I do not own NCIS:LA or any of it's characters, but Reagan is mine.
I'm so sorry for the delay with this chapter. Life has suddenly caught up with me this month and work had to take a presidence over my writing. But here it is. I'm not terribly impressed with this chapter but it takes us where we need to go so please bear with me.
I'm am ever greatful for the love, reviews and story & author alerts you are all still doing. THANK YOU!
Soundtrack has changed again, back to Lifehouse. They just seem to have songs for every moment of life! And they know exactly how to say something when it comes to messy emotions. The songs I post are the ones that I am listening to as I write for inspiration and enjoyment! Give it a listen I promise you'll like it!
And lastly please, please, please, keep reviewing! Honestly it's the best way for me to know you like what you're reading! MuchLove!
We're both looking for something, we've been afraid to find,
It's easier to be broken, it's easier to hide
Looking at you, holding my breath, for once in my life I'm scared to death
I'm taking a chance, letting you inside
Feeling alive all over again, as deep as the sky, under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm feeling right
Where I belong, with you tonight
Like being in love, to feel for the first time
:Lifehouse: First Time:
::Chapter 10::
Reagan leaned back on her elbows and turned to look at the two women next to her. Relaxed, lying on the beach one would never imagine the chaos that had ensued to get them there.
Reagan walked up to the familiar door and checked her watch one more time before she tentatively knocked. Kensi had told her to come around 7:00 and they could run together then shower and head over to pick up Nell, getting to the beach around 9:30. And here she was at 6:45 in a panic that she would be waking Kensi up.
Well it was around 7:00, but some people said that and really meant, "don't show up until 7 or later, preferably later' and Reagan wasn't sure which type of "around 7" person Kensi was. But when she opened the door almost pouncing on her, Reagan got her answer.
"Hey, you ready to go?" Kensi asked.
"I think you need to lay off the coffee," Reagan eyed her.
"No coffee yet. Just a couple of rounds on the weight bag, and a load of crunches!"
Reagan eyed her friend's perfect body and shook her head. Not even to look like that, would she follow that routine. A run was one thing; swimming laps, no sweat; but the weight bag and then crunches and a run, that's where Reagan drew the line.
"Well, come on then Wonder Woman. The faster we do this, the faster we get to the beach."
Kensi punched her arm for the Wonder Woman comment, as she shut the door and then headed out. It was an easy pace for Reagan, considering last night's marathon, and she fell into stride with Kensi as if they had been running together forever. She even enjoyed the easy conversation they had, although she usually hated to talk while she ran. Reagan found the conversation ate up the miles and before she knew it they were back at Kensi's place, showering and heading to Nell's. And that is where the chaos started.
Walking up to Nell's door, Kensi knocked and they both waited. Eventually Nell answered the door still in her pajamas, looking for all the world like she just wanted to break down and cry.
"Nell! You were supposed to be ready!" Kensi blurted out.
"Kensi! Sometimes you're worse than Deeks! Nell's upset," Reagan laughed at a now contrite Kensi.
"Nell, what happened?" Reagan asked.
"No, nothing. I'm just not going to make it today. You guys go ahead without me."
"What? Why? Nell, what's wrong?" Kensi immediately became 'momma bear' when one of her 'cubs' was hurt.
"It's nothing like that! It's just…"
"Nell, you can tell us if something happened," Reagan reassured her.
Sighing, she blurted out, "I don't have a damn bathing suit. I thought I still had an old one tucked away somewhere but when I went to look for it, I remembered throwing it away and by then it was too late to go shopping."
Reagan and Kensi looked at each other, speaking with their eyes. Reagan finally nodded and Kensi gave a shrug.
"Well then, let's go get you one then. After all this is our girl's day!" Kensi offered.
"Yeah, and about that. I might have mentioned to Eric where we were going to be today."
Reagan smiled, "That's okay. I think we all might have mentioned to our respective partners where we were going to be today."
"And I might have told him that he was more than welcome to join us."
"Okay so then Eric joins us, no biggie."
"And this conversation may or may not have taken place in the ops room in front of the other guys."
Kensi smiled and Reagan let out a soft chuckle, "Well then let's go get you one fabulous bathing suit, because apparently we are going to have a shit load of company!"
Nell grabbed what she needed and followed Reagan and Kensi out to the car. Kensi drove to Santa Monica and Reagan led them to the shop Deeks had taken her to weeks before, and then the second fiasco ensued.
"I can't wear a bathing suit in front of you two," Nell moaned.
Kensi and Reagan looked at each other slightly confused.
"Nell," Kensi approached with caution, "You agreed to go to the beach with us. Why all of a sudden have you decided you can't wear a suit?"
"I tried to sike myself up for it but look at you two! You're both like 5'8", tanned, goddesses and I'm a 5 foot nothing, pasty white, gnome." Nell sighed.
Reagan, holding a number of suits in her hands, decided tough love was the only thing that was going to work in this situation. She bullied Nell into a dressing room with Kensi's help and thrust the bathing suits at her.
"But-" Nell began.
"We have exactly one hour to get you a suit and get ourselves to the beach. Get your clothes off and pick a damn bathing suit or I will come in here and do it for you!" Reagan threatened.
Wide eyed, Nell looked at this new side of the usually easy going Reagan, "You wouldn't."
Reagan, just about to walk out the door, turned back, "Try me."
Her voice was so cold that Nell began peeling off her clothes before Reagan had actually left the dressing room.
Even Kensi looked at her a little funny.
"What? It drives me crazy when a beautiful woman acts like that. Because it's for one of two reasons, one, someone has made her believe its true (usually a guy), or two, it's an act and she wants attention.
"With Nell I'm more inclined to believe the former rather than the latter."
And just then Nell walked out with her arms wrapped around her waist and clad in a navy blue two piece, and Kensi and Reagan's mouth's hung open. The color showed off her creamy skin and her auburn hair perfectly. But even that wasn't what had Kensi and Reagan standing in shock. Underneath all of the clothes she usually wore was the body of a centerfold!
"Oh my God Nell! Look at you! You look amazing!" Kensi gushed.
Reagan smiled and moved closer to Nell. Standing behind her she turned her to the mirror and pulled her hands away.
Reagan's deep blue eyes stared into Nell's jade green eyes and her voice was barely a whisper, "I don't know who he was, but if I ever find out I'll kill him with my bare hands. You are amazing, smart and gorgeous. And I will tell you that every day until I get it through to you!"
Nell stood there a little stunned. She thought she had hidden her self esteem issues pretty well, but she was finding not much got past Reagan. She had this way of watching everything around her. Not just watching though, but really seeing through the façade people put up. She wondered when someone would finally get through the façade that Reagan wore like a second skin.
"How did…"
"It doesn't matter. What does matter is that you found a suit and we can go to the beach!" the old cheerful Reagan was back and scary, insightful Reagan was sleeping again.
Nell smiled at her and went to the dressing room to grab her things while Kensi and Reagan waited at the counter.
"What did you say to her?" Kensi asked curiously.
Reagan shrugged, "Same as you, why?"
"Cause the look on her face was a mixture of fear and adoration."
"I told her that if I ever find out who the guy was that told her she wasn't perfect, I would kill him with my bare hands."
Kensi gave a little laugh, "You know Rae, you are a little scary sometimes. Brilliant, but scary."
"Keeps you on your toes!" Reagan winked.
Within twenty minutes they were laying on the beach soaking up the sun. Throughout most of the morning Nell kept looking around expectantly. Finally when Reagan thought she might actually do damage to her neck she called her out on it.
"Nell, are you waiting for someone?" she smiled.
Caught, Nell had the grace to look sheepish, "I was kind of hoping that Eric would come by."
Kensi and Reagan exchanged glances and a smirk.
"So you and Eric?" Kensi asked casually.
"What? N…no, no we're not… I mean he's cute and all but…" Nell sighed.
"So you are crushing him but he's not interested?" Reagan asked in her snarky way.
"I think he's interested, but I'm so bad with guys! I tend to get all tense and nervous and instead of flirting I'm a mess!"
"What about 'major mind fuck'?" Reagan asked.
"Who?"
"The guy who made you think you were nothing."
"Oh, he was one of the few. Actually he was only the second and the first doesn't count since we were about 10."
"Nell, all you need is a little confidence. And trust me confidence is sexy." Reagan offered some advice.
"But I'm not sexy. Look at me."
Reagan laughed, "I am, and you are so sexy! Not just because of the way you look (which by the way is stunning) but because right now you are confident with yourself. Guys look for confident women, and the ones who don't are assholes anyway."
Kensi agreed and started to give her thoughts on the subject. Reagan was quiet while they talked and was startled by the phone ringing. The three of them looked at each other for a second before Nell reached for her phone. Looking at the screen her eyes widened.
"It's Eric."
"Well, answer it!" Kensi swatted her.
Pressing the button she held the phone to her ear, "Hello?"
"Hi Eric. Yeah, we're still at the beach. Mmm hmm. Oh dinner? Um yeah, well let me ask them."
She covered the phone with her hand and looked at Kensi and Reagan with excitement in her eyes.
"Eric invited us to dinner with the guys tonight. Kind of like a team bonding thing. Are you guys up for it?"
Reagan had to hide a smile because Nell looked so excited and anxious at the same time.
She shrugged, "I don't have plans tonight, so I'm in. What about you Kens?"
"Sure, why not?"
Nell relayed the message to Eric and then hung up.
"He said they would meet us at 6:30 for drinks and then dinner."
"That gives us," Reagan looked at her phone for the time, "five hours to find some outfits, get our hair done, have mani and pedi's, and get to the restaurant. Alright ladies time to quite the beach and hit Rodeo Drive."
Reagan stood as Kensi and Nell looked at her.
"What, I've never had any girl friends to do a true girls day, so you two are going to happily do whatever it is that girls do on their day out together, with me," she ordered.
"But Reagan Rodeo Drive, I'm not sure I can…" Nell started.
"Stop, I don't want to hear another word. Since you two are being forced to do this for me it's my treat!" she said scooping up her towel and beach bag.
Both Kensi and Nell started to protest until Reagan glared them into silence, "Listen, I have been working for the government since I was 15 years old and never needed to touch any of the money I made. It's just sitting in the bank being useless and I think it's time I spent some of it. Plus I won't take no for an answer, and if I have to get my gun out to threaten you I'm not beneath doing that! Now get up and let's go!"
Reagan turned and headed to Kensi's car leaving Kensi and Nell staring after her.
"Kensi should we let her do this?"
"Well it really doesn't look like we have a choice. Don't worry we'll pay her back some way. Even if I have to hold her down and beat her."
With a shared laugh they collected their things and followed Reagan to the car.
That after noon was a whirlwind of shopping and salons. Reagan almost literally dragged them through the shops on Rodeo Drive: La Pearla, Georgio Armani, Bottega Veneta, Chanel, Cavalli, Fendi, Prada, Michael Kors,YSL, Dolce & Gabbana, Dior, Agent Provocateur, dropping her credit card every time one of them saw something they remotely liked. They all got their hair blown out at the salon and shared some quiet time getting pedicures. She wouldn't listen when Kensi tried to pay once and nearly growled at Nell when she protested the purchase of an amazing sundress at BCBG.
At 6:30 the three of them walked up to the restaurant where the guys were waiting.
"Well look who it is, Charlie's Angels!" Deeks quipped as the three stunning women walked up to the 4 men and one woman standing outside.
Reagan laughed, "Well thank you for noticing!"
Stopping in front of them, they exchanged hellos. Then Sam moved to introduce the woman standing next to him.
"This is my wife Lisa. Lisa this is Kensi, Reagan, and Nell."
The women exchanged hello's as they ventured into the restaurant.
They left the restaurant laughing and joking. Reagan was the last to leave; the easier to observe without being noticed. Eric and Nell were walking close together, talking quietly. Every so often their shoulders would brush. Deeks and Kensi were having some argument about any number of topics they had chosen to argue about over dinner. Reagan had lost count at seventeen. Sam and his wife, Lisa, walked slowly together, he had her hand tucked under his arm and every so often they would give each other small smiles as if to say "I love you."
Reagan watched them and wondered if she was meant to have something like that in her own life. It had been so turbulent for so long that she had convinced herself that she wasn't meant for love and marriage. Those messy emotions gave her hives and had her running as quickly as she could in the other direction. But recently she began to wonder if things could slow down, if she could create a life for herself here in California. And perhaps if she could create a life for herself then maybe there would be a chance for her to be happy with someone in her life.
As she hung back a little more, Callen came up behind her and hung an arm around her neck, pulling her closer.
"Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?" he asked softly in her ear.
She smiled and breathed in slightly, able to smell the warm, wheaty scent of the beer he had been drinking. It was strange, she wasn't a beer drinker, but she loved the smell of a good beer. It was a warm smell, comfortable and reminded her of her father and his friends.
"First rule, Baby Girl," her 'Uncle' Jethro began, "Don't ever marry a Marine."
Reagan blinked at him for a moment, "But you're a Marine Uncle Jethro."
He smiled at her and took her young face in his hands, "And that is exactly why!"
With a smile he kissed her cheek.
"Don't go scaring my Rae of sunshine Jethro. Besides she's too young to think about boys. Right Sunshine?"
Smiling, she wrapped her skinny arms around her father's neck and placed her cheek against his, "Right Daddy."
She loved hugging him, loved the warmth that radiated from his skin, loved the smell of the outdoors, sunshine and sea air, and the smell of the beer he occasionally drank.
"Hey, you still with us?" his voice pulled her back to reality.
She nodded, "Yeah, just got lost in some memories."
"Well, glad you came back to me then," he brushed his lips against her cheek.
She stepped away from him, her eyes holding a warning. He dropped his arm but managed to grab her hand before she moved further away.
Lisa dropped back and shooed Callen to go ahead with Sam. Reluctantly he did and Reagan sighed.
"Sam's talked so much about you, I feel like I've known you for as long as he has," Lisa began
"I wish I could say the same. I knew nothing about Sam's home life until tonight! I really never imagined that he had one," Reagan almost apologized.
Lisa smiled, "It's the way he likes it. He tries to keep our home life as normal as possible. He very rarely brings work home with him. That's how I knew you were special to him. I think he dotes on you almost as much as he does Rachel."
"Rachel?"
"Sorry, our daughter Rachel; she's 12 and she just idolizes her daddy. Sam adores her. When he started talking about you it was with that same pride he talks about Rachel with."
"Really? He talks about me?" she gave a small smile.
"He reminds me so much of my father that he was the first of the team I really bonded with. There are times that I miss my dad so much because Sam reminds me so much of him."
"Sam told me your parents were killed when you were young. I'm sorry."
"Thank you. I was fifteen. It was a long time ago, but sometimes it seems like just yesterday."
"Looks like Callen is pretty smitten," Lisa commented, looking at the two guys walking in front of them, and trying to change the subject.
Reagan looked from Lisa to Callen, "I'm sorry, what?"
Lisa laughed, "I've known Callen for a long time, and I've never seen him like this before."
"Like what?"
"Come on Reagan, the guy is glowing, you know if guys did that! I've never seen him smile like that before, or be as animated or happy."
"And you think this change is because of me?"
"They've changed a lot since you've joined the team. Not just Callen."
Reagan smiled, "They've changed me too."
"That's how it works. But I'm wondering how it is you don't know that Callen has a thing for you?"
Reagan took a deep breath and let it out slowly before she answered Lisa, "I think I've known from the moment we met. I had never felt like that before, and I've been running from it ever since. I guess I'm so afraid of complicating my already complicated life and totally screwing up his. I don't want to hurt him because I can't make a commitment to him, but for some reason I just can't walk away. And I have no idea why I just told you all that."
Lisa laughed, "Because I'm the only person who has called you on it.
"Look Reagan, I don't want to see Callen hurt, but he's a big boy, and honestly just because you get involved doesn't mean you have to make a commitment! Nowhere is it written that kisses are contracts! The two of you should just relax and enjoy yourselves!"
"You make it sound so easy."
Lisa stopped and turned to Reagan, "That's because it is honey. Now I'm gonna stop monopolizing you because that boy is going to pull his neck if he doesn't stop looking back here."
Reagan smiled, "It was really nice meeting you Lisa. And thank you, I sometimes forget how invaluable a mother's advice is. Don't be a stranger, okay? Or you'll have me knocking on your door some random day!"
"You know you are always welcome!" Lisa hugged Reagan and moved to catch up with Sam.
As she passed Callen, walking back to Reagan, she grabbed his wrist. His blue eyes met with her dark ones.
"Take it slow G. She's there with you but any sudden movement is going to send her running."
He nodded and finished the walk to Reagan. She smiled at his approach and thought about what Lisa said.
"Hey."
"Hey yourself."
"Um, Sam's taking Lisa home and I don't want to have them bother driving me too. Can I catch a ride with you?"
"Sure, let me just make sure Nell has a way home."
"You go start the car and I'll make sure all's squared away with them. Though judging from that dress, and Eric being unable to take his eyes off of her, I don't think she's going to have a problem getting a ride home."
"If you think she looks hot in that dress, you should see her in a bikini!" Reagan laughed.
"Only person I'd care to see in a bikini is you," he whispered as he walked away.
"I heard that Callen!" she laughed over her shoulder.
He laughed too. Lisa was right, she thought, maybe it would be okay to just try and feel our way around this thing. Lost deep in thought she pressed the button on her remote to unlock her car. When nothing happened she thought she had been too far away and tried again.
She heard the doors unlock a second before her world became filled with a blinding light, searing heat, and deafening sound. She was lifted from her feet and thrown backwards about ten feet from the force of the explosion. She hit the ground and everything went dark.
She the first thing she heard when she came to was Callen's voice yelling her name and people's screams in the background. Her eyes were having trouble focusing as she blinked and tried to sit up. She groaned as the dizziness and nausea hit her.
"No, stay down! LAPD and the paramedics are on their way. Does anything hurt besides your head?"
She could feel his hands all over her, checking for breaks or lacerations and she gave a choked laugh as she thought this was not exactly the way she imagined his hands on her for the first time.
"Did that hurt?"
"No," she said, "I've got to get up."
"No, you stay until you're checked out."
"Come on Callen, let me up!"
"You're not going anywhere Baby Girl. That blast threw you a good 10 feet and your came down hard," Sam's voice of reason ordered.
Reagan glared up at his mildly blurry image and knew it was futile to argue. The LAPD and paramedics were on the scene shortly after. The police took over crowd control and setting up the crime scene and the paramedics looked over Reagan.
"She's got a mild concussion. She shouldn't be alone tonight."
"She's staying with me," Callen said before anyone could open their mouths.
Where the hell had that come from? He had no idea but he did know that he had just invited temptation itself to stay at his house. What the fuck was he thinking?
"This is ridiculous! I'm fine!"
"Reagan…" Sam's voice warned.
Feeling like a truck had run her over and then backed up to do it again, she conceded defeat.
"Try and keep her up for as long as you can before she goes to sleep. She's got a nasty bump where she hit her head."
Callen and the others who had gathered around nodded.
"Excuse me, Officer Ron Talty. I need a statement from the eye witness."
"She's not giving a statement tonight. I'll bring her in tomorrow to give it," Callen stepped in.
"But it should be done now. What if she forgets something?"
Callen smiled, "Trust me, she won't forget anything. You'll get a full statement tomorrow."
"But…"
"Listen, I'm taking her out of here tonight. Now I know you're going to pull the LAPD card, which will make me in turn pull the federal agent card, and we both know the federal agent card trumps the LAPD card and since she's a federal agent and they are all federal agents I would say my full house beats anything you could throw out."
"Oh would you stop threatening him and get me out of here? And you, I will be at LAPD tomorrow to give my statement. Trust me if you think he's scary," she motioned to Callen, "they are terrifying." she gestured to the rest of them.
The officer glanced at the meancing wall of federal agents and conceded defeat. Callen helped Reagan out of the back of the ambulance and handed her off to Sam and Deeks as he went to smooth things over with the officer in charge.
Leaning heavily on Deeks, Reagan tried to send Sam home with Lisa.
"Sam, take Lisa home. She doesn't need to deal with all this. I'll be okay, they've got me."
He lifted her chin so he could look at her, "You sure you're okay?"
"A little rattled but yeah, I'm okay," she tried to swallow down the nausea that started to rise up again.
Sam brushed a thumb across a scratch and slowly coloring bruise on her cheek, "All right, but you take care of yourself Baby Girl. No heroics. You feel that something's not right you let Callen take you to the hospital."
"Promise," she smiled.
Sam laughed, "Yeah right. Don't fight with him let him take care of you tonight."
Reagan started to nod but stopped when the nausea rose again, "I'll try."
"Well at least that one I believe. I'll come check on you tomorrow; make sure Callen is still alive."
Reagan laughed softly. Before he left Sam told Eric to take Nell home. They said goodbye and headed out while Deeks and Kensi took Reagan to Kensi's car. Kensi slid in the backseat next to Reagan while Deeks went to go find Callen.
Kensi had Reagan's hand in her own and she leaned over and brushed some hair off of her face, "You really okay?"
Reagan tried to smile, "Sure, besides the splitting headache, blurry vision, dizziness, nausea, and various scrapes and bruises, I'm fine."
Kensi laughed and squeezed her hand. Reagan sighed and laid her aching head on Kensi's shoulder.
"No sleeping maninha," Kensi gave her a nudge.
Reagan smiled though kept her eyes closed, "I didn't know you spoke Portugese."
Kensi laughed, "There's a lot you don't know about yet. We've just got to keep you from getting blown up long enough to learn it all."
At Kensi's joke Reagan's smile fell.
"Aww, come on querida, I was just kidding," Kensi squeezed her hand again.
"I know. That was just the first time that happened to me."
"Really? Even all the years you've worked as a federal agent?"
"My positions were very covert. I was a cleaner so to speak. When ops when wrong they sent me in to clean them up."
Deeks got back in the car and turned around to look at them.
"She okay?" he asked Kensi.
"Shaken up, bruised, but she'll live," Kensi replied.
"Hello! I'm sitting right here!" Reagan cried.
"Yeah, but you would just lie to me if I asked you."
"And you wouldn't in my position?"
"Hell yeah, I'd lie my ass off, but we're not talking about me. And you're not getting out of resting. That blast threw you like a ragdoll in a room full of toddlers?"
She cracked open an eye, "Seriously? Where do you come up with this shit?"
He gave her a lopsided grin, "Talent, pure talent."
Kensi snorted and Reagan groaned as Callen slid into the passenger's seat.
"What happened? Is she okay?" he looked from Deeks to Kensi.
"Why do you all keep talking about me like I'm not here? And I'm fine… well, mostly fine."
"All right, let's get out of here."
Deeks drove moderately, trying to avoid jolting the car but it just drove Reagan even crazier.
"Deeks! Drive like a normal person! Even an ambulance would have driven faster than this!" she finally complained.
"Nice, try and drive carefully and this is the thanks I get. Next time I'll make you run next to the car."
"I would have made it there before you!" she mumbled.
"I heard that!"
"Because you were supposed to!"
"Okay enough you two! God you fight like siblings! Look we're here," Kensi finally got in the middle.
Callen got out and walked around to help Reagan out.
"Hey, feel better okay?" Kensi gave her a hug.
Reagan agreed, giving her a squeeze back and then took Callen's hand to help her out of the car. That more than anything told Kensi that Reagan wasn't okay in any sense of the word.
"We'll check in with you tomorrow," Deeks told Callen as Kensi slid into the front seat.
"If you need anything call okay?" she told him.
He nodded and led Reagan to the front door.
"You okay?" he asked her softly as he fished out his keys.
"I think I would really like to sit down," she answered honestly.
"Come on in," he helped her into the house, noting just how much more she was leaning on him now.
Callen let her in the front door, flipping the light on, and upon entering the living room Reagan stopped in her tracks. Besides a small end table holding a lamp and a reclining chair there was a clean but used looking couch sitting in the room. On the shelf above the fire place was a tea box and a tiny fuzzy plant clinging to a rock.
She looked around in shock and then turned to Callen, "Were you robbed?"
He smiled and shook his head, "I have this thing about settling down in one place. I just never bought anything to furnish the place after I moved in. There is a bed in the bed room which you can have. I mostly sleep on the floor so it's not a problem."
"Um, okay," Reagan wasn't sure what else to say.
The house had besides the living room, three bedrooms, a large sunny kitchen, and a closed in back porch. Except for the table and chairs in the kitchen, and the bed in the master bedroom, there was no other furniture in the house.
"Talk about living light," Reagan joked.
"I moved around so much that I got used to not having anything. And even though I've been here for a couple of years, I still have that feeling that bringing something in is too permanent.
"Yeah, cause and area rug would definitely say permanence!" Reagan gave a weak laugh.
"Come on and sit on the couch. I'm going to get you some ice for you're head, and some water. No falling asleep on me!"
Leaning her head back on the couch she smiled, "Scouts honor."
Callen headed into the kitchen and was back within moments.
"Here," he handed her the water.
Sitting up she took it from him, taking a sip. He sat on the couch next to her and placed the ice on the back of her head. She winced but didn't pull away.
"You really okay?"
"I just need a good night's sleep. Not that it happens very often."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really."
"Do you know anyone who would target you?"
"Callen, please, I'll be ready to talk about all this tomorrow. Right now I just want to pretend it didn't happen."
"Only because you were thrown 10 feet and cracked your head on the pavement will I agree to back off."
"Thanks a lot."
"Hey why did you offer to let me stay here tonight?"
Callen smiled, "I just wanted you to feel comfortable somewhere, nothing else behind the offer."
"Nothing, really? Hmph, I thought maybe there would be a little something!" she winked at him trying for playful but not succeeding.
"Well, I appreciate it then, but do you really want me hanging around. I'm not a great sleeper and I tend to be messy."
"That's okay, I hardly sleep at all. Twenty or thirty minutes at a time, and I don't have a lot of stuff so you're messiness will make the place look like someone actually lives there."
"Well in that case thanks for giving me a place to stay that I could actually feel comfortable in."
"You're welcome. Okay, come here, lean back."
Too tired to argue and too battered to feel anything but gratefulness for the attention Reagan leaned back against his chest and let him pamper her. As she lay against him he brushed his fingers through the hair at her temple and started thinking about this strange 'thing' he and Reagan had together. They had spent time together outside of the work since their first encounter and each time had been more electric than the time before. He knew that she was attracted to him, the looks, the touches and even the few and far between kisses she had bestowed upon him. He knew they both were at once amazingly attracted to each other and completely wary about any relationship that would go beyond friendship. But somehow he kept forgetting all of the reasons that he should stay away from her, and remembering all of the reasons he simply didn't want to.
As Reagan lay on his chest with her eyes closed, it gave Callen way too much time to contemplate what he had done. As he sat and analyzed his actions he realized that Reagan was the first woman since Tracy that he was truly interested in, in more than just a one nighter way. He wasn't sure how it happened, especially since he knew next to nothing about her. He knew what Sam would say, that the heart knew what it needed to, and what Kensi would say, that it was his 'man' parts turning his brain to mush. Deeks would probably crack someone liner using some made up word or something, and Hetty would just give him that wry smile and walk away.
Lying there Reagan began to think about what Lisa had said earlier this evening and how quickly Callen had jumped in when the paramedic had said she couldn't be alone tonight. She knew that the flirting had moved beyond simple flirting and that there was some major sexual tension between them that she didn't plan on or want, but she found it really hard to stay away from him. She just was drawn in and somehow caught up in the web that was G. Callen.
Sometimes she wondered if it would have been any guy that she had become close to, or if it was just Callen? After all her life before this hadn't allowed for any kind of close relationships and most of her time with a guy had been sweet and painless with no strings attached, quite the opposite of what was happening with Callen.
He was deep in thought when he heard her soft voice.
"Hey Callen?" she looked up at him, a frown marring her smooth brow.
She pulled him from his thoughts as he looked down at her. He still couldn't believe the panic she caused in him, but knew it was definitely worth the racing heart.
"Yeah?"
"What does the 'G' stand for?" she asked it so softly he was actually unsure of what she had said at first.
"What?" he sounded confused.
Reagan smiled softly, "The 'G', what is the 'G' for?"
He didn't know what to say at first and stumbled over the words, "I um… It's a…"
Whether she saw he was uncomfortable or not was beside the point because she stopped sounding concerned, and used laughter to turn him around.
"Is that your gangsta' name? Do you and Sam moonlight as rappers on the weekends?" she gave him a silly smile.
It sounded so absurd that he had to laugh, "No, we don't moonlight as rappers. And no, it isn't my gangsta' name."
He paused for a minute unsure of where to go with this. Sure she was part of the team and as such had some right to his background, but on the other hand, how do you tell a woman that you are interested in that you had no family, and didn't even know your first name? It sounded ridiculous even to his own ears.
"I, um… I don't know," he decided to be completely honest.
Reagan looked at him curiously, not saying anything.
"How could you not know your name?" she asked.
It wasn't a joke or even said in a way to mock him. She was straight forward and concerned. He realized that it wasn't that he didn't know it that upset her, but why he didn't know it.
"I was very young when I was orphaned. I have no recollection of being called anything. And they never told me what the 'G' stood for. So I've always just been 'G' or Callen."
Reagan was silent for a long time, contemplating what to say. She didn't want to say something that would insult him, but on the other hand she wanted him to know she felt for him.
"I'm sorry. I'm not sure what is worse, losing your parents at a young age and having to live with that loss, or never knowing who they were at all." she said softly.
They sat in silence for a while before either of them spoke again.
"It's strange," Reagan began.
"What, that I haven't got a clue what my name is?"
"No, well yes, but not that. I meant it's strange that all of us are broken in some way. That each of us has lost our innocence at such a very young age. I mean you were an orphan and never knew your parents. Kensi and I lost our parents at such a young age. Deeks' father was abusive. And Sam, well Sam is a Seal, and they just aren't right to begin with!" she laughed at the last.
Callen chuckled, "Don't let him hear you say that."
Reagan smiled and closed her eyes again. Callen closed his eyes reveling in the feel of her in his arms. After a few minutes he opened his eyes only to realize she had fallen asleep. She had curled up and snuggled into his chest. He moved slowly, so as not to wake her, and lifted her from the couch. Walking down the hall and into the bedroom, he placed her on the bed. With her lying there in her heels and dress he tried to decide what to do.
Reagan snuggled into the warmth behind her, still in a twilight sleep. She sighed in contentment, feeling better than she had the night before, and then she was suddenly wide awake. Her heart beat quickly as she held her breath and glanced over her shoulder. Lying next to her, his hand resting on her hip, sleeping as peacefully as a baby, was Callen. The breath she finally let out woke him.
"Morning," he said sleepily.
Reagan said nothing and continued to stare at him.
"Sleep well?" he continued with the small talk.
"Um, yes. Did you?" she finally answered.
Callen smiled, "Actually I did."
"I thought you didn't sleep. I mean you know, 20 minutes here, 20 minutes there, but not all night," she turned to face him.
He propped his head on one hand, "I don't. I haven't slept more than an hour or so in a couple of years now. This was the first time I was able to sleep through the night in a long time."
"That's great, but why are you in bed with me?" Reagan raked her brain for a memory from last night.
"You don't remember?" Callen frowned.
"I remember earlier, and then getting to your house, but I was so tired last night I don't even remember coming to bed."
"You didn't. I carried you in here after you fell asleep on the couch."
"Okay, so then how did we end up in bed together?" Reagan raised an eyebrow.
"I know I offered you the bed and I originally was going to sleep on the couch, but when I saw how big the bed was I decided to take the other side. I thought I would be able to stay on my side. Guess not."
"So we didn't…" Reagan started.
"No we didn't," he assured her then snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her close, their bare limbs becoming entangled.
"But we could if you…"
"Woah there," Reagan pushed him back a little.
"I may think you're extremely hot, and I may totally want to take you up on this offer, but I have a rule about sleeping with men."
Callen gave her a lazy smile, "And that is?"
"If I don't trust you with my life, I certainly won't trust you with my heart. And no matter what people say, you give a piece of yourself to everyone you sleep with."
"Mmm, hmm, but you want to."
Reagan laughed, "Do you boys ever grow up? Yes, I want to, but we barely know each other. Sex should come after friendship."
"So you want me to wait?" Callen asked cautiously.
Reagan shrugged as if she didn't care, "If you want to. If you don't, I'll understand you got a better offer. But just so you know I won't play second fiddle to anyone. So if you take another offer, this one comes off the table. And then you'll never know if it was the one you should have waited for."
"Point taken, I'll have to consider another offer very carefully before I make a decision. You know, if one even comes along."
Reagan smiled and rose from the bed, heading to the bathroom to shower. Suddenly she stopped and turned slightly back to Callen who was watching her leave, her long hair brushing the top of her lacy black panties and falling over her shoulder.
"Oh, and thank you for getting me ready for bed last night. I don't usually wear anything to bed but leaving the panties was probably a good idea."
Callen visibly swallowed as Reagan laughed and disappeared into the bathroom. He fell back in bed, locking his hands behind his head. This was one offer he was definitely going to wait for, he thought.