dove in love: I love you, too! Oooh sale? Where do you work?
Casey's POV
"My wife was released from the hospital and we're going to the murder house. This is the best Halloween ever!" I tell Alex, Allegra, and Megan as we load up on bottles of alcohol to take with us on our journey.
"There's Jager in the fridge. I suggest you take it. You girls have nothing but bitch drinks in your hands right now," my mom says as she enters the kitchen in nothing but a baby blue bathing suit and a pair of big pink sunglasses. In her hands is a yellow beach towel that she should be using to cover herself up.
"Charlene, you look hot," Allegra tells her. It's the first time I've ever heard her call her by her first name instead of Mrs. Novak.
"And very '70s," Alex adds.
"Mom, what the hell are you supposed to be?" I ask, trying not to let my anger show.
"Malibu Barbie. I'm the exact replica of the one I had when I was a little girl in the '70s," my mom says to me.
"Far out," Megan says as if she is an expert on '70s slang.
"And where's Daddy?" I ask.
"Who knows?" my mom says.
As I'm about to further interrogate her, her best friend Chrissy walks into our house dressed like a 1960s Playboy Bunny. What is with these women? They're 38 years old. The four of us should be the ones dressed sleazy today, not them.
"Charlene, you look beautiful," Chrissy says to my mom in her accent that I've suddenly begun to hate. I notice my mom start to blush. "So do you," she tells Chrissy.
I am tempted to repeat my question about my father's whereabouts, but I know it will only go unanswered. I wouldn't be surprised if he were out with his mistress right now. I also wouldn't be surprised if my mom were going to cheat on him with some guy tonight.
"I'm going to a party with Chrissy. I probably won't be home until morning. Charlotte is spending the night at Shianne's house and Cassidy is at a sleepover with her cheer squad. You girls have fun tonight," my mom says before giving us all goodbye hugs.
"She's totally going to fuck her," Allegra says once Chrissy and my mom have left.
"Who?" Alex asks.
"Charlene and Chrissy. They're not going to some party. They're going to spend the whole night doing each other," Allegra tells us.
"Dumbass, my mom isn't gay," I tell Allegra.
Megan's eyes suddenly get wide. "I think you should tell her," she says to her girlfriend.
Allegra slowly exhales. "Casey, I had sex with your mom last night."
"You what?" I say to her in disbelief. "You better not have just said what I think you just said." I'm fighting every urge in my body that's telling me to go over and smack Allegra.
"Casey, I'm sorry. It just happened, you know? You and Megan were at the hospital with Alex and the two of us were here talking in the guest room and one thing led to another. She told me she was going to bed, but she came back 15 minutes later wearing nothing but her underwear. I asked her if she was sure she wanted to do this and she said yeah and that this is what she needed. She told me that she knows I have a girlfriend and she wouldn't dream of trying to split us up, but she said she's been fantasizing about me non-stop for the past few days now. I'm not going to tell you what happened because I know you don't want to know, but she went at it like a fucking pro. This woman knew exactly what she was doing, which makes me think it wasn't her first time with a female."
None of us know what to say after that. There are so many emotions running through me right now and I have no idea which one is going to win.
Megan senses the tension between Allegra and myself. "Come on, girls. Let's get going. The murder house is waiting," she says to us.
The murder house is the house that belonged to the Lover's Lane slasher in the story I told Charlotte's Girl Scout troop a few weeks ago. I told the same story to Megan and Allegra and they insisted I take them to visit this piece of small town lore before they head back to LA tomorrow.
"This place is fucking amazing," Megan says when we head down into the basement of the murder house on First Street. "Is this really where everything happened?"
"Yeah," I tell her. "He would bring some of his victims here and cut them with a chain saw."
"Casey, you totally ripped that off of Texas Chain Saw Massacre," Allegra says as she rolls her eyes.
"Did not! You can check the newspapers and everything," I tell her.
We start scanning the walls with our flashlights and see that they are covered with the names and messages of every teenager in this town who has visited the house.
"Hey! Look at this!" I say to the girls as I shine my flashlight on a message written in pink marker. Charlene Jablonsky and Chrissy Lacroix spent the night here and lived to tell about it. 10-31-1983. A few feet away was another message in the same handwriting and color. Charlene loves Chris Novak. 2-14-1987.
"Aww, that's so cute!" Alex says as she wraps her arms around me from behind.
I pull a marker out of my purse that I brought just for this occasion. Next to the message my mom wrote to my dad, I write Casey Novak loves Alex Novak. 10-31-2007.
"You guys are such nerds," Megan says to Alex and me. "Now tell me more about the house. Do you think it's haunted by the spirits of everyone who has died here?"
"It has to be," I tell her. "They were brutally murdered."
"BS," Alex says to us. "There's no such thing as ghosts. Next, you're going to be telling me you believe in fairies and Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny."
Suddenly, we hear the stairs start to creak as if someone is making their way down. Alex lets out a high-pitched scream and buries her face in my shoulder. "It's the killer!" Alex turns toward the stairs and I can hear a quiver in her voice when she starts to speak. "Please don't hurt us. We're just stupid teenage girls. We don't know any better."
"Speak for yourself," Allegra says to her.
I shine the flashlight on the staircase and see that no one is standing there. "Alex, baby, it's okay. There's no one there."
"It must have been a ghost," Megan says to her in a mocking tone of voice.
"Casey, can we go home now?" Alex says to me. "We can all watch some scary movies or something."
"Lex, you hate scary movies."
"Yeah, but I'd rather watch one than live one," she says to me.
"No dice, we're staying," Megan says. "You better not bitch out, Alex."
"Fine," she says as she pouts. When Alex shines her light toward one of the corners of the room, she starts to scream again. "Casey! There's blood over there!"
"Of course there's going to be blood, Alex," Allegra tells her in an annoyed tone of voice.
I can't help but laugh, "Don't worry, Lex. I'll protect you," I tell her as I hold her close.
"Right, Casey. Cuz you're so butch," Megan says sarcastically.
Megan hands Alex the bottle of Jager. "Drink up, this will relax you," she tells her.
I grab the bottle and hand it back to Megan. "She can't drink, you idiot."
"Why not? She's not pregnant anymore," Megan says with a confused look.
"Yeah, but I'm still breastfeeding," Alex says to her sister. She's such a good mommy.
"Fine, we'll do something else," Megan sighs.
"Casey, truth or dare?" Allegra asks.
"Truth," I answer.
"Okay, this is the perfect question for where we're at right now. If me, you, Megan, and Alex were in a horror movie, in which order would we be killed and how?"
"It depends. What is the scenario?" I ask.
"Madman's subterranean prison," Allegra answers. "It's his own private torture chamber and he has every power tool imaginable to use on us."
"Creepy," Alex says.
"I want to do it," Megan says excitedly. "Allegra, baby, love of my life, I'm sorry but you'd probably be murdered first. Horror movie etiquette states that the slutty girl dies first and you're an even bigger slut than I am."
"Yeah, but you're a porn star, which is kind of like prostitution and the prostitute always dies first because she is the fallen woman in horror movie etiquette," Allegra says to her girlfriend.
Alex decides to join in. "Megan dies first but her death isn't that creative because it's the first one. She could possibly be stabbed once in the heart."
"Thanks, sis," Megan says as she starts laughing. "Next is Allegra. Allegra, you're beautiful and you're a model for a really preppy brand of clothing. When the audience sees you, they're going to think you're a bitch based solely on the way you look and everyone wants to see the pretty girl get murdered because it brings her down to their level. Your murder would probably be the most brutal. I'm thinking maybe your eyes being drilled out or you being sliced several times. Sorry babe."
"Alex is next," Allegra says. "She's sweet, but she's blonde and horror movie etiquette says that blondes always have to die. And she's so perfect. Her death wouldn't be as brutal as mine, but it will be prolonged. She'd be tortured, but mentally and not physically."
"Casey is the protagonist," Megan adds. "This means she may or may not die. Casey would be the one that the audience can relate to. She's cute, but not breathtakingly gorgeous. She's also smart and she's totally loyal. Casey would probably try to avenge our deaths, but the killer would still be after her. He'd probably try to kill her while wearing Alex's face or showing her Alex's mutilated body. He's going to try everything to break her. Even though she has a good chance of surviving, she'll spend the rest of her life wishing she were dead because she lost her wife and her friends and she will forever be traumatized by everything she has witnessed. She may kill herself or end up in an insane asylum. Those are her only options according to horror movie etiquette."
"You guys are so weird," Alex says to them.
"And that attitude is why you aren't the protagonist," Megan says as she shines the flashlight on her sister.
After two hours and two bottles of vodka and Jager, Allegra and Megan are having sex ten feet away from us. They're so drunk that I honestly don't think they remember we're here. Judging by the way they're going at it, death and blood on the walls must really turn these two on.
"Do you miss doing that?" Alex asks me after ten minutes of watching Allegra and Megan.
"Of course I do, but I'm just glad to have you back."
"I'm glad to be back too. Tonight is the first night I'll be able to sleep next to you since Kylie was born."
"I know," I say excitedly. "You look so beautiful, Alex."
"No, I don't."
"You do. You're the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on."
Alex starts to kiss me and it suddenly doesn't matter that we can't make love. Sometimes kissing in a haunted house on Halloween night is enough.