2:37 AM
I can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes and begin to drift back to sleep, the nightmares return. Bloody, smoky purple blurs surrounding undefinable faces and limp bodies. Everyone is dead. There are flashes of anger, sadness, and despair. Occasionally, I see a glint of champagne curls within the crackling storm, trying to make its way toward me. I can feel the darkness, like a claw, shredding my control into ribbons with invisible talons. Mother was in the latest nightmare prior to waking. Another flashback from the early days of becoming queen. Thick, unforgiving branches coiling tight enough to suffocate, and Mother teasing me as I squirmed to escape. She just kept laughing, calling me a fool, saying that running was pointless, and she would always find me. That failed attempt to escape resulted in 2 cracked ribs, bruised lungs, and a watercolor display of purple across my upper torso. Mother wouldn't allow magical assistance for my ribs and they never healed quite right. She wanted me to suffer. She tethered me to that man without so much as a second thought. Cut from similar cloth, those two. Even though I am awake, the fog remains. It swirls through the air, thick and harsh like a blown-out candle. I wish Emma was here. She healed the darkness once already, but I can't ask more of her. Henry would never forgive me if something happened to her. I wouldn't forgive myself either, for that matter.
Regina tossed and turned in the large bed, managing to wrench every sheet and blanket from its holdings. The room had a crisp chill to it from the approaching Autumn season, but she was drenched in thick sweat. Nails dug into the remaining base sheet, all other coverings pooled at the end of the bed. Tense limbs hyperextended at odd angles as her back bowed upwards, a pained whimper was lost in the otherwise quiet of the room.
"Emma!"
The brunette's body dropped onto the bed, she'd woken herself up with the exclamation of the Savior's name. She scrambled her body toward the headboard, weak arms pulling trembling legs to her chest. The tears came immediately, drowning out her surroundings. Make it stop. Gods, please make it stop. Too real. A razor-sharp pain spiked through her heaving chest and she fell forward onto all fours, clutching the base sheet for dear life. No, damnit. Not again. Stay where the hell you're buried. Another spike rippled down her back in a tremor. The magic was not pleased that it had not been let out to play with the world in quite some time, so it decided to wreak havoc on its host. Play with me, Regina, the magic whispered to the crying queen. Don't you miss the rush of power? We can destroy Snow White now, she does not suspect anything. Regina tried ignoring the pull of magic, but having difficulties as the siren continued to bleed beautiful lies into her psyche. You could have Henry all to yourself again. All you must do is conjure me and we can take care of that pesky Savior.
"No!"
The word out in a low, threatening snarl. Emma Swan would not suffer the brunt of any more of her magic. Regina brought herself to a sitting position, hands clutching slick thighs. She spoke in level, hushed tones as to not wake Henry.
"I don't need you. I created you and I can stop using you when I wish to. No harm will come to Emma Swan or the other two idiots. I can be good."
We don't like to be good. So very boring. We want death and destruction.
"No, I don't want that anymore. I want love to."
Love is weakness, foolish Queen. Who could love such an undesirable creature?
"It doesn't have to be. I love Henry and that does not make me weak."
He doesn't love you. He loves the Savior.
"Love is not finite. I found a way to love Henry after all the loss."
What a shame, the boy sees you as a monster. That could all be fixed with a flick of the wrist.
"I refuse to use magic on my son!"
You are weak. Let me make you strong again. We will restore you to your former glory.
"I am not the Evil Queen anymore. I refuse to be. Be gone!"
Getting rid of your magic isn't so easy, dark queen. You of all should know better. Look at your mother.
"Don't."
All that hard work and planning, gone to waste. You never measure up to what she wanted. Always fighting against her, causing much trouble when all she wanted was to make you queen.
"Stop." Tears streamed down Regina's face.
Unappreciative, selfish child that refused to do what needed to be done.
"Mother wanted the world at her feet. I never wanted that!" A sob hiccupped through her.
You disgusted her! A pathetic shadow of the woman you had the potential to be. You settled for a hand-me-down Savior mini-me over exacting your revenge to its fullest potential.
"Henry is more important than my revenge ever was."
Why does that black heart inside your chest call to me when no one is around then, dear Queen? Oh, how it begs for me. The Savior doesn't know how badly you crave to choke the fragile windpipe her mother uses to question you. You wanted her severed, bloody head on a pike once, and sooner or later, you will again. You can play pretend Madame Mayor, but you'll always be the Evil Queen. She was a force of nature to be feared. You are just a weak imitation, easily forgettable.
"I am who I wish to be, not what anyone else perceives me to be!"
The biting response was enough for the magic to resettle to its dormant state, enough energy was spent for the time being. Regina sat statue-like in her bed, unable to relax her muscles just yet to move. She strained her eyes toward the clock on the nightstand. It was 5:31 AM and soon, Henry would be waking up for school. The feeling of pins and needles began at her feet and, in a sad attempt, she slowly slumped to a supine position and stretched the aching limbs outward. She didn't dare another attempt at sleep, she knew what would be waiting. Instead, as the strength returned to her body, she heaved herself off the bed as carefully as possible. Unsteady legs approached the open closet door and weary eyes surveyed the day's options. Black. Black and grey. Black and red. Perhaps, I need to diversify this wardrobe. Her magic sent a non-threatening pang through her, signaling its agreement, and tempting her to use it to dress. Regina forewent the usual business suit and blazer for a more casual light tan pencil skirt and three-quarter sleeve white blouse. She decided that today, due to the lack of sleep and energy drain, it would be a half-day at the office. And, like a true queen, she refused to look anything but her best, even if she'd gone through hell incarnate. A small knock came from the bedroom door before it opened a crack, a tousled head of hair peeking through.
"Mom?" Henry's voice was quiet and full of sleep.
"Good morning, little prince." Regina winced as she walked over to embrace him.
Small arms squeezed around Regina's waist and she leaned to place a kiss on her son's disheveled hair.
"How did you sleep?"
"Good. I missed my bed," he yawned and wiped the sleep from his eyes.
"I'm sure it missed you as well. I certainly did."
Henry leaned back into his mother, resting his head against her chest.
"I miss you too, Mom. But Emma said we can spend more time as a family now."
Regina was taken aback her son's words. A family? With Emma?
"She did, did she? Is that something you would like?" She smoothed back his hair and smiled.
"Yeah! I like it when you two aren't fighting."
"Me too, Dear."
Mother and son walked together down to the kitchen. Regina cast a glance at the kitchen clock as she pulled out the milk for Henry's cereal. 6:02 AM. Is it too early to message Emma? She grabbed a bowl from the nearest cabinet and poured the Cheerios that Henry had chosen into it.
"Henry, I forgot my phone upstairs. Can you pour your own milk so that I can go get it?"
"Sure, Mom!"
The short boy hopped off the stool by the kitchen island and retrieved a spoon from the silverware drawer, then set off to pour the milk. Meanwhile, Regina climbed the stairs to her bedroom, each step feeling like a heavy weight was strapped to her legs. She stepped through the threshold of the bedroom, immediately spotting her cell phone on the nightstand and picked it up. Sunlight was streaming into the room from the large bay window, the sunrise was a melt of orange and pink swirls. Oh, I need to get the newspaper before the sprinklers soak it again. I need to have a conversation with that paperboy about throwing it in the bushes. Foolish child. She descended the stairs at an agonizing pace, her calves burning as though she'd run a marathon during the night. Thankfully, the distance between the staircase and the front door was short and it was more or less a glide over the hardwood floor instead of harsh steps. Regina opened the door and peered out in search of the morning paper, but was disappointed when there wasn't one. Second time this month that I'm missing my paper. I'll be sending a formal complaint to the distributor. Before she closed the door, a sweet smell caught her attention and she was face-to-face with a bouquet of her favorite flowers. What is this? She carefully extracted the tightly-bound bundle from the knocker and narrowly caught the small note that had slipped out of it. Are these from Emma? Where did she find them and how did she know I love irises? Regina absent-mindedly entered the kitchen, confusion and wonderment swam through her mind.
"I thought she forgot them last night!" Henry exclaimed.
Regina was brought out of her fog, "What, Dear?"
"The flowers. Emma picked them for you yesterday, but I didn't see her give them to you. Figured she forgot them in the car."
"These are from Emma?" Regina implored.
"Yeah! Duh, Mom. She said you've been working really hard and you deserve for someone to do something nice for you."
Regina's throat constricted and, in her raw state, tears threatened to break past makeup-free eyelashes.
"She said that?" Her voice was low, full of emotion.
"You okay, Mom? Why do you look sad?" Henry hopped off his stool and embraced his mother.
"Yes, I'm alright, my little prince. I just wasn't expecting them, that's all." She hugged him tightly.
Innocent eyes stared up at Regina, unassuming and loving.
"You're really trying? With the magic stuff?"
"Yes, I really am, Henry." A single tear ran down her cheek, "I love you more than anything magic could ever conjure."
"Is it hard? Having it back, but not using it?"
She let out a dark chuckle, "Yes, but losing you would be harder. I can live without magic, but I can't imagine my life without you."
"Maybe one day, you can teach me?"
The question rattled Regina to the core. Less than an hour ago, she had been engaged in one of the most draining and strenuous battles with her magic that she'd ever experienced. The journey back from the depths of revenge and sorrow was never going to be easy, but the magical withdrawal added a sinister twist. He wants to learn magic one day? What if I can't protect him against it? What if I let it consume me again? Images of bloody fights, the thick smell of dark magic, and chaos filled her senses with each thought.
"Moooooom! Earth to Mom!" Henry teased, shaking her slightly.
"I'm sorry, Henry. What were you saying?" Regina's attention snapped back to her son.
"Magic. Maybe you could teach me when I'm older?"
"We shall see."
"Okay!"
Henry released his mother and skipped over to his finished bowl of cereal, picking it up and putting it in the sink. Regina held out a hand to stop him from leaving the kitchen.
"Henry, I'm not feeling particularly well this morning. I am going to see if Miss Swan can take you to school, alright?"
"Okey-dokey! I'll go get ready."
Realizing she still had the flower bundle in her hand, she found a vase underneath the sink to place them in. The note was also still in her hand, unopened and ominous. What could this be? She added water to the vase and took a seat at the kitchen island, toying with the note in her hand. Instead of reading the note, she picked up her cell phone to message Emma.
My Majesty; Are you awake, Miss Swan?
Sheriff Crooner: Define awake.
My Majesty: Are you able to take Henry to school this morning? I am feeling under the weather.
Sheriff Crooner: You okay? Yeah, I can take him. Be there in 10.
My Majesty: Yes. I will be taking a partial day but I am perfectly capable of keeping Henry for the remainder of the week.
Sheriff Crooner: Easy tiger. I wasn't going to whisk him away. See you soon.
Regina let out the breath she was holding, placing the phone back on the countertop. Nerves jittered through her body, anxious about seeing Emma after the events of last night. She slid the vase of irises toward her, inhaling the light aroma. My savior, even when you aren't trying to be. Her smile faded when as she glanced down at the note between her fingers. A lifetime of conquering villages and near-death experiences but, yet, this tiny piece of paper is the thing that terrified her. The irony was not lost on her and she let out a quiet chuckle. The paper turned over in her hands once more before she took it with both hands and unfolded it.
We are made by what we are asked to bear.
The doorbell rang, startling Regina away from the note. She frantically wiped at her damp eyes.
"I got it!" Henry yelled, running down the stairs.
The sound of laughter flowed from the living room. But Regina sat frozen in her seat in the kitchen, unable to move. She heard the scuffing of boots behind her before seeing the sheriff enter the kitchen.
"Hey, Henry said you were in here, is everythi-"
Emma stopped short and mid-sentence, seeing the vase of flowers and note in Regina's hands. Shit. Be cool. Be casual.
"Regina?"
The brunette cleared her throat, the voice coming out in a croak, "Yes?"
Emma rounded the table, shock on her face, "Holy shit, Regina. What happened? You look like shit."
"I don't have the energy to return insults, Miss Swan." She replied dryly.
Emma examined the brunette, taking in every small detail. Dark circles under blood shot eyes. Olive skin was extremely pale over visible veins. She's been crying recently. Why?
"Did something happen after I left? Was it the magic? Was it a person?"
"I will survive."
"That doesn't answer my question, Regina. What's going on?"
"Just having difficulties sleeping, Sheriff. Nothing for you to be concerned about."
"I'm not asking as your sheriff. I'm asking as your friend."
"My sheriff?" A wry smile spreading on the brunette's lips.
"Well- uh- ya know- yes." Emma struggled with her response.
"Dear?"
"Yes?"
"You're flailing. Calm yourself."
Emma let out a breath, "Right, yeah. Sorry. Anyways. The kid is pretty much good to go so I'm going to take him to school, okay?"
Regina nodded but didn't make a move to get up. Emma reached out a hand and squeezed the brunette's shoulder affectionately, then exited the kitchen.
"Ready, Henry?" Emma yelled up the stairs.
"Coming!"
Henry came barreling out of his room and down the stairs. He ran his way to the kitchen and gave his mother a quick hug. Regina heard the front door close moments later and dropped her head against the tabletop. The magic inside her crackled, taking advantage of her vulnerable state.
Weak, useless, unlovable-
"STOP!" Regina bellowed, slamming her fists on the tabletop.
Stubborn, foolish, unwilling-
"I said, stop!"
Reflexively, a bright fireball formed in Regina's open palm. Horrified, she drew the magic back in and clasped her hands together.
Yes, let's play. Let me out. We have so much to do.
"No, WE don't have anything to do. I have to finish getting ready for work." Regina growled.
You miss me, dear queen. You'll use me again, sooner rather than later. You'll see.
The chair scraped backward as Regina shoved herself away from the kitchen island. The muscles in her back protested as she stretched and walked to her bedroom. She still felt the presence of her magic, but more of a taunting one than threatening. After a quick glance at her vanity, she decided to forego putting on anything more extravagant than eyeliner and finished getting ready, already wishing the day was over.
Across town, Emma was parking her car in front of Granny's, having a tentative conversation with her son.
"Hey, kid. Is everyone okay with your mom? She looked a little rough around the edges this morning."
"I think she's having bad dreams again."
"Again?"
"Yup. She started having them after the curse broke." He shrugged.
"Interesting. Why do you think she's having them again?"
"I hear things. I think she was crying."
"Damn. That's not good." It came out more as a muffled whisper.
"Emma?"
"Yeah, kid?"
"Will you take care of my mom? Make sure she's okay today?"
Emma smiled down at her son, pulling him into a side hug.
"Yeah, kid. I can do that."
"Thanks, Ma."
Emma pulled back and smile, "What did you call me?"
"Ma. I already have a mom so you're Ma." Henry beamed up at her.
"I like it, it's got style." She returned his smile, "Come on, we gotta get you to school."
Emma dropped Henry off at his bus stop and headed back towards Granny's for her morning coffee and bearclaw. She was greeted by a far too excited Ruby as soon as she opened the door.
"Spill. Tell me everything."
"Dunno what you're talking about. Can I get my bearclaw?"
"Nah, Swan. Cough it up, something totally went down between you and Madame Mayor last weekend."
"Ruby, I really don't want to talk about it." Emma took a seat.
Ruby starts filling a coffee cup, "Look, she answered your phone and acted jealous when I called you. Clearly shit happened. Throw a dog a bone?"
Emma chortled, "We kissed, okay? But then she pretty much threw me out and it's weird now."
Ruby whistled, "Shiiiiiit. That sucks. She comin' out with us this weekend?"
Emma winced, "Yes. Maybe. I dunno. She agreed to go out before the kiss happened so I'm not sure where we stand right now. She had me pick Henry up this morning because she wasn't feeling well. Henry said she's having nightmares again."
Ruby placed a bearclaw in front of Emma and frowned, "Nightmares?"
Emma sighed, "Yeah, I guess she has nightmares. I know I don't have to say this but, seriously, not a word of this goes beyond us. I like my face the way it is and don't need to fuck things up with Regina."
"You really like her, don't you?'
"She's Henry's mom."
"Cut the shit, dude. We both know that's not what I'm talking about."
Emma stared into her coffee, "Yes," she picked at the pastry, "I really do. Like, I want to bring her coffee and dance to old music with her and make her smile."
"That sounds like a lot more than a crush, dude."
"Yeah, well, it's all gone to shit since she booted my ass out last night."
"Do you know what happened?"
Emma's eyes darted side to side, "I can't explain it here. Too many people."
Ruby shrugged, "I'll bring lunch by the station and you can fill me in then."
Emma nodded, "That'll work. Can I get a coffee to go and a bag?"
"Sure thing! Be right back."
The day was warm but had a bite of cold in the wind, evidence that autumn was coming soon. Emma loved this type of weather. It wasn't too hot to wear her jacket or a hoodie but it was just cold enough in the mornings to see your breath. By the time she arrived at the mayor's office, she'd shrugged off her jacket and had finished the pastry.
"May I help you, Sheriff Swan?" The receptionist greeted her.
"Morning, Mrs. Potts. Is Regina in yet?"
"I apologize, Sheriff. She hasn't arrived yet."
"That's cool. Do you mind if I drop this in her office?" She held up the coffee cup.
"That would be alright. The door is unlocked, go ahead."
"Thanks!"
The room smelled like sweet perfume and dusty books. Emma flipped the light switch and the room illuminated with bright light. She crossed the room and rounded the mayor's desk, opening a drawer to find a pen. Using a fine-tipped sharpie, Emma scribbled messily onto the cup and placed it on the desk by the computer.
"Thanks, Mrs. Potts!" Emma said, closing the door behind her.
"You're welcome, Sheriff. Would you like me to tell the Mayor you left the coffee?"
"No, that's okay. She'll know."
"You have a good day then, Sheriff."
"You too. Don't let her give you too much hell." Emma said with a wink.
"Likewise, Sheriff Swan!" The older woman called after her.
Regina pulled into her designated parking space and shut off the Mercedes-Benz. Prior to leaving the mansion, she had seriously considered working from home for the entire day. Unfortunately, all the documents she needed were on her work computer. The sound of heels echoed off the hallway walls, fast and full of purpose.
"Good morning, Madame Mayor."
"Good morning, Mrs. Potts. How was your weekend?" Regina returned the secretary's smile.
"Uneventful, just the way I like it. Yours, ma'am?"
"It was… Interesting."
"I see." The secretary nodded knowingly.
"I won't be in the office for very long today. I just came in to gather a few files. Can you print the masquerade ball file for me, please?"
"Of course. I'll have it on your desk in less than 10 minutes."
"Thank you, Mrs. Potts. You're an angel."
"Don't let anyone hear that, Your Majesty. Can't have folks think either one of us has gone soft." The older woman gave Regina wink and turned back to her computer.
The light to her office was on when she opened the door. Confused, she walked over to the desk where a lone cup sat. Sitting down at her desk, she pulled the cup towards her, recognizing the barely decipherable handwriting. That damn woman. She let out a quiet laugh and took a sip. The coffee was just the way she liked it, but somehow, she wasn't in the least bit surprised.
To: MaDAMN Mayor
From: The Idiot
