hung up. "They'll be here in ten minutes."
And come they did. In less than five minutes, a veritable swarm of street Arabs riding bicycles and scooters gathered around the amphitheater. Once they spotted Naruto, they yipped and howled their greetings like a confederation of wolverines. Then three boys, older and taller than the rest, stepped towards Naruto.
"Got'em all here Boss," said one of three boys. He had gleaming blond hair and a cross mark on his cheek.
Fuck me sideways, Kakashi thought dazedly, my student is the boss of a mafia's kiddie division.
Naruto gave the other blond boy the same look of fond exasperation he gave Lee earlier. "Juumonji, I asked for a few, not the whole fecking gang."
"Wasn't my idea, Boss," said Juumonji. "I did call only 'a few'. The rest just showed up on their own."
Naruto rolled his eyes. "Yeah sure, if you say so. Now would you mind not calling me 'Boss'? That's your title."
"Sorry. No can do." Juumonji was smirking. "Good to see you again, Boss."
Naruto grinned. "Good to see you too. Now c'mere!"
They hugged— a bit too affectionately for Kakashi's surprisingly conservative mind. Said surprisingly conservative mind blanked out when Naruto and Juumonji started nuzzling each other's faces, before they kissed each other's either cheek. They're acting like a pair of gay puppies! Kakashi's brain screamed before it passed out.
Kakashi came around just in time to see Gai do the back-staggering with crashing-waves backdrop only he was capable of doing. Kakashi was almost afraid to see what caused it, but horrified fascination turned his glance to the probable causers. Then he stared, bug-eyed, as Lee did the hug-nuzzle-kiss thing with Juumonji.
Naruto introduced Lee to the entire gang, down to the last bloody brat. And for every introduction, the kids did the damn hug-nuzzle-kiss thing to each other. Kakashi was aware he could have just looked away, but his glance was totally hijacked from his control. Fuck it all to hell, Kakashi was going to have to tell Iruka about this for therapy. Iruka studied psychological profiling; he probably knew how to do it. Speaking of therapy, Gai was probably going to need it too. But Gai's therapist might institutionalize him/herself afterwards, so it might not be a good idea…
"Oh my eyes," said Gai, "I've never seen such a beautiful display of friendship and affection!"
…Right. He'd forgotten Gai didn't think like normal people.
"I've also come to an important realization," Gai went on. "For a long time I have wondered why Lee craved my embraces. Now I know why! He must have been deprived of it ever since he came to Konoha! What is more, he had no one who understood his need! Ah, if only I'd have known!"
Once again, Gai surprised Kakashi with his perception. If you ignored the abuse of exclamation marks and Caps Lock, his words rang very true; compared to the citizens of Konoha, who had personal space bubbles no one even bothered to breach, the residences of Niiminjin City were an awfully cuddly bunch.
"BUT NO MORE!" roared Gai, lighting his surrounding aura aflame. "I SHALL HUG LEE EVERYDAY! IF I DO NOT, I WILL DO THE FACE RUBBING RITUAL THRICE OVER!"
Now there was an interesting equation: Facing rubbing rituals + Lee + Gai equals scarring mental images.
Kakashi's mind blanked out again before he could quietly go insane.
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Kakashi regained his consciousness sometime later. He didn't particularly want to regain his consciousness, but Gai was shaking his shoulder and it hurt, damn it.
"Kakashi, it's not like you to doze off during a mission!" Gai whispered.
It was easy for him to say. Gai wasn't scarred from— hold that thought. Gai was whispering?!
Kakashi's eye shot open. Gai only whispered when the situation required silence. Required silence was rarely a good thing. What happened?
"Such ethereal beauty of sound," Gai continued to whisper. There were tears glistening in his eyes. "Truly, Harlem is home of the best singers."
…Huh? Bewildered and irritated, Kakashi kicked his senses back into functioning.
Then he heard it: the singing. Though Kakashi was no connoisseur of fine arts, he could tell a good singing voice when he heard one. And, bloody hell, those were good singing voices. If the clichéd metaphor 'gift of the Gods' should be applied to anything, this was one case…
Something kicked at the door to Kakashi's mind. That was when Kakashi started to listen carefully, not to further appreciate the singing, but to discern which voice belonged to whom. The database in his brain produced two names for two of the voices, but the result didn't make any sense. So he crosschecked with his eyes.
Nope, his brain wasn't smoking things. That was Naruto and Lee singing over there.
I give up. I'm too tired to be shocked any more, Kakashi decided.
Meanwhile, Gai was still whispering.
"This mission has been the most insightful and wonderful experience; I have learned more about my student than I had for the past year," A thoughtful pause. "Such experiences must not remain as singular incidents. No! There is something I must do!"
Then Gai straightened up, made the Nice Guy pose, and sent the artificial light of Niiminjin reflecting off of his teeth with an almighty 'Ping'.
"KAKASHI! Though it pains me to do this, I shall cancel our next match on Tuesday! Instead, I shall bring my team to yours, so together we may enjoy the beautiful and youthful voices of our students!"
A long minute of complete silence lapsed. Neither peep nor squeak could be heard from the local flora and fauna. Even the boys stopped singing.
Then Naruto's voice asked: "Is he done?"
Kakashi removed his glance from Gai (who was still stuck in his triumphant pose) and looked at Naruto with something akin to relief.
"Juumonji's boys found the stolen items," Naruto told him. "Right now, they're the first-place prize of a flag football tournament."
Kakashi just nodded. Under different circumstances, he would have found it very funny that their client's stolen possessions ended up as prizes of a tournament. But now, he was too tired.
"The tournament hasn't started yet," Naruto said. "If we hurry, we can register as a team and win them back."
"Is claiming ownership to the prizes a bad idea?" Kakashi asked.
"A very bad idea," Naruto confirmed. "First the football players will attack. Then the audience will lynch."
"…I see," said Kakashi. "Okay. Call everyone back. We have a tournament to win."
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They won, naturally.
Though six out of eight members of the team didn't even know of the game's existence prior to the tournament, they picked up the rules very quickly. Chakra manipulation ability certainly gave them an advantage. And Gai, he defeated whole teams with his speeches alone. By the semifinals, everyone was calling him the Eyebrow King of Green Lycra, whom all loved and despaired.
Konoha's (Youthful) Ninjas would later be remembered as the blackest dark horse to ever appear in the annals of flag football, but that's another story.
Once the stolen goods were won back, Teams Gai and Kakashi escorted Saito-san back to his village. Saito-san returned home a changed man. Never again would he look at green without turning just as green, if not greener.
It was late afternoon when both teams returned to Konoha. Kakashi was privately rejoicing over the end of a very long and tiring day, when Lee spoke his final words:
"Sakura-san, I wasn't able to say this during the mission, but please accept this…my Heart!"
Then Lee blew a kiss at Sakura's direction.
That's fucking IT, Kakashi inwardly snarled, as Sakura's scream rattled the structures of Konoha from one end to another. I can't take it anymore! I need therapy...NOW!!
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TBC
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