Fiction: Fallout 4
Summary: Set just after killing Kellog, Ash rejoins the Brotherhood and embarks on a Vertibird towards the Prydwen. She is given time to rest though it is fleeting, her first true mission for the Brotherhood of Steel awaits her the following morning.
Category: Chapter 9
Disclaimer: I do not lay claim to any of the following work. While the writings themselves are my own, my character is created fully by myself, the other characters and story elements I do not own. I also do not own any of the Fallout 4 elements that are in play. Full credit goes to where it is due. Thank you. Thanks to Bethesda.
So much has happened… This past month has felt like a blur, barely ever stopping to catch my breath as I literally sprinted from one end of the Commonwealth to the other. For days I never stopped, never paused, never halted in my pursuit. I ate only when my stomach begged for nourishment, drank only when my throat felt as dry as a desert. I'm sure I looked horrible, like I had been part of a full head on collision with a semi-truck going sixty down the highway. Granted, no one would ever get that reference here.
It felt like years since I had left Sanctuary with Danse… but it had only been thirty days.
And now I only had more questions than answers.
I slid a hand through my wild hair, slender fingers getting tangled in chaotic knots. I had left the Brotherhood a week after returning with Danse. When I learned that any progress with the radio beacon would be placed on hold until reinforcements arrived from the Capital Wasteland, I requested that I be allowed to leave for a time. With no lead on finding Shaun, I didn't see the point in staying. I had used the excuse that I could provide information on my travels and report back within thirty days, arguing that I wasn't of any use at the Station. Rhys had full heartedly seconded that under his breath. Danse seemed hesitant at first, pausing so long I was worried I would have to wait another two centuries for a response, but he finally agreed, surprising all of us. I had assumed he would completely denounce the idea of me going, arguing that my place was there and duty and blah, blah, blah. But no, he even helped me pack. Granted, the look he gave me when I exited Cambridge's Police Station indicated that he wanted nothing more but for me to stay. "Be safe," he had said. "Come back in one piece," the tone in his voice hinting towards worry, concern, as if he actually cared.
Huh, maybe he did. I wasn't sure, and getting a straight answer from him would be as easy as finding the one undestroyed mattress in all of the Wastes.
My first destination was Diamond City. When I asked Haylen where I could go to find information, she had pointed me in that direction. Preston had as well, long ago before I left them to search south. The trek there was uneventful save a few raider encampments, a handful of surly turrets and robots and the occasional frag mine I had to skirt around. The outer walls were heavily guarded – men wore baseball helmets and umpire uniforms. Turns out that Diamond City is actually located at Fenway Park, a place I had been to many times 200 years ago. Hell, it looked very different now but I could still point out places I had sat, the spot I first met Nate at…
The city itself was bustling with people. Lights hung on every stall and stand, traders were thrusting their goods out to passersby, and a particular robot had been extremely insisted that I purchase a noodle bowl. I mean, I did and it tasted great, but wow was that a new one.
"Nani ni shimasu ka?"
I had been roped into purchasing a house there too – a little cement building located behind Home Plate where I assumed all the bats, baseballs, uniforms, and equipment had once been stored. I figured that, as long as I was going to be stuck there for a while, I may as well set up shop, so to speak. I spent my mornings and early afternoons roaming the streets, asking anyone and everyone if they had seen my little Shaun, peppering people with questions. My evenings and nights were filled with making repairs on my home, creating furniture, grabbing a few seconds of shut eye. I couldn't sleep, not really. Nightmares plagued my dreams and I expended the majority of the nighttime hours tossing and turning.
After four or five days, I finally got a hit. A woman told me that her manager was a detective and that he may be able to help me locate a missing person, or at the minimalist level, get word out about Shaun. Problem was, he had gone missing and she had very few clues on his location.
I'll skip the boring details but it took me a while.
My search led me to Vault where I met up with a synth named Nick Valentine. My time with the Brotherhood made me cautious of the man but I knew I couldn't be picky if I wanted to locate my son. Synth or not, this man was my only option… I couldn't quibble about his race, species, whatever.
Once we returned to Diamond City, we had an interview, and he went over all of the information I could possibly offer, Nick pointed me towards a man named Kellog. He matched the description I had given perfectly – bald head, scar, and all. Some time ago, he had been seen with a ten year old boy, going and coming from his house over on the other end of town.
That had been the first time I had paused to wonder at what age my son actually was, that he could have been taken days, weeks, months, or years before I had been released from my cryogenic chamber. Evidence indicated that he was at the very least ten or eleven… but could he be older? Perhaps the reason I wasn't able to get help was because my description had been off, that I had been off by a decade or more.
We raided Kellog's home and used some of his belongings to help Dogmeat sniff down his scent. It led us to Fort Hagen, a shithole of a place along the western border of the map. It was swamped with synths of varying types, armed to the teeth with turrets and automated gun power, and held the very man I wanted to meet.
Kellog.
Our time together was short-lived to the point of absurd. He gave me no answers except that my son had joined the Institute, and that answer was likely a lie. My son would never be a part of that monstrosity of a corporation – he would never condone the stealing of innocent children in the night, of the butchering of unarmed civilians. The mere thought made my stomach churn and twist in my gut.
Needless to say, Kellog was no more. I quite literally ripped him apart, several of my bullets found their new home in his skull and torso. Even now my vision was blurred with red, with nothing pure white hot hatred for the man who stole my child, my very soul, from Nate's dying arms.
If what Kellog said was true, the Institute was going to fucking pay.
Unfortunately, however, we had hit another dead end. Only Kellog knew exactly what happened to Shaun and those secrets were locked away inside his head. With no way to currently access those memories, we were at a road block. Nick informed me that he would look into a few possibilities, that he would contact me once he had a lead.
Which, I suppose, leads me back to where I now stood, staring up at Cambridge Police Station.
I had been near town, unsure of what my next step should be when the sky was suddenly filled with giant flying…. Helicopters? See, the problem here is that they didn't look like helicopters, they were formed incorrectly but looked very similar… but seeing as I didn't have a better word for them, helicopters they were going to be. Accompanying them was a massive airship, its flight a bit lazier than its companions'. Not long after, Danse's voice crackled to life over my PipBoy, calling all Brotherhood of Steel soldiers back.
I guess that included me.
If those ships meant reinforcements were here though, then maybe their radio beacon was up and running, maybe they had more resources… and maybe, just maybe, I would get closer to finding Shaun.
I took the steps two at a time, booted feet quietly thudding against the pavement. There were more people here than I was used to seeing. Most of them wore power armor of varying levels, laser rifles and pistols pointed outwards, a way over the top show of defense for Cambridge – the biggest threat we ever faced were a few feral ghouls looking for a late night snack. A handful of the soldiers bobbed their heads at me in greeting, others gave me wary expressions unsure as to what I was doing here.
Trying to be less suspicious, I gently nudged the doors of the Police Station open, the hinges crying on their rusty nails.
"Look who dragged herself back," Rhys bit out from his position at the counter. Several large slightly damaged boxes rested before him, his body leaned partially over them. "Finally decided to actually do something?" Snarky, harsh, rude… Ah Rhys, never change.
"ASH!" Haylen lunged at me, her arms circling around my shoulders in a warm, heartfelt hug. If I had to be honest, Haylen reminded me a lot of my own sister. She had been older than me, protective, and nurturing. Course, I was older than her now…. By a lot. But that wasn't the point. "It is SO good to see you again! Rhys missed you too, he won't say so but he did. He had no one to pick on while you were gone."
Rhys huffed, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. "Keep dreaming, Haylen."
I smiled kindly at Haylen. "It's good to be back." And, surprising myself, I meant it. I wasn't sure when it happened, but being with the Brotherhood felt like home, felt right. Nowhere else in the Commonwealth gave me quite the same feeling. I wasn't sure what caused it but-
"Jones!" Danse's shocked voice wavered into the room from the right corridor, his head poking through. Chestnut brown eyes blinked at me, widening by the second. He wore his faded jeans with a graying t-shirt, BOS orange under armor slung over his shoulder. "You're back." Was it just me or did he look relieved, as if a ginormous weight had just been lifted from his shoulders? And was that a hint of a grin? "It's good to have you back." He squinted at me in the slightest, gaze roaming over my body from head to toe, assessing for injuries, wounds, lacerations, bruises, and so on. "Report?" Ah, right, I had left on the premise that I would be doing recon.
"Cleared a few tunnels and back alleys, made some friends in Diamond City, and wiped out a synth patrol west of here. You know, the usual. Being a badass." He didn't need the details, didn't need to know what had brought me to all of those locations. "Heard your orders over the radio and decided to head back."
Danse beamed at that. "Reinforcements are finally here. And you, Jones, can come with me to meet them." It wasn't a demand, wasn't an instruction. This was him asking me, requesting my company.
"And where would that be?"
"On the Prydwen." I arched a brow at him. The what now? "It's the Brotherhood of Steel headquarters. I am certain you saw it, the airship in the sky. She will be stationed at Boston's airport southeast of here."
"So are we just going to levitate our merry way up there?" I was a bit lost on how we would get up to the Pryd-whatever. I doubted it would land, compromising itself in such a way would be a ridiculously stupid tactic for the Brotherhood.
He chuckled. "Ah, I've missed your sarcasm. No, we will take a vertibird."
"Sorry, what?" What the flying fuck was a vertibird?
Danse eyed me as if I had grown a second head, oblivious as to why I was so confused on his terminology. "Swear you didn't hit your head again?"
Haylen leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Those flying contraptions you saw with the Prydwen."
Oh. Those things. The helicopters. Vertibirds. Sure, I could work with that.
"You and Rhys coming with?" I questioned.
"Not right now. We are going to help finish up here, make sure we have everything filed and documented, and then we will come out for a time. But even still, our main base is here. We want to have a good hold on the Commonwealth, everywhere. So, that means we have to man smaller stations like this one."
I bit my bottom lip. She wouldn't be joining me? "I'm going to miss you," I whispered, mortified that I had become so attached to her this quickly.
She pulled me close again, our arms wrapped around each other. "You can come visit whenever you want. And I'll come visit you if you want! You can use your PipBoy to contact me, okay?"
I gave a weak nod as I pulled away. Glancing at Rhys, I added, "I'd hug you, but I don't want cooties."
He flipped me off.
"Ready?" The Paladin asked.
"Yeah, sure. Let's do this."
Danse began leading me towards the stairs that would take us up to the roof. A few unfamiliar faces dotted the stairwells, offering their salutes to Paladin Danse as he passed. It was as we were going up that a realization dawned on me.
"Wait… You mean, I have to go up? In the air?" Even I couldn't hide the terror leaking into my voice.
"That a problem, Jones?"
"Have I ever mentioned I'm deathly afraid of heights?" I squeaked out as the large metal door to the rooftop swung open, the Commonwealth's hot sticky air hitting me in the face and whistling through my hair.
Danse spun around to gawk at me. "You chased a synth down an elevator, almost blew yourself up with a grenade, placed yourself in the middle of a bunch of raiders to save some children, dove into unknown waters, and manned a minigun to kill a power armored raider without hesitation…. But heights? That's where you draw the line?"
"Well, yeah. All of those things let me keep my feet on the ground. It's totally different."
He placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder, giving a soft squeeze, a slow smile overcoming his lips, a glint of a twinkle in his eyes. "You're going to be fine, Jones. I won't let anything happen to you, trust me. Besides, flying is amazing."
I gave an uneasy glance towards the vertibird before focusing back on Danse. "Okay, fine. But if we crash and I die, I'm coming back solely to haunt you."
"Deal."
He led me to the chopper. Seriously, this thing didn't have doors. It was wide open once you got in. No protection from bullets or missiles, and nothing for me to really hang onto. Yeah, Danse, this looked real safe. It was nothing more than some folded and wielded together metal pieces with some propellers on top. This was it… this was how I, Ashtyn Jones, was going to die.
"You grab here, and here," Danse instructed, coaxing my hands to grasp some MacGyver looking handles. "It's going to be alright," he assured me in my ear, just loud enough that I could hear but quiet so no one else could. "I've ridden in these things several times and no one, I repeat NO ONE, has fallen out or gotten crushed or whatever horrible means of death you are visioning in that head of yours."
I gritted my teeth, swallowing my reply. Grabbing the handles firmly, I hefted myself into the vertibird, stomach flattening against the metal floors, legs coming up to join so I could push myself up fully. Quickly I scrambled into one of the seats, hands groping around the sides for a seatbelt. "No harness, Jones."
"What?!" I bit out, finger nails now digging into the semi-soft leather of the armrests, glaring poison daggers up at my commander.
He laughed, full out laughed at my expense. The pilot turned his head around to look, a big grin plastered on his face. Yeah, yuck it up the two of you.
"I'll be right in front of you, okay?" Danse positioned himself, standing, directly ahead of me, arm raised to stable himself with a handlebar above his head. My lips parted, but he cut me off. "I'm not going to fall out." I snapped my mouth shut.
"We ready for takeoff?" the pilot questioned from his seat in the itsy bitty cockpit.
"Whenever you're ready," Danse replied, waving a hand dismissively after the final Paladin entered the vertibird, operating the gun that sat on that side of the craft.
The vertibird groaned, shuddering violently as the pilot geared up the engines. I was sure I paled a few shades, looking more and more like alabaster white by the second. The craft heaved, the propellers starting to whirl away above our heads. Another rough quake… and we were off the roof.
I leaned over in my seat, eyeing the safety of the Police Station as we rose higher into the air. I snapped back into my seat, eyes squeezing shut, knuckles bleaching as my grip stiffened.
I could feel the heated air press past me, any of my hair that wasn't tied back flew wildly around my face. The sun made my skin feel as if it were on fire, the dense smog filled air no longer providing a barrier between me and it. We lurched forward, halting our upwards progression. Faintly I could hear the pilot say something about landing within the hour.
Shit, an hour of this?
A kind hand enclosed around my own. "You really should open your eyes, Jones. You're missing a lot."
I gradually opened one eye to glance up at him. His expression was caring, soft, unguarded. It wasn't hard or demanding like I was used to seeing. It was the same one he had given me when he saw me for the first time in Sanctuary after the events of the Red Rocket Station, the one he had given me when he rushed up to me on the bridge. The one that made my heart flutter nervously and my stomach squeeze. He tilted his head, gesturing for me to look out past the vertibird.
Deliberately moving slowly, I did as he suggested. "You get a better look if you're standing," he added, lightly tugging on the hand he held. "I won't let you fall to your death."
My legs felt wobbly beneath me as I moved to a standing position. I was frightened, muscles tense and rigid with fear, my lips pulled into a thin line, eyes wide with terror. But Danse's arm slid around my waist, holding me against him for support. He glided over in the slightest, placing one of my hands next to his on the handle. His fingers wrapped around the belt I wore, doubling the amount of stability I had.
"There you go. Now open your other eye, and look out there."
The Commonwealth lay bare below us. Destroyed buildings of varying sizes and shapes littered the horizon. I could make out settlements, their lights giving them away from this height. The setting sun in the distance cast golden rays throughout downtown Boston. I could see the river from here, the water glistening and twinkling.
There was some gunfire below but I could see little more than the muzzle flash and hear the bullets as they screamed out of their barrels. From way up here, we were safe, immune almost.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" Danse asked, cocking his head at me.
I peeked up at him, unable to stop the smile from spreading across my face. "Okay, you got me. This is pretty cool. I'm still not a fan of heights though."
He nodded. "That's fair. We can work on that. You'll have to get used to it after all, since the Prydwen will be your base of operations and she is not going to land any time in the foreseeable future." He had a valid point there.
"What's the Prydwen like?" I questioned, gaze moving back towards the Commonwealth.
"Loud. There are a bunch of people there, easily over a hundred. There are several rooms for soldiers, bunks for the squires. A mess hall is in the center of the ship with the bay hanger behind it for power armor. In the back there is a shop if you need any ammo or guns. Usually Proctor Teagan sells a few mods if you're into that type of thing. Let's see… Elder Maxson runs the fleet. You will be meeting him on your arrival. I vouched for your entrance, told him that you are looking for something and have requested our assistance. In trade, you are to fully join the Brotherhood – as was our original deal." I bobbed my head in agreement, allowing him to continue. "In short, the Prydwen is a big metal ship full of men and women who are dedicated to fight for justice… its home."
He sounded so…. So proud. Happy almost. Granted, he had grown up more or less alone, an orphan… Having a sense of purpose and a group of people to call family was probably the closest thing to happy he could get. I couldn't blame him for his devotion to the Brotherhood.
"Can't wait to get there," I replied.
"Me too."
-oOo-
We arrived roughly a half hour later, the sun now nearly fully set. The landing wasn't what I had predicted – jarring, mostly petrifying, as we were literally magnetized to a landing zone. I slid out of the ship, legs trembling below me as my feet touched down on metal grating. Danse joined me, leading me across the catwalks and into the main entrance of the Prydwen.
Keeping his voice hushed he whispered towards me, "Please keep your witty remarks to a minimum when we meet the Elder. I know that goes against everything you stand for but you have to keep some realm of formality when in his present. Please." I gave an enthusiastic thumbs up in response.
I followed him past a few latches and stairwells and into a large glass enclosed room. "Elder Maxson!" Danse greeted warmly, raising a hand in friendly greeting. The man at the end of the bridge turned to welcome us, mimicking Danse's movements.
"Welcome aboard, Paladin Danse. And this must be the recruit you have told me so much about." Maxson was younger than I thought he would be, his face not marred with wrinkles, nor holding that edge of wisdom I was expecting. But even without hearing him speak more than a few sentences, I knew he was firm, independent, a certified leader.
"Ashtyn Jones," I offered, shaking his outstretched hand. "Pleased to meet you, sir." Seriously though, can I get a hot shower and a comfy bed to sleep on?
Even Danse couldn't hide his surprised expression at my ability to be official. Good to know I could still keep him on his toes.
"The pleasure is mine. Danse has made your views of the Brotherhood clear to us and, seeing as the Paladin is one of my most trusted men and respected field officers, I have decided to take him at his word. You couldn't get a better recommendation if you tried." Danse had recommended me? He really had that much confidence in my abilities? Color me shocked. "Therefore, from this moment forwards, I'm granting you rank of Knight. Of course, befitting the title, we are granting you a suit of power armor to protect you on the field of battle. Wear it with pride."
Was I going to get a fancy jewel encrusted sword and shield too? "I am very grateful, sir. I will do my best to live up to the title."
"I'm certain you will. In any event, once you are finished becoming familiar to the Prydwen, and after a night's rest of sleep, report to the flight deck for your first order. Make us proud."
Pretty sure I was going to fuck up one way or another but, what the hell? "I will, sir," I promised, saluting at him the way I had seen the Brotherhood soldiers do so earlier.
"Thank you, sir," Danse intoned, tapping my wrist for me to follow as he exited the deck. Once we were out of ear shot he added, "Didn't think you could sound so professional, Jones."
I smirked. "I like to keep things unpredictable. You going to show me around?"
"I would love to."
It took more or less an hour to tour the Prydwen fully. I charmed my way through a doctor's examination, lying through my teeth about my age, vaccinations, and prewar perfect health profile. I agreed to search for technical documents on my travels and submitted myself to a rather dull history lesson about the Brotherhood of Steel. Haylen taught it better. I viewed the hanger bay and got to try on my own set of power armor, Brotherhood of Steel logo and all. Let's just say I would be content if I never had to get in it again. Closed spaces? Me no like. I met up with Paladin Brandis and got myself a not completely gut churning but also not completely edible meal.
And finally, finally we got to my bunk room.
Which had two beds.
Danse gave me an innocent look, "My bunk is being used by a few other recruits. Until they have new placement, I have been instructed to share the room with you. If this is not to your liking, I can request new-"
"No, it's fine. Don't worry about it." The room itself was bigger than the one back in Sanctuary though smaller than my home in Diamond City. There wasn't much to it aside from two beds, footlockers, and a desk with a terminal on it. A lamp hung overhead, providing the room with as dim of light as possible. My belongings were already here, my bag placed upon what I assumed to be my bed. The room was certainly enough for two people and it would likely only be temporary. I could stomach it until then.
I busied myself with unpacking, trying not to become acutely aware of Danse's presence whenever he skirted past me or accidently bumped into my elbow or hip. He put me on edge, but not in a way that made me feel like I was going to have to dive for cover. I still got an adrenaline rush, still became hyper aware of my surroundings, but not because I was in danger.
Nope, for completely different reasons.
Eventually he took a seat on his bed, back pressed against the headboard. He flipped open a book and made himself comfortable. I couldn't read the cover from here but I was certain it was related to combat or how to be a leader or something along those lines. He didn't strike me as a Steven King or J. K. Rowling fan.
Most of my things were set out – clothes folded and placed in the footlocker at the end of my bed, a few books tucked away at the bed side table, gun and gear propped up by the door on a few hangers. I had long ago taken off my jacket, wearing nothing more than a pair of old cotton shorts and a loose fitting tank. Danse had pointed me towards the showers and I had used them to their fullest. Let me tell you, getting weeks' worth of dirt and grime off of your body is hard work, and it also makes you sad when you realize that the tan you had built up after being in the sun wasn't actually a tan and instead nothing more than dust. Bummer. Still, I was clean. And I smelled good.
I knelt in front of my pack once more, glancing down at the final few belongings that remained inside. One was Nate's marriage band paired with my own. I used to wear mine but was worried raiders would steal it if I was captured. My fingers gently caressed the still glossy finish, a tight lipped smile forming on my full lips. Never again would he wear it. The other object was a picture – the edges faded and torn, matted with debris. Codsworth had given it to me back in Sanctuary after the Minutemen arrived. It was of Shaun, wrapped up in his baby blanket, tucked in my arms. Nate had taken it a few days after we returned home from the hospital. I could still remember the first time Shaun looked up at me, his little baby hands reaching for my face. He looks just like you, Nate had said.
Did he still look like me? Did he still have Nate's eyes and my nose? Was his hair still strawberry blonde? Did he still get dimples in his cheeks when he smiled? Did he still have that clean baby smell I used to love so much?
Was he still a fussy eater? Did he still snore softly in his sleep? Did he still mumble when he was on the verge of waking up?
I didn't know.
I had no idea.
The son in this picture was likely long gone, the boy I remembered holding, loving, caring for so deeply... was probably a stranger now.
All because Kellog took him from me, because the vile man stole my baby. I clutched the picture between my hands, thumb caressing over Shaun's face. I wasn't able to save him back then. And now? Now he was somewhere I couldn't reach, I still couldn't save him. What kind of mother was I?
"Jones, you okay?" Danse's voice ripped me from my own headspace, centering me in reality.
I cleared my throat. "Yep, I'm dandy." I zipped the back shut, sliding it under my bed for safekeeping. I took a seat on the edge of the cot, sinking into the mattress. "Sorry, was lost in thought for a moment."
Danse was quiet for a moment, shutting the book after a few seconds of silence and leaning forward. He moved to the side of his own bed, legs kicking off the side till his feet touched the cool ground. "I know I'm not the best person in the world to talk to, and I probably won't even know how to respond but, if you ever need someone to listen, I'm good at that." His tone was laced with concern, with care, with an endearment I didn't know he could possess. I looked up at him. "I mean, you don't have to but I… Uh, well, you know what I mean." He was staring down at his hands, fingers knotting around themselves.
"Don't say that too loudly or people will think you're going soft," I replied, a hint of sarcasm leaking into my voice.
He glanced up at me then, eyes sincere. "Jones, I'm serious. Really. I'm sure you have been through a lot and, unlike the others, you never talk about it. Having that kind of baggage can really weigh you down after a time… I just wanted you to know that if you ever need someone to talk to that… Uh, well that I would be available."
I was speechless. In all my time in the Commonwealth, no one had been so open about wanting to help me. Most were looking for help themselves, they didn't have time for others. After living through that for days, you begin to feel isolated, alone. The Minutemen had helped soothe that for a while but it hadn't been lasting. I still felt like I was barely holding myself together, that if I let go of one of the strings I was holding, I would crumble apart at the seams. To have someone willingly listen to me, to care enough for me that I could unload all of my stress, doubts, and fears…
I wasn't sure how to handle that… how to respond to it.
"Thank you," I barely managed to whisper out.
"Of course. Okay, right. Well, uh, we should probably get some R&R. Maxson wants us at our best in the morning. Too early to sleep but I'm, uh, I'm going to read." He tilted away from me, the air cooling from his lack of presence. Part of me wanted to lunge forward, to close the distance, for nothing more than to have someone close. It wasn't intimacy I craved, it was something so much simpler than that – companionship. I wanted someone who cared for me, who made it so I didn't feel so alone.
And Danse was willing to provide that.
"What are… What are you going to do?" he asked.
"Explore some more." I was already pulling on an orange jumpsuit, letting the top half fall around my hips and tying the arms to secure it in place. My slender build made it difficult to wear the uniform properly; it felt baggy and clumsy with all the unnecessary fabric.
"Don't get lost."
"Will you find me if I do?"
The tips of his ears turned red. "Of course."
I smiled and ducked out of the room.
I took turns at random, waving at soldiers that saluted on my way past. They all looked so serious though the younger ones managed to crack a smile. Hope I don't turn as sour and boring if I move up the ranks.
Jogging down the steps that led to the lower levels I found myself in the squire quarters. Rows of neat and tidy beds with tucked in sheets lined both walls, a chest at the foot of each. Many of the children paid me no mind as I entered though two in particular swiveled their heads towards me.
"Miss Ash! Miss Ash!"
"Jeremy? Tim?" I stared, surprise coloring my features as the two children I had helped save at the Red Rocket Station ran up to me, small tiny arms wrapping around my waist. "What the heck are you doing here?" I knelt down to their level, doing a once over of each kid for injuries. They looked… good. Their bruises were all but healed, hair clean and combed, uniforms free of dirt and grime.
"We wanted to join! Sanctuary was fun and all but we didn't want to stay there," Tim answered first, the older of the two. His hazel eyes beamed up at me, bright and twinkling.
Jeremy continued, "You and Paladin Danse are so cool! We want to be just like you!"
"Well, if you ask Danse, maybe it's not the best option to be just like me," I replied around a laugh, ruffling Jeremy's strawberry blonde hair with my fingers. "I'm a bit 'unstable'. But what does he know?"
They both smiled.
"How long have you guys been here?" I asked as I sat down on the bed, both of them scrambling up to join me.
"Bout two weeks, haven't started training yet," Jeremy started.
"They needed more Knights to get here first. Then we get to do real missions!" Tim added.
I leaned forward as if I had a secret to tell, "I know a certain someone who just became a Knight."
"Who?" they asked in unison.
I pointed a finger at my chest and gave a playful wink.
"You! Maybe you can teach us!" Jeremy clapped his hands together, cheeks reddening with happiness. "That would be the most greatest thing ever!" Tim nodded furiously in agreement.
"I'm not sure if I'm allowed to but, if so, I'll certainly go for it."
"You just gotta talk to Captain Kells. He runs all of the squire stuff."
"Then, I'll talk to him in the morning. How about that?"
Tim mocked punched the air. "Fighting side by side with Knight Ashtyn, killing ghouls and evil super mutants. We are going to be the best Squires ever! No one else is going to have as good as a trainer than us! Course, they won't let us on the most dangerous missions right away but, if we train real good, then eventually we will! Maybe we can help take down the Institute!"
I frowned in the slightest, giving my head a stern shake. "Maybe not the best idea right away, bud. Those guys are pretty scary and they do some really bad things. I don't want you guys going there."
"But that's what we do, isn't it? Find tech… techan… techno… whatever, find stuff, and help others?" Jeremy questioned, tilting his head to the side, confusion enveloping his face. "The Institute is super bad, means we gotta take them out! Elder Maxson said they are a big threat to the whole wide world."
"Yeah but…" My voice trailed off. Would the Brotherhood put kids on the frontlines? My gut twisted, stomach churned. I certainly hoped not. "You guys have a long way to go. Focus on being certified bad asses first, okay?"
They both saluted, nodding their little heads. "Yes, ma'am!"
Someone by the entrance cleared his throat.
"Elder Maxson," I fumbled, raising my hand a second too late to offer a proper greeting.
"At ease, Knight," the man replied, offering a kind smile to the two kids; both were looking up at him as if they were staring at their biggest idol. Hell, maybe they were. "Do you have a moment to speak?" he asked, attention focusing back on me.
"Yes, sir, of course." I eased myself into a standing position, turning to Jeremy and Tim. "You guys be good, okay?"
"Yes, ma'am," they replied.
"Good. I'm counting on the two of you." I squeezed Jeremy's shoulder affectionately before pivoting towards Maxson. "Lead on, sir."
The Elder escorted me up the stairs and back onto the main level of the ship. The Prydwen's halls were maze-like in their design, the signs only helpful if you were tall enough to read them (spoilers, I wasn't), and within a matter of seconds I was hopelessly lost. But, at least, Maxson knew where he was going. "Ah, here we are," he confirmed, holding open a door for me to step inside.
The room was large and spacious. A small kitchenette was in the right corner, a dining area in the center, and an open bedroom of sorts on the left. Everything was to code, no soft edges. Gray was the main color. A jacket hung over one of the chairs told me who the owner was.
Ah, this was Maxson's personal bunk. Must be nice having so much space.
"I just wanted to steal a small moment of your time to discuss a few things," he started, gesturing for me to take a seat on one of the couches that rested along the back wall. I did as ordered, folding my hands in my lap to prevent myself from fidgeting.
Be formal, I reminded myself.
"Like what, sir?" What did he want to discuss? Did he know something about me? Did Danse? Oh gosh what if-
"Nothing serious," he chuckled, probably sensing the nerves that oozed off of me in droves. "Honest, this isn't some sort of interrogation. I just like to get to know the men and women who serve the Brotherhood. We are all friends here."
Like a big family… Just like Haylen had told me. I couldn't hold back the sigh of relief that escaped past my lips. "Sorry, can't help it. Feels like I'm in the Principal's office or something."
He smiled at that. "Many feel that way. I do my best to ease that tension but sometimes, it can't be helped." He offered me a bottle of Nuka Cola before sinking into the cushion besides me. He still reeked of leader, of higher-up, of Elder… but underneath that, he was calm, at ease, relaxed. How he managed to do both, I was certain I would never ever find out. "So, where are you from?"
"I'm from Sanctuary, up north."
"Ah, Danse tells me the Minutemen have taken over that area."
"Yeah, I met them back in Concord. Kind of helped out a bit, nothing major though."
"That's wonderful. We have been wanting to ally with them for some time, it would help our cause if we had a member that was affiliated with them. Wonderful job, Jones."
I wasn't too certain Preston would like the concept of a bunch of soldiers 'allying' with them… based off his reaction to Danse, I thought I had a pretty fucking good idea of how he would react. Not well. I wasn't sure what the Brotherhood of Steel had done that made others so hesitant towards them… "Right now they are focusing on helping settlers find a new home. But maybe in the future they wouldn't mind." Lies, all lies. Preston would question my sanity if I even hinted at it but Maxson didn't need to know the gritty details.
"Excellent. So, have you been a settler too then? What did you do before Danse agreed to sponsor you?"
Oh, you know, went to law school, got my degree, found myself a man and settled down. Then my house was bombed and I was frozen like an ice cube for 200 years. "Yeah. I just kind of showed up at Cambridge when the Paladin was being attacked, offered my assistance. Though, not that I had much aid to give. I'm a terrible shot."
Maxson shook his head. "Not from what I've heard. Danse says you have been improving a lot. Says you're one of our faster recruits, quick at learning."
I blinked in surprise. Again, I hadn't expected that. "Sounds like you and Danse are close."
Maxson grinned. "We are. He is one of my closest friends. I trust the man with my life. You're lucky he's training you. Usually he doesn't give time towards teaching rookies. He must see something in you."
I shrugged a shoulder, averting my gaze. "I can't imagine what it is. I'm glad he speaks highly of me but I'm nothing special."
"Ashtyn, every man and woman on this ship brings something unique to the team. You're no exception to that. Don't doubt yourself. You are just as worthy of a Knight as any other." The way he said that, with such conviction, I almost believed him. Almost.
"Thank you, sir."
"No need to thank me, Knight, I only speak the truth." He paused for a moment, drinking a gulp of Cola before speaking once more, "Danse spoke of a deal the two of you made. My understanding is that we are to help you locate something?"
I tensed. "Yes, but really all I need is access to your radio system. I can do it on my own."
"I'll grant you access, it is the least I can do. You've done so much for the Brotherhood already – without you, I'm not certain the Paladin, Knight Rhys, or Scribe Haylen would still be with us. I will aid in whatever way I can."
"That is appreciated." Maybe… Maybe these people weren't so bad. Maybe I could trust them… with time.
"Now, I won't keep you. There is work to be done in the morning. They are still serving dinner in the mess if you're hungry but then I suggest you get some sleep. You're going to need it."
I nodded and started for the door. "You have a good night, sir," I said as I opened it.
"You as well, Miss Jones. If you have need of anything, simply ask."
Once in the hall I felt my body visibly relax. Though it had only been a light-hearted meeting, I couldn't help but feel on edge. But… The man had been so kind, so helpful… I had no reason to not trust him.
"Now I just have to get back…" my voice trailed off as I peered down the corridors that flanked me on the left and right. I knew we had come from the left, so I could get that far… but after that? Yeah, my memory was fucking useless.
A bank of signs with directional arrows was secured to the wall far above my head when I arrived at the corner. No amount of squinting at them could make the signs legible. I stood on tip toe but still couldn't get high enough. I craned my neck, pressed my fingertips against the wall to try and hoist myself up a few more inches.
Someone laughed behind me. "Need help?"
I sent an innocent grin over my shoulder. A woman with red hair stood, clad in power armor. At first glance, she looked usual enough – another carbon copy of every other soldier. But… on closer inspection… I realized the reason she wore her armor was because she was a bilateral amputee, her legs were missing below the knee. "I'm Proctor Ingram, I do a lot of the tech and engineer fixes on the Prydwen," she greeted, extending a hand out to me.
"Ashtyn. Knight Jones, whatever you want to call me," I said, taking her hand and giving it a firm shake. "Nice to meet you."
"Likewise. So, where are you trying to go?"
"Back to my bunk. I know it's in Wing B, second floor. But…"
"No clue how to get there?"
"Sums it up, yeah." I bobbed my head in agreement, feeling foolish for my inability to remember my way around the Prydwen. Okay, mom, you were right. Maybe I should have taken a few classes of geography and mapping in college. I was wrong. You win.
She laughed again. "We've all been there. Come on, I'll show you the way."
I trailed after her as she pointed out a few landmarks for me to use next time I came by this way. Bathrooms there, sitting area here, bank of terminals for personal use. "It'll get easier each time you have to go somewhere," she assured, probably trying to ease my personal frustration.
Wanting to move the topic away from me, I asked, "So, what's your story?"
"Wondering about my legs?"
"Well, no. Not necessarily. Just making conversation." I flushed. Yes, yes that was what I was wondering about. To be honest, I had no idea the Brotherhood would let people with disabilities into their ranks. But what Maxson had said… everyone brings something unique.
"Don't worry, everyone asks. It was a freak accident. Left my power armor station on a cliff back at the Capital Wasteland while we were there. The whole thing came down, me with it. Crushed my legs and my armor. But, Danse helped me make this spiffy modified set that lets me walk." She tapped her thigh, proud of her invention. "Took us some time but it was worth it. Ah, here we are. Wwe are back at your bunk room," she pointed to the door panel. "If you ever need me, I'm usually past the mess hall where all the bays of power armor are. Since you're a Knight, you get your own set."
I cringed. "Not sure I like the idea of going in there."
"To each their own. Don't blame ya for not liking it. Either way, you get a set. Come on by tomorrow after your mission and we can see about getting you fitted. I would give you a regulation set but, no offense, you're a bit on the scrawny side. Don't think you would be able to reach all the controls," she offered an apologetic smile.
"Alright. I'll see you then. And, thank you for showing me back. I think I would have ended up at the bottom of the ship if I was left on my own."
She waved her hand as if to dismiss it. "Don't worry. That's what we are here for, helping each other. You know where to find me!"
Once she was out of sight I tiptoed back into my room. The lantern was hooded, the sound of Danse's slow breaths reaching my ears. He was asleep, head resting against the wall, book splayed out on his chest as if he had passed out mid-read. I gingerly retrieved the novel from his grip, eyeing the cover in the process. 'The Lord of the Rings', another shocker to add to the list. "Don't judge a book," I whispered, marking his place with a paperclip and setting it down next to the lamp.
Danse looked… tense, even in sleep. His brow was furrowed, jaw set, muscles taut. "Do you ever get a break?" What did he dream about that made him so frantic, so unable to relax?
Perhaps I wasn't the only one plagued with nightmares.
I pulled his blankets up and over him, wanting to do more but not sure how. There was a line I know I shouldn't cross… but where that line was at, I didn't know. One wrong move… and I would be back at square one.
Crossing to my side of the room, I tucked myself in. Reaching over, I capped the lantern, denying the flickering flame the oxygen it needed to continue. My gaze fell on Danse was more, his hands clenched into tight fists. What are you afraid of? What makes you so restless? You're surrounded by such kind hearted people… But no one seems to know what goes on inside your head.
I rolled over, faced the wall, and closed my eyes.
One day, one day I planned to find out.
