King Nevermind stared at the canopy hanging above his bed and sighed. His wife didn't respond, so he cleared his throat.
The queen set her work down and said, "Yes?"
"Should we speak about Sonia now?" the king asked, sitting up in bed. "I've had some time to think about it over the day and I don't know if I like where this young Tanaka might lead her."
"And why is that?"
"Did you hear how he kept going on about the underworld and Cerebrus and other such nonsense? I don't know if he's perhaps delusional or just keenly interested in mythology, but Sonia doesn't need any more silly stories clogging her mind; she's already taken an interest in reading books about spirits and demons. I'm a bit worried, frankly."
"I do agree that he's quite unusual," Sonia's mother said, furrowing her brow slightly. "But what about the other boys that Sonia has dated? For example... let's see, I believe his name was Daniel Forgetaboutit. He was very interested in German books from the nineteenth century and quoted them, in their native language, constantly."
"Is it possible that Sonia is especially attracted to particularly strange boys?" Mister Nevermind muttered to himself.
"I suppose so, but her dating habits could also stem from her wishes to expand her worldview from the small country she's always lived in; she likes getting to know people whose interests are unusual to her so she can learn more of the diverse cultures in the world."
"She's also lucky to have such an open-minded mother," King Nevermind said, smiling slightly. "Are you suggesting we should let her date this Tanaka, then? I don't have a very good feeling about him; he generally seemed harmless, despite all the crazy talk, but I worry about how it might affect Sonia. He's already coerced her into one publicity stunt, and with his grandiose and confusing manner of speech, there's no telling what else he may persuade her into."
"I agree that the video was a bit much," Queen Nevermind nodded, "but she has promised not to post any more, and I trust her personal judgement in other matters." She pointedly raised an eyebrow.
Her husband sighed. "I'll have to sleep on it, I suppose. I don't think he's a bad person, just a bit... eccentric."
Sonia's mother smiled. "Do you remember what you were like as a teenager?"
"... Let's drop the subject. Good night."
A chuckle. "Good night, dear."
...
"I said good night, Souda," Tanaka hissed, rolling over to face the wall.
"No, no, not good night!" the mechanic said, jumping over to his roommate's bed and rolling him back over. "You're not datin' Sonia, right? The rumors I heard were just rumors?"
"I already told you that I shall not be answering such inquiries," Tanaka replied, sitting up to push Souda off the bed before laying back down. "Go to sleep."
"But..." Tanaka could hear the sound of heavy breathing coming from the floor. "But if you're not answering, then the answer must be that you are, which is..." A muffled sob sounded before Tanaka found his face wrenched up to meet snarling, sharp teeth that filled his blurry vision. Never turn your back on a cornered animal, he reminded himself, though he was sure that Souda wouldn't do anything rash.
Pretty sure.
He pushed the mechanic away just to be safe and tensed, ready for an attack. As his vision cleared, he could see the light from the moon illuminating the watery sheen in Souda's eyes.
"You bastard," Souda spat, clenching his trembling hands into fists. "You shouldn't date her, you shouldn't even be allowed to be around her, you..." he cut himself off, rubbing his eyes and cursing under his breath.
"I do not need to listen to you insult me," Tanaka said, voice steady. "Calm yourself."
"No, I..." The mechanic's voice cracked, and he swore again before standing up and leaving the room, slamming the door behind him. Tanaka flinched, sighed, and took a few moments to calm himself before he lay back down. He knew that Souda wouldn't handle the news well, but he wasn't expecting such a strong mix of hatred, rage, and grief; he had almost looked as though he was ready to strangle Tanaka at one moment before he broke down.
The breeder, though he knew it was ridiculous, felt almost afraid for his safety and said a brief prayer before closing his eyes. The euphoria from the day's events was still present, but he felt a slight guilt creeping in around the edges of his mind. It was preposterous. Souda had never treated him with anything but contempt, and Tanaka did the same, so there was no reason to feel anything but joy over the fact that he was... dating... Sonia Nevermind.
He scoffed aloud at such a ridiculous term; though "courting" was considered an old-fashioned word, Tanaka much preferred it. Yes, he was courting Sonia Nevermind, princess and future queen of Novoselic, which was how it should be for an esteemed figure such as himself.
Yet Souda's words wormed their way into Tanaka's mind along with the guilt, fitting into the cracks in his happiness and pulling it apart as he asked himself: Am I really worthy of courting such a noble young woman? Who am I to put anyone, regardless of how he has treated me, in such an agonizing position? Tanaka sighed again and sat up, staring at the slit of pale light dashed across the wall of his bedroom. No, Souda is simply overreacting. I am not harming him; he is harming himself with his obsession over Miss Sonia.
Tanaka knew that said obsession would cause the mechanic to interfere with the relationship between him and Sonia, but he had to hope that Souda's resolve would wear off over time. Perhaps Tanaka could brainwash him or mix a substance that would cause him to fall in love with someone else. Potion making wasn't his field of expertise, but all one had to do was find an ancient text, gather ingredients, and follow directions; surely it couldn't be that difficult.
Despite his plans to "help" Souda, Tanaka still found that he couldn't fall asleep for quite some time that night; his mind brewed a mix of good and bad thoughts as he looked ahead toward all the memories he could make with Sonia as well as all the challenges he would have to face with Souda, but the concoction eventually came to a peaceful simmer as Tanaka drifted to the world of the unconscious.
...
Souda hunched over, mouth covered with one hand to muffle his sobs, as made his way over to the reserve building. He didn't know if curfew had passed yet or not, but he didn't care; he needed to talk to someone, and Hinata always listened. His jumpsuit didn't do much to protect him against the January cold, so his legs sped up until he broke into a frantic sprint, and he could feel the tear lines freezing on his face and he knew he was being melodramatic but he didn't care, he didn't, he just needed to talk to Hinata and everything would be okay.
Except it wouldn't, because Tanaka was dating Sonia and that meant that nothing would be okay until they broke up.
The thought wrenched another sob from Souda's throat as he threw open the door to the reserve building and stumbled up a flight of stairs to Hinata's room, feeling drained of energy. He slowed to a stop in front of the right door, rubbed his eyes, and knocked.
"Who is it?" a surprised voice called after a moment.
"It's Souda," the mechanic croaked. Shit, he sounded awful.
"Souda? But it's past curfew," the same voice said, more to itself than anyone else. The door opened to reveal Hinata, whose mouth went slack upon seeing the state of his friend. "Hey, are you okay? You... don't look so good," he said, evidently trying to avoid a more insulting description.
"No, I'm not okay," Souda mumbled, sniffling. "Can I come in?"
"Well..." Hinata cast a glance over his shoulder into the dark room. "My roommate's trying to sleep right now. Can we talk out here as long as we make it quick? I don't want to get us in trouble."
"Okay." Souda slumped against the wall and slid down until he was sitting with his knees to his chest. His lip trembled, and he sniffed loudly to hold back more tears.
Hinata hesitated for a moment before he put a hand on his friend's shoulder and asked, "What's the matter?"
"Yeah, like you don't already know?" the mechanic said, drawing his knees in even closer as he wrapped his arms around his legs. "You probably just didn't tell me because you knew I'd be like this."
"Um..." Hinata fumbled for words for a moment because, of course, Souda was right; if he was thinking of the correct event, then yes, Sonia and Tanaka had happily told a few close friends about their new relationship and the news spread from there, but Hinata was hoping it wouldn't reach Souda so quickly. "Are you talking about Sonia and Tanaka?"
Souda nodded, lower lip wobbling again.
"Well..." Hinata sighed. "I'm gonna be honest, I don't really know what to tell you. I know you really like her, but if you make her break up with Tanaka, she'll just be miserable." And she'll probably resent you for the rest of our time in high school, he added mentally. "Why don't you just wait it out? Most high school relationships don't really last that long, anyways."
"I guess you're right," Souda mumbled, rubbing at one eye. "But... why him? He's loud and annoying and acts like he's better than everyone and he dresses like an idiot and his hair is so stupid!"
Kinda sounds like someone else I know, Hinata mused. Making smart comments to himself was one of the only ways he could cope with the constant amount of people talking to him about their problems.
"And he's mean and he won't treat her right and he'll give her rabies and..."
"Souda," Hinata interjected, "Tanaka doesn't have rabies. You just need to deal with the fact that Sonia sees something you don't and leave it at that." He thought back on his own time with the breeder and said, "He's really not that bad of a guy, y'know. You just have to stop being so hostile toward him."
"How could you say that?" Souda wailed, swatting his friend's hand away. Hinata shushed him. "Whose side are you on, anyway?" the mechanic hissed, voice still not low enough.
"I'm not on anyone's side, I just want you all to get along and stop fighting over petty things!"
"A princess is not petty!"
Hinata pinched the bridge of his nose and shut his eyes. "Okay. Just... take some time to calm down, alright? And try to get over her. If they break up eventually, then great for you. If not, then you'll have to deal with it."
Souda groaned and pushed himself onto his feet. "It's not that easy, Hinata. You're lucky that the girl you like actually likes you back." He turned away. "You couldn't possibly understand how I feel right now," he said, walking down the hallway with his gaze trained onto his own shoes.
Once he was out of sight, Hinata let out an exhale through his teeth and went back into his room. He didn't ask to deal with all this drama, and it was obvious that Souda was blowing the whole situation out of proportion; hopefully everything would be back to normal soon. The reserve student was thrilled at the opportunity to be placed with such a unique group of his peers, but spending all day in such an environment got very tiring very quickly, especially when none of them could leave him alone.
Not that he was complaining about being popular, but knowing what made everyone tick made it very difficult for him to take sides in a situation like this; both Tanaka and Souda had already suffered so much, and both deserved to be happy, but Souda would evidently have to find a way to be happy without Sonia.
Flicking his shoes off, Hinata fell backwards into his bed with a soft oof and decided to think more on the matter later. Preferably never, but he supposed he'd have to deal with it for a long time to come until Souda finally got past his crush.
...
The next day, Souda didn't acknowledge Tanaka as both boys got ready for school. Of course, such was the norm, but the silence between the two was even more tense than usual; Tanaka could occasionally feel a burning glare directed at his back, but when he looked, Souda was the one with his back turned away.
Tanaka wasn't looking forward to many more weeks of this. He quickly made plans to go to the library after school to find a book on potion making; the possibility of Sonia joining him crossed his mind, but he didn't want to bother her with such trivial matters. Perhaps Hinata could help; though his power levels were pitiful, he showed promise and a willingness to learn.
But he was getting ahead of himself. First, they had to wait for Sonia's parents to allow them to date; though the princess claimed that she would continue dating Tanaka even if her parents forbid it, he couldn't believe that such deception would reflect well on her if the king and queen did find out. He couldn't put her in such a dangerous position.
As it turned out, he didn't have much to worry about; after two days of classes, two afternoons spent researching in the library, and two evenings spent with Souda's glare burning into his skin, Sonia's parents gave them permission to continue courtship. Sonia had been so excited that she threw her arms around Tanaka the moment she shut her laptop, which resulted in the usual amounts of stuttering, apologies, and hidden smiles.
Then Sonia immediately said that she was going to plan their first date and went off giggling to herself. Evidently, she was not one for tradition, which was fine with Tanaka; he wouldn't have the first clue what a date entitled, anyway.
So he enlisted Hinata into making a love potion instead.
Plopping some ancient texts onto a table with the quietest slam possible, Tanaka said, "Now, we shall begin the ritual! I have spent my recent nights poring over these documents, and I have selected only the most promising and potent for our purposes."
Hinata sat down at the table and crossed his arms, trying not to comment on Tanaka's alliteration. "Can't we just wait for Souda to develop a crush on someone else?"
"Unacceptable and, furthermore, impossible. The princess's charms are too strong for the effects of such a 'crush' to wear off so soon. Now," Tanaka said, flipping through the smallest tome, "this potion has readily accessible ingredients: three hearts of rose, three silver spoonfuls of honey and of brandy..."
"Woah, hey, we're not gonna give Souda any alcohol!" Hinata protested. "Can't we just... substitute that for something else?" Or maybe not make it at all? I doubt it'll work, he thought, almost sighing aloud.
"No, we cannot. The potion will not work." Tanaka shut one book and moved on to the next. "Ha, such minor setbacks are nothing to one so prepared as I! Perhaps this tea recipe will be more suitable: rosemary, lemon leaves, rose petals, nutmeg..."
"That sounds pretty good," Hinata muttered to himself. "But I can't really imagine Souda as a tea-drinker."
"We will simply have to infect him with the demons of illness and tell him to drink the potion to better the deadly ailment."
"No."
Tanaka and Hinata glared at each other before backing down. Tanaka looked off to the side and said, "It is almost as though you are not properly honored to have been chosen by me for this mission. Very few have gained my trust, and the fact that are you sitting before me as I discuss these plans demonstrates that you are one of those few."
"Yes, I understand that, and I am honored to have your trust... I guess... but," Hinata cleared his throat, "I don't think this is the best way to help Souda. Forcing things along won't make anything better."
"Then what solution do you propose?"
Hinata put a hand to his chin and, after a moment, said, "What if we get him to be friends with more people so his mind will be off Sonia? Maybe we could get him around a few of the girls and see if he likes any of them instead."
Tanaka hummed in thought and said, "Perhaps. I should not be directly involved in such affairs, however; it would raise suspicion from the disagreeable one." His gaze redirected to the book laid out on the table. "A magical brew would require less work on your part, you realize."
"Yeah," Hinata sighed, "but I think I should at least give the other plan a shot. I..." He ran a hand over his eyes. "I guess we could try the potion if it takes too long or isn't working."
Tanaka chuckled triumphantly. "Very well, mortal. I accept your proposal." He thrust out a hand, which Hinata took hesitantly. "The contract has been sealed!"
Hinata's hand disconnected from Tanaka's to rest on the table. "So how are things with you and Sonia, anyway?"
"Matters are moving along quite well, I believe." The breeder finally sat down and said, "Miss Sonia has already begun to formulate our first outing as king and queen of the spirit realm! It is evident that she is eager to embark on such ventures, as any worthy lady would be in her desirable position."
"Uh-huh," Hinata said, elbow propped on the table to support his head. He smiled. "Have you guys kissed yet?"
The reserve student's snickers drowned out Tanaka's protests until the breeder went silent, red in the face, and wondered where he could find better friends.
...
If there was one thing that Tanaka knew about humans, it was that their fragile bodies could only last on solid, temperate land. Perhaps they could take to the water for a while, perhaps they could handle excessive heat or cold given the proper resources, but of all possible activities, humans were not meant to skate on ice.
Sonia seemed to share these thoughts upon taking her first few shaky steps on the ice and clutching her boyfriend's arm with one hand for support, but she was evidently hellbent on having a good time and refused to admit her reluctance.
"Mister Tanaka, I have always wanted to try ice skating! It's rather mild in Novoselic year-round due to the nearby ocean, you see, but I have always seen the professionals moving with such grace and wished to try my hand at imitating them." She slid one foot forward and slowly lifted the other, causing the couple to travel a minimal distance forward. "They make it look so easy," she sighed.
Tanaka wobbled even standing in place and, though he wouldn't admit it, felt as though he needed Sonia's support more than he needed hers. "I have never understood the purpose of this activity," he grumbled, stepping forward and almost falling over. Sonia tightened her grip around his arm to help anchor him and only ended up sliding further along the rink.
"Perhaps we need someone to teach us the proper technique," she said, wrapping both arms around Tanaka's elbow once both students had stopped moving. He would have noticed the contact more if his concentration wasn't focused on staying upright.
That didn't mean that his face wasn't red, nonetheless.
"Do you notice how those two are moving their feet?" Sonia said, pointing at a couple holding hands and skating in sync. "They're pointed... outward a bit," she observed, doing so with her own skates and taking a few hesitant steps forward. Tanaka stayed at her side, trying to follow her movements but feeling as though he was being dragged along more than anything else.
After taking about ten minutes to make a path halfway around the rink, some kind soul finally approached the two and offered help. Tanaka would be sure to spare him in his coming reign. "So, you stand with your feet like this..." the man said, demonstrating, "like you two were earlier. If you're beginners, maybe you should let go of each other so you don't knock the other off balance." Sonia released Tanaka's arm somewhat hesitantly. The man noticed this and smirked.
Tanaka retracted his earlier declaration of mercy. Not that he'd said anything out loud, of course, but he was sure that his glare spoke volumes.
Refraining from further comment, the man continued, "And you just slide your foot forward at kind of an angle and then do the same with the other." He took a few effortless steps and said, "It takes some practice, so try not to get discouraged." The smirk returned. "And try not to drag your girlfriend down with you, okay?"
Tanaka's glare deepened. Sonia simply smiled and said, "Thank you! I fear I am the one who will 'take him down,' as a matter of fact, so I will be sure not to rely on him for support."
Damn. Damn this man to the deepest pits in the lowest circle of hell.
And he simply waved and skated away, as though he hadn't just split up the two future rulers of the world. Tanaka huffed and skated forward, noting that it was a bit easier to move without someone hanging onto him but still clinging to the wall for support.
"Wasn't he so nice, Mister Tanaka?" Sonia beamed, one hand poised delicately against the wall as she skated forward, still stumbling slightly. How she managed to look elegant while struggling so was beyond even Tanaka's comprehension. He simply grunted in response, and the two focused in silence for a few more minutes until they could move somewhat confidently on the ice. Sonia checked behind her every so often to assure that her boyfriend hadn't fallen behind, but she turned around just as quickly before Tanaka could see the smile on her lips.
The silence had stretched on for too long, and Tanaka attempted to make conversation. "Were you aware," he began, "that no other animal skates in this manner? The closest comparison in nature is the Gerridae, which utilizes the water's surface tension to move quickly along ponds and other stagnant bodies of water. However, in dealing with frozen water, most animals of the Arctic and Antarctic simply have adaptations that allow them to walk along the ice or to slide on their stomachs without freezing their skin."
Sonia cast a playful glance over her shoulder before looking forward to keep her balance. "Mister Tanaka, are you suggesting that perhaps this is a silly thing that humans invented?"
"Perhaps, yes," he echoed. "I certainly don't see a practical purpose."
"Would you prefer sliding around on your stomach?" she giggled.
He paused. "It would certainly be easier, and paying homage to the penguin living each day in such a position would show these two-legged beasts how nature properly adapts to its surroundings, but..." He looked around, frowning slightly as he adjusted his scarf. "I refuse to degrade myself in public in such a manner. What would these simple-minded creatures think if they were to witness such a spectacle coming from the Ascendant Ruler of Ice?"
"I was joking, Mister Tanaka!" Sonia said, slowing down so he could rejoin her side. She smiled and continued the conversation, relieved to talk about such a lighthearted subject. "It would be quite a bit easier to slide around on one's stomach, but how could we gain enough traction to push ourselves along?"
"Hah, a simpler solution could not be found if you asked me how the peacock attracts a mate! We must simply look to the penguin with its webbed feet, immune to the biting ice that would quickly freeze fragile human toes." Tanaka looked down to the ice thoughtfully, arms spread to keep him upright. "Perhaps one could invent a shoe that permits humans to gain traction when pushing themselves on their torsos, but we could never hope to have the grace or ease that arctic birds do." He smiled softly. "And we would look ridiculous."
Sonia laughed and skated in silence for a time, content to gradually gain more confidence on the ice. After noting that both she and Tanaka seemed a bit more steady, she took a deep breath and grabbed onto his arm once more; he tensed slightly but didn't pull away, and the two continued forward at a steady pace. The man from earlier could be heard snickering as he passed by, and Tanaka threw him a halfhearted glare before refocusing his gaze firmly to his feet.
Even if he was the Ascendant Ruler of Ice, that didn't make skating on the stuff any easier.
As more time passed in the peaceful silence that came with concentration, the sun's rays dashed deeper and deeper shades of orange onto the ice until every skater was covered in a rosy glow. Tanaka peeked over to his right to see Sonia's flushed cheeks further brightened by the overlay of color, and her eyes glinted as she turned to him with a smile. He quickly looked away, sure that the same sunset was exaggerating the blush that always appeared when he was confronted with such high concentrations of beauty in such a small individual.
"Is something on your mind, Mister Tanaka?" the same individual asked. Tanaka could feel her eyes still on him and glanced back to her.
"No, nothing of substance," he muttered. "I... was merely wondering if you will be able to continue this endeavor once Apollo has plucked his creation from the sky." He paused. "Of course, my superior night vision could easily guide you, but did you not mention another engagement later tonight?"
"Yes, I did!" Sonia said, squeezing Tanaka's arm softly. "I recently heard of a most intriguing restaurant and thought that we should go together. We may leave whenever you are ready!"
He nodded but, not wanting to seem too eager to leave, skated aimlessly until the sun was nothing but half a crimson circle in the sky before asking Sonia if she wished to go eat. She nodded and led Tanaka off the ice, where he gratefully took off his skates and put his boots back on as quickly as possible. Once the rental skates were returned, the couple headed to the address that Sonia had written down; both seemed visibly relieved to walk normally again.
"I apologize if that was uncomfortable," the princess said, rubbing her gloved hands together. "It was foolish of me to think that skating on such a slippery surface would be easy, but I think we both improved tremendously!"
Tanaka grunted in agreement and stuck his own hands in his pockets. "Perhaps I underestimated the difficulty as well, but I have gained a new respect for our arctic brethren who face such conditions with ease. Apologies are therefore unnecessary."
"I hope you enjoyed yourself, at the least! Even if we couldn't slide on our stomachs," Sonia smiled.
"I am sure it is impossible for any outing you plan to be unpleasant, Miss Sonia," Tanaka said, burrowing his chin into his muffler. He quickly added, "What type of culinary establishment did you find so intriguing?"
Sonia's eyes widened in excitement to reflect the streetlights as she said, "I heard of it from Mister Swindler! He has eaten at many unique restaurants and he told me that this one was particularly gruesome, so naturally I was intrigued..." She put her hands over her mouth and chuckled. "I suppose you will find out the details once we arrive! We should be there shortly."
Tanaka raised an eyebrow but didn't comment.
...
"That was not quite what I was expecting."
"..."
"Mister Tanaka, are you okay?"
"I will live."
"The handcuffs were a bit much... and I didn't realize that so many alcoholic beverages would be served."
"I believe that the waitresses posing as medical attendants were the most... disturbing."
A sigh. "Well, I was given a fair warning of the content, but I assumed it would only involve violence, which I know you and I can handle. I did not realize that it would be so distasteful in other aspects."
"The cuisine was acceptable."
"Yes, the intestine was quite delicious!"
"I fervently hope that they did not harvest the actual organs of an innocent creature for such a dish."
"No, I think it was some type of sausage."
A pause.
"Perhaps you should choose the restaurant next time."
...
Tanaka walked Sonia back to her dorm in a tense silence. Both students were obviously a bit shaken by what they had seen at the Alcatraz-themed restaurant, and neither knew how to start up a conversation that didn't involve nurse waitresses prodding at patrons with oversized needles.
As they neared the dorm, Sonia sighed and said, "I apologize for tonight. A more thorough look into that establishment could have avoided that unpleasant experience."
"Do not trouble yourself over it," Tanaka said. "It was nonetheless a... unique ordeal that I shall not soon forget."
Sonia smiled, but her brow seemed tense. "Yes, we do tend to remember bad things for longer, do we not?"
"Sonia, I do not possess the extensive knowledge of humans that I do of animals, but I do know that they bond through difficult experiences." Tanaka halted in front of the door to the girls' dorm and said, "In surviving the hellish and... uncomfortably provocative bowels of that environment as well as in braving the ice, we have further bonded. You therefore could not have planned a more ideal first outing."
The tension in the princess's brow lessened slightly, and her smile widened. "Really?"
Tanaka nodded, a small smile of his own twitching at his mouth. He stood silently, arms crossed, figuring that he had said his piece. Sonia appeared deep in thought but eventually nodded in return and said, "Well, I appreciate your kind words, Mister Tanaka! Perhaps you should plan our outing next time, though." She laughed. "I did have fun, regardless, and I hope you could do the same!"
He nodded once more and let his arms rest at his sides. "Indeed. I am sure I will be unable to come up with such a creative itinerary, yet I will persevere in crafting the ideal outing for my most noble queen or I am not fit to call myself Gundam Tanaka, the future ruler of the underworld!"
"I look forward to it, then!" Sonia said, rubbing at her arms to keep them warm. "It's quite cold out, so I'm going to head inside. I'll see you tomorrow in class!"
"Yes. Have a restful night, my lady."
Sonia stood fidgeting for a few moments before slowly moving in to give Tanaka a brief hug. He tensed and, after a beat of silence, gave her a single pat on the back. She giggled as she pulled away and said, "Good night, Mister Tanaka."
He held the door open, and she directed her luminescent smile toward him as she walked inside, waving to him after she crossed the threshold. He shut the door softly and watched her through the glass for a moment before reluctantly turning away.
His euphoria almost negated Souda's accusatory silence upon his return to the dorm.
