Near was not at all surprised by the boy's inquiry upon his appearance – in fact, he had been expecting it. That did not, however, mean that he was well-equipped with dealing with children and their feelings. When the director took a moment to kindly answer the boy's question and explain that their biological father was here to claim them instead of what would have been their adoptive father, the boy's immediate response left Near without any knowledge of how to handle the situation. As a result, all he could do was stand back and observe while the following exchange occurred.
"NO!" the boy cried, squeezing in closer to his sister, his eyes wide and containing an array of volatile emotions, "I don't want to go with him! I want to go with Matsuda!"
"I can understand why you might feel that way," said the director in a gentle but firm tone, "But this man is your father. By law, he is-…"
"I don't care! I want to go home with Matsuda!"
"Young man-…" the director said slowly, "Your father will be taking you to your new home."
"I don't want a new home! I want to go home with Matsuda!" he protested.
"We cannot send you home with Matsuda."
"Then I want to go home with my mom!"
The director sighed, but remained patient and kind. "I am sorry that your mother can't take you home, son."
"Yes, she can," the boy insisted, rubbing his eyes while his voice wavered, "She just has to come back for us."
Near watched as the director rose from his seat, reached out towards the boy, and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. "I am sorry that she cannot come back for you. We would send you home with her if we could. But your father is here and he wants to take you home."
Whatever semblance of control the boy had over his emotions was all at once gone. Near and the others could only watch as he shook his head, roughly pulled away from the director, and melted away into tears and loud, gasping sobs. "I'm not going with him! I want Mom! I want to go home!"
The director pressed his lips together and tried again, "Young man-…"
But the boy roughly pulled away from him again, absolutely refusing to cooperate. "No! Leave me alone! I want Matsuda! I want Mom!" He kept repeating these words while ripping himself away at any and all attempts to contain him.
Near could feel all of Lidner's concern exuding from the woman as she remained standing behind him. Of course, she and the rest of his team had expressed their doubts and concerns when Near first revealed to them that he would be submitting himself to DNA testing in order to gain custody of the children. Beyond their concerns about making such a risky move as far as keeping his identity concealed, they also expressed great concern over how the children would react to suddenly being taken in by a man claiming to be their father, a father they had never known. Also, none of them had any experience dealing with children – none like this, anyway – so he understood their concern. He felt a little anxious himself over the whole ordeal, even more so now as he played witness to the boy's total and utter meltdown. He had never second-guessed any of his decisions before – not even keeping the truth about the Kira case from Sayu – but second-guessing his decision now was precisely what he was doing.
For what felt like several long minutes, the room was nothing but a cacophony of the boy's uncontrolled wailing and the director's futile efforts at calming him down. The girl had been silent and still throughout the entire debacle and was obviously trying her best to look as calm and composed as possible. She then ended her silence by turning to her brother and saying, "Soichiro."
The boy turned to look at her, his jaw quivering as he gasped for breaths between sobs.
"We should go with him."
The boy swallowed hard, inhaled a shuddering breath, and said, "Why?"
"Because we don't have a choice," she said.
"Why not?"
"He is here because he has proven himself as our father. He would not be here for any other reason," she explained. "And whether we go with him willingly or he takes us by force, we will have to go with him. Let's just go and then later we will think of a way of going to stay with Matsuda." She paused a cut a brief, but piercing, look at Near before returning to her brother, "I am sure he will do everything he can to get us back."
The boy appeared to be thinking over his sister's reasoning for a moment, and then he muttered, "..Is he really our dad?"
"Yes."
For a moment, the boy looked back and forth between his sister and Near, his lips still trembling, and then let out a loud, watery sigh followed by a sniffle. "O-Okay…" he conceded, looking defeated but apparently willing to go along with his sister. Clearly he was trusting of her above all others – which only made sense.
It took Near a moment to react after witnessing such an emotionally charged display, but when he did, he turned his attention back to the director, "I assume they are all packed and ready to go?"
The director gave a single nod and gestured towards two small suitcases. "Yes they are, Mr. River. I wish you and your children all the best." He then gave a polite bow and resumed his position from behind his desk.
Mr. River. Now that was an odd way for him to be addressed, even if it was technically correct. Thankfully, though, he would never have to be addressed that way again.
"Lidner," said Near, stepping aside to allow her entry into the room. "Please assist the children with their belongings and let us be on our way."
Before approaching the children, Lidner gave him a look, which prompted him to explain to the children, "Lidner is one of my assistants. I can assure you she is entirely trustworthy."
Neither of the children said anything, but instead watched Lidner with wary eyes as she approached them and offered to take their bags for them. They quietly allowed this, but the moment Lidner made a move to relieve the girl of her violin case, the girl reacted by holding the instrument against herself protectively and glaring at the woman. Lidner immediately apologized and backed off.
"Our transport is waiting just outside. Come along," Lidner instructed, leading the way with Near bringing up the rear.
Their odd little train led them past a group of children who were gathered in the hallway. Each of them stopped what they were doing to stare at the group as they marched by. Near noted that neither of his children acknowledged the attention from their peers, but in the same token, he also did not pay any mind to the mutters about his own appearance.
Once they reached the exit, Lidner arranged the bags in her arms and held the door open for Near and the children. They seemed surprised by the appearance of the limousine waiting there for them, at least enough for them to pause just outside the door and not take another step until they were beckoned by Lidner. She again opened the door for the three of them, and the two children hesitated, sharing an apprehensive look between themselves, before quietly climbing in.
Near hesitated himself just outside the limo, until Lidner said, "I can sit wherever you would like for me to sit, Near."
Near gave a curt nod and then climbed in after the children, where he waited in awkward silence for Lidner to finish loading the suitcases into the trunk. For the first time ever, he felt an immense sense of relief that she was able to read him well enough to know to join them in the back of the limo before informing Gevanni that they were ready to go.
Awkward was both the most accurate and the most understated way of describing the ride that took place afterwards. If ever there was a time Near wished he had something for his hands to do, now was the time. The girl seemed to be having the same issue, but at least she had the latches of her violin case to fiddle with, whereas Near had nothing but his hair. That would have to do, at least until they all got back to headquarters.
During this time, no one seemed to know where to look – except for Near, who was taking this time to observe a great deal of things about his children. Lidner and Near sat on one side of the seats, facing forward, while the children sat on the other, facing the rear of the vehicle. There was ample room in the back seat, and while Near and Lidner sat with an empty seat between them, the children chose to sit as closely to each other as possible. He supposed that was normal, with them being twins on top of being siblings, and on top of being in a strange situation with people who were essentially strangers to them.
He could hardly believe that this was happening. Just a few weeks ago, he was in the United States looking into "copycat" Kira cases, and now here he was, with his two previously unknown children sitting directly across from him. They were here, with him, going back to his new headquarters where they would be staying with him for at least the next few weeks while he and Roger made preparations to have them transferred. It didn't matter that their time with him was temporary – they, his children, were here, sitting right across from him, and their existence was just as mysterious to him as the reasons why their mother had kept them a secret from him. Of course he understood the biological logistics of their existence, but there was still something.. surreal.. about the fact that the two children sitting across from him were his.
For whatever reason, his eyes seemed to want to examine the boy first. Well, not for "whatever" reason – he knew it was because the boy did look an awful lot like his uncle… but that was only at first glance. Now that the boy was in such close proximity, Near noticed that there really was much more of himself in the boy's features than he initially saw. His facial structure was rounder; his skin tone was lighter; his hair was messier; his eyes were softer-… Well, maybe that last bit did not necessarily apply to Near with everything he had been told about the look in his own eyes, but the boy definitely did not have the same calculating look that his uncle had. While he was obviously in an aggrieved state for equally obvious reasons, Near could still tell that this boy was not the least bit like his uncle in nature, or even the least bit like Near himself. There was something more gentle and fragile about him, something which reminded him greatly of the boy's mother…
…Something which the girl apparently wanted to protect, because when Near turned his attention to her, he found that she was already looking back at him. Any hardness that was absent from the boy stood out in stark contrast in the girl. Her eyebrows were drawn together and her lips were pressed together firmly, creating a reproachful look that reminded him of someone else altogether.
"Didn't your mother ever teach you that it's rude to stare at people?" she reprimanded, gaining the astonished attention of both her brother and Lidner.
If Near himself felt at all jarred by being admonished by a ten-year-old, he did not let it show. Unlike being completely lost when it came to dealing with the emotions of others, confronting behavior such as this was actually something with which he was well-equipped.
"No," he said calmly, as if her question or its implications had no effect on him, which it may as well not have for all the girl knew. Plus it was the plain and simple truth and he saw little point in elaborating any further than that.
She blinked at him a couple times, as if she had not been expecting such a frank answer, before setting her jaw again. "Well, it's rude," she sniffed and then turned her attention back to the window and the scenery that was passing by outside of it.
That did not stop Near from casting surreptitious glances in their direction, though. He continued watching them, their mannerisms, and their interactions with each other until the girl suddenly sat up straighter from her position by the window. She must have recognized their surroundings. She glanced back at Near, apparently no longer bothered by his staring, and then she nudged her brother, causing him to look up and peer over her shoulder so that he could also see outside the window.
"We're going home?" he inquired.
"..Did you buy our house?" the girl chimed in, appearing just as confused – and hopeful – as her brother.
"Not quite," he replied, although in all actuality he did buy their house – he had done so simply to use it as a decoy residence for applying to claim the children and had no intentions of staying there. "We will be stopping by your former home to gather your belongings, and then we will head back to headquarters." He caught a glimpse of a look from Lidner, one that he interpreted as meaning he needed to elaborate, and added, "To what will now be your home."
Both of the children's expressions fell.
"..But I don't want a new house!" the boy moaned, and Near braced himself for another tantrum.
"It is not a house, per se," he explained, deciding that being direct and to the point would be best, "Although it does include all the comforts of home."
"..But why can't we stay at our house?"
There were many reasons why they would not be staying at what was once the Yagami home, not the least of which was issues with security, but Near's simple answer was, "Because it no longer is your house."
For a moment, the boy looked like he was about to launch into another fit, but the girl assured him that it would be okay and he instead fell back into silence.
As the car was rolling to a stop in front of the house, Near said, "Lidner, I will need for you to please go with the children and assist them with gathering their belongings."
"What?" his female agent blurted before she could stop herself, "Near-.. Wouldn't it be appropriate for you to come with us?" She glanced at the twins, who were watching the adults expectantly. "I mean, the children-…"
"No, it would not," he stated, his expression as placid as ever, although inside he felt a strange, tightening sensation in his chest, the same he felt all those years ago when things had first ended between he and Sayu.
There was a torrent of unspoken, unexpressed thoughts and feelings and, for all his verbal eloquence, Near could not possibly begin to explain how he was feeling at that moment. Something inside of him labelled the feeling as "grief", but really he felt it ran much deeper than that. It wasn't just meeting his children for the first time; it wasn't just the dissonance he felt knowing that Sayu had kept them from him all this time; it wasn't just the horrible, ripping, painful knowledge that she was dead (murdered) and that now it was 100% that he would never see her, never speak to her, never hold her again; and it wasn't just the fact that her relationship with Matsuda had been more than just a friendship, making red hot anger boil inside of him until it threatened to burst forth and he felt he might not be able to stop himself from trying to kill the other man.
It was all of those things and more. He did not think he could handle seeing where she had moved on with her life, moved on without him. He did not think he could continue to keep himself composed were he to see the place where she had, until recently, lived with and raised their children; where she had sat down in the evenings to sort through her mail; where she had prepared meals for her family; where she had curled up on the sofa with their two strange, beautiful children and watched television dramas; where she had gone to sleep at night, possibly with other men after himself (fucking Matsuda of all people!); where she and their children had lived their lives without him, while he had all but wasted himself away becoming...
Becoming what? L? The World's Greatest Detective? Or was he and his team the world's clean-up crew at this point? They hadn't solved a real puzzle in who knew how long. The world just did not seem interested in that anymore - it only seemed interested in drawing up sides either for or against Kira, as it had since even before Kira's defeat, obsessing over whether he would return, and taking it upon themselves to punish people they deemed evil. Over a decade after the bastard's death, and the world was still turned upside down because of him. The world had continued its steady decline over the years, and, in a way, had taken Near down with it. The world was a candle burning itself at both ends and he was loathe to admit that he had years ago grown bored and tired of running around and trying to put out all the fires.
Crime rates had gone back up, exponentially worse now that Kira's faulty ideals had drawn the most degradant crowd of cowards out of the woodwork, all claiming to have God's permission to murder anyone who did not fit into their own narrow idea of perfection. It was an eventuality that Near was sure that Yagami had not counted on, not that it mattered because that fucking bastard had started all this in the first place and now he was forever free of all responsibility for his actions. Not that Near saw any crime as much more than a puzzle to solve, but this was not what he had signed up for back at Wammy's when he strove to become the next L. Cleaning up after the games between the first L and Kira, and playing the role of janitor to a dying human ecosystem was not what he had wanted at all.
All the while, his first and only real friend, the only person he had ever opened himself up to, had moved on and made something with her life, had devoted herself to raising two children on her own. No, not on her own - she had had the help of others, others where it should have been him. This had all been stolen from him, and sitting there, sitting right across from him, was all that remained of her – of Sayu. Two physical reminders of her betrayal. He felt cheated and he felt suckered, like all the things he had ever wanted and worked for suddenly meant nothing and like all the things he never knew he had wanted were taken from him before he even had a chance to decide for himself.
So, go into her house…? There was no way that was going to happen.
Resisting the urge to tug violently on the lock of hair he was currently twirling, he forcibly calmed his breathing and said, "Please make haste. The sooner we can get back to headquarters, the better. I will wait here with Gevanni."
Satisfied by the lack of questions, he finally tore his gaze away from the children, no longer able to look at the little boy who had his face, but his uncle's eyes - eyes that had once pierced him with hatred and had wanted him dead, but were now filled with tears; or the little girl who was almost a carbon copy of her mother, but had his own eyes - eyes which continued to glare at him in a way that left him feeling vulnerable and exposed.
As Lidner helped the children out of the car, he heard the whimper of his son's small voice, "He's so mean."
Just a quick note - I'm sorry if this is coming across as character bashing against Matsuda and/or Sayu. That is not what I am meaning to portray - I am wanting portray Near's thoughts, etc. on the situation. Anyway, hope you liked it, thank you again for reading, and as always feel free to ask questions. :3
