I DON'T OWN ONE PIECE! Or else Saya would be with!


"Listen. It is two men and one woman that is talking."

"We just heard it. Ready, Tashigi-san?", Rex spoke.

"Y-yes! I'm ready!"

Then the black snail phone started... "Krsch... Schhh... ...talking to?... ...Idiot, Mr. 3... ...princess Vivi... Straw Hat's... ...yet... Krsch... Krsch... ...Yes. Mission complete... Krsch..."

"Straw Hat's...!! The Straw Hat crew!!", Tashigi called out.

"That is correct. Even if it is a lot of disturbing we get out six important words here", Smoker spoke. "Princess Vivi, the Straw Hat, Mr 3, Miss Golden Week, Mr 0 and orders trough mail."

"Mr 0 and Mr 3...", Rex grumbled. "Can it have something to do with that Mr 11-guy that we captured in Luness yesterday?"

-

"Oooooooh!! NAMI-SWAAAN!! VIVI-CHWAAAN!!", he called out. "And the rest." I sweat dropped as he didn't thing the others where so important. "You made it!! I am so happy!"

"YATTA!! LUFFY-SAN!! ZORO-SAN!! VIVI-SAN!! YOU HAVE TO MEET MY PET!! HER NAME IS KAYRA!!", I called running over to them, followed by my pet.

"Oh! Sanji! Saya!", Luffy greeted.

"Lazy asses! So it is time to show up now!"

"But Usopp-san! I got lost, then I found that white house in the middle of nowhere, so I walked in and there I found tea, so I sat down and drank tea!", I smiled.

-

"Well, we just talked to Mr 0 a bit", I said. "And Kayra is cute, right Luffy-san?" I pointed at Kayra, that was standing beside Cauree, the dinosaur was as big as the duck.

"SUGOII!!", Luffy called out.

"Where the hell did you find a dinosaur as a pet?", Zoro grumbled.

"WHY DID I EXPECT YOU TO CHOSE SUCH WEIRD PET AS A DINOSAUR?!", Vivi yelled at me, then she paused as she realized what I said first. "...so you two just talked to MR 0...?!"

"Well, I guess", I shrugged it of. "He thought Sanji-san was Mr 3-san and that I was Miss Golden Week-chan."

-

"You know! One day, I promise!!I will travel to Elbaf and the Warriors village!"

-

"Yes... I have to get home", Vivi spoke to us. "It is the only way possible to save my kingdom now... I will survive and reach Alabasta...!! What are you doing by the way, Saya?"

"I'm sewing a winter-jacket to Kayra in case we arrives at a winter island. I can't allow her to freeze to death."

"I didn't know you could sew", Nami stated.

"Not me either", I grinned.

I sucked at sewing, actually, but now I seemed really good at it. My fingers moved at its own. I stared down at what I did, spacing out as I thought at what I've done before.

-

"Sure, Nami, I'll keep the...", she stopped as Nami collapsed. "Eh...? HURRY OVER HERE SOMEBODY! PANIC!!"

"What is it, Vivi?", Luffy asked.

"NAMI-SAN...!!", I called out. "SHE IS REALLY, REALLY SICK...!!"

-

"Is it hard to be sick?", Luffy asked.

"Well... I've never been sick so..."

"I've not been sick for a long time so I've forgot how it is to be sick..."

"WHAT ARE YOU FOR MONSTERS?!"

-

"Wait... How long did Nami-san go without anything at her chest beside the bra?"

"Well, a while before you arrived until we got to the ship... Why do you ask, Saya?", Vivi answered my question.

"IS SHE NUTS?!", I called out. "WALK AROUND IN A SUCH OLD FOREST SHOWING HER STOMAGE!! SHE COULD HAVE GOTTEN THE 5-DAY-SICKNESS!!"

"Is that so bad?", Luffy asked. "It does wear of after 5 days right?"

I hit my head in the wall.

"No, Luffy-san", I said. "After 5 days of that sickness you die. I really hope she didn't get it..."

-

"It is a bit cold today", the weird man spoke, and I stared at him. Kayra looked at him as well, as she got a double jacket as one.

"...yes, it actually is", Luffy agreed.

"Sure. Not only a bit. It is really cold!"

"Is it?", the weird man asked.

"Yeah, is it? I think it is really warm!", I spoke up as I wagged my tail.

"OF COURSE YOU THINK IT IS WARM, YOU HAVE FUR!!", Usopp yelled at me.

"I'm going to get headache", I stated. "AND DON'T YELL AT ME!! CAT-EARS IS MORE THEN DOUBLE AS SENSATIVE AS A HUMANS!!"

-

"He ate the knife? And Nami-san thinks my power is wicked", I grumbled. "That is just plane weird."

"We want to the Drum Empire", he spoke. "Do you have an Eternal Pose there, or a Log Pose?"

"No, we don't. And I've never heard about the Drum Empire..." I froze.

"Exactly! So be gone now!" Luffy.

"Oi, oi... Not the winter island Drum, right? The one known for their..." I stopped looking at Luffy. "Well, I'll take that later... When this idiot is gone. I hate winters. They are to cold."

"Well, it seems like the girl know about Drum..."

"Uh, beside it is being ruled over by a tyrant to a king, is a winter island and is known for something I'll take later, so no."

-

"They started to fight themselves", I heard the weird man say.

"Idiots. They are going to die now", I heard another voice.

I growled and grabbed two enemies and threw them right at those two, as I shouted: "I HEARD THAT YOU TWO IDIOTS!! IF WE ARE GOING TO DIE, SO WHAT?! WE AT LAST PULLED UP A FIGHT, AND WE WASTED OUR LIFES AS FAST WE BECAME PIRATES!!" Then I returned to my fight.

-

"Well? Who will go and look for a doctor? Or first of all, people."

"I will go!", Luffy held up his hand.

"I will go too!!", Sanji spoke.

"ME THREE!! ME THREE!!", I yelled as I where hyper. "And Kayra of course!"

-

They didn't seem mean.

But...

They where aiming weapons at us!


Chapter 9: Cute Man-Eating Rabbits Attack!

"There is people here!" Luffy...

"...but this doesn't look good..." Usopp...

"No duh! I still haven't figured out a shape to protect myself from the cold and guns!" Me...

"Can we beg you to leave this island at the moment!", a man, probably the leader, stated. That wasn't even a question about what we wanted! Bad thing to be a pirate sometimes...

"We came here to look for a doctor!" Luffy.

"We have a sick person here!" Vivi.

"We don't fall for such lies, you dirty pirated!", a random villager yelled. "this is our island! No pirates is welcome here! Disappear!! Or we will blow away your whole ship!!"

I pouted. "NO FAIR!! I CAN'T SWIM DAMN IT!!", I yelled back. "AND IF WE DON'T FIND A DOCTOR NAMI-SAN WILL DIE!!"

"Not good... Hate at the first look...", Sanji spoke.

"That isn't good at all...", I grumbled, creating a thin armor under my cloths.

"STOP MUMBLE!!", a random villager yelled and shot.

I blinked as the bullet hit the deck where Sanji's right foot had been a moment before. Usopp yelled that he shoot, I got up at my legs, Zoro drew his sword, and Sanji got angry. As Sanji charged, the villager loaded his gun and Vivi stopped him. I moved in between Vivi and the villager as he shot, and I got hit by the bullet, making me collapse. It hurt as hell, since the armor might have been a little to thin.

"SAYA!!", Luffy yelled.

Sanji's eyes widened and Kayra screeched high in her winter cloths.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" Luffy sounded furious.

As the crew began to charge I got up and Vivi stopped them.

"No! You can't fight here!", Vivi yelled.

"I'm fine, Luffy-san", I spoke up as I stretched my arm. "I had a thin, transformed armor between, but it hurt like hell. I think the armor was a bit to thin... I'll make it thicker next time. You go, Vivi-san. I'm not good at diplomatic, my things goes as 'I'll kick your ass if not...' or 'I'll prank you if not...'."

Vivi smiled at me and nodded, then she... Bowed? "We promise... We will not go at your island...!! But can you call on a doctor? My friend has a high fever! Please help her!!"

I smiled. Vivi burned them hard there, and I looked at their shocked faces, completely forgetting about the pain in my shoulder.

"Vivi...!!" Our idiot captain, of course...

"You are a ridiculous captain, Luffy! You can't solve some things trough anger...!!", Vivi told Luffy. "If you start fighting here what will happen to Nami then?"

Luffy looked up and spoke... "Sorry. I did wrong." Then he bowed as well, to the villagers big chock and i shock my head. "I beg you. Get a doctor. Please, save our friend!"

There was a long silence, and I stood beside Kayra. Then the weird man spoke that we got to go to the village. Until...

"But I warn you...", he spoke. "We have just one doctor... A witch!"

My eyes started shining.

"Awesome!! Witches are awesome!!"

That gained sweat drops from the villagers and Zoro looked at them, before he shrugged.

"Excuse her, she is a little weird..."

As we walked I looked at the huge, sharp weapon at the mans back, wondering how you possible could use it, deciding that I had to ask.

"This kingdom hasn't a name yet", he told Vivi.

"A kingdom without name?", Vivi asked him. "Is that even possible?"

"It is, since we are in one now", I said, using real logic for once.

"GAAAAAAAA!! A BEAR!! PLAY DEAD EVERYONE!" Usopp...

The man explained something as he bowed, and I bowed as well. Then I waved at the bear.

"Bye bye, Hiking Bear-san!" Then I turned to the man. "That was one cute bear! Right, Kayra?"

The dinosaur walking beside me nodded. Soon we arrived at a village. With cute animals and a furry hippo... That I wanted to hug. A huge hug, and put my face into the warm fur...

"This is... Our village", the man told us.

"It walks a lot of weird animals here!" Luffy.

"A real snow kingdom!" Usopp.

"THE ANIMALS ARE SO CUTE!! I EXPECCALLY WANT TO HUG THE FURRY HIPPO!!" Guess who?

"Nami-san! We arrived in a village! There is a lot of people!" No, not me. I should talk about the cute animals. It was Sanji.

"Thank you, guys- Back to your posts", the man said.

"Do you make it at your own with the pirates, Dalton?" Oh, so his name was Dalton! Wait a second...

"It is the Straw Hat crew, not 'the pirates'! 'The pirates' is a too random word, guys, if you used that word it could be any pirate crew that exist!" Me.

"They don't seem to want us any harm. I think so. Trust me." Dalton.

"Wasn't that the lands..." I didn't get the last word of what Vivi said.

"Just villagers", Dalton answered. "Follow me."

Then I turned around to se Luffy and Usopp bow for a huge woman they thought was a hiking bear. I sighed and hit them on the head.

"Since Nami-san can't do this I have to!", I yelled at them. "That wasn't a hiking bear! It's just a huge woman!! Hiking bears are cuter!" I crossed my arms and pouted as I said the last statement.

Soon we where inside of a nice house and I undid my transformation much till Dalton's chock. He told us to place Nami at a bed and soon we told him how sick Nami was.

"It is becoming worse all the time. She can die anytime, unless it is the sickness I think it is, then she just has a couple of days... But I don't know what to do against that sickness. We need a doctor! Where is that witch?!"

"The witch...?", Dalton asked. "Can you see the mountain outside?"

We all looked through the window and saw... A huge, badly made snowman. I stared.

"Luffy made that snowman", I stated. "No question about it. I make really small and cute snowbirds or snow-cats, not snowmen."

Soon he told us about the castle. I didn't really listen.

"The kingdoms only doctor lives there... Doctor Kureha... But people call her 'The Witch'..."

Kureha... It almost sounded like Kurenai. I stopped my thoughts. No, she was over a hundred years old, Kurenai was just over 30. And Kurenai was a woman in Naruto. I heard Sanji ask that they should call her down. Dalton answered, Sanji got chocked.

"She is a good doctor but a little weird... And soon 140 years old. She likes..." I ignored that part.

"Don't worry about the weird part. Some of the people in our crew are weird", Vivi told him, glancing at me.

"I know I am weird and plain crazy, but I am proud of it", I answered with a grin. "And I am sure that there is weirder people then me!"

Then Vivi asked some question...

"Sometimes she comes down from the mountain, look for patients and cures them. And as payment she takes everything she wants from the house."

"What an evil woman." Usopp.

"She is like a pirate!" Luffy.

"Don't talk like that, Luffy! We are pirates, remember? And I think she sounds even more awesome like that!" Me.

"But how can a old lady like her come down?" Vivi.

"It is a rumor... People say that they've seen her come flying down in a..." I didn't listen more, but looked up. Then i grinned.

"Sounds like Santa Claus for me!", I smiled. "Flying reindeer's! But she takes the presents in place of giving them! AWESOME!!"

I saw Luffy and Nami decide that they where going to climb the mountain, and soon...

"Yatta! We are going to climb a mountain! Wait. Climb? Mountain? That's high isn't it? I'm afraid of highs!!"

"I'm going crazy! Such captain, such navigator and tactician!"

"Hey!! Where did I come in into the whole thing?! I'm just afraid for highs!"

"Do you understand how dangerous it is, Nami-san?" No. Not me. I'm sulking in a corner over that it is going to be high...

"Ossan, can we get meat?"

"...meat?"

"...meat? I want food too!! Lots of food!!"

"Nami, are you sure? It is going to take hours!"

Soon we where outside, and I was standing behind Dalton in my Neko Onna shape. Then he told us something...

"If you are serious about this I will not stop you. But climb up at the other side. At this side there is Lapines, wild man-eating rabbits. If you meet a bunch of those you are dead!!" Vivi paled.

"You shouldn't have told them that..."

"Why not?", he asked her.

"YAY!! SCREW THAT IT IS HIGH!! I WANT TO SEE CUTE RABBITS!!"

"That is the reason", Vivi told him. "I had a feeling that she should say something like that..."

"You said that Lapines is man-eating albino rabbits, right Dalton-san?", I asked Dalton with stars in my eyes. "Right?"

He nodded. "Yes..."

"CUTE LAPINES HERE I COME!!" Yes, that was me again.

Then we started to run. Fast.

"Well then, come, Sanji, Saya!! Fast, before Nami dies!" Yes, that was our idiotic captain.

"DON'T SAY THINGS THAT GIVES US BAD LUCK, IDIOT!!" Our cook...

"YAY!! NOW I GET TO SEE LAPINES!! I'M GOING TO SEE THEM!!" And a idiotic tactician with armor-clad arms. Me. With a dinosaur flying over me.

Behind us three people looking after us...

"Can I dare to hope?", Dalton asked.

"Yes... Those three always makes it...", Usopp stated.

"It's just the question if Nami can make it...!! I really hope so...", Vivi spoke up.

Geez, have some fate, people!

Somewhere else we've made it half way up to the mountain, while Luffy and Sanji discussed about his sandals. And Luffy said police to policy. Then I started to laugh my ass off. Then we got attacked. by a cute bunny, while the others avoided it I didn't even notice it but just ran. And at last Sanji kicked away the rabbit. I saw it then.

"So cute it was!!", I squealed. "But you shouldn't have kicked it! It will come back with the huge, cute rabbits now!" Or so I hoped. Almost up wa stopped as we got stopped by lots of furry albino man-eating rabbits. I blinked. "SO CUTE!!"

Cute, big rabbit attacked and we avoided. I danced around them as they attacked us until one of them got a really god clawing at me. It did go trough my iron armor as if it didn't exist and gave me a deep wound in my arm. I yelped and delivered a blow to its head. Then we ran as idiots, with the Lapines after them. But still, even if they chased us and we had to run for our lives, they where so damn cute!! Soon they stopped and started bouncing, making me squeal again.

"What are they doing?", Luffy asked.

"I that tough they where going to chase us", Sanji stated. "And so they started with something there..."

"Well, actually it should be able to start a... Oh shit... Those cute lapines are really mad at us... We need to run, fast and far away..." I felt their looks at me. "THE KAWAII LAPINES ARE STARTING A LAVINE!!"

With that I became a centaur and started to run.

"THOSE DAMN RABBIT-ASSES WILL GET THAT BACK! I PROMICE!!", Sanji yelled as they ran beside me.

"WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO, SAYA?!", Luffy yelled back.

"I HAVE NO IDEA!! LOOK FOR A MOUNTAIN OR SOMETHING!!", I yelled as I ran with Kayra over my head. "HENGE: TENSHI!!" With that I grew four angel-wings, got real legs and left from the ground, but I still looked like a half cat half human.

"FIRST PRIO IS NAMI! SECOND IS NAMI, THIRD AND FOURTH IS NAMI! AND FIFTH IS SAYA! PROTECT NAMI WITH YOUR LIFE!" Sanji. Wait, wasn't the fifth Nami? Why me?

"I KNOW! BUT HOW?!" Luffy.

They found a place, ran up on it, and found themselves dragged with the snow. I called out their names, as we where attacked by the Lapines. They found a tree and stood on it, until they crashed with something... Or Sanji did as he threw Luffy and Nami of to save Nami. He crocked with a Lapin as I caught him with one arm and dragged him up at the mountain. Then I yelped.

"Where did the cute rabbit go?", I asked as I did fly to look for the lapin.

At last it stopped and I found the lapin and a small one trying to dig it up. I landed beside it and patted it at the head as I Grabbed the lapins arm and somehow dragged the huge body up. Then I lifted and flew back to the other two to keep walking and the older rabbit looked after me. We soon regained a huge bit of what we already walked, me flying and the other two walking, Sanji seemed to be really hurt. At last we heard voices: But they weren't the voices we wanted to hear...

"Vapol-sama! There they are!", a familiar voice called out and my cat-ears snapped, I looked over my shoulder. "YOU WILL DIE!!"

Soon the way was cut of by a big, furry hippo. I blinked.

"If the hippo weren't a enemy, I should hug it", I stated with a smile.

"Stop there! Now, you impolite bastard, you will pay for your...", Vapol started to ramble, but just as he stated that both Sanji, that at last found it to be carried by me as I had to grow two extra arms to carry him, and Nami seemed half-dead he stopped, staring at me. "That girl didn't have four arms and wings last time we saw her, right?", he asked at random.

"I didn't", I stated back. "But you can't catch a target that can fly... Come, Luffy-san..."

We passed Vapol and ignored him when he yelled at us to stop. Then I heard Vapol speak...

"I just came up with a new law, Chess! Write it down. The one who ignores the the king will die." I paled. "FIRST ARE YOU GOING TO KILL THE SICK PERSON AND THE HARMED ONE BECAUSE THEY IGNORES ME THE MOST!"

They attacked as we had to dodge. The Afro-guy attacked Luffy as the other guy attacked me with arrows. They disappeared and Luffy almost walked into Vapol's mouth. The other two attacked Luffy from both sides, just to be knocked away by two Lapines.

"LAPINES?!", Vapol yelled.

"THEY HELPED HIM?!" Afro-dude.

The other guy stated something weird, as Luffy noticed me where I flew over my new Lapine friend: The one I drew up from the snow, with his kid at the back. I flew with Luffy as I yelled:

"THANKS FOR THE HELP, RABBIT, PAL!!"

We arrived to the mountain soon and i stared up as I became pale. "Let's get going, Luffy-san", I shuddered. Then I started to fly with Luffy... Three hours later we where almost at the top. I carried Sanji as Luffy was climbing with Nami at his back. We arrived at the top of the mountain.

"We are here", I smiled as I fell down from the sky, collapsed half-way to the top of the castle. "What a beautiful castle..." Everything started to be dark. "No... Energy..."

As Luffy collapsed the snow he was on started to fall down. He was captured by someone. I smiled. It was Chopper. With that I blacked out.

When I woke up I was at a bed. I sat up and noticed I still was shape shifted, so I changed back to normal shape and got up, starting to look around, then i noticed Chopper.

"Hi there! My name is Saya! How is my friends? No, I can look at them! Show me where they are, please!" I did my best puppy dog pout. He nodded.

"S-sure... Follow me... A-and I'm Chopper..."

And I did. The first room I got into was where Luffy and Sanji where. They where sleeping. Luffy mumbled about meat as Sanji seemed to dream about women. No surprise here. I smiled and walked out to Chopper, and looked at him.

"They will be fine. Alright. Where is Nami-san? The girl. Is she alright?"

"Yeah", Chopper nodded and showed me to a room where Nami where. She sat up.

"Hi, Saya. Who are the other one?"

"His name is Chopper! He is cute! And he can talk!" Then Chopper starting doing his weird dance saying 'I'm not cute! Shut up! Your asshole!', which made me smile. "KAWAII!!" I hugged him

"Yeah, he sure can!" We looked over to see Doctor Kureha. And she didn't look like 140, she looked like 50. I paled and released Chopper.

"We got another Tsunade here", I mumbled, not hearing whatever she said. "Another Tsunade..."

"I'm a doctor! Doctor Kureha!" I stopped listening there.

"Doctor... So... This is..." Nami.

"How can I look so young?" Nami answered with a 'No, I haven't asked that'. "That's right! You are in the castle at the mountain!"

"...but then there was two others with us?"

"Luffy-san and Sanji-san is sleeping in the room next to ours. Luffy-san dreams about meat and Sanji-san about women. Not really a surprise there...", I smiled. "But..." This made Nami look worried at me. "I don't get why female doctors look so much younger then they are!!" This gained a huge sweat drop.

"How many other doctors do you know?", Nami asked.

"I know about one more besides Kureha-san. Her name is Tsunade. She is 50 years old, but looks like she is between 20 and 30..."

Nami sweat dropped. "Weird..."

"Sure is!"


Next Chapter: Kureha shows Nami what the sickness is. And she is really scary, actually. Keep away from Tsunade's!! I mean it! They may look much younger then they are, but they are scary! And then Vapol shows up while I'm playing chess with Nami! DAMN KING!! GO TO HELL!!