Well everyone, it's the moment y'all have been waiting for. Hope you're ready for some feels and some underaged-first-time-exploring-another-boy's-body experience.
Warnings: Underaged sexual activity
Chapter Nine: Because it's my Birthday
Song: Hey Jude by The Beetles
Mary brought Dean home the Friday before his thirteenth birthday. His cuts were mostly gone, a few more notable ones, like one on his wrist, were covered with a simple bandage and could easily be concealed with his watch. As he sat shotgun in his mom's silver-blue mini van, he wondered how many people knew about what he had done. Castiel had told him that their teachers and peers thought he had a severe cold, a bad case of the flu, pneumonia, something along those lines. As far as they were concerned, he had been home the entire time.
The towering trees passed in smudges of browns and greens and whites, leftover snow lingering on the shaded parts of branch. The road was a salted mess of mush that crunched under the wheels of the vehicle. Dean leaned his head against the window and looked on ahead, eagerly waiting to merge off the highway lanes and find himself back on the back roads he called home. He rubbed his wrist, shame engulfing him. Mary must have noticed out of the corner of her eye because she placed a tender hand on his wound.
"Almost home, Dean."
"How many people know?" he asked with a shaky voice, part of him not wanting to know the answer in fear of humiliation.
"Only me and Gabriel and Castiel. Sammy thinks you've been sick with a major case of the flu." The car turned off the highway and started to roll down a main street. Family owned Mom and Pop stores lined the way, "CLOSED" signs flipping to "OPEN" as the little town finished waking up.
"I'm glad that he didn't visit me. I didn't want him seeing me like that…. I still don't want him seeing me."
"Dean, don't talk like that."
"But, Mom, I-"
"Dean Winchester, don't you ever sell yourself short of anything. Your brother loves you. He doesn't know, and if you want, he never has to." Dean wanted to cry. He knew that his mother would always be looking out for him, protecting him and Sammy. Words never seemed to be enough to thank her.
"Hey, Mom? Why didn't I die?" Mary's breath hitched as she slowed the car to the side of the road. Turning to her son, she put the car in park and pulled him into a hug.
"Because, sweetie. Angels are watching over you. They have something great planned for you in the future and they didn't want you to miss it. They'll always be watching over you, Dean. Always." Dean wrapped his arms around his mother's and let the tears fall from his bloodshot eyes. "Shh. It's okay, baby. It's okay. The angels are watching over you. You're going to be alright." She kissed his tousled hair as they sat there, an isolated car whizzing by them every now and again.
"Hey, Jude. Don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better." Mary's soft voice swept through the mini van in a melodic whisper, they lyrics wrapping Dean in an even tighter embrace. "Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better." Dean brought his arms to his chest, just like he had when John was screaming at him. Mary took hold of one of his hands and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Hey, Jude. Don't be afraid. You were made to go out and get her. The minute you let her under your skin, then you begin to make it better." Sniffling and using the sleeve of his army green jacket to wipe the snot from his freckled nose, he pulled away from Mary and gave her a quivering smile.***
And anytime you feel the pain, hey, Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders. For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool by making his world a little colder.
The car went into drive and merged back onto the road. Dean was headed back to Sammy. Back to Gabriel and Castiel. Dean was headed home. Home was where he needed to be.
Nah, nah, nah, nah nah nah nah, nah nah.
Within ten minutes they were driving along the familiar roads of Dean's school district.
Hey, Jude. Don't let me down. You have found her, now go and get her. Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better.
They passed the elementary school, then the junior high school, and were making their way along the usual route the school bus took. There were no children outside. The weather forecast was calling for snow later in the day, so perhaps they would be out then. It was still early enough for most kids to be sleeping. The hospital had released him at seven, not thirty minutes ago.
So let it out and let it in, hey, Jude, begin. You're waiting for someone to preform with. And don't you know that it's just you, hey, Jude, you'll do. The movement you need is on your shoulder.
As they neared the house, Dean's spirits rose. His eyes were nearly clear from any evidence that he had ben crying and his smile was even starting to still from his emotions. Mary parked the car and Dean jumped out, grabbing his backpack and slamming the door in a hurried excitement. He wanted to go inside and see Sam. He wanted to hug his brother. He wanted to go next door and see Castiel.
Nah, nah, nah, nah nah nah nah, nah nah, yeah.
Dean took a step towards the door and froze.
Hey, Jude. Don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her under your skin, then you'll begin to make it better, better, better, better, better, better, oh.
Castiel was sitting on his front steps, waiting for him. A crooked, closed smile and sleepy puppy dog eyes plastered to his pale face. Mary told Dean that she would grab his things, and Dean, suddenly gaining his ability to move again, stampeded to the front porch, taking his best friend into his arms for a bear hug.
Nah, nah, nah, nah nah nah nah, nah nah, hey, Jude.
If they hadn't bumped into the door, they would have fallen over and hit one of the sun-kissed rocking chairs to either side of them.
Nah, nah, nah, nah nah nah nah, nah nah, hey, Jude.
They went inside and sat at the kitchen table, drinking hot cocoa and waiting for Sam to wake up as Mary washed Dean's clothes from the hospital.
Nah, nah, nah, nah nah nah nah, nah nah, hey, Jude.
If it weren't for Dean's bandage covered scars, he would have been able to forget that the past two weeks had even happened. Being home, being with Castiel, being able to laugh, it felt normal. It felt good. It felt right.
Nah, nah, nah, nah nah nah nah, nah nah, hey, Jude.
Sam stumbled down the stair around nine thirty, sleep crusties being rubbed from his eyes and blanket trailing behind him.
"Dean!" He dropped his blanket and jumped into his brother's lap. "Are you feeling better? Mommy said you had a really bad cold or something." Dean looked into his little brother's innocent eyes and laughed whole heartedly.
"Yeah. I'm all better now, though. See?" he said as he tickled his brother.
Benny, Ash, and Jo stopped by to see Dean later that day before the snow came. Their visits were short and nobody asked about the hospital, which Dean was thankful for. He went to bed early that night, falling into his own bed. He had overlooked the luxury of this comfort in the past. The hospital bed was still and hard to sleep in, and Dean didn't say anything at the time, but it smelt like death, as did the rest of the building. He was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillows.
Saturday arrived in a flash.
It was Dean's birthday and the Shurleys had come over to celebrate. Well, the pseudo-Shurleys had. Castiel and Gabriel had come over with their uncle, Chuck. He was introduced as Cain's younger brother, who had been watching the boys in their father's absence. Apparently, Cain had gone out looking for John. When he came back, he was not in the best of moods, and so he gladly said yes to his employer, who asked him to go on a month long business trip out of the country. Castiel was glad to have his father gone for a while, although Gabriel didn't seemed phased by it. Dean liked Chuck. He was sporadic and twitchy and a paranoid, but he fit into their bunch just fine.
Burgers, as requested by the birthday boy, and pie filled the house with what could only be described as the smell of everything good in the world. Dean had also requested that Cas stay over for the night seeing as it was his birthday and a Saturday night. Mary happily said yes. Sam had asked if Gabriel could stay over as well, but Gabriel answered for Mary with a simple, "Maybe another time when I don't have a butt load of school work to do, Sammich. I can bring my book of pranks over and get you started as my minion." That was good enough for Sam.
After the burgers were devoured, Mary placed a large piece of apple pie in front of Dean.
"Make a wish, sweetie," she practically sang as she took out her camera. Dean pondered for a moment before blowing out the candle and digging into the pie. As he ate, he looked around the table at everyone. Mary was blabbering on about how fast kids grow up (which made no sense to Dean since she still called him her "little boy") while Chuck complimented her baking, Sam was trying to hide the blush that found his face when Gabriel caught him looking at him, Gabriel was ruffling Sam's hair in an attempt to embarrass him even more, and Cas was sitting next to Dean, as per usual.
"So what did you wish for, Dean?" Dean looked back over at his little brother.
"Can't tell ya, Sammy. That's between me and this piece of pie."
"Speaking of pie, Mary, do you think I could take a piece to go? Gabe's gonna start looking at colleges tomorrow meaning I gotta go with him to make sure he stays out of trouble. Can't have him getting called into a headmaster's office before he's even accepted. His father would feed me to the dogs."
Mary smiled at Chuck and got up to cut two pieces of pie. "What time are you leaving tomorrow?"
Gabe huffed and crossed his arms. "Six in the morning. But this is the one that's farthest away so the rest of the visits wont require waking up at the butt crack of dawn." After filling Mary in on Gabriel's interest in law, which shocked everyone, and their plan on visiting a school right on the boarder of Colorado, they said their goodbyes and left Castiel at the mercy of the Winchesters.
Dean and Castiel had taken the blankets off of Dean's bed, unzipped their sleeping bags, and made what they considered a pretty damn badass fort in the middle of the room. They had the largest spare sheet they could find ties to the bedposts at the foot of the bed as well as secured on the top of the dresser. Various blankets were hanging down the sides and over the television so that they could still enjoy the Indiana Jones movies from inside their fort. Cas was sitting up on the sleeping bags and blankets. Dean was face down, his feet practically next to his friend's face.
"Hey, Dean?"
"Yeah, Cas?" His eyes were glued to the screen.
"You could be doing just about anything tonight. You could be out with Jo or Lisa or any other girl from school, but instead you chose to spend the night with me. What the hell is wrong with you?" There was sarcasm in his voice, no doubt about it, but Dean still took the question with pure seriousness. He rolled over so that he was on his side looking at Castiel.
"I know I could, but it's my birthday."
"Yes, it is."
"And since it's my birthday, I can do whatever I want." Cas shifted so that he was lying next to Dean, their shoulders brushing against each other. "Hey, Cas?"
"Yes, Dean?"
"It's my birthday."
"Yes, Dean. We've established that."
"I wanted to spend it with you because there's something that I want to try, and the thing that I want to do, I don't want to do it with Jo or Lisa."
"Dean, are you trying to talk me into some kind of Indiana Jones role play or something?" Dean laughed quietly at his friend's raised brow.
"No, Cas."
"Then what is it?" Dean bit his lip, wondering if he should just tell Cas to forget he said anything when he felt a familiar hand in his, fingers intertwining. "You know you can tell me anything, Dean." Dean turned his head and met a familiar set of bright cobalt blue eyes. "Dean?"
"Cas, you ever kiss anyone before?" Castiel, taken by surprise by his best friend's question, leaned on his arm so that he could better face the teenager next to him.
"Uhm, no," he said with a shake of his head. "I can't say I have."
"Oh. Okay, good." Both boys rubbed the backs of their necks.
"Why do you ask, Dean?"
No turning back. You're a Winchester and Winchesters can do anything they put their minds to. Just go for it.
"Because I was really hoping that this year the best birthday gift I got would be to share a first kiss with you." Before Castiel could say anything, Dean pressed his lips against his, chaste and tender, pulling the older boy down on him. Castiel hesitated at first, unsure of how to proceed, but slowly gave into the warm embrace below him.
"Dean…" whispered Castiel as he parted their lips for air.
"Cas?" Even in the darkness of the room Castiel could see the worry and apology building up in those green orbs, flowing around the blue and gold specks, and submerging from the growing pupils. "Cas, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. Just forget it happened. Please don't be mad." Castiel put a hand on either side of Dean's head and straddled him, keeping his hips elevated so that he wasn't actually touching the boy.
"I can't forget what just happened, Dean. I'm not mad. And don't be sorry." Dean clamped his eyes shut, part of him hoping that when he opened them he would wake up from a bad dream. "Dean, look at me." He hesitantly opened one of his eyes expecting to see his best friend's face filled with rage, but what he saw instead was comfort and understanding. "You're my best friend. It's okay."
"Cas!?" In a moment's time, Dean Winchester found himself being pulled up into another kiss, chapped, full lips latching onto his, moving awkwardly against each other. Instinctively, he wrapped his legs around Castiel's torso and tried to pull him down to the floor, causing their stiffening members to come together. Rolling around on top of the blankets, their hands began to explore their bodies over their shirts. Their movements were awkward and uncoordinated, but perfect in every way.
Castiel pinned Dean down and slid his shirt up his chest just enough to reveal his nipples. "Tell me to stop if you feel uncomfortable." Dean nodded his head and watched as Castiel began to pull his sweatpants and boxers down, freeing the teenager's erect member. Looking down as if to ask for permission, Castiel waited for Dean, expecting to hear him say "stop" or push him off. Instead, Dean took one of Castiel's hands in his own and brought it down to his member, wrapping the digits over the length and pumping.
Dean turned his face into a pillow to suppress a moan. He had only touched himself a handful of times before, but it was never like this. It felt different when someone else was touching him. It felt amazing. It felt like this because it was Cas touching him. He wanted to return the favor. He looked at Castiel, who was focused on stroking his hardening erection. Castiel always got this specific look about him when he was determined to do something right. His tongue would poke out of the corner of his mouth and his eyes would squint ever so slightly. That look changed, however, when Dean's free hand found the edge of his shirt and began to pull it up.
"Dean, no."
"But, Cas-"
"Please." Please. That one little word help so much power, so much meaning, that Dean dropped his hand and went back to focusing on Castiel's touch. He could tell that Castiel was new at this. His mind began to wander. Had Castiel ever touched himself before? Did he think of him when he did? Had he ever cum?
"Oh God, Cas…." Dean bucked his hips when Castiel's nail found the slit that was now drooling droplets of pre-cum. Dean gripped the blankets and bit down on his pillow, Castiel's speed and clutch increasing with pleasurable pressure. Dean could feel a familiar sensation bubbling inside of him. He wanted to be able to scream Castiel's name. He wanted to be able to kiss him again.
"Dean?" That was all it took. Dean came, spunk shooting out onto Castiel's hand and the blankets.
"Cas…." Dean wasn't sure what to say. There were so many things running through his head, so many wonderful things, but he settled on a name instead. He feared that if he thought too much on it, John would creep into his mind and make his night one or terror. It was too soon to travel down that road, and he didn't dare go near it with Castiel around. And what if Castiel didn't feel the same way about him? What if he thought that Dean was just curious and wanted to explore a little? What if this was all just a pity party? Dean shook his head, shoving all of those bad thoughts into a corner in the farthest part of his mind.
Chapped lips found his again as Castiel kissed him tenderly, throwing a blanket that was used to clean up Dean's mess off to the side.
"Happy birthday, Dean." Castiel and Dean fell asleep next to each other, both fully clothed, and both still afraid to actually admit their feelings for the other.
Being thirteen is gonna be hard, thought Dean, thinking of what the future would hold for him in this new stage of life where he was called a teenager. But at least it started off great, and at least I got to kiss him again.
