A/N…Having a bad day so chapters are sad.

Thank YOU to ALL Reviewers!

Disclaimer: I don't own.

Robin's POV

I was fighting with Carly and I slapped her; the next thing I knew he

was pulling us apart, but it was too late he knew. I was sure he

knew. The worst thing was the brief moment our eyes locked and I

saw the look of horror in his eyes. But it wasn't the kind of horror

most people regard HIV with, it was different. Because Patrick was

horrified that he had left me, he was horrified by the pain he

caused, he blamed himself, but I don't blame him. My getting HIV

is not his fault, I won't say that it's not his fault our friendship

ended because there is no way to spin that; he left, said he didn't

want to speak to me anymore, and just left. But I got HIV because I

slept with a man with HIV, but I don't regret it, I loved Stone so

much, and in a way HIV has helped me become who I am today. It

has helped me shape my life, I wanted to quit when I found out I

had HIV, I was in denial, but I didn't in the end and now I have a

great job and I have friends and I have a family but something is

missing. I won't lie and pretend I don't know what's missing,

because I do. Patrick is missing. I love him, more then I've loved

anyone else or could love anyone else. Before he left I didn't know

where I ended and he began, he was a part of me and he still is. I

think that part of why I'm not as outgoing as I once was is because

I don't have Patrick. I love him so much it hurts and without him it

just doesn't seem worth it to try and have fun; to live a complete

and full life, because I know that no matter what I can't be

complete without him. But I am so scared he'll reject me now that

he knows I have HIV but I'm not sure that even if he didn't I could

let him in again. I need him and I love him, but I am so scared of

being hurt again.

Patrick's POV

I watched the scene unfold in front of me as though in slow

motion. Robin and Carly were arguing that was nothing new. But

then she said it. She said Robin, my Robin, my best friend, has HIV.

That couldn't be possible could it? Robin couldn't have HIV. That

could never happen to Robin. I watched in a state of shock as

Robin slapped Carly. This jolted me from my thoughts and I ran

forward pulling them apart. Later when I got home I sat on the

couch and stared into space, just stared, how had it happened. How

could sweet, kind, wonderful, responsible, beautiful Robin get

HIV? She was my best friend and I love her. I think the biggest

regret I will ever have in my life is that I left her and I ruined things

for us. And now I wonder if I had stayed would this have happened.

And somehow I think that if I hadn't left her, if I hadn't run away, if

I hadn't taken the easy way out Robin wouldn't have this disease.

She wouldn't Human Immunodeficiency Virus, she would be okay.

But she's not okay. She lives a cloistered life and that's my fault.

And I don't think that this is an irrational thought because I know

it's true. Robin would be okay, and Robin would be happy, if I

hadn't left her. If Robin were happy now if she were happy with the

way things were then maybe I could go on pretending I did the right

thing but all I have to do is look at the way she stands and I can see

her pain. I just have to listen to her voice to hear her anger. And

looking into her eyes I can see the hurt that has settled into the

depths of the beautiful brown eyes I love so much. And I know I've

caused that pain. But I think worst of all is when I look at her full

on and take in everything about her, and it is in doing this that I see

what I've never seen from Robin never in all the time I've known

her…resignation. She's resigned herself to this life…this life of

pain and hurt and anger…I've caused this, I've killed who she was,

because I was selfish, and I'll never forgive myself for that.

A/N Review! Thanks!