I'm sorry it took me so long to update, but I've got a very good reason. I've been to London to see Mojo (and I met Brendan!) Thank you to everyone for the reviews they truly make my day. I'm sorry to say, but we're nearing the end now. I'll miss this story when it's finished. It might take a while for the next chapter, through my London-trip I haven't had the time to write anything down.
As always, thank you pussycatwithattitude, you're the best.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
A few hours later John awoke with a start, the image of that young boy still fresh in his mind. His heart was beating fast and he could feel cold sweat streaming down his forehead. It took him a while to realise where he was and he could feel someone stirring next to him, but not even the sight of her sleeping peacefully in his arms could calm him down now. Anna was still sound asleep as he removed his arm from around her middle.
He got up and limped to the bathroom as he opened a few buttons on his shirt with trembling fingers. He splashed some water on his face, trying to wash away those memories. It had been a while since he had suffered from a nightmare, but this had been one of his worst. It all felt so real, as if he was back there, going through everything all over again. His heartbeat was still unsteady, and his knee hurt more than ever now. He cursed himself, this was the first time he had slept more than an hour with Anna in his arms and his past just couldn't leave him alone.
"John?"
He started and turned around to see a sleepy Anna standing in the doorway.
"What are you doing here?" She stepped closer to him and noticed his hands were shaking, "John, are you all right?" She took his hands in hers and looked up in his eyes.
He tried to smile, "I will be."
She squeezed his hands softly, "What happened?"
He hesitated and avoided her intent gaze for a while, "I had another nightmare." His eyes found hers again, realising it was the only place where he could find some comfort, "I'll be all right."
She let go of his hands to wrap her arms around him, making soothing motions over his back. He rested his head on her shoulder and allowed himself to surrender to Anna's soft caresses. He stopped shaking and his heart returned to its normal rhythm. She felt his shoulders relaxing and she could hear him breathing in and out slowly. He pulled away to look into her eyes and she could still see the pain in his eyes, the same she saw when he told her about his experiences.
"I'm sorry, Anna."
She shook her head, "I told you before, John, never apologise for this."
He gave her a faint smile and she took his hand in hers to pull him back to the bed. She made him lay on his back, while she herself leant over him on her elbow as she gently stroked back his hair. Neither spoke a word for a while, enjoying the natural comfort between them. In that moment he realised there was no one else in the world he could trust more than her, she was the one who could comfort him in times when he allowed himself to be vulnerable, she was the one who showed him that no matter what she would be there for him and he knew he never wanted it any other way, for the rest of his life.
He cupped her cheek tenderly, smiling as he lifted himself up to press his lips against hers. She could feel there was more to this kiss and she pulled back to look into his eyes, the look of pure adoration in his eyes was all she needed to give in. She couldn't resist moving her hands over his back and into his hair to pull him down on top of her. They shared a few kisses, each one deeper and more passionate than the one before, but as his eyes reluctantly wandered to the clock, he realised it was time to leave.
He broke their kiss and rested his forehead on hers. A smile formed on his lips as he felt her breathe on his mouth, his desire for her increasing with every second.
She sighed and wrapped her arms around his neck, her hands playing with his hair, "I don't want you to go."
His voice sounded hoarse, her hands moving through his hair fuelling his need for her, "I don't want to go."
His lips found hers again, not able to resist her when she was so close to him, the warmth of her body heating him, her hands causing a fire inside him, every inch of his body longing to be close to hers.
She reluctantly pulled away, the need for air forcing her lips to leave his. She could feel his lips travelling lower, leaving a trail of open mouth kisses down her throat to her collarbone. A moan escaped her, but it was quickly silenced by the crush of his lips on hers. He was so gentle and passionate at the same time and she wanted more of him, but she could feel him slowing them down again. She knew it was time for him to go, the first rays of sunlight started seeping through the curtains and as he broke their kiss she could do nothing more than wrap her arms around him, enjoying the last seconds of having him this close to her.
He pressed a soft kiss on her cheek and regarded her intently, "This is the hardest part."
"I know." She couldn't say much, afraid her voice might break if she did.
Another kiss on her lips, "I'm afraid I really have to go now."
"I know." But she did nothing to release him, her arms were still wrapped securely around his back and her legs were still tangled with his.
He chuckled as she tightened her grip around him, "You won't let me go, will you?"
She shook her head and it made him smile even more.
"I'm sorry for this."
She looked at him questioningly, but she soon realised what he meant as he started tickling her sides. The giggles that escaped her were music to his ears and he couldn't help but laugh along with her.
"Stop it, John, please!"
"As you wish, my lady."
He let her go and sat up on the side of the bed. She watched him as he put on his shoes and she was mesmerised by the hairs on his chest trying to escape his shirt. Through the buttons he had opened not so long ago, she could see even more than usual and it gave her all kinds of feelings. When he sat back up and reached up to close his shirt she quickly placed her hands on top of his. He turned his head and raised his eyebrow.
"Let me do it."
He dropped his hands and watched her as she stood up and moved between his legs. He couldn't resist running his hands up and down her thighs as he looked up at her, her heated gaze staring right down at him. Her hands were shaking slightly as she buttoned up his shirt, the darkening of his eyes distracting her. The feeling of her warm skin occasionally brushing against his chest and her intense gaze fixed on his were enough for his heart to start beating out of control again.
When his shirt was closed her hands moved up to cup his cheeks and she bent down to press her lips against his. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to deepen their kiss, showing her exactly what she did to him. A small smile played on her lips as she broke away, his eyes were still closed and she rested her forehead on his.
"I'll miss you."
She pulled him up to embrace him, not wanting to end their time together just yet.
"Thank you for a wonderful evening, Anna."
Her smile was all he wanted, but his words rewarded him with another quick kiss. He held onto her hand as they walked to the door together and down the stairs, only to let go to take his jacket.
"Sneaking off, are we? That's no way to treat a lady, John."
He turned to the kitchen to see Mary standing in the doorway.
"He's not sneaking off, I'm right here."
Mary startled and turned her head towards the stairs, "I'm sorry, Anna, didn't see you there."
John threw Anna a grateful smile and as Mary noticed the looks between the two, she left them to say their goodbyes.
"I'm sorry about that, you know, Mary." She closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his middle. "I'm not a lady anyway."
He leant his cane against the wall to cup her cheeks with both his hands, lowering his voice as his next words were only meant for her ears, "You are a lady to me." He paused, showing her all the sincerity he had, "And I never knew a finer one."
Tears prickled at the corner of her eyes, the rawness in his voice telling her he meant every word he said. She pressed her lips against his in an attempt to show him how much she loved him.
Without any more words, he stepped out into the cool morning air and with one last smile he was gone.
She closed the door and sighed happily, never in her whole life could she have dreamt about a love as strong as theirs.
"Care for a cup of tea?"
She turned around to see Mary smiling at her, "I'd love one." She followed her into the kitchen, "How come you're up this early?"
"I promised George I would pick him up and take him to the zoo. I have to leave in about five minutes." She placed a cup of tea in front of Anna and looked at her expectantly.
"What?"
She smiled knowingly, "Well, how was it?"
Anna frowned, "What do you mean?"
"Oh come on, Anna, don't be ridiculous. You know." She raised her eyebrows meaningfully.
"Mary!"
She only laughed as her friend started blushing, "I'm your best friend you can tell me."
"I won't."
"We used to tell everything to each other."
Anna watched her pleading face and she relented, "If you really must know, we didn't do anything."
Mary's face fell, "You're serious?"
She nodded, "Our relationship is so much more than that. John and I have something special and we want to be free, truly free. I don't want to look over my shoulder whenever I kiss him or embrace him or show him I love him. I want to scream my love from the rooftops, but I can't do that here for fear of Stephen knocking on my door. Believe me, we've had lots of opportunities, but I don't want it to be just another moment, I don't want him to leave at the break of dawn in case Stephen comes back. I want to spend the night with him, knowing that when I wake up he's still there, holding me, ready to kiss me when I first open my eyes."
She sighed and looked back at Mary,
"I just want to be home with him."
Mary smiled, "You really love him, don't you?"
A tear streamed down her cheek, "I don't think I ever loved anyone until he walked into my life."
They shared a smile as they both took a sip from their tea, both thinking about the one they love or have loved. A knock on the door brought them both out of their reverie. Anna's eyes met Mary's and they both thought the same thing, Stephen was back. Mary stood up, but Anna stopped her, "I have to do this."
"I won't leave you."
"Don't worry, I can do this." She noticed Mary looking at the clock, realising she has to pick up George, "Go, I can handle this."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, now go or you'll be late."
She stood up and embraced Anna, "I'll go 'round the back."
As Mary left through the backdoor, Anna walked into the hallway and took a deep breath before she opened the door.
He smiled, but she didn't return it, "Stephen, what are you doing here?"
"Can I just talk to you?"
She sighed, "There's nothing left to say."
"Are you coming tomorrow?"
"I don't know if that's such a good idea."
"I guess you're right." He sighed, "I'm sorry about yesterday, I said things I wish I could take back."
She almost pitied him, "But you can't."
His cold eyes returned and she could see clearly that this time he was showing his true self again, "I said I was sorry, Anna."
"And I accept your apologies, but it won't change a thing."
He kept staring at her and she felt really uncomfortable, she wished John was with her now. "Just leave me alone, Stephen."
"And why would I do that? So you can be with him?"
"How many times do I have to tell you, we're just friends."
"I know you're lying."
"Just go, Stephen." She wanted to close the door, but he placed one foot inside and pushed in.
"I'll go when I want to go." He looked around and smiled, "I guess Mary's out."
He stepped closer and closer until she had her back against the wall and he gripped her wrists, there was nowhere she could go. His face was close to hers and she was scared. She tried to break free, but he was too strong for her.
"Good morning."
Her head turned to where his voice was coming from and she breathed a sigh of relief, he was here.
"I suggest you let her go."
Stephen didn't release her from his grip, only grinning in John's direction, "Oh look, Anna, your boyfriend's here."
"Leave her, Stephen."
"Or what?"
He left his cane against the wall, "Don't test me."
She could feel him releasing his grip for a moment and she took her chance to break free. The fast movement stunned Stephen for a moment, but she only had eyes for John, trying to convey everything without words as their eyes met - gratefulness, admiration, devotion and most importantly pure, simple love.
He stepped aside and opened the door a little further, a small smile on his lips. Stephen passed him, but he couldn't let him go without a warning. He grabbed his jacket and pushed him up against the wall, gritting his teeth as his knee played up again, "And don't come back."
He grinned, "We'll see about that."
John pushed him against the wall a bit harder, "You'll leave her alone or I will come for you."
He threw Stephen out and watched him walk away. His hands were shaking again and he closed his eyes, willing himself to calm down. His head turned in her direction and he could see in her eyes that she was still shaken by the whole situation.
Her gaze met his as he closed the door and he tentatively reached out for her, "Are you all right?"
A small sob escaped her and she flew into his arms. He held her tightly, letting her cry against his chest whilst whispering soft words of love. Anger filled him when he thought about that man, he didn't dare to think about what would have happened if he hadn't come back.
She looked up at him, "Thank you."
"I'm just glad I was here."
"So am I." She wiped away her tears, "Why did you come back?"
"That doesn't matter anymore."
He smiled, but she knew there was more to it, "What is it, John? Please just tell me."
He sighed and closed his eyes, "Can we sit down somewhere?"
Anna frowned, but nodded as she took his hand and guided him to the kitchen. He sat down next to her, his hands searching hers, "I got a call from Helen this morning." She remained silent and he continued, "Archie had a heart attack last night."
"Oh god, John, I'm so sorry."
"He's all right, the doctors were with him really soon and he's already in recovery." He paused, trying to find the right words, "The problem is, they were moving out of their cottage for us and now Helen's all alone."
"And you want to go sooner." She said it more as a statement instead of a question.
He was almost afraid to say it out loud, "She didn't ask me to come sooner, but..."
"But you feel like you have to go." She knew where this was going, she knew him and he felt like he needed to be there.
He nodded, "I wanted to ask your opinion before I talked to anyone else about it, but I made up my mind already. I'm not going."
"What do you mean?"
"Do you really think I could leave you after what just happened?"
This was exactly what she expected him to say, "When would you go?"
"There's a plane leaving early tomorrow morning."
Her eyes widened, "Tomorrow?"
There was a silence and he instantly regretted saying anything at all, definitely after what had just happened.
"Go."
He almost didn't believe his ears, "What?"
"I said you should go."
"No, I can't."
"You can, John, I know how important this is for you. Like you said, when this is over, we'll begin the rest of our lives. But right now, Helen needs you too."
Thinking about leaving her so soon had been hard enough when nothing had happened, but now it was even worse. His voice nearly broke, "But how can I leave you?"
She cupped his cheeks with both her hands, "You're not leaving me, John, we'll just be separated for a while. If this is the price to pay for a life shared with you, then those days are nothing."
He tried to protest, but she interrupted him,
"He won't bother me anymore and if he does, then I won't be alone. Once I tell Mary what happened she won't leave my side for five seconds, you know her."
"But six days, Anna."
"I know."
He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to him, enjoying every moment. Only yesterday he was the one to comfort her, saying that those days were nothing if it meant that they had the rest of their lives, but now he needed her. He missed her if she wasn't by his side for five minutes, how could he ever survive six days? He didn't even feel the tears streaming down his face until she wiped them away and she kissed him, with more passion than ever, the thought of him leaving nearly breaking her as well, but she knew he needed to do this.
She took her hand in his and stood up, "I can help you pack."
He tried to smile, but the thought of leaving her overshadowed everything. The practical side of things came to his mind, realising he needed to call Robert and that Anna should tell Mary. She waved him off, saying she would tell Mary later that night, but she knew he needed to tell Robert.
"Maybe you can call Robert first and I can take a quick shower in the meantime."
John nodded, but he didn't say anything as he sank back down on a chair. She kept her gaze focused on his as she stepped closer again in between his knees, her hands cupping his cheeks,
"We'll make the most of today."
To prove her point she pressed her lips against his, deepening their kiss as he wrapped his arms around her to pull her body closer to his.
She broke away smiling and she was glad to see a smile on his lips as well. She traced his lips with her finger, "That's more like it." He chuckled and she couldn't resist pressing another soft kiss on his lips, "Give me ten minutes."
She went upstairs to take a shower, but all she could think was; he's leaving tomorrow. Even though she knew it was to prepare their home, it didn't change the fact that she wouldn't see him for six days. Their home, the thought alone made her smile. She imagined them holding hands, walking side by side, him opening the door for her, his lips seeking hers as soon as the door was closed, his hands wandering over her body, causing a fire deep inside her. She couldn't deny it, she longed for him.
A little over ten minutes later she walked back in the kitchen to see John reading the paper and drinking a cup of tea. He looked up as soon as he heard her footsteps, only to be stunned by her appearance. She smiled realising the effect she had on him, but his adoring gaze made her blush all the same.
He stood up and walked towards her, "I don't know how you do it, but every time I see you you're even more beautiful."
She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck, "You're rather smooth with your words today."
He chuckled, "What can I say? You bring out the best in me."
The smile on her face never ceased as he placed several kisses all over her face, stopping before he reached her lips and he smiled at the disappointed look in her eyes. He relented and brushed his lips softly against hers, only to see that little sparkle in her eye he had grown so fond of.
"So everything is settled?"
He sighed, "Yes, Robert even offered to drive me to the airport tomorrow morning. He's picking me up at 4 o'clock."
Her face fell for a moment, that was way too soon, she had hoped to have at least one night with him. He noticed the slight change in her expression and he knew what she was thinking, but there was nothing he could do about it. In a way he was glad that Robert would bring him, it would be too hard to say goodbye to her at the airport.
"I'm staying with you until you have to leave, I don't care what anyone might think."
He smiled, "I'd like that very much."
She looked away for a few moments, trying to compose herself as she took a deep breath, "Let's go."
He let her guide him outside and when he tried to release her hand – for fear of being caught out by Stephen – she gave him a stern look and tightened her grip on his hand. She held his hand until she had to let go to get in her car. Once they sat down he turned towards her, a confused look on his face but a smile hidden underneath it.
"I'll have to miss you for six days, so every time I hold your hand, I will hold it a little longer. Every time I kiss you, I will kiss you a little longer. Every time I look at you, I will look a little longer. Every time I'm in your arms, I will stay there a little longer." She looked up in his eyes, "Everything needs to last a little longer, so I can bear to lose you for a while."
His voice nearly broke, no one had ever said something so beautiful to him, "Do you have any idea how much I want to kiss you right now?"
She threw him a cheeky smile, "Who's stopping you?"
He looked around, noticing a few people were walking by the car, but no one really paid any attention to them and a small smile formed on his lips. She just couldn't resist him, everything about him made her yearn for more and that feeling increased with the thought of him leaving her tonight. When his head turned back to her, she was so close to him and he couldn't resist her. How a woman like her could have ever fallen for him, he would never understand, but when his lips met hers, he felt a wave of emotions washing over him. After everything that had happened to him, he had found a love stronger than anything he ever felt, if he hadn't realised it before then he certainly did now, he never loved anyone until she walked in his life. His light at the end of the tunnel, the reason he was still here, the reason he had fought to be who he was and now she was his.
She drove them to his place to start packing his things, it would be the first time she would spent a day in his house. It was a bit ridiculous when she thought about it, they've been together for a while now, sharing all their thoughts with the other, without even saying it and she had never been in his house for more than an hour. Looking around she noticed he had already started packing and a few boxes were already lined up in the hallway.
He noticed she was looking at the boxes, "I never planned on staying here."
She turned around to face him, "What do you mean?"
"The night I realised you were Robert's chef, I knew I couldn't stay when you belonged to someone else and I never bothered unpacking those boxes." He stepped closer and took her hands in his, "But the night I kissed you for the first time, I realised you were coming with me."
The smile he gave her made her heart jump, and she could only smile back, how did he do that?
He walked further into the living room, her hand still in his, "Besides I never needed that stuff anyway."
"What is it?"
"Old photo albums and quite a few books I couldn't get on the bookshelf."
"Photo albums? Can I see them?"
"I thought we were here to pack, not unpack." He smiled, "I promise I'll show them to you when we're home."
Home, there it was again and she couldn't help but smile. He stepped closer, a smile on his face as well, "Sounds good, doesn't it?"
She placed a soft kiss on his lips, "It does. Now, come on, Mr Bates, we have work to do."
They worked side by side, first downstairs, putting all his books in boxes, his record collection and his film collection with Anna casting a critical eye over everything she held in her hands and John smiling at the sight. He enjoyed the feeling of just being near her, his mind imagining her by his side in their small hotel, sharing secret smiles and soft caresses whenever they could.
It was nearly midday when they finished everything downstairs and Anna raided John's fridge to put something together for lunch. She was stirring the pots when his arms came around her from behind, his chin resting on her shoulder as he tried to distract her by placing soft kisses on her temple, her cheek, her neck while his hands moved over her sides, increasing her desire. She couldn't hold it any longer and she turned around in his arms, crushing her lips to his. He deepened their kiss instantly, not able to resist her as her hands moved through his hair, she knew his weakness.
She broke away panting for breath, but smiling all the same, "You know how to distract a woman."
He gave her a quick peck, "Just wanted to give you something to last the week."
She shook her head and turned back to her pots, "That's not the only reason I'll be missing you."
He smiled, she was just incredible. Everything she said came right from her heart to be stored in his forever, what did he do to deserve her?
He left her in the kitchen to look around in his living room, it seemed empty, but it never really was home, not without her. There were a few good memories here, but it wasn't the same as having a home to share. He took a few boxes and carried them to the ones in the hall. There was something else in there he hadn't told her, but he knew it belonged to her. He opened the box and took out a package, more than 100 letters were in there - some ready to be sent, others only half-written - and one photograph. It still made him smile, just as it did all those years ago. He walked to the kitchen, package in one hand, photograph in the other, but he stopped in the doorway, admiring her for a moment, drinking her in, memorising every part of her.
She felt his eyes on her back and she cherished the feeling, hoping he would come towards her and wrap his arms around her again. Her smile grew brighter as he did exactly what she was thinking; only adding a soft kiss to her fantasy to make the memory perfect. They remained silent for a while, enjoying the feeling of being near each other, knowing they'll have to miss the other for the next few days.
"I want to give you something."
She turned her head and frowned, "I'm intrigued."
He took her hand in his and turned off the stove, "Come sit with me for a while."
She saw him taking a package and a photograph from the kitchen table as he walked her out of the kitchen to his sofa.
He hesitated a while before speaking, this was very important to him. "I told you I had written to you."
She nodded and her gaze moved to the package, only now realising what he was about to do. "John, you don't have to."
"These were always meant for you, and I want you to have them." He handed her the package and entwined their fingers, "Just know, when I wrote them I was in a really bad place, some are just scribbles, some are ready to be sent."
"Are you sure, John?"
"No more secrets, Anna." He smiled, this was the last step and he was glad he finally took it, "Read them when I'm gone."
All she could feel now was pure admiration. She could see this wasn't easy for him, even though he remained strong and he was convinced that this was the right thing, but she knew him. She squeezed his hand softly as if asking if he was really sure, but he only smiled reassuringly.
"They are yours, Anna, always have been."
She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against his, "Do you have any idea how much I love you?"
"If it's only half as much as I love you, then I'm a very lucky man." He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and placed a soft kiss against her temple, "There's something else I wanted to show you."
He handed her the picture and she gasped, "Where did you get this?"
"Cora sent it to Robert when we were back there. He gave this one to me."
"I've never seen this one before."
Her eyes wandered over the photograph and she smiled as she remembered the night she met him. She was smiling there as well, looking at him, and he at her - their own little world. She didn't even know this picture existed. Matthew was still there and so was Sybil. Emotions overtook Anna, realising that John could have been gone too, but then he squeezed her shoulder and her eyes met his – he was here, with her.
"Do you remember what you said to me then?"
She shook her head and the smile he gave her made her heart skip a beat. He lowered his voice to a whisper and leaned closer to her ear, "You said you'd get me on that dance floor with you before the night was over."
A small smile tug at the corner of her lips, remembering the moment, reliving it. She had gotten him on the dance floor that night, only one dance, but it was everything she had hoped for. He was distant at first and insecure, keeping a respectful distance between them, but when her eyes met his, she came closer to him. Her hands wrapped around his neck as his own hands found their way to her hips while they gently swayed to the music. She could still remember the feeling of being in his arms for the first time, warmth had spread through her only to come back when he held her once again after all those years.
"I never danced with anyone since, for obvious reasons of course."
A wistful smile played at his lips and she wanted to take it away, she wanted him in her arms again and she stood up from the sofa.
"What are you doing?"
"Isn't it obvious?" She gave him a playful smile as she walked to his stereo, one album was still there and she played it.
"Anna, as much as I want to I can't dance."
"I'm not asking you to dance, John, I'm asking you to hold me." She held out her hand for him, "Come here."
He could never resist her and he relented, taking her into his arms and smiling down upon her. Her hands wrapped around his neck, and his ever so tender at her hips, holding her close to him, while they moved at a rhythm of their own.
Well you and I
"This isn't so bad, is it?"
Collapsed in love
He placed a soft kiss on her lips, "Just perfect."
And it looks like we might have made it, yes it
She sighed happily and leant her head on his shoulder, "Will it always be like this?"
Looks like we've made it to the end
"What do you mean?"
"You and me. This. Sometimes I just can't believe my luck to have you."
He pulled back a little, a smile on his lips, "I can't ever imagine things being different, for me." He peppered her face with kisses, his voice only a whisper, "My heart will never stop beating faster whenever I see you, think of you or even breathe the same air as you. I will never stop wanting you, never stop falling in love with you. Every day you give me a new reason to love you. For me, this will never stop, Anna."
A tear streamed down her cheek, was it even possible to love him more? He gently wiped away her tear and pressed his lips against hers, the song already at an end, but their arms still wrapped around the other. When he broke away he rested his forehead against hers, "Thank you for another wonderful memory, Anna."
She smiled, "That's what you said that night."
"I'm glad you remember."
"How could I forget?"
They shared a smile and held each other for a while longer, neither wanting to end this beautiful moment until they really had to.
The rest of the afternoon was spent packing John's stuff upstairs, occasionally interrupted when the need to hold each other arose. John had packed one suitcase with a few clothes in to get him through the first week. Robert had promised to send his belongings as soon as possible and Anna would bring some things with her as well, when she came. None of the furniture belonged to John, everything was given to him by Robert along with the house to rent. That way he could start anew with Anna, he would be happy to endure furniture stores with her as long as she was happy.
Anna had suggested asking Robert for dinner. She really wanted to spend his last night here together, but she realised there was more he was leaving behind. Robert was John's best friend and they had been through a lot together. She knew John needed to say goodbye to him properly. He had declined the offer at first, saying he wanted to spend his last night with her, but she could be very persistent when she wanted to. In the end John was really glad Robert came over, even though it meant him having to sit through a few embarrassing stories, but one look at Anna's smiling face was more than enough for him to enjoy it all the same. When Robert left, it was just him and Anna again, but it was already past midnight and their time together was shortening with every second.
She was filling the dishwasher when he took her hand to stop her and guided her back to his sofa. He sat down and pulled her with him, placing her in between his legs, her back resting against his chest, her head under his chin.
"I won't have you cleaning while I could spend our last moments with you in my arms."
She smiled and closed her eyes, "That's good."
His hands rested on her stomach and she entwined their fingers, wanting to be as close to him as possible,
"Tell me about our home again."
He placed a soft kiss on her shoulder, "What do you want to know?"
She turned her head to look up at him, "How you see us there, you and me in our home, what it will be like."
He continued placing kisses along the side of her face to her neck and back, his voice no more than a whisper, "I will wake up every morning to the feeling of having you in my arms, while I watch you and I'll press my lips to yours to greet you, hoping to see a smile once I pull away."
She guided his lips towards hers, smiling when he pulled away.
He chuckled, "Very good." He couldn't resist brushing his lips against hers once more, "I'd make you breakfast, before we'd go and run over the day with our staff. Then we would go our separate ways in the hotel, but every time I'd see you somewhere along my way, I would find a way to touch you, feel you close to me, brush my lips against yours, tell you I love you. Everyone will know how much we love each other, but we will be their decent employers…" He lowered his voice to a husky whisper, "…until we are alone."
She nearly moaned out loud at the suggestive tone in his voice, but she managed to suppress the urge as his lips found hers again, leaving her breathless when he broke away.
"And if we want to..."
He hesitated, but she knew what he was going to say. She turned her head to look up in his eyes, "If we want to start a family."
The smile that formed on his face took her breath away, "We could take our children to school every morning, further down the road, where their old dad used to go when he was just a boy."
She closed her eyes and leant back on his shoulder, entwining their fingers, "I can't wait to see where you grew up."
"It's nothing special."
"It is to me." She placed a soft kiss on his knuckles, "You are to me."
His voice nearly broke as he uttered his words full of promise, "I love you."
Those words would never fail to make her smile. She turned her head and pressed her lips to his, savouring each and every second she was with him. They spent the rest of their time together in a comfortable silence, only to be broken by soft whispers or when the need to feel his lips on hers came to her. She fought to keep her eyes open as the time passed them by, to be with him longer, to feel him longer, to hold him longer. She knew it was only for a matter of days, but everything still felt so new with him that she couldn't go without him for more than five seconds.
Too soon his doorbell rung to announce Robert's arrival and she had to let him go, for the first time that night. She tried to smile, promising herself to stay strong and not to cry, not while he could see her. But she watched him taking his suitcase, locking the door, handing the keys back to Robert, smiling and embracing him to thank him for everything he had done for him, for them and the first tear streamed down her cheek. She turned around and wiped her eyes, before he could see her, but he had seen it. He stretched out his hand and took hers in his, giving it a comforting squeeze and he got a small smile in return. Robert drove Anna back to Mary's first, but he remained in his car to give them a bit of privacy.
She held onto his hand as he walked her to the door and when she turned to face him, she couldn't let go yet. Every second mattered and every second was stored in her memory to get her through the next six days without him.
He stepped closer and placed a soft kiss on her cheek, "This time next week, you'll be in my arms and I won't let you go, not ever." She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and he bent down to rest his forehead on hers, "Or maybe just long enough to cook something for us." He chuckled as she gave him a playful slap, but he was quickly forgiven when he brushed his lips against hers.
A tear streamed down her cheek and he kissed it away, but she couldn't hold them back. "I know I'm being silly, it's only a week, but I'm going to miss you so much."
He cupped her cheek tenderly, a soft smile on his lips, as he leaned closer placing several kisses on her face, memorising every crease with his lips. "I'll be there the moment you arrive and I will call you every day, until you are with me once again. Because without you, I'm nothing." He wrapped his arms around her completely as he pressed a kiss to her temple, "My love for you goes on and on, Anna."
She tightened her grip around him, fighting her tears – his words ringing in her ears – but as she looked over his shoulder she could see Robert in the car checking his watch and she knew their time was at an end. She placed a soft kiss in his neck and pulled back, "You need to go."
He looked down, her hand still secure in his, "I know."
She gave him a reassuring smile, "I'll be right behind you, John."
His gaze found hers again and he mirrored her smile, "I'll be waiting."
She embraced him one last time and stepped inside, she couldn't watch him drive away from her. Even though she would miss him terribly, she had more reasons to smile. A day filled with beautiful memories was more then she could have asked for and he had given her everything; soft, unexpected kisses, loving embraces, hushed words uttered with the utmost care, every word insuring her of his love and the letters. He had given himself to her completely and he was everything she ever wanted.
The lyrics are from Blur - To The End.
