The day started out innocently enough, but things at the house were coming to a head. Rukia would avoid contact with anyone unless it was necessary. The servants were even quieter sensing the heavy tension in the air. It seemed everyone was particularly quiet and walking on egg shells as if the slightest move the wrong way would send things spiraling out of control.

The mistress of the house had gone away for a few days to visit with friends. It was abnormally quiet one could hear a pin drop as everyone tried to avoid everyone else. It should have been a happier place with her gone for those few days but it only put everyone one on higher alert like the woman would come jumping out of a closet somewhere to scare everyone.

Then there was the sexual tension in the air, everyone could feel it as the two siblings sat across one another for meals not talking and avoiding eye contact. Ginrei was left with nothing to say also and he hurried his meals as best he could. Something was obviously going on and it was about to explode.

Byakuya would pass Rukia in the hallways with pleading eyes that would shake her to the core. If he could get her alone for even a second he took the chance, not caring if it shamed his household.

"Are you well? You have not had time to train lately." he asked her in a dark corner away from prying eyes.

"I am fine. Don't worry. Are you doing ok?" she asked not even knowing what she had even asked him because he was too close and could feel the heat from his body radiating over her, while she herself flushed from the heat of her own body.

"Better now." he said parting her hair with one hand and pulling her close with the other.

The contact was electric and she found herself pined against the wall, he looked like a predator desperate for its prey. Holding her there he pressed himself against her and placed a hand on her thigh as she wrapped a leg around him.

For a moment she struggled but as she looked into his eyes she was unable to resist. Her heart rate sped up, all of her body ready to give itself to him.

He lowered his head as if to kiss her, he was barely an inch from her lips and then he pulled away turning, and leaving her standing there trying to make sense of his actions.

He hurried to his room and closed the door securely. Falling to his knees he put his head in his hands. It was a sin what he was about to do to his sister. Just a few more months was all he had to hold out for. Then she would be gone.

The thought of her being gone killed him but this thing inside of him that burned for her with so much force nearly made him give in to his animalistic needs. He noticed how she now kept her head down in his presence after that day, like she could feel his shameful need for her.

There was so much guilt for touching her, for wanting to touch her, it kept him awake night after night pleading to the spirits of his parents in the family shrine. If things would only improve, if he could last the next few months then he would never again act so rashly. The temptation would be far away and he could go about his life feeling nothing again.

If that wretched woman would disappear, if she would leave him just go away forever and leave him in peace, if she would free him from their vows so he could go on with his life, he would never break another rule again he swore and promised it to his parents.

Another day had come and Rukia had asked Hisana if she could borrow one of her Kimono to go out that evening with Kaien. Hisana did not mind as it would help her get Rukia out of the way.

It drove Hisana mad. Everyone loved Rukia so much. Rukia was so perfect, following all of the rules, working hard to be a powerful Shinigami, paying attention to her tutors and behaving so virginally.

Rukia was trying on blue one in her room when Byakuya walked in to ask if she wished to train. It was necessary that day to have her close. He had lost the battle in his mind to leave her alone that day, if she were just close enough, if only to train, it would lessen the tension in his body. At least that is what he told himself.

There was no lessening the tension, if she were near him, in anyway, his grasp on the situation would loosen and he would again give in to the pull of his body to hers. There was no telling when it would snap and he would have to deal with the fallout. He tried with all of his might keep a distance between them but for some reason his feet took him right to her room.

Standing there in the doorway and seeing her half dressed, standing there in the action of pulling the kimono up, he couldn't take it anymore. The pressure under the volcano that had been pressurizing was fully to the surface and there was nothing left to restrain the force.

The forbidden feelings kept loosely hidden climbed to the surface and took over. The sanctity of her white flesh called to him as she slid the silk over her skin. In a single stride he was behind her placing heavy kisses along her neck and shoulder as he held on to her arms tightly enough to leave a mark.

"Ni…?" after seeing the fire in her eyes that dared him on, he cut her off with a finger over her lips.

"Do not say anything or I will loose my resolve." he said removing the untied kimono from her body and running his hand over every part of her as it fell to the floor then grasping her inner thigh with his hand when she was fully revealed to him.

She was unable to hold it in any longer and she moaned into his ear. He took her lips and she kissed him back with the same ferocity he was giving her. The kisses had become violent, there was a desperation to be linked, to be inside of her.

"Your vows…" she whispered almost breathless after breaking away

"I no longer care." he pressed his fully erect hardness to her wet heat.

He looked into her eyes and seeing the fire burning within them had grown, that it was there for him, he could no longer resist.

"We shouldn't." she said not really putting up a struggle as he held her hips down with one hand and removed what was left of his clothing with the other.

"Please do not deny me this, just this once or I will not be able to endure anymore." he pleaded begging to enter her, there was nothing she could deny him.

He thrust within her without even a moments hesitation and she cried out in pain. Tears streaming down her cheeks guilt and pain overtaking her for a short moment. It did not stop him, his need for her superseded her cries for him to stop. The house was broken a crack running through it that had just spread threatening to swallow the entire place and all of its occupants.

When her tears stopped there was no separating either of them. The room heated up as he ran his hands over her body and she held onto him tightly. They both knew that when this stopped they would not be able to be close again or even look at one another again so they had linked their bodies so tightly together that there wasn't much room for either of them to breathe. The moment was theirs and theirs alone. They were lost in one another, lost in a heated passion and raw emotion that had been building for so long.

At that moment she was his and no one else could have her. It was a selfish act on his part but none of it mattered anymore. No longer could he wait in the shadows watching her from dark rooms worshiping her presence, desiring her, wanting her, finding some way to go on without her in his arms. There was no way for him to go on, he had to have her if only once. If only for this short moment in time.

When he had let himself go in her he was unable to look her in the face. He held onto her tightly and rested his head in her neck not wanting to let her go. They both knew one he did that would never touch again. It was the only time in her life she had ever really felt loved and even that for her had come at a price. It just wasn't fair to either of them. Life is many things but fair isn't one of them.

The day after, what would he say to her? Nothing was the answer, he barely looked at her and she hung her head as he passed right by her. She would have let out a cry but she held it until she could be alone. His demeanor had become colder then he had ever been. The last bit of warmth that was in him left with the guilt of what he had done to her the evening before.

She would forgive him and try to forget what had occurred between them. It was a mistake on his part. He was stressed she thought and such things could happen when one needs refuge from what he was dealing with. There was no way she could hold it against him. The only thing she couldn't stand was that she had wanted him to keep touching her and keep kissing her like he was doing and never stop, never split from her again.

As wrong as it was she could not forget the touch of his hands on her body or the feel of his lips on hers. The way he kissed her with such ferocity, desperation, and need made her body shake with desire to be with him again. She wondered if he realized he was the first to ever have her.

He only watched her in secret after that, he knew she wouldn't say anything. Not that he cared if she did, a part of him hoped she would, and break the spell that put him back into the restraints.

He watched her with Kaien the look on her face not as happy as it was and it was all his fault. He could see the guilt was eating at her and he prayed she would not tell him and ruin any possible happiness she could have. Every part of him hating the good and kind man that sat in front of him for taking the woman he loved, and permanently taking the last of the light he had in his life.

He would not touch her after that day there was no way he could. She acted as if nothing had happened but the look on her face told a different story. She was suffering as much as he was trying to live this lie. It felt like something had broken between them. From his lapse of control he had soiled her with his obsession, broke through her innocence that he thought she had already lost to the degenerate he found in his house a while back.

It was finalized he had broken her just as he was broken. Would he never see that bright smile on her face again? If it had ever been a possibility he had taken that from her too. All that he had allowed to happen to her was his fault because he was still young and naïve.

How stupid could he have been to think he could have her just once without any consequences to her, to him? Once could never have been enough and that was the next phase of his personality change. Hisana and his new responsibilities had quieted him and rained in his temper. But his experience with Rukia and the eternal denial of ever again being close to her set a lock around his heart as it froze from the tears of Sode no Shirayuki who still called to his soul. They would all remain in this frozen state for good part of a century to come.

It became intolerable to look into her face after what he had done to her. Everything was so messed up. It took all he had to keep from killing the kind Shiba Kaien who sat in front of him. He nodded at the man as he spoke like all was well and drove his own hand onto a rogue nail under the table until he bled to distract himself from the dark thoughts that were going through his head. Her freedom from this hell was all that mattered anymore.

At night he would watch her silhouette through the paper walls until she turned out her light. How he despised himself. It was cowardice, plain cowardice that stopped him from taking her and leaving the shackles behind. With his inactivity she was assured a place to shine in the life of another man. It was all lost to him, her light seeming more distant with the passing days and the last of his emotions about to be buried in his darkened heart.