My Angel

A Hey Arnold FanFic

Authors note: Special thanks to AdventureGirl6. I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it.

Chapter Nine: Proms and Dances

Gerald growled and moved to slam the door. If not for a sudden push forward into the door, forcing it open, Arnold might not have been able to use his hand again. Tumbling and scuffling over the carpeted entrance turned to grunts of anger and annoyance as Gerald wrestled with Arnold, whose entrance had given him a greater advantage. Although Gerald had spent a few years in high school training his body, his recent lack of movement rendered him incapable of stopping Arnold from pinning him to the wall.

"Get off me man!" Gerald yelled, struggling aimlessly against Arnold, whose body ached terribly as he felt the contents of his stomach lurch forward dangerously. His body would not be able to handle this level of stress yet.

"Gerald look at me. I'm trying to keep calm but I need to talk to you," Arnold pleaded.

"No way Arnold; I won't talk about her," Gerald shouted, his gaze turning from anger to fear, "I can't face her Arnold."

"Gerald this is ridiculous. I need to find Helga and you're the name she had written down. She mentioned the prom Gerald. We need to talk about what happened on prom night. I know that you two weren't exactly happy together that night."

Gerald's panic set in. Dashing towards the kitchen, Arnold made to follow only to trip over the carpeted floor. His ribs ached from his landing, but the hysterical cries from Gerald broke him from the self-sympathy. Pulling himself up, Arnold staggered into the kitchen only to find an empty room. Stomping above his head confirmed to Arnold where his friend had gone.

Clutching his side Arnold moved upstairs, searching each room with care until only one remained before him. A single door, brown oak with a small carving of a 'G' on it looked back at Arnold in its faded gold paint. He could hear the thumping, the soft whimpers and cries of his friend beginning to subside the longer it continued. Before he could help himself, Arnold opened the door and strode into the room.

Expecting to see a room in chaos and distress, Arnold was surprised by the cleanliness of the room before him. Neatly organised desk space, a spotless floor and a beautifully made bed. It all paled in contrast to the dishevelled appearance of Gerald, hair a mess, a trickle of blood flowing down the side of his hands and body curled up in a ball, hiding from Arnold in the corner of his room. Arnold kept his eyes firmly trained on his friend while he leant against the door, the last click of the handle shaking Gerald's curled form.

Although they had healed significantly, his tender touch of his ribs confirmed the bruising remained. Collapsing to the floor, Arnold panted for breath, knowing his body was not ready for more wrestling. Straining to look at his friend, Arnold heard shuffling before he heard another thud. His best friend had slumped to the carpet and began sobbing. Taking pity on him, Arnold moved into a sitting position. He knew better than most how much Phoebe's death had shaken him. For a while Arnold tried to regain the feeling in his ribs while Gerald sobbed openly, oblivious to the world around him.

But this...

Struggling to uncurl himself from the ball he had created, Gerald's eyes never wandered from Arnold as he moved his sagging form to sit on his bed. Arnold greatly appreciated the chance to sit. Heart pounding, he felt as though he'd been running for days, a fact his ribs were constantly reminding him of while he tried to breathe deeply. Every now and then Arnold would gaze around the room, trying his best to ignore Gerald's own erratic breathing.

Despite the passage of time, Gerald's prized moments remained on display for all to see. But Arnold noted sadly that they all seemed to end with a single photo frame placed ever so perfectly on Gerald's desk. He knew the photo well enough to know it had probably not been touched since that day.

But this…

Guessing it made sense for Gerald to spend his time cleaning and keeping it orderly, Arnold moved to the desk chair and sat down facing his friend who didn't move a muscle. Few people visited Gerald these days and for one reason: Phoebe. No one knew how to talk around him without his temper or pain catching the better of him. But he had to try and make some sense of his best friend; he needed to find out what had happened. He needed to find Helga…

"Your room looks nice Gerald. How have you been?" Arnold asked, hoping to try and defuse the anger Gerald began to seethe towards him.

"My room? Don't try to distract me Arnold. How do you think I am? It doesn't take a genius to realise that the one thing I don't want to talk about is Phoebe. Why did you have to go and bring her up?" Gerald groaned angrily.

"I need to know what happened that night Gerald. I need to find Helga," Arnold pleaded.

"Find Helga? I can't help you there."

Gerald glared and turned away. Mid-afternoon rays crept across the carpet towards the couch, warming Arnold's legs but leaving him confused and annoyed with Gerald's inability to want to talk with him.

D & F

Standing outside the door, Helga felt her heart race once more, trying to make peace with her choice. Realising now that it would have been easier to not talk about it, Helga lamented that even with Rhonda's help, no one could help her quite like Dr Bliss. Something about the door made her skin crawl at the thought of what she was going to find behind it. A familiar friend sat behind it no doubt; but that was years ago. Now, she was a shade of her former self. And it was with trembling fingers that she turned the knob and walked in.

A woman, once young and youthful now sat at her desk, greying hair hidden by the dye that was beginning to fade out. Whilst still youthful, wrinkles showed clearly as Helga walked towards the older woman. But those eyes, still so gentle and caring looked at her lovingly, welcoming her to sit down in the chair in front of her. Rhonda's presence behind her helped steel her nerve for the task, but by having her there was no escape. As a child, she had tried to outsmart the doctor; as an adult, she would have little chance of succeeding.

"I must say it's a pleasure to see you again Helga," Dr Bliss smiled, her look softening as Rhonda took a seat beside Helga. "It has certainly been a while, but you have grown so much."

"Yeah, thanks Doc," Helga replied, unsure as to how to take it.

"Come now Helga, even I can tell that you have matured into a wonderful woman, not to mention a most beautiful woman. How has your family been?"

Helga shivered, earning a frown from Dr Bliss. "I see. Anyway, why don't you make yourself comfortable on the couch. Don't get me wrong," she chuckled as Helga glanced nervously at the couch, "This isn't a session. There is a blanket there to keep you warm. I'm only here to talk to you about what you want to talk about."

"You promise that you aren't going to blast my brain open and try to pry out my most inner, deepest and darkest secrets?" Helga asked, fidgeting with her fingers as she eyed off the couch nervously.

"Not unless you want me to."

Nervously, Helga left the chair and wandered over to the couch, the brown leather seemingly so far off as she felt her legs giving way. As if her vision had narrowed out in front of her, Helga could only see the dread and fear within her line of sight, each bit warning her not to do this. It would be too hard; there was no turning back; she would be forever trapped; no one would love her; no one…

Bumping into the couch, Helga was surprised to find that her body had arrived there before her head. Collapsing onto the couch, she regained her composure and tried to push it to the back of her head as Dr Bliss and Rhonda came to join her. Although there was something about the way they moved towards her that scared her, she held down the desire to scream at the top of her lungs. Helga pulled the blanket up over herself and looked up at them and their questioning smiles.

"I see you've got yourself comfortable. Now, where would you like to start?" Dr Bliss asked politely.

Still conscious of what she would say, Helga gulped before trying to get her words out. "Well the thing is Doc, I…I…might be…"

"Take your time."

"I think…I think I'm messy. My mind feels messy. Everything I try to think about feels messy."

Dr Bliss nodded. "In what way do you think it is messy?"

Helga strained to describe what it felt or even looked like. On a rare occasion, she would chance thinking about what was going on in her head, but to question it went beyond sometimes simply asking where her inspiration to write came from. Perhaps it would be best to leave and try again another time.

"Have you noticed anything different about your memories in the last few weeks, months or even year?" Rhonda asked, breaking Helga from her stupor.

"Miss Wellington-Lloyd-"

"Dr Bliss we need to find out what has happened to Helga's memories-"

"In good time, we will-"

"Perhaps she needs different questions, different stimuli-"

"I'll ask the questions in here doctor, and if you would rather do this yourself-"

"ENOUGH!"

Rhonda and Dr Bliss turned to look at an exasperated Helga, breathing heavily and glaring angrily at the two of them. "Could you save the married couple arguing for another time and help me here?"

Both taken aback, Rhonda adjusted herself before Dr Bliss spoke. "We will Helga. Why don't you unclench your hands and we'll all start talking? I'll order some tea."

Pausing, Helga looked down and saw her two oldest weapons locked and ready to go, their twitching movement itching for first blood. She closed her eyes and mentally began to count backwards from ten, relaxing her grip ever so slowly, aware of the careful gaze Bliss kept over her.

"Tea please Claire...type? Earl grey, hot please," Dr Bliss whispered, quickly recommending a few other types before returning her full attention to Helga.

"For a young woman, I must say you've certainly done very well for yourself Helga. I doubt few people would be able to match you physically in a ring, let alone outside of it."

"Do you think I had a choice?"

"I never suggested-"

"When your own father can kill your mother, you'd want to quickly find a way of defending yourself. So yeah, few people can match me. And for a good reason." A soft click and the door to the room opened.

"And what might that reason be Helga?" Dr Bliss smiled, leaning forward to accept the tea from the woman Helga assumed was Claire.

"Survival Doc. Have you ever had to defend yourself against your own father?"

"I can't say I've had to."

"You haven't? Well try watching him storm the house, knuckles cracking and feet scrapping the floor as he moves towards the door that you know will only just hold out..."

Rhonda did her best to keep her face emotionless, but she couldn't help the rising pity and guilt she felt towards her friend. Helga had been through hell; her arguments with her own parents seemed to pale in comparison to the constant threat Helga lived with. To hurt your own child...

"Is this the memory or experience that troubles you the most Helga?" Dr Bliss asked, sipping away slowly at the tea in her hands.

"No... this was nothing compared to..."

Helga seemed to look off into the distance and shake her head. For a while she sat motionless and gazed at the window. Everything seemed to be easier when she let it go, let the thoughts drift off into the world from which they came, they're fleetingness a reminder that whatever she had held dearly seemed to drift away too...

"What she is trying to say is that she is worried about a memory she has. We were trying to discuss it, but she could not open up to me," Rhonda interjected.

"Thank you, Rhonda," Dr Bliss said, straining her voice to let Rhonda know that she did not want Helga to stop talking.

Helga's throat seemed to dry up as Dr Bliss looked to her, eyeing her carefully before nodding to her. "Take your time."

"I don't remember it all very clearly. But I think there could be a connection between what happened that night and…"

"Your friend."

Helga nodded and breathed deeply…

Prom Night…

Music drifted towards them like a tidal wave, the sheer power and might blowing her over as she tried to fix the flower on her wrist once more. Adjusting her pink dress, she wondered why she had ever agreed to go with this kid. The choice was beyond her reasoning now, but as she walked arm in arm into the prom room, she was sure she could hear some people snicker and others chuckle to themselves as Brainy smiled proudly. She was even sure that she could make out some of the whispers being asked about where Arnold was.

Arnold. The word was poison in her veins, a pain she wished nothing more than to be rid of. She had only gone with Brainy because Miss Perfect had snagged her deepest desire. The rumours that she was cheating on Arnold were probably true; but even Helga had some sympathy for the girl. Her boyfriend passing away in an accident, where she was made to watch would change anyone. Why she had to use Arnold of all boys though was not fair, least of all to Helga…

Shaking her head, she mumbled something to Brainy about grabbing some drinks and watched him scurry off, ever hopeful in pleasing his date. With the effort of a much older woman, Helga made her way to the seats lined around the basketball hall and sat down, brushing aside a stray hair as the lights in the room began to change colours and move around. Swirling and twirling, they were bright enough to make anyone hurl, but she managed to hold it down as her eyes scanned the crowd.

A few students here and there were dancing, while most were talking and thinking of what to do after spiking the punch. Harold had managed to snag Patty for a dance, running off laughing as Sid chased after him, holding his favoured cap in his right hand and demanding Harold clean it after spraying shaving cream into it. Stinky was standing proudest of all though; wearing his finest clothes, he was truly a wonder to behold. Even Helga couldn't help but smile; he had come so far and done so well; he deserved this night more than others.

Rhonda's sulking face was seen talking hurriedly with the rest of the girls, no doubt wondering when the crowned prince would arrive and whisk away the ball with his dancing. It was rumoured Arnold had been talking lessons for weeks now, and everyone, particularly Rhonda had been waiting to see whether he would stuff it all up and go down in history or wow the crowd. No word yet though as Rhonda appeared to laugh rather loudly.

A headache was dutifully forming in the back of her head, working its way around to the front as she saw a familiar friend walk towards her, her date in tow. Although she was positive that they were happy, something about Gerald's face gave away a slither of resentment and anger. But Phoebe's beaming smile wiped it all away as she embraced Helga in a bone crushing hug, something that Helga was unaware Phoebe was capable of. Gerald smiled softly as she broke away, smiling brightly as she kissed him on the lips.

Phoebe was stunning; wearing a black halter neck dress, with matching high heels, it cut off just below her knees and showed off the slim curves she had developed over the years. Gerald standing beside her was just as stunning, a feat Helga did not think was possible. Wearing dark pants, with a white shirt and tie, his black vest appeared so soft and silky that she was tempted to reach out and touch it. Just as she was about to say something, Brainy wandered over and handed her the drink, Helga standing up to receive it.

"Thank you Brainy," Helga managed to get out without punching him in the face. Even here he was trying to lean over her shoulder, with that annoying breathing…

"So, Helga, how have you enjoyed the night so far?" Phoebe asked, wrapping her arm around Gerald tightly.

"It has been a bore so far Phebs; hope something exciting happens or this might be the most boring night of my life."

"Surely you don't mean that Helga; studies show that all formal nights feature some form of excitement and entertainment- "

"Thanks Phebs," Helga groaned.

"Now I'm not normally a beating man Pataki, but what convinced you to go with Brainy?" Gerald smirked as Brainy wandered off towards the dancing.

Helga moaned inside; she wanted nothing more than to reach back and punch him out. "I made my choice; do you have a problem with it Hair boy?" she glared angrily.

"Gerald don't be rude to Helga; I'm sorry Helga, but Gerald did not mean it that way," she smiled sweetly, softening Helga's anger and unclenching her fists.

But as the music turned to thumping beats and roaring anthems, Helga tried to move away from the rest of the group, walking around aimlessly as Phoebe and Gerald moved to the dancing. Teachers patrolled the hall closely, walking along every now and then, smiling to the students and watching for any sign of problems. Helga could make out their old teacher Mr Simmons walking along smiling proudly. It would have to be said that it was a credit to his work all those years ago that the class had survived together for this long.

The music stopped. Everyone froze as the lights kept moving around, searching for someone in the crowd. Lights flashed over her momentarily. Helga dreaded what would happen as a soft song began to grow, the saxophone beginning to pound out its tune beautifully as the lights turned to the door. If her dread was bad before, it turned to terror as the door opened. A girl, dressed in green stepped forward, her dress flowing elegantly as she gracefully moved across the floor, her red hair flowing behind her majestically. But Helga's eyes turned to the young man walking in behind her.

Dressed in black, and favourite cap on his head, Arnold walked in coolly, calmly and collected. Tonight was the crowning glory and he was not here to let anyone down. If Helga could've kept her eyes on him without losing control she would have. And she wasn't the only one; every girl in the room had turned to see Arnold walk up beside Lila, take her hand and spin her around. With minimal fuss, they danced towards the centre, spinning and turning in perfect time to the beat as the saxophone roared to life, much to the cheering and joy of the crowd. Arnold spun around, catching her in her mid-turn and twirled around her, their passion turning to desire as Arnold ran away from her momentarily, slid down to the floor, his knees supporting him as he turned around in his slide.

Lila lifted the hem of her dress so slightly, flashing him a shot of her thigh as he ran back towards her. Helga's face burned with envy; he looked so happy, so in control of his life that she was envious of miss perfect. As the crowd cheered them on, for one moment, Helga's eyes met Lila's and time froze. In that one look Helga could see her own defeat and Lila's victory; worst of all, Lila knew it too. With a sly smirk, time raced forward again as Arnold pulled her close, tilting her down slightly as Lila kissed him quickly on the lips.

Rage, jealously; how dare she touch her love!

Helga's eyes spun dangerously as her arms tensed up; no one would get one up on Helga G. Pataki. But catching the eye of one of the teachers, Helga shook her head and headed outside. Barging past a stunned Brainy and opening the hall door, the chill of the night air clung to her skin, wrapping around her like silk as she headed to one of the railings. Leaning over it, Helga groaned angrily before moaning to herself. Everything was going wrong; nothing was ever going to go right now. A click from behind her made her stop her crying and continue looking out over the railing to the town around her.

This was no place to stay; she could never spend her entire life here. Hillwood was too suffocating, too small and too painful…it had only been a few years since she had left…

A small cough came from behind, causing her to turn around and find Phoebe smiling sadly at her. "I saw what happened; I'm so sorry Helga."

Helga brushed it off. "Big deal Phebs; if football head and miss perfect want to make love on the dance floor that is up to them; they could just spare us the intimate kissing and save it for the bedroom."

Helga turned away to hide her grimace; Phoebe would no doubt know how much this hurt her. "I see Helga."

For a while Helga just lent over the railing, Phoebe joining her as the night air sent chill after chill throughout her body. Why she wore a dress in this weather when she could have worn a jacket and jeans…Catching Phoebe's look, Helga frowned as Phoebe brushed away another tear from her eye.

"Phebs, what's going on?" She asked, suddenly aware that Gerald was nowhere to be seen.

"Nothing; I wanted to get out for some fresh air," she tried to smile, instead only sobbing softly to herself.

"Nice try Phoebe; but you might as well tell me now and save the interrogation," Helga smirked with Phoebe smiling in return.

"Well…it's just that, Gerald and I had an argument earlier today and it…"

Helga waited but Phoebe didn't continue. After not elaborating for a while, Helga asked, "It what Phoebe?"

Phoebe appeared to be struggling with herself internally. "It got out of hand…we yelled at each other and I said some things I never meant to say to him…now he doesn't know if he wants me anymore…Oh Helga, I don't know what to do," she cried, jumping into Helga's arms and weeping.

Holding her tightly against her chest, Helga stroked her hair as Phoebe continued to no doubt wet her dress with her tears. Not that Helga minded; but seeing her best friend like this was breaking her heart. "Do you want me to rearrange his features for you?" Helga grinned evilly; she did need to vent her anger somehow…

"No Helga," Phoebe smiled, muttering out the words every now and then, "I don't need you to do that."

She didn't move as the door opened and Gerald walked out, looking rather disgruntled, but relieved as he set his eyes on Phoebe. "But thank you Helga."

Followed closely behind him, wearing a dark jacket, Arnold took a step into the moonlight and glowed as Helga had trouble removing her eyes from him. Phoebe slowly left Helga's embrace and moved towards Gerald, falling into his embrace as they stood still. Arnold seemed unsure as to what he should do and very quickly joined Helga's side, looking out over the rails to avoid listening to Gerald and Phoebe's conversation. For a while they didn't say anything, much to Helga's relief as she tried to put him out of her mind. But it was so hard to think when his scent would drift up her nose with each breath, each second setting her heart ablaze with desire for him.

"You look nice tonight Helga," he eventually said.

Taken aback, Helga tried not to let her blush grow. "Thanks; you look pretty good yourself," she replied, earning a puzzled look from Arnold. Panicking, she added, "For a football head that is."

Normality seemed to return as Arnold smiled softly. "Whatever you say Helga."

Silence dawned on them as they were left alone by Gerald and Phoebe, who returned inside after Phoebe mentioned being too cold. "Those were some nice moves on the dance floor tonight Arnold. When did you learn to dance?"

Arnold seemed to frown at her request. "For the last three months, mostly. Not that I really wanted to."

"What do you mean?"

Arnold didn't say anything for a while, instead choosing to watch the moon in the sky above. This wasn't like the Arnold she knew and loved so much…

"I guess I'm just tired of being with her; she has changed so much since her boyfriend died. And it's not that I don't like her," Arnold quickly added, "But I just don't think she is…"

Helga waited but the words never came. "Why don't you tell her that then?"

Arnold took his time; how he made her heart race though as he brushed back his hair. "I guess it's harder than I think…have you ever liked somebody else, even though there was no way in the world they should or could, and even if you put yourself out there, they just ignore you or don't understand? Have you ever felt like that Helga?"

"All the time Arnold," she whispered.

Arnold seemed to switch on as he moved closer to her and turned her to face him. No longer a small boy, he was now just taller than her, looking deeply into her eyes. Wave after wave of numb bliss washed over her as he tried to find the right words. His breath was so cool and so warming to her soul that she wished he would only move closer and seal her love for him. "I guess what I want to say is that…"

A gasp from nearby broke their gaze as Helga turned pale; wheezing and looking aghast at the two of them, Brainy seemed on the verge of a meltdown.