I was passed okay to go to the campground a few days later, so I went back. As soon as I arrived I smelled the scent of grass. It smelled peaceful. This is what I needed right now, peace. I needed to escape from reality, and the smell filled that need. I walked forward on a dirt road crunching each step, no other human in sight. I stopped and exhaled. This wouldn't last long. Soon, I would go back to my friends and have to put on my mask. Here, I could take it off and breathe complaining only to the wind. It felt nice.
A half hour later I saw my friends around the campfire, Riley and Zay cuddling together. Zay looked pleased but Riley looked lost. She just stared at the fire, her hands on her lap. I walked up and smiled. No one said anything. They all just kind of looked off into the distance. Josh was nowhere in sight, so I sat down next to Lucas. He put his blanket over me and I could smell the him. He smelled safe, like someone who you could spill your heart out to. He could protect me from life itself, from the scary problems of reality. It was tricky. Smells are nothing in the world of real. In this world, how am I sure that revealing my mask would stop problems? How do I know that he wouldn't run away, becoming a scared lost soul? I didn't and kept my feelings and the mask's secrets inside. Everything was the way it should be. I saw Charlie coming over and hugged Lucas tighter. At least he could protect me from Charlie.
"Beautiful night, right guys?" He asked and turned his head towards me. He winked. I closed my eyes, shaking him off. Trying to shake off the memories of the emotional torture he put me through. But I couldn't, it would always be a part of me. A permanent rock in my stomach always reminding me of the past until I can clear my conscience.
"Yeah, reminds me of Texas," Zay said kissing riley's head. He looked up at him and smiled, laying her head on his shoulder. They both looked so pleasant together, so beautiful. I looked at Lucas, looking for a similar connection, but his eyes said different. His eyes communicated a spark. A connection. We didn't look beautiful together, we looked like misfits. But we had a connection. We had feelings. Looking pretty isn't everything. Maybe they did have feelings, but they didn't communicate it to others. I looked away from Lucas, I didn't want to think about how imperfect Riley and Zay were because they were supposed to be the perfect couple. Lucas and I couldn't be, we didn't fit. Suddenly, Riley and Zay looking beautiful wasn't evident anymore. It was back to Riley looking sad and lost, looking for a map to navigate herself.