Slowly, Sweetly- Chapter 9: Taking a Chance

Disclaimer: The usual.

Note: Missing the preview and notes at the end? Wondering where they went for each chapter? I've opened a Livejournal for previews and notes on my writing. Includes song lyrics and links to where you can listen to them! The link is on my profile page, or you can go to livejournal and look for absofluffiness! I've written my review responses there as well; that way I can thank and respond even to anonymous reviewers!


Watching in the Night

As he usually did lately, Syaoran woke up at around three a.m., when Sakura's sleep was deepest. He could enjoy these moments in which he watched her lying pillowed on one of his biceps, or on his chest, murmuring in her sleep sometimes. He was thrilled when he recognized his name. He loved her eyes; open or closed, they were expressively lovely, and when they were closed he could trace her long lashes with his finger.

Her nearness was like a heady drug, and Syaoran often fought back his desires for her. She liked to sleep in silk nightgowns, and the material clung to her body almost lovingly; he found himself envying the cloth, wishing it was he who touched her so intimately. But he reined himself in. Sakura did not deserve to be seduced due to his desires alone; though he suspected she had a sensual side, he had the lesson of Alia clear in his mind. Alia had responded to his seduction, but afterwards, she had wanted a deeper relationship—and he had selfishly denied her that. Hence the divorce.

But now was not the time for regrets over Alia. Syaoran realized that Alia had been a lesson for him—preparation for loving Sakura, whom he realized wanted to find his way to forever with. He understood that Sakura needed to be courted, to be shown she was loved. And he would rather suffer the torture of wanting her, of trying to hide his desire for her, than to scare her away by making it look like all he wanted was a physical relationship from her.

Hence these nights, in which he watched her. And it was only when she was asleep that Syaoran dared say the words out loud. "I love you, Sakura." Just that: a hoarse whisper heavy with emotion as he stroked her cheek with a finger, or traced a line from her shoulder to the tip of her index finger slowly, to feel her smooth skin.

He was doing that a lot lately: touching her gently while asleep. It was a secret he could keep close to his heart, and he enjoyed being able to watch Sakura to his heart's content. Loving her was a pleasant thing: she could surprise him at every turn, and he didn't feel that burning need he had with Alia. He soon realized that those were two entirely different loves; with Alia it had been ruled by lust and the need to possess, to own. Sakura, though, was another story entirely--a beautiful story whose end he wanted to see as a main character.

The next morning, as she left to go pick up their weekly grocery supplies—shooing him playfully when he offered to join her, Syaoran strummed his old guitar, and, inspired by watching Sakura sleep, he soon finished a melody. He turned to the battered notebook he kept his thoughts in, and soon, he had a new song. He doubted Eriol would want it, but still...and he smiled...it was the first of many songs Sakura would inspire for him. The way she looked as she slept, the things he could never say—he would, as he often did, let a song say it for him.

He reviewed the lyrics, singing them softly. "Last night I watched you sleep; as you lay there, I dropped down to my knees and said a prayer. I leaned over softly to kiss your beautiful face. But I could not cross the ocean of your grace.... 'I love you' can be so hard to say, especially when it's meant in this strong a way. But at this moment while you lie asleep, I am suddenly free and my trembling arms reach out for you as if you could see. Now I'm standing above you, trying so hard not to tell you I love you, and all that I want in this world is you. If you'd only wake up, you'd know it was true." (1)

The soft purr of her motor alerted him that she was home, and he placed the lyric sheet in his private drawer so that he could go out and meet her, help her with her bags. It had been some time since Sakura had quit the Entertainment Network, and Syaoran loved being alone with her at home. He was happy to note that Sakura had become more relaxed around him; ever since the showdown with Yue, she had become less tense, less skittish, and he was grateful.

Her occasional fits of shyness and uncertainty confused him at times, and scared him. What he did not know was that Sakura had given in to her feelings for him. She was enjoying being near him, telling herself that changing their relationship now might not work. But she had decided that she would at least try to let him know how she felt. She was still a little shy; she'd never known this kind of shyness around a man before, but now that she'd gathered her courage, she was determined to let him know he was first in her affections without saying the words.

Little did he know that she woke up before dawn to watch him sleep, reveling in tracing the lines of his face with her eyes, seeing how his lashes kissed his cheeks when he shut his eyes, how his teeth glinted white when he smiled. How could she have been so blind to what a devastatingly handsome man he was?

Because, Sakura wryly answered her own question, I only saw him as a friend and a brother substitute. But she was making up for lost time now as she watched Syaoran sleep, sometimes even daring to touch his body; he slept in boxers, and she would occasionally throw the covers off them to see how the moonlight followed his body's contour. He was not well-built the way Eriol was; he was slender, and lean in muscle. Yet he was beautiful, like a tousle-haired version of Michaelangelo's "David," and she could not help but wonder what it would be like to share her body intimately with him. And she found that the thought thrilled her; as a result Syaoran often caught her smiling and blushing when she watched him.

What she had was that one magical moment when Syaoran was deeply asleep. The darkness in their room was complete, and Sakura felt her heart swell at the chance—and she pressed her lips gently to his own.

He tasted like the mint organic toothpaste he liked to use, and Sakura stroked his cheeks, his hair. She boldly bent to kiss his cheek, his nose, and her lips traveled to his neck and the hollow of his collarbone at the base of his throat. But that was all she dared do. She felt like she could burst from all her emotions, and something hard was in her throat, making it hard to swallow. A tear escaped, but she smiled and brushed it away.

"I love you, Syaoran," she whispered, saying the words she could never say when he was awake.

All Syaoran could see was that she was ambivalent towards him; comfortable one moment, awkward the next. She shot him shy smiles and glances, and at night, he would sometimes catch her watching him sleep when she thought he wasn't awake. He didn't understand it; what was she thinking? And it scared him to consider that she might be wanting out of their marriage. Why else would she act the way she did?

He remembered a dream in which she had kissed him and said she loved him, and he'd tried to fight the fog of sleep to hold her, crush her to his chest and say, I love you too! But the dream quickly faded, and the next morning, she was as she always was: cheerful and sweet.

What he would give to make that dream real!

"Struggling with that?" Sakura asked as she brought Syaoran some tea in his music room. He was working with a song; a melody had come to him but he couldn't get the words just right. Since she had quit the Entertainment Network, Syaoran had urged her to have a small vacation at home before they headed off to Hong Kong. She enjoyed being part of his daily routine, and liked the domesticity they had settled into.

"Yeah." Syaoran grinned and kissed her cheek as thanks when she placed the tea on a small work desk next to the piano. "I want to annoy Eriol," Syaoran said. "But the song has to be viable for on-air use. Lyrics that hit him where it hurts. He started on it already," he waved the lyrics Eriol had given him earlier, "but I want to add to it."

"Ah. Him and Tomoyo-chan. But..." and Sakura suddenly smiled. She had an idea.

Syaoran smiled; she had the look she got when there was a bee in her bonnet. "Spill, Sakura."

"Let me hear the melody then maybe I can help you with the lyrics," she suggested. After all, I think maybe Eriol and I are in the same boat, she thought.

Syaoran played the melody on the piano, and Sakura listened intently, asking he play it twice, which he did. Then she seized the silver fountain pen she'd given him and began to write.

"Please play the melody again," she asked Syaoran. When he did, she then sang it in time with the music, and Syaoran was surprised at the lyrics. Her voice was pleasant, though certainly she would never have a musical career, he was amused to note. But the speed at which she had come up with the lyrics amazed him, and he bent down to read what she had written so that he could arrange it with the notes.

He read, "What do I have to do to let you know that you are the one I love? What I need is someone like you in a life where I am all alone in the world. Once, I was hurt, too scared to trust again. I wished I would never love again. But you, you're so different from all the others I've known. Please, let it be you."

Syaoran glanced at Sakura, who was blushing. "I see you've noticed Eriol's predicament," he said.

Sakura grinned. "I think he'll understand where that's coming from," she said.

"He will, I'm sure of it," Syaoran chuckled.

"I...I also hope someone else understands what's written there," Sakura stammered, and her treacherous cheeks betrayed her by going wine-red. Will he get it?

He shook his head. "Neither of us knows what's going on in Daidouji's mind," he said. Then an idea struck him. "Why don't you ask her?"

"You know I know her better than that. She won't say a word until she's ready—unless I agree to put on one of those X-rated costumes she keeps sketching for me."

"I wouldn't mind," Syaoran said, wiggling his eyebrows and grinning, then he felt his ears burst into flame.

"No, you wouldn't, you pervert," Sakura laughed but she blushed; would she ver have the nerve to wear those for Syaoran? Better yet, would she ever have the opportunity?

She had escaped—for the moment; normally sharp and perceptive, Syaoran had missed her little innuendo. "So...time to hit the kitchen."

"Oh, yeah, my turn to cook," Syaoran said, and he hurried to the kitchen, calling back, "What do you want?"

"Surprise me," Sakura called, and though she could not see it, she knew he was smiling.

"Don't worry. I definitely will," he called back, and he smiled—something he was doing a lot these days. She makes me happy, he thought. Anything with her was worth it—and he was looking forward to being in Hong Kong with her.

Call him an optimist, but Syaoran felt something wonderful would happen in Hong Kong.

As it turned out, he was right.


Discovery

It was their weekly brainstorming session, and Syaoran hid his smile as he handed Eriol a lyric sheet. "I think you'll find the lyrics rather...ahem...suitable," Syaoran said with a straight face. "You'll see that some of your lyrics have been—reworked."

Eriol eyed him suspiciously. "Wish It Would Be You," he read the title out loud, and continued after shooting Syaoran a curious look. Why had Syaoran rewritten that particular lyric set he'd sent over some time ago? "What do I have to do to let you know, that you are the one I love? What I need is someone like you in a life where I am all alone in the world. Once, I was hurt, too scared to trust again. I wished I would never love again. But you, you're so different from all the others I've known. Please, let it be you." (2)

"You had help rewriting this," Eriol said flatly, attempting to ignore the implications of the lyrics Syaoran had given him. "This is not your word choice. It's too gentle, too—wistful."

"I did. Sakura redid that part. Keep reading," Syaoran said, without breaking into a smile. He'd have time to tease Eriol later, he knew.

Sighing, Eriol continued. "What do I have to do to end this insanity, this madness? I swore, never ever again, yet here I am again. What I feel, it won't be stopped, and it can't be hidden when my heart is screaming out your name. But you, you're so different from all the others I've known. Please, let it be you. I want it to be you." (2)

"Definitely you," Eriol sighed. "The words 'madness', 'insanity'—a pleading tone—vintage Syaoran Li," he said. "Was Sakura with you the whole time you wrote this?"

"Yes, she saw my part of the lyrics. Your original lines didn't suit the thing."

And she missed what you were saying? Eriol almost laughed. Then again you missed what she was trying to tell you!

"Don't laugh, Eriol," Syaoran warned, misreading the look on his friend's face. "Sakura and I may be dense but the lyrics you wrote recently, that 'Friend of Mine' and the original of this one...you're finally in love again, aren't you?"

He knows, Eriol thought. Years of hiding it from Syaoran and then he goes and teams up with Sakura—and now they both know. He knew Syaoran would not have put things together by himself. Now he did laugh; would Sakura and Syaoran be able to put their own feelings together?

He bet himself not.

It was a relief for him, knowing Syaoran knew. But—and Eriol smiled—Sakura had helped Syaoran rewrite the lyrics? Then there was a message hidden there somewhere. Sakura could be subtle when she needed to be, and he quickly reread what she had edited.

"Did you read what Sakura wrote, carefully?" Eriol asked.

"Who is she?" Syaoran fired back. He had a suspicion, but he wanted to hear it from Eriol, who was stonily silent. "Fine. I'll say it, you wuss," Syaoran grinned. "You're in love with Daidouji, and have been so for a long time. Why don't you just tell her?"

"Why don't you tell Sakura?" Eriol retorted.

The two friends stood staring at each other, and Eriol stabbed a finger at the lyric sheet. "Read the part Sakura rewrote again. And pay attention, you obtuse oaf."

Syaoran snorted. "She just wrote it after we discussed you and Tomoyo and how you behave around her."

Eriol rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Always, you persist in playing the fool. Would you like to wait until the chance has passed you by?"

"The chance for what?"

"Read the lyrics, you goddamned idiot," Eriol snarled, losing his temper. He did not want to do anything to endanger the trust Tomoyo had in him; Syaoran, on the other hand, had the love of Sakura, and did not realize it. It annoyed and frustrated him.

This is serious, Syaoran realized. Eriol did not curse unless it was absolutely necessary. So he reread the lyrics Sakura had rewritten, wondering what he could have possibly missed since he'd read it so many times before. "What do I have to do to let you know, That you are the one I love? What I need is someone like you in a life where I am all alone in the world. Once, I was hurt, too scared to trust again. I wished I would never love again. But you, you're so different from all the others I've known. Please, let it be you."

"She wrote these thinking of you and Daidouji," Syaoran began, and jumped when Eriol's palm hit the piano top so hard, the keys jangled.

"Read. It. Again!" Eriol gritted his teeth, his frustration making him reckless. How long would Sakura and Syaoran dance around one another, oblivious to their feelings? Perhaps not that oblivious anymore, but still...

Quietly, Syaoran read the lyrics over and over. Eriol waited impatiently. Must I spoonfeed it to this obstinate bull? And then finally, Eriol heard Syaoran gasp.

"Is she...Did she..." He remembered the sweet smiles and glances Sakura had given him as she wrote it, and her strange comment. 'I hope someone else understands what's written here.'

I am an idiot!

"Yes, you obtuse creature," Eriol rolled his eyes, understanding the sudden widening of Syaoran's eyes.

Syaoran clutched the lyric sheet to his chest, a warmth exploding inside him, making him smile.

She loves me.

She loves me.

Sakura loves me! Just as I love her!

When Syaoran whooped over the miracle that was now his, Eriol sighed and plopped on the couch. "Idiot," he said affectionately.

Everything made sense now to Syaoran: her actions, her shyness around him, her change of heart—even her words when they argued over Yue. Everything.

"But I can't tell her how I feel yet, not without scaring her," he said when he calmed down. "She needs time; if she hasn't said it yet then she's not ready, right?"

Eriol sighed, unwilling to undertake the long explanations Syaoran would need to understand why he believed that Sakura was ready, that she was also in love with Syaoran and was probably waiting for him to make the first move. "At least you're ready. What do you intend to do?"

Syaoran grinned. "Court my wife, the old-fashioned way. Don't expect us to return from Hong Kong quickly."

"Whatever you do, let her control the pace of your relationship—although I must say you seem to be letting her do that already." Eriol smiled.

"I am." Syaoran was giddy; Eriol could see it in how he paced the room, smiled, grinned, and chuckled. He'd never seen his friend this way, and it amused him. "Damn it to hell, I love her! And by God, she loves me. Did you hear that, Eriol?"

"I know," Eriol said.

"Are you sure?" Syaoran demanded.

Eriol merely rolled his eyes in response. "No, you caught me. She is passionately in love with me and is going to divorce you the second you get home so she can go haring around after me...Of course I'm sure!"

"And what about you?" Syaoran went back to the original issue. "What will you do with Daidouji?" He fought to hide a smile; he'd already booked the honeymoon suite at the Mandarin for them.

"It doesn't matter." And from his tone, Syaoran knew Eriol didn't want to discuss it.

"Suit yourself. But I—" and Syaoran smiled, "am going to move things along."

"Patience is a viiirrrtttuuueee..." Eriol sang out teasingly, thinking Syaoran meant himself and Sakura.

"Then call me Job," Syaoran bantered as he turned to leave. "See you later!"

Always, he has to have the last word, Eriol thought with a small amount of exasperation and no small amount of amusement. I wonder if Sakura will put up with that?


Happy Campers

Lying in bed together the night before their departure for Hong Kong, Sakura playfully began tickling Syaoran. The tickle fight erupted into a wrestling match, both players laughing and screeching like children. It devolved quickly into a pillow fight which ended only when Sakura landed such a hard hit on Syaoran, the pillow erupted in a snowstorm of stuffing.

Still laughing, Syaoran picked Sakura up and hauled her off to the balcony.

"See the mess you made? Who's gonna clean that, huh?" he pretended to be stern. "Ah, unlucky am I; I shall have to clean this up as my wife is incompetent in the upkeep of the home," he pretended to wail in a mock-Chinese accent.

Sakura laughed as well. "There is something called a vacuum cleaner, silly. And I'll replace the pillow."

"Weh, Buddha, did you hear her? Such wasteful thoughts, ah, woe is me!" Syaoran pretended to kneel and offer obeisance to an invisible ancestor.

"Syaoran," Sakura knelt beside him, "is it okay really for me to meet your family?"

She was nervous, he could tell, and he stopped mocking her. He went back into his bedroom to get a pillow and two thick blankets. He laid one blanket on the floor of the balcony, and urged Sakura to lie down, then he lay beside her and wrapped them in the other blanket.

"And what are we doing? Imitating caterpillars?" Sakura giggled as Syaoran embraced her snugly.

"They will love you. I'm sure of that," Syaoran said.

"The caterpillars? Might not be a good thing," Sakura pretended to misunderstand.

"My family can't help but love you." He smiled. I know I do, he added in his mind.

"Thanks," Sakura said. The late snow of March had stopped and the starlit skies were slowly revealed, as if by an invisible hand.

"I like the stars," Sakura sighed, snuggling closer to Syaoran.

"Me too. Actually, I think they remind me of you."

"Oh, don't be corny," Sakura snorted.

"I mean it," Syaoran insisted. "They're lights in the dark, and they make you believe that everything is going to be all right. That's how you make me feel."

Sakura smiled and touched her nose to his; it was the furthest she'd gone in expressing affection with him. "I associate you with the moon," she said.

"What, round and looney?" Syaoran joked. Sakura playfully pretended to bite his nose.

"No, silly. You were mysterious when I first met you, but you're actually a comforting presence if someone knows how to understand you," she said.

"Thanks, then," Syaoran smiled. They lay in each other's arms for a while, Sakura relishing his nearness. How was it that each moment with him was so sweet, so wonderful to relive, so beautiful? Oh but she wanted to kiss him so much, show him what he meant to her—but no.

"But Sakura," Syaoran began, uncertain of how to begin an awkward discussion, "My family...I—oh..." He shook his head.

It had to be important, Sakura thought; Syaoran was rarely this shy around her. "Don't hold it back. Tell me whatever it is."

"At home—my home—we need to act like husband and wife at home...I may have to be very affectionate with you, and you with me."

Sakura almost laughed. Was that it?" Don't worry, I won't have to act because I am happy with you," she said.

"We do have to get one thing out of the way," and Syaoran blushed.

He was blushing. Ohmygodheissocute, Sakura thought, as she placed one palm on a burning cheek. "And what's that?"

"I—we—have to kiss," he whispered. "So you don't get jumpy or startled when I kiss you at my home."

Her heart leapt; wasn't that what she had just been wishing for? A real kiss, not one stolen while he was asleep? To hide her emotions, she said in what she prayed was an off-hand manner, "Yeah, we might as well practice, ne?"

But she shivered in anticipation. His lips on hers—a kiss initiated by Syaoran was something she'd been fantasizing about in unguarded moments.

Syaoran closed his eyes, as Sakura did the same. He was coming closer; he was going to kiss her—then she noticed he had stopped.

"Sakura?"

"Yes?" Disappointed, she opened her eyes. Had he changed his mind?

"What we're about to do...This will take our relationship elsewhere. We're best friends, I can tell you straight, right? But—I've always wanted to kiss you."

Sakura gasped. Did he just say what he did?

"And I...I would like to see what doors open, how far we can go—together. I won't--I can't do this alone; I want you, and I want to know if you want me as well. This kiss..." and Syaoran kissed her hand as he kept his eyes on hers, "will move our relationship to another level, and eventually," he kept his voice steady though his ears were on fire, "I...I would like to make love with you. When you're ready to...to take that step with me."

Sakura realized he was trying to spare her feelings, and was fighting his own; she knew him too well, and was beginning to understand that—against her fears—he probably cared about her and not just as a friend. She smiled, and nodded, touching his nose with hers. "Yes." She bent her head to conceal her own blush, and her rising excitement. He wants to make love to me!

But then her old demons came back. You don't deserve him. He'll leave you. He doesn't want you.

Syaoran noticed her expression and understood. Gently he raised his left hand and touched his wedding ring to hers, repeating a gesture he had made months ago.

"Do you know that when I proposed to you, I lied?"

Sakura stared at him and saw that he was sincere. Here it comes, Sakura thought numbly. He'll ask to be friends with benefits. Or he'll ask for a divorce after two years. He...

He took a deep breath. "I lied. I don't want to let you go after two years, and if it's all right with you, can we stay married? Especially now—now that you are willing for us to explore our relationship further." The surprise on her face worried him. "Sakura..." He couldn't bring himself to tell her he loved her outright; he was still afraid he would scare her off or pressure her unnecessarily, but he needed to let her know that he would not leave her—not unless she asked him to. "I just want to give this marriage a real try," he said. "Because...well..." He lost his nerve then.

"Can I tell you something first?" Sakura asked.

"Of course," he said.

Sakura took a deep breath. "When I was in the fifth grade, I...I told Yukito that I loved him. Of course it was silly; we were many years apart, but I really felt it at that time."

When she fell silent, Syaoran waited patiently. He raised himself on his side and pillowed Sakura's head on his other arm so she would be closer to him.

"I...he said 'thank you, but the person you'll love most isn't me.' He pointed out that I loved him like my dad, though I didn't, honestly. But he was in love with my brother, and so I realized he was trying to spare my feelings because he loved me as a sister. Since then I always shared stuff with him—he also knew about Emile and Yue before he died. Not Kito, though—that was too painful."

Syaoran stroked her hair and nodded to show he was listening.

"He said..." and Sakura's eyes began to fill with tears—Syaoran would never get used to it; he knew she was a crybaby but it always hurt him to see her cry—and she hiccuped before she continued, "He said he was sure I would find the one I would love the most, and that he--that boy or man--would love me the most too."

She quieted down again, then a tear slid down her cheek. "He...I don't want to think he lied but...Syaoran, you know everything that's happened to me. I don't know if I can still believe that someone can love me the way I love him. But if I never find that someone," and Sakura pleaded in her head, I want it to be you! Tell me you love me! "I—want to stay with you." Dear God that came out wrong, and Sakura began to cry in earnest; how stupid could she be? How did her words come out so wrong--like she was settling for second best in Syaoran? Annoyed with herself, she swiped at her tears. Please say you love me, and if you do I'll be yours forever! she begged Syaoran with her eyes.

Syaoran was hurt by her words, but he refused to show it; he realized she was trying to say that she wanted him, that she loved him too, but her word choice was unfortunate; it seemed like she was settling for him because he was convenient, and that second best was him. Can't you see I love you? he screamed in his mind. But she was crying, and she took first place in his heart. His own feelings could be pushed aside for her sake--especially since he could tell she was very sorry for her words.

"You should keep believing," Syaoran said softly as he brushed her tears away. "Sometimes what you want is right under your nose." Damn it Sakura, don't you see what I'm trying to say? I fucking love you!

You have no idea, Sakura thought as she looked into his dark brown eyes. She loved him so much it hurt her to think of even telling him what she felt, to think that she didn't deserve someone as wonderful as him returning her love. Regardless of Tomoyo's words, Sakura was still haunted by the demons of her past, and it would not be easy to let go of all the bad things that had happened to her.

Even the scraps of Syaoran's love are enough, she thought. Even being his friend—no, his wife—was enough, even if her love might never be returned in the way she wanted. He'd been so badly hurt with Alia, she wouldn't blame him for never opening his heart again to see that she was right there. Being his lover would be enough for her, right?

I'm so selfish, Sakura chided herself. Syaoran is offering to stay with me for the rest of his life! And that's enough! Even if he's just doing it to protect himself from pain—at least I'll be the one to keep him from becoming brokenhearted.

"Syaoran," she said softly. "About what you said...I'd like to try too. And I think we start here," she murmured. Again she closed her eyes, and waited. This time she felt the touch of his lips on hers, featherlight at first.

A kiss. One kiss wouldn't do so much damage, would it? And Sakura was dying to know what it would be like to pretend that Syaoran cared about her in that way.

She had no idea that the kiss would change so much.

Syaoran could feel his emotions waiting to burst free, but he held himself in, and kissed Sakura gently. It was their first kiss together; it felt like a promise of beautiful things to come. He parted her lips gently, and captured her lower lip between his own; she was so soft, so yielding.

Oh God he kisses me as though he loves me, Sakura thought, drowning joyfully in his nearness, in his lips. She raised her hands to his hair, pulling him closer. I wish he really were in love with me!

Dear God, I love her so much! Syaoran thought. How could one simple kiss make him feel so much? He pushed the blanket aside, feeling warm, and he rolled on top of Sakura, deepening the kiss, finally allowing his tongue to touch her lips to ask for entrance, which she freely gave him.

How long they kissed, Sakura could not remember. It was a good thing she was lying down, because her legs had turned into jelly. Who would have guessed Syaoran was such an amazing kisser?

She had no idea it was because he loved her, and he'd let his emotions flow into their kiss. And to her surprise, she felt his desire between her thighs; her eyes flew open. He wants me! And she gave herself up to the pleasure of the kiss again, the kiss that was a promise of more beautiful things to come.

When he finally pulled away, he stroked her cheeks; she was flushed, and so was he.

"Wow," was all Sakura could say as she raised her hand and stroked his cheek. "Whoa." She smiled. Nobody had ever kissed her that way—not even Yue. She felt like she could have died during the kiss and been happy.

"Wow too," Syaoran smiled, and pulled her close, snuggling his wife to his chest. So this was how it was like to go slowly—it was a sweetness that he wanted more of but which he knew he had to restrain because it got sweeter the longer it lasted.

And he wanted to hear the words from her first. He'd vowed not to force his feelings on her—and it was a promise he would keep. She would dictate the pace of this relationship, wherever it was going.

"So don't be afraid," Syaoran said gently as he stroked her hair. "I promised a lifetime at the altar and even if we started out as a marriage of convenience I think we owe ourselves the chance to make it a real one. Don't you agree?" He held her hands and looked into her eyes. "Take a chance with me, Sakura. We're the best of friends, and I can't do this without you."

Sakura felt something releasing her, making her heart swell. At first she was afraid; this was how everything started with all her exes.

No. That was wrong. None of her previous relationships had started this way, none of them had ever been her friends—and she had never loved any of them the way she did Syaoran—as a friend, foremost, not a lover.

"I trust you," she said softly.

Understanding what she needed to hear, Syaoran said, "I will do my best not to betray that trust. Sakura, we both know nothing is for certain but I think I can say that with you I want to be sure that we're in this together."

"Then," Sakura placed a palm on each of his cheeks and smiled, "we'd better get started on that whole husband and wife thing, ne?" She blushed, and the next words came tumbling out. "And I trust you to help me set the pace—to show me, to...to make love when we're both ready. Not just me. Us. Together."

Syaoran laughed. "With pleasure, sweet wife." They continued to kiss as the snow fell gently beyond the balcony, rediscovering their childhood fantasies of kissing. Neither confessed love that night; it was far too early. But what they both knew was that they had crossed into a new aspect of their relationship, one which they were in no hurry to rush. They would enjoy themselves and see where it was going--together.

0-0-0

Lyric set (1) is from "Last Night" by Leehom Wang. He's not Filipino but Chinese and an Asian superstar. I imagine that if Syaoran sang, he might sound like Leehom (~hanyaan!) as he does now. See my LJ for the links to hear him!

Lyric set (2) is a translation of "Sana Ay Ikaw Na Nga" (Wish It Would Be You) by, again, my fave Basil Valdez. I imagine Eriol would sound like a young Martin Nievera, a Filipino singer. Again, see my LJ for the links to hear him!

In case you missed this note earlier: Missing the preview and notes at the end? Wondering where they went for each chapter? I've opened a Livejournal for previews (ahem--another scene between SxS!) and notes on my writing. Includes song lyrics and links to where you can listen to them! The link is on my profile page under "Homepage", or you can go to livejournal and look for absofluffiness! I've written my review responses there as well; that way I can thank even anonymous reviewers!

Review responses are on my Livejournal (link in my profile)! Thank you to CardcaptorSakura16, DN Angel and Cardcaptor Sakura, ami, butterfly. KISSU, Em-chan, nexa alex, -Kori Kage Tenshi-, DontWakeMeUp, halliwells, Kawaii-ne16, Eliu, Link Fangirl01, butterflyangellover14, pyscho-pyro-shrink, Skei-Fyr, Twilight Kisses, AngelEmCuti, puasloma, X ViixAn3eliic X, aegyo, Adelita P.M., winterkaguya, mystic emeralds, cupid17, lhaine07, michiko14anime, Janec Shannon, KawaiiAmy13, anigal08, teenureen, Julia and Tania, lilmouse1988, Dream of Autumn, polarissakura, redeyes143, Selene Thalia, rondallagurl, ~harmony~, Suyi, xSapphirexRosesxFanx, Unsuspecting Sunday Afternoon, Mrs. Radcliffe 13, Yingfa Dreamer, Cranberry, Emina01*14, Karithinia, Mr X, vreni, Kandygurl4.