Chapter 10, my longest yet! Hopefully someone actually sees this...

I haven't been updating my stories as often, because I've gone into a 'reading' phase, rather than 'writing'. And I'm not sure how often I'll be able to update once school starts, but I might have more incentive to write. Who knows?

Anyway, Fred, it's your turn to break the 4th wall.

Fred: But I'm already gonna break the 4th wall in this chapter!

Me: I really don't care, just go ahead and disclaim my story.

Fred: She doesn't own anything except for me, Octavius, all the Alfreds, Howard, Jack, DAD...

Me: Fred

Fred: Box... Dragomir... Gravybutt...

Me: FRED

Fred: Fine

Fred: She doesn't own anything you recognize from any franchise, but she owns OCs and spaceships

Me: Thank you

Octavius: great job, fred!

Me: why must you always use exclamation points

Octavius: it's fun!

Me: who cares, onto the story!

"Mission REPORT!" yelled Emmett over the intercom. He was apparently really getting into the role of team leader, although right now he was trying to sound like a general.

Fred sighed. "Scarif in sight. Initializing landing procedures, Emmett."

"That's HIGH GENERAL OF THE REBELLION Emmett to you!" Emmett yelled back. "Ha ha, just kidding. We don't really HAVE ranks. Anyway, CONTINUE!" The speaker shut down.

"Are we really going on a field trip to SCARIF?!" shouted Octavius. "I mean, like, people DIED here! That's REALLY dark!"

Fred banged his head on the steering panel of the Alfred ship. "That's sort of the point, Octavius. We want to see what we're fighting for. At least, we do, the Alfreds do, Emmett, Luke and Han do, and Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Ezra do. Also, can everyone just stop talking in capital letters? It's really annoying."

"You mean that it's REALLY annoying!" answered Octavius. When Fred glared at him, he shook his head. "Sorry, bro! I feel you, really! I just couldn't resist!"

The speaker crackled to life once again, and Anakin's voice came over the intercom. "Okay, there's two points I have to bring up. First, talking in capital letters is officially annoying, as well as illegal for some reason, and Fred already asked you to stop, Octavius. Just stop, bruh. Secondly, we don't even know if all the people from the Rogue One mission actually died. I mean, look at me, look at Padmé, look at Obi-Wan, look at Dak. I don't know if we should believe what we've been told. Just keep the Alfreds from roaming too far, and follow orders."

Ezra responded, sounding bored. "Yeah, but how would the Rogue One peeps have escaped the planet without anyone seeing them? General Syndulla told me that all the ships on the surface were destroyed. If they survived, they're still there somewhere. Imperial forces left the planet a while ago, but how could they survive for this long?"

"I want to be a general…" Emmett murmured dejectedly.

Alfred shrugged, ignoring the leader of the Rebellion. "Time weird. Remember? Anakin not much older than Luke. Anakin Luke's dad. Obi-Wan have no gray hair. Obi-Wan old. Emmett kid in real life, but grown-up in movie and girlfriend amount. What going on?"

"Did you just call me old?" inquired Obi-Wan.

"I agree, Alfred," Han admitted. "I mean, I don't agree that Obi-Wan is old, it's just… time is so weird, I don't know what to expect next. It's like someone is writing a story, and wants their favorite characters in it so bad that they just slam everyone together without good reasons. It would be hard to believe that anyone could have survived that explosion from the Death Star, but it was hard to believe that Anakin's body parts getting cut off was actually a decoy doing the whole thing to ruin Anakin's rep. There's too much to think about, and I don't want to think about it right now. Honestly, I just want to have a nice field trip without any explosions, Imperials, undead people, or spider bites. Is that so much to ask?"

Fred sighed. For once, could everyone just be serious? He wasn't asking too much, just a little bit of actual sincerity. Even the Alfreds, his best friends, were always joking around, never taking anything seriously. People had to shape up.

(If you have been paying any attention to this story, then you know that no one really takes anything seriously, and if they do, they go back to their old ways very soon. Don't bother, Fred. No one in this story really cares about "seriousness", because it sounds too much like Siri, and everyone in the story hates Siri.)

As the Rebels landed, Fred took a look at their surroundings. The beach had once been beautiful, with a fringe of palm trees and ferns, but now it was reduced to rubble, still smoking in some places. Two palm trees were still standing, burnt to a crisp. They stood alone in the desolated landscape, two pillars that survived the destruction.

Ezra whistled. "Do you still doubt that the Death Star struck here, Han? I think the proof is standing in front of you."

"Actually, it's behind you," answered a voice behind them. The Rebels turned to see a young woman aiming a rocket launcher at them. Behind her, a young man and a fuzzy alien aimed their rifles at the small group of Rebels. "Hands up. Why did you come here?"

Fred put his hands up and shrugged. "Field trip. How about you? You don't seem like you want to stay here much longer yourselves."

"You can say that again," the young woman agreed. Her eyes seemed to soften, just a bit. They hardened again in an instant, and she resumed aiming her rocket launcher. "Are you Rebels, or should I blast you?"

"Woah, woah, woah, we're Rebels!" Octavius answered for the group.

"Who you be?" asked Alfreddy. "Why here? Not good place for vacation."

The man sighed. "I'm Cassian Andor, this is Jyn Erso, and this fuzzy dude is Bistan. We were here to steal the Death Star plans, blow up the Imperial bases on the surface, and escape. Not on vacation, to answer Yellow Dude's question. The first mission went well, but not the last two. The main base is down, but three more are scattered around this area. All the ships were defueled, and the fuel was immediately transferred to the base, which got blown up. Most of the ships were destroyed, so we can't really escape. We have one ship that we managed to salvage, but we still need some fuel, and explosives wouldn't be bad, either."

Fred was confused. "According to, I don't know, the whole world, you guys all died like five years ago. I mean, I'm not saying I'm mad that you're alive, but how did you survive?"

Jyn lowered her rocket launcher. "I think that my Kaiber crystal put up a force field around us, but the crystal itself shattered in the process. We didn't tell anyone at Command about this, so they spread the 'facts' that all of us on the surface were killed, so that no one would come after us. We were pretty sure that the Rebels had been infiltrated, so we knew that it wasn't safe to tell anyone that we had survived, if we wanted the Imperials to ruin our plans of blowing up their bases. Honestly, it only feels like we've been here five months."

Anakin shrugged. "Time's weird. Don't dwell on it, or you'll go crazy. You want us to fuel your ship and provide you with explosives? We could help you blow up the Imperial bases. Wait 'till the rest of the Rebels hear what we did today!"

"Some fuel and explosives would really help," admitted Jyn. "You can help if you want, but don't feel obliged. Thanks for the help."

Naturally, all the Rebels volunteered to help blow up the Imperial bases. The Jedi ignited their lightsabers, the Alfreds unleashed their powers, Emmett pulled out his laser swords, and Fred and Octavius pulled out heavy-duty blasters. They took some fuel out of their ships, fueling Cassian and Jyn's U-Wing. Explosives were pulled out and primed, and the Rebels took off, heading for their first target, twenty kilometers south.

Fred radioed the rest of the Rebels. "Hello, Star Command, this is Fred. We got a little more than we bargained for on Scarif and—"

"Did you find DEAD BODIES?" yelled Benny into the comm. "Sausage! I TOLD you that you shouldn't have gone to SCARIF, because it's SCARY!"

Fred sighed. "How have you gotten that dark, Benny? And please, lay off the puns. No, we found alive people, and we're going to blow some stuff up. Get the base ready for a big ship, alright? By the way, can you PLEASE stop talking in capital letters?"

President Bizness answered, "Wow. Sometimes, people are just hypocritical. We will inform the Rebels that a big ship will be arriving. By the way, should we buy marshmallows when we get a chance? We have been using them at an astonishing rate. Can you also tell Han that Benny just covered his Commander base with cheese?"

Fred sighed. "That has nothing to do with what I'm talking about, great, I have no idea, and I'll tell Han that you guys wrecked his base again. Now, we're about to start blowing stuff up, so bye!" As he hung up, he sighed. Could anyone take anything seriously?

Soon, the Rebels had arrived at the first base. Anakin, Obi-Wan, Ezra, and Cassian switched on autopilot and leaped out of their ships, landing in the courtyard of the castle-like fortress. Fred watched on the sensors as they entered the left corridor and started navigating the maze-like passageways. Fred gave some directions as they penetrated deeper into the fortress. "Take a left. Right. Now, straight for the next two intersections. Left. No, your other left! Don't be a Dory! There you go. Left. Right. Take the ramp down, and… there you are. The middle of the base."

The sensors showed a cavernous room, filled with barrels of oil. The four started planting the primed explosives, the Jedi flipping up to the top catwalks, while Cassian loaded the floor with the explosives. Soon, the room had been filled with bombs, enough to severely weaken the base and set the oil on fire. The base would start to collapse, along with all of the Imperial's supplies. Cassian started a two-minute timer on the bombs, and the four ran out, following the path that Fred laid out for them. Just as they reached the final door, they caught sight of an unwelcome guest; a squad of battle droids.

"Oh, come on!" whined Anakin. "Battle droids ruin everything, even my movies!"

The defective droids, apparently taking offense at this insult, opened fire on the four fighters, but they couldn't predict what happened next. Obi-Wan tossed his lightsaber, and it arched through the squadron, slicing down droids by the dozens. Ezra pulled his lightsaber, but instead of igniting it, he shot several energy blasts toward the droids. Cassian opened up fire, as Anakin Force-pushed the remainder of the droids into a tiny storage room, crushing them into a tiny ball of scrap metal. They ran outside and jumped into their waiting ships, and blasted off, just as the base started to quake from the force of the explosions.

At the second base, Luke, Han, and Emmett jumped out with Bistan, and started slashing their way through several bunker doors. Bistan wasn't a big talker, but he sure was a big blaster. This base was organized as a huge tower, so Fred advised Luke and Han to jump down into the basement while Emmett located the support columns.

Luke and Han planted explosives on the beams that Emmett told them, but as they continued along the base of the structure, Fred picked up a strange signal. "Ground Crew, this is Airborne. Ground Crew, come in. We're picking up readings of troopers in the base. They aren't aware of your presence, but they are headed your way. This is supposed to be a hit and run mission, hurry up!"

"Too late for that, Airborne," answered Han, as he kicked the first trooper to the ground. "Found two squads of troopers in the base. Engaging now."

"No, no!" yelled Fred. "Escape, finish with the explosives, and get out of there!"

Octavius patted Fred on the arm. "Fred, you know you can't control them! Calm down, and let them do their thing! They're great fighters, don't worry!"

Sounds of battle could be heard over the comms. Even though Han and Luke were refraining from using their lightsabers, they knocked down trooper after trooper. Han punched one in the jaw, then swung around with a roundhouse kick, knocking out one who had tried to sneak up on him. Luke ran up to the wall, and used it as a kickoff point for him to flip over, deserting the troopers following him. The dudes ran smack into a wall, knocking themselves out. Bistan guarded Emmett fiercely, blasting anyone within a ten-foot radius of the duo. Emmett, meanwhile, was continuing to plant explosives on the supporting columns, working as fast as his claw hands would let him.

Finally, Emmett pushed down the last explosive, turned it, and set on a receiver. "I'm done, guys! Let's get out of here!" The foursome dashed out the way they came, and once they were several hundred yards out, the other ships lowered, allowing them to jump on. As soon as they were safe, Emmett pressed a big red button.

The whole Imperial building, with all the troops in it shuddered and crashed to the ground.

"Aw, yeah!" yelled Han. "I forgot how much I love to BLOW STUFF UP!"

"Letters!" replied Fred.

The final Imperial base appeared before the squadron. Fred, Octavius, the Alfreds, and Jyn jumped to the ground in front of the huge converted strip mine. As the group approached the gate, lasers activated, searing the ground right in front of the group. The group stumbled back, barely evading the first volley of deadly beams. Before Fred, Octavius, or Jyn could do anything, the Alfreds leaped into action. Alfrank called out to the Alfreds, helping them to dodge unseen lasers. Little Timmy rose up and destroyed the motion sensor that had activated the trap, while Alfred, Alfreya, and Alfreddy smashed the laser emitters. Alfrella used her poison to burn through the doorway in an instant. After reverting back to normal, the Alfreds ran through, cheering and high-fiving each other.

"Oh, come on! I wanted to bust out my rocket launcher!" grumbled Jyn. "Can't those little guys do something else? It's probably dangerous for them here. Honestly? They have the brainpower of little kids. Should we get them to stop?"

Fred shook his head. "At this point? They're way too excited. I know the Alfreds better than you. You'd have to force them to stop destroying stuff now."

"They're just little yellow cubes now! They're in a lot of danger, and they might just make the mission more complicated. The normal Alfreds can't say no to me. I can convince them," stated Jyn dismissively.

Octavius smirked. "And what if… the other guys say no?!"

Instead of answering, Jyn ran into the main tunnel of the base, and Fred and Octavius struggled to keep up with her. The tunnel sloped slowly downward, and the three caught up to the Alfreds, who were deactivating defense after defense. As they got deeper, the traps only grew easier to dismantle. Soon, the group barely even had to stop running at each system. Jyn and Octavius were happy about this, but Fred was suspicious. If they were getting closer to the prize, where the valuables would be stored, wouldn't the traps become harder to dismantle instead of easier?

After several minutes of this race, the group stopped for a breather. Fred didn't want to discourage his team, but he had to outline his misgivings. "Guys, don't you think that the traps should be getting harder instead of easier? I mean, if we're hypothetically getting closer to the gem storage, wouldn't the traps be more powerful? In the other bases, the groups were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Here, the traps seem to be ready for us."

Octavius shrugged. "I don't see that, Fred! Wouldn't they put the hardest traps at the front, so that people could be stopped as soon as possible?"

Jyn shook her head. "Fred is right. If people got past the first traps, the Imperial would want their harder, more expensive traps to catch them. They would put an easy trap first, and if people got past that, they would be captured by a harder system, and it wouldn't cost as much to repair the first defense. Which means;"

"It's a trap," sighed Fred. "This whole thing is one big one."

Just as Fred made this ominous statement, the whirring sound of squadrons being activated filled the corridor. Ten large, armored droids approached the group of Rebels. Laser cannons mounted on their shoulders started blasting away, while small targeting missiles zoomed toward the intruders. The droids pulled out swords, which they used to deflect the blaster bolts that Fred, Octavius, Jyn, and Alfreya shot their way. Little Timmy tried to grow to smash the robots, but he only grew more vulnerable for their laser cannons. He was knocked down by the laser bolts, unharmed but dazed. While Alfrank tried to move Little Timmy out of the way, Alfrella jumped on the swords of the droids, only to be shoved against the wall, her poison having no effect. Alfreddy launched spears at the droids, but they had no effect against the armored machines. As the Alfreds tried valiantly to get through the droids, the group was pushed back, until they were backed against the end of the long hallway.

Fred looked around desperately. There were no side corridors, and the droids blocked off all means of escape. They were outgunned, outnumbered, and had no plan except try to bash the droids, which was clearly not working. Why couldn't a Jedi have come with them? Fred kept blasting, but he knew that no regular old blasters, like his, stood a chance. They needed a new plan, and fast. As Fred kept blasting, and the droids kept deflecting with their swords, he got an idea. A crazy idea, of course, but an idea.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" yelled Fred. The blast of sound seemed to throw the droids off guard. Fred leaped forward, using Alfrank's hat as a springboard. He landed on the arm of a droid, and the other droids aimed and fired their lasers, all at once. Fred, however, was already gone. He was on the ground now, pulling the sword out of the destroyed droid's hand. He slashed another droid's arm clean off, gaining another sword. He jumped forward, slamming holes into the chests of the other eight droids, leaving clear spots for Jyn and Octavius to blast. Alfred landed on the head of a droid, using it as a vantage point to hit more with spells. Soon, the floor was covered with the rubble of smashed droids.

"Nice one, Fred!" yelled Octavius. "Snazzy swords! I wish I had some!"

Fred smiled. "Only I'm cool enough to have these swords, Octavius!"

Octavius frowned. "You need to work on your jokes, dude!"

"That wasn't a joke, dude!"

"Dude!"

"Dude."

Jyn sighed in exasperation. "Sorry to interrupt your bromance, but we still have an Imperial base to blow up. Do your stupid weapons thing later. Can Timmy walk?"

Little Timmy stood up, and shrank down to a normal size. "I okay. Time to make base go boom boom!"

Soon, the TNT was primed and ready to go. Fred rigged up a remote launch procedure, and the group of Rebels ran back down the long hallway. As the Rebels jumped into the waiting ships, Fred punched the button. "Bye, Imp base. I'll not miss you!"

Octavius smiled. "This day will go down in history, as the first day that Fred Ultra ever said something even remotely funny!"

As the base exploded, the Rebels took off and flew into formation. Jyn, Cassian, and Bistan joined them. When Emmett offered to let them into the Rebellion, the three agreed. Everyone was happy. Life was great.

Emmett, however, had one more statement to make. "Okay, guys! We need to take one more vote. All in favor of more field trips to Scarif, say Yay! All in favor of never going back to Scarif, say Nay!"

No! thought Fred. Life would suck for all eternity if they went back to Scarif, since everything was so boring now.

Apparently, everyone else thought the same thing.

"NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" everyone yelled.

"Whip!" shouted Benny over the intercom.

Han shrugged. "It's unanimous, then. Benny, you say 'whip' before 'nay nay', not after. And for gosh sakes, watch your letters."

People hate capital letters so much, they're willing to break the 4th wall for it.

Anyway, next chapter will make you feel completely trippy, as it involves portals, and long, drawn-out discussions about the multiverse. And to what end? Why must I torture you with the next chapter?

Find out next chapter!

~Horseluv