****Hey you guys I have to say, I really like reading your comments. Even the ones where I bite my lip and pretend not to be offended. Haha. But yeah, I realize sometimes pieces of plot may not be connected, but, as many a famous movie character has said (I'm pretty sure they have), "It will fall into place soon enough". Please keep reviewing and don't be afraid to bitch slap me with your words XD.
You say it's too late to make it, but is it too late to try? And in our time that you wasted, all of our bridges burned down…
The words of the song that Marley had been rehearsing only earlier that day now seemed so out of place. She could feel her empty stomach wrenching as Ryder stood across the room from her, looking just as nauseated as she felt. It wasn't that he had lied to her; after all, she had never thought to ask. But, in a way, Marley felt as if he was a stranger now, someone she barely knew. Someone she had yet to explore. And she wasn't sure if she wanted too.
"Should I break the silence first?" Ryder asked miserably, plopping down onto her bed. "Go ahead and hit me with the 'I don't know even know you, do I' part and then we'll get on with it."
Marley froze. How had he known what she was thinking? She took a cautious step his way and felt a sharp object prick her toe. It was a shard of glass from the other night when she had beaten her mirror to dust. Startled, she scooped it up in her hand and tossed in her trash can, listening with a wince when she heard it clatter against its brethren of remains. "I just…don't really understand what's going on. But, um, first question. Why were you both in my room?"
Ryder cocked his head, "Not sure about that bit. She texted me and said she was here, and then told me to get over here before she caused some damage. The front door was open when I came."
Marley nodded slowly, ingesting the information and feeling slightly terrified that someone could break into her house, "Okay," she inhaled deeply. "Next one." She fidgeted slightly, not quite meeting his eyes. "Is this…why you broke up with me? Because, if it is, that would help me to understand. I mean…it would be understandable."
"Marls!" Ryder exclaimed, shaking his head wildly as his hands formed an iron grip on her bedpost, "I. Didn't. Break up. With you." Why does everyone keep saying that?"
"Well…forget about it. We have different things to worry about." Marley took a seat by Ryder, turning his chin so he faced her. "Why didn't you tell me about your baby? I know it's your business, but…I wouldn't have judged. In fact, I don't judge now. Even after the two of you have had a screaming match inside my room."
He laughed, the smile never reaching his eyes and sighed, "Well…when I'm with you, all those mistakes that I made when I was younger. All of those crazy, split-second decisions I've come to regret, I don't really think about them. I don't look at you and feel this strange darkness sitting on me. I don't feel like it's wrong. Not like when I was with her."
"She seems broken," Marley murmured, "And, not that I don't think that it's wrong to have done what she did by coming back and causing all of this drama, but I can relate."
"How?" Ryder asked, hugging her slender body to his chest. Marley's breath froze as he held her close, but pushed him away after a few seconds. She needed to make him understand.
"Tami feels abandoned…alone and afraid of what she's feeling. She's hurt to the very core of her being. And it's too hard to fix now. So she tries to bury the pain…and when that doesn't work…there are outlets."
"Like having sex with other guys? That's healthy," Ryder scoffed.
Marley closed her eyes, slowly shaking her head, "It's her own way of punishing herself. She thinks if she's a whore or a slut, then she won't feel guilt anymore. That eventually, the sin of what she's doing will make her numb. And then she'll stop feeling. And then she'll be able to forget."
"Marls," Ryder sighed, "You think Tami's broken? And that deep? She's not-."
"Ryder," Marley said sharply, "I don't think. I know. And you wanna know how I know? It's because she feels the same way I do. I feel broken and alone and abandoned from the moment I wake up, until the moment I go to sleep." Marley jumped to her feet, her voice rising with anger and her eyes narrowing into slits. "I hate myself every second of every day, even when it doesn't seem like it. And laughter? And happiness? And trust? Those things, for me, are becoming as rare as rain in the desert. And I just," A rough sob wracked Marley's body and she pressed the heel of her palm against her forehead as her expression crumpled, "I just don't know what to do anymore."
Silence fell. Ryder watched as Marley silently shook, wiping away tears as she leaned against her dresser awkwardly. Finally, he stood and took her hand. "Marls," he murmured softly and she turned her face away. "Marls," he whispered, "C'mon, look at me."
"Why?" Marley asked, closing her eyes as another tear slid down her cheek, "So you can see how scared I am? How-?" Ryder gripped her chin firmly and turned her face back to his, kissing her lips softly, then kissing each of the fresh, salty tears tumbling down.
"Shhhhh," he whispered, pulling her close and holding her in a tight hug, his muscular arms wrapping around the small of her back. She could feel his balled fists at the base of her spine pressing into her skin. Ryder leaned his head down until his lips rested against her shoulder, still softly murmuring as he held her as time passed. Then, very quietly, he hummed softly, "The dawn is breaking. A light shining through. You're barely waking. And I'm tangled up in you."
"I'm open, you're closed. Where I follow, you'll go. I worry I won't see your face. Light up again."
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide
The tightly folded hug broke apart inch by inch, bit by bit, and Ryder smiled when he saw that Marley's tears had stopped. She looked up into his eyes and a small grin twitched at the corners of her lips.
"Even the best fall down sometimes," Ryder sang, louder now. He kept a hold of Marley's hand, swinging her arm gently as he continued, "Even the stars refuse to shine. Out of the back you fall in time. I somehow find. You and I collide. Don't stop here. I lost my place. I'm close behind. You finally find. You and I collide. You finally find. You and I collide." As the song ended, Marley sighed happily, but bit her bottom lip.
"I'm…not just going to get better, am I?" she asked sorrowfully, her hand cupping the back of her neck.
Ryder made a face like he was wincing, but smiled nonetheless, "Don't think so, Marls. But I know how we can start the process up." She raised her eyebrows, waiting for his idea. "I think the glee club could help."
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo Oo
"So, what's this about, Baby boo?" Kitty asked, hiding her pounding heart under her pink-and-white striped sweater. Jake smiled mischievously, an acoustic guitar dangling from around his neck.
"You sure you're ready for it?"
"As ready as I'll ever fucking be. You know when they say 'I'm not getting younger here?' Well, I'm starting to consider making that my life motto."
"Alright, alright," Jake said, laughing as he continued his slow circle around her living room. "This is my little way of saying…you can trust me?"
Kitty raised her eyebrows as she took a seat on her couch, but before she could say anything, Jake started to sing.
"The best thing about tonight is that we're not fighting. Could it be that we have been this way before? I know you don't think that I am trying. I know you're wearing thin down to the core."
But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find
Jake sashayed over to where Kitty sat and Kitty rolled her eyes, but an unmistakable smile was crawling across her lips, and she crossed and uncrossed her legs in an obvious show of discomfort.
"This is not what I intended. I always swore to you I'd never fall apart. You always thought I was stronger-."
Kitty scoffed.
"I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start-."
Here, a genuine laugh sparked from her lips and Jake gave her a playful "shut up and listen" glance.
"But hold your breath. Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you. Over again. Don't make me change my mind. Or I won't live to see another day. I swear it's true."
Jake looked up expectantly, his wide eyes blinking as he pulled his guitar over his head and placed it on her coffee table. Kitty blew on her manicure as if drying wet nail polish, making a clear show of ignoring his obvious search for approval.
"Did you like it?" he asked softly, sitting down and scooting closer until they were thigh-to-thigh.
"No, Caramel drizzle, I didn't like I hot piece of boy-candy serenading me about how I'm one of a kind."
"So you did?" Jake said, edging his way around her barbs.
Kitty laughed, "What ghetto school were you sent to? Yes, I like it. No matter how cliché the idea and how sucky Secondhand Serenade is."
"Alright, alright. Cut the shit, babe. Let me see past those titanium walls for like five seconds. Please?"
Kitty hissed angrily, but then relented, "Fine. And by fine, I'm referring to how you song was sexy fine. And it made me totally want to marry you."
"Cool," Jake said, clearly feeling very self-satisfactory,
"Don't let it go to your head yet," Kitty said, pulling herself from Jake's lap and standing up so she towered over him, both hands on her hips. "You still got a lot to prove before we cross the next milestone."
Jake stood up suddenly and Kitty tried to back away, her eyes never leaving his. He reached out and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her in close. "I'm up for that challenge." Then, dipping his head down, he kissed her, long and hard, his smile making it hard to keep it up. Under the pressure of their lips, he could feel her smiling too.
****Author's Note: Hey, you guys I kind of enjoyed making Ryder a little more…human this chapter. After all, no one's perfect. Eventually, obviously, there will be another Tami-filled chapter and I hope to slowly be able to bring Marley out of her struggles. Jake and Kitty romance is surprisingly fun to write and I hope you guys like reading it. At first, I thought I would make it all physical…but they deserve better right? Ha, hope you guys like this chapter.
Songs:
Payphone: Maroon 5 f.t Wiz Khalifa
Collide: Howie Day (My favorite as of this week!)
Fall For You: Secondhand Serenade
