I do not own Final Fantasy or its characters.

Fair talking

"People talking"

'People thinking'

-xXXXx-

Luckily, they had managed to find a log they could burn and use as a torch, and were currently looking around the cave for a way out.

Zack glanced at the eggs when they started shaking again. "How long do you think we have until the little dears wake up and start calling us, 'Mama?'"

Or start eating the flesh from your face? Half an hour, I don't know, Fair mentally shrugged.

"About twenty minutes," Cloud called casually.

Eh, I was close.

"Well, fuck," Reno sighed. Sephiroth was staring contemplatively at the wall of rubble blocking the entrance. It shook every now and then as the dragons threw themselves against the cave.

"I'm gonna name the middle one Happy," Zack declared.

And we can call you Dopey, Fair scoffed.

"They aren't pets, Zackary, and we are certainly not keeping them," Sephiroth stated calmly, peering at a rock near the edge of the entrance.

"Hey, it could be like a mascot," Zack continued. "And the Turks' mascot can be a moogle. Hey, Cloud?" he called to the blonde. "Who do you think would win in a fight? A dragon or a moogle?"

"Screw you, Fair," Reno snapped.

I didn't do anything!

Zack snorted.

"You think this is funny?" the Turk snarled, turning around and brandishing his torch in a threatening manner. "I'm not supposed to be here, yo. I have a goddamn mission in the morning. I took that heli without a written consent, because I'm a damn good friend. Do you even know what that means, yo? It means if that copter gets messed up, Veld is going to fucking shoot me."

As if on cue, there was the sound of could only have been the helicopter exploding, preceded shortly by the screeching of metal being torn, and Reno looked absolutely horrified. Cloud indifferently brushed off the dust that fell when the cave shook. Sephiroth prodded at a large rock that had shifted.

"I'm fired," Reno choked, going very pale.

"That's not so bad," Zack shrugged, having watched Reno's rant in silent amusement.

"In the Turks, getting fired means eating lead," Reno growled. "And I am NEVER. giving you a lift in my off time again."

Cloud watched, partly-interested, as Sephiroth started shoving at a boulder.

"Fair, come here," he grunted.

See, this is another reason I want you to be on a first-name basis with people, Fair stated. It would stop me from thinking Sephy's hearing more than one voice.

"Is it that heavy?" Zack wondered as he wandered over to the General. Sephiroth should have been able to get it by himself.

"Stand right there," he directed, and Zack did as told, "No, I'd just rather not be hit by falling rocks."

"Oh, so they'll hit me first?" Zack sighed as Sephiroth started shoving again.

"That's the plan," Sephiroth mumbled sarcastically. The rock shifted, and Zack knocked away any rocks that would have hit them. Light peaked out from the hole Sephiroth has discovered, sending a light through the cave that seemed blue in comparison to the red of the torches.

"I can move it any more," the General stated, warily watching the rest of the rubble. "It might cave in again."

"We can't fit through that," Reno sighed, coming near and crouching beside the crack.

Cloud could, Fair mused.

"Cloud can," Zack echoed cheerfully. They all looked at the cadet, who puffed angrily up almost like a chocobo would.

"And you would if we cut you up into a few pieces," Cloud snapped.

"I like his style," Sephiroth declared, but then looked at Cloud closely. "Honestly though, Zack's right."

"What." Cloud deadpanned, forgetting for a moment that Sephiroth was his superior officer.

The General rose an eyebrow as Zack's mouth dropped open at Sephiroth actually considering his idea (which had been a JOKE).

"It would probably land you a field promotion," he said. "And the barracks certainly aren't a comfortable place to live. I can see to it that you get your own room somewhere in the building. All you have to do is get outside, get to the truck, and use the radio there to get help."

Cloud slowly furrowed his eyebrows. "You do know that would take a few hours, right?" He glanced over his shoulder. "The eggs are going to hatch in like, ten minutes."

Is he actually considering it? Fair gaped.

"We can take care of a few baby dragons," Sephiroth shrugged.

Cloud narrowed his eyes. "...I want access to the SOLDIER mess hall, too. If I have to eat in the school's mess again I'll die from whatever the hell kind of malboro they're serving this week."

Sephiroth smirked. "Deal."

I wonder what the hell Gaia was thinking when she chose someone who had to be bribed to save lives as the "Chosen One."

Cloud shrugged and started taking off the bulky unnecessary gear he had on, figuring the easier it was to get through the crack, the faster he got out and away from rampaging dragons. "You better have some sort of diversion to get them away from the cave for a few seconds."

Sephiroth paused for a few seconds in thought before nodding. "I have an idea."

-xXx-

"You are a terrible person," Zack declared, pouting at Sephiroth, who shrugged and had his arm shoved through the crack up to his shoulder.

"I never use it," he defended.

"It still has feelings," Zack complained.

"Why do you even carry it?" Reno wondered. Cloud was switching around materia in the bracer he had been lent, crouched beside Sephiroth and prepared to dive into the hole.

"For this exact reason," Sephiroth replied. "Are you ready, cadet?"

Cloud looked up from the materia. "Yes, sir." He hesitated, some of the shy persona coming back for a moment. "Are you sure this will work?"

"Pretty sure," Sephiroth replied. His hand felt the edge of the cave and he smirked before using his ChocoMog summon and yanking his hand out.

"Pretty sure-?" Cloud gulped.

"Go!" Sephiroth snapped, nearly shoving the cadet through.

"THE HELL!" Cloud roared along with the dragons as a terrified squeak and wark sounded from the other side of the wall.

"Crawl, chocobo, crawl!" Zack shouted. Reno had fallen over in hysterics. Another wark sounded. "And the other chocobo! Run, chocobo, run!"

Maybe...this is it's purpose, Fair mused seriously.

"To act as bait to lure four angry dragons away?" Zack asked angrily.

Probably. Shiva knows I never used the thing in a battle.

They could still hear Cloud cussing as he wormed his way through to the other side until the light shone through again.

"You haven't been turned into KFC, have you?" Zack called through, worried.

"KFC?" Sephiroth asked.

"Kalm Fried Chocobo?"

An angry burst of Thunder shot through the hole, aimed slightly at Sephiroth, who merely leaned back out of the way with a smirk.

"Very nice, though you should work on your aim, cadet," he called with a smirk.

"It's not cadet anymore, sir, remember?" Cloud sneered. "Wanna be my target for practice?"

"Oh, yes, it's private, now. And maybe when you aren't surrounded by dragons," Sephiroth replied lightly. "You should probably head for cover now..."

Cloud cursed again before he was gone, and Zack watched through the hole to make sure the dragons didn't see him. He could still hear the chocobo and the moogle freaking out, and, mainly surprised they were still alive, figured the dragons had not noticed Cloud.

"Oh," Sephiroth sighed as the eggs started to hatch.

"Hey, Reno," Zack called, still watching the dragons.

"What, now?" Reno sighed, tapping at the egg impatiently.

"About that mascot battle? Yeah, the dragon's totally winning."

"Shut up, Zack," both Reno and Sephiroth ordered.

-xXXXx-

Eh, this isn't one of my better chapters. But, hey, the muses will do that kind of evil thing to you.

Guess what! I got a 3DS for Christmas and I'm currently obsessed with The World Ends With You! I wanted to play this game because the characters are going to be in the new Kingdom Hearts game coming out (which now has an eight-minute long trailer that is fucking AMAZINGG), but I swear, even if they weren't going to be in KHDDD I'm glad I played this game.

Question: What did you get for Christmas that you are most psyched about? Unless you don't celebrate Christmas, so since it is the end of 2011, what is the best gift you have gotten this year?

Well, I won't be updating till next year ;)

So Happy New Years!