"They call me cry baby, cry baby, but I don't fucking care. Cry baby, cry baby, I laugh through my tears. Cry baby, cry baby, cause I don't fucking fall to the ground, I just let them drown"
Friend
The latest installment in the Vivid Insomnia Astro Boy fan fiction series by Emicaustic and Kaitlyn Kaidraman.
Chapter Ten: Cry Baby (Part One)
Atom sighed and gazed at his feet for some time in the room's hush, it wasn't until he heard strides drawing closer and somebody stroll into the room.
Tenma shut the door behind him and sat down in a close-by seat in the corner.
Atom didn't even look at him, he felt so ashamed and tried to hide his pain, still having the emotional impact of what's he's done lingering in the back of his mind.
He didn't want to be around anyone else, still having the belief that the way he was, and more so who he was– wasn't someone or something worth people's time or respect.
"I'm sorry you have to deal with me." Atom confessed
Tenma glanced over at him.
Atom sighed again and got up from the floor.
He started stretching and moving his arms about before finally sighing and sitting back down.
Not much was said.
"Someone should be returning soon for me, I uh, told them a few things, maybe shed a few tears, I dunno, did I yell? Gosh, I feel so drugged right now…" Atom subsequent to talking started laughing at himself.
"What do you mean?" Tenma asked.
"Well I uh, put in a request to be shut down." Atom said in a quiet yet distressed tone.
Tenma's brows furrowed slightly. Enough that Atom noticed and looked away, assuming the worst of what Tenma might let slip from his lips...
"Atom…." Tenma stood from his seat.
Atom cringed at the sound of his name.
"Yell at me! I deserve it. I've been a terrible friend and I shouldn't be alive anymore!" Thoughts rushed through his head.
But to his surprise, he felt two arms envelop him in warmth.
"Please don't be like that…."
The words came out much softer than he expected.
Atom would have looked up at Tenma but he was bouncing left and right with emotions, last time he swore he was drugged happy and now his eyes were drooping and weakness poisoned him.
"I have no motivation to be here, no need to lecture me this time on how to be a better person! Hahaha! I'm uh…. tired and crazy, I've had enough with today and yesterday, I should give my eyes an additional thousand years to simply rest and set aside time off"
Atom made a sound as if to speak and all of a sudden for a minute the madness didn't get to him, only a now hyper-realization of everything around him.
"No one even cares!" Atom whined, setting the tone for his distress.
"It's like…. I dunno... "
Atom lost his train of thought.
"I just don't wanna be a burden to anyone anymore, I'm sorry I just can't! No one…. wants someone like me around, someone who just laughs through their tears all the time because they're such a three year old, or someone who's needy and needs attention 24/7, I don't wanna be that burden. Never." Atom attempted to conceal his tears once more.
He eventually just gave in and slowly let himself slip into a depressed state of mind as the tears ran down his cheeks, sniffling, he wiped a couple tears from his eyes and constrained a giggle to facilitate the agony.
Atom finally looked up at Tenma.
"You know I'm doing this out of best interest and safety of everyone, I'm not d-doing this to hurt you or harm anyone else."
Tenma let Atom go and held him by his shoulders within an arms-length away.
"I really don't want to say this…. but I have no choice…. This is the stupidest thing you've ever done."
"I know right." Atom tried forcing another laugh but almost choked on his own tears.
"This isn't something to laugh about."
"I can't help it okay?! I really need to stop crying…" Atom took a moment to wipe his eye before sighing.
Meyer walked into the room.
"Oh! Well, this is uhhhh awkward, I uhhh, didn't expect company…." He said in an awkward tone when he saw Atom wasn't the only one in the room.
"I uh, heard your request…. so I pulled a few strings and uhhhh someone should be coming in for you soon….."
Tenma stood and approached the quirky man.
He took a step back in cowering fear.
"I am Atom's guardian. Don't you think it would have been wise… no… required that you got my permission beforehand?"
"I uh, didn't know you were here, and I uhhh, I just do what the people out front tell me, trust me i've only been here a few months, bear with me while I go run outside and uhhh, do something else…." Meyer quickly left the room in a panic.
"No one told me he was gonna show up! Oh crap oh crap, you know I just got this job after working my butt off in college and now they're probably gonna kill me, how wonderful!"
"Don't worry he's new here, he doesn't know what he's doing, honestly." Atom said to Tenma.
"Let me guess. You're using that to your advantage?"
"Ummmmm, maybe?"
Tenma sat himself besides Atom.
"Do you mind if we have a talk?"
"Sure, just ummmmm, don't yell."
"I won't. I promise."
Atom nodded.
"I was in the almost exact same situation you are in years ago."
"Really?"
"Yes. Of course I never resorted to medicine, however, I understand how you're feeling."
Atom sighed.
A faint sound of a conversation was heard outside of the room.
"Well, what do you want me to do?! We can't say no to the kid if he got down on his knees and asked us to shut him down!"
"And I can't lose a job I just got, you see they never taught us these kinds of things in school, you just learn the basics and the rest is up to you….."
"Just go in there and tell them we're not gonna do it, it's that simple, Meyer! This isn't rocket science?!"
"But, we can't just… turn him away like that, if he wants death, give him death, he has his reasoning and beliefs and it's our job to respect that…."
"Well, then you're on your own with this one doc…."
"Ahhhh, can't go back in there, I'd probably piss my pants! Ahh, what do I do what do I do? Ahhhhh they don't teach you these things in schoollllllllllll."
"I can here him from outside, gosh he really has quite the indoor voice." Atom complained.
He got up and strolled to the entryway, opening it and looking out to see the doctor about to go into an extreme panic.
"Ummmm, doctor, are you OK?" Atom asked the doctor.
"Atom! Ah, I'm gonna have a heart attack soon, just watch!" He replied
"Y-you sure you wanna do this because ummmmm, I'm not sure…."
Atom sighed and turned around.
"I'm as sure as you were when you told me 'my body just needed to adjust to it'" Atom slammed the door in annoyance.
"Guess we just need to give the kid what he wants…."
Atom sat back down in his chair.
"And now we wait." he folded his arms.
"Atom. This is a terrible idea." Tenma looked over at Atom.
"Well, there's nothing I can do at this poi–"
Meyer had walked in suddenly with a few people standing behind him.
"Well…. I uh, I tried my best to tell them no but they insisted! tough cookies if I do say so my uh, selfie, I mean self!" He seemed to be stumbling on his words again.
"So they're uh, here to take you now…." for once his voice wasn't nervous but somewhat saddened to tell Atom the news.
Atom was about to get up from his seat but something held him back.
Tenma kept Atom down on his seat with a hand on his shoulder as he stood up.
"You are not taking Atom. He is my son and he isn't going anywhere without my authorization."
"Well well ummmmm, you can talk it out with these guys, I need to uh, go grab a few charts…." Meyer yet again stormed out of the room.
"I'M NOT LOSING MY JOB TODAY!"
Atom tried standing up again.
The people that remained after the doctor left let out a sigh.
"Is he coming or not? We don't get paid enough in this shitty place to wait for slowpokes."
"No. Of course, he isn't coming. Atom is a minor. He may be a robot, but he is still a child. Not only are you forbidden from touching him, it's illegal to do this."
"Fine by us, not like any of us care to begin with." the two of them left the room.
Steam might as well had been shooting from Tenma's ears. He turned his upper body to look back at Atom.
Atom sighed.
"Life must really hate me, hmmm?"
"You are not allowed, under any circumstances, to set foot in this god-forsaken hospital ever again!" Tenma lashed out at Atom, pointing his finger sternly at him.
Atom took a step back in shock at the raising of Tenma's voice.
"You said you wouldn't yell."
Tenma took a sharp inhale of air through his nose.
"I'm sorry."
"It's fine, being under all this crap I probably won't remember any of this anyways…."
"I'm also taking you off of that medicine."
"No no, it's not that- otherwise i'd be passed out right now, gosh whatever they gave me to shut me up is really messing with my head now…" Atom cringed from the headache he now had.
"I'm still taking you off of it."
"I know I know, crapppp! God this really hurts!"
"Let's get out of here." Tenma grabbed Atom by the arm and pulled him out of the room.
"Buh bye!" Atom waved goodbye to the doctor.
"Wait! Where you going?! Aren't you going to get shut down? Or at least let us discuss your bill?!"
Tenma stopped for a moment and looked at the doctor with a menacing glare.
"I'd sue you and this entire establishment, but I'd rather not get an earful from your boss. So take this as a courtesy."
"Oh yeah, speaking of the boss, where is he? Hmm, better go check!" Meyer, again, stormed away from Tenma out of fear.
Tenma continued down the hall and out of the hospital.
Atom suddenly let out a few tears and rubbed his eye.
The two didn't stop walking until they got to the car.
Atom was the first to get in the car, he sat in the back seat and didn't even sit down, he lied down on his side and took up a good chunk of the three seats that were behind the driver and passenger seat.
Tenma sat behind the wheel and turned the car on.
Atom at first refused to speak but decided against it when he sniffled and let out an "I'm sorry." before staring at the ground and hoping the medicine would wear off soon.
After driving a while, nothing for Atom seemed to be picking up well.
"Ouch!" He blurted out in a sudden cry of pain.
Tenma jolted the car a little out of shock.
"Are you alright?"
"No, not really, I don't think my heads ever hurt this bad. Ouch!" Atom curled up into a ball and cringed again.
Tenma sighed.
"You think you know what they put in sedatives for crazy aholes like me?"
"...No..."
"Well, that's just great….."
Soon they arrived back home.
Atom just waited out in the car for Tenma to come to get him since he was lazy and now the pain in his head really made its appearance.
Tenma got out of the car and opened up the back door
"Ugh." Atom struggled to get up before finally being able to sit up and exit the car.
The two of them finally walked inside the house to hear music playing semi-loud.
"Aw seriously Citizen, you come at the worst time?!" Astro complained, pausing the music that was playing from his phone.
"Oh, so he's back! Waz up D.T? It's MC Bri!" Brianna strolled from the hallway to where Tenma was and welcomed him. ((D.T. is short for Dr. Tenma, ka'y? k. ~Emily))
Astro bursted out laughing.
Tenma didn't look amused.
"Wha, come on D.T., have a sense of humor! What are you, a living piece of stone?!" Brianna complained.
"Yeah brah you look so drained, maybe you need this rootbeer more than me…." Astro added before taking a swig of his root beer.
Atom had already left and went to the living room where he sat down on the couch.
Cindy walked in from the hallway and saw Tenma looked like he was about go on a huge rage of some sort.
"Oh boy…" she whispered to herself and slowly made her way over to Tenma.
He furrowed his eyebrows and was about to yell something when Cindy covered his mouth with her hand. He looked at her with an extreme anger even she hadn't seen before.
"No no no, let him speak his mind, it's a free country Cindy." Astro intervened.
"Stay out of your father's business, Astro." Cindy said as she tried leading Tenma to the kitchen.
"No no he's just angry I threw a party without him, it's all good, right Bri?" Astro looked at Brianna.
"This isn't…. the time… Astro." Cindy struggled to keep her grip on Tenma, afraid he might just end up picking her up and pushing her away.
"Pffft looks like Mrs. C. is having a hard timey time, hahaha, timey time, Pookie i'm making it an official word as of now, OK? OK." Brianna said.
"Gah! Why must you be so stubborn!?"
Cindy removed her hand from Tenma's mouth.
"CINDY WHAT IN GOD'S NA–"
She quickly pulled his head down and pressed her lips firmly against his in an attempt to shut him up.
"Ok, now that's just fucking gross." Astro had a look of disgust on his face.
Brianna bursted out laughing.
Cindy moved her head back.
Tenma just stared at her in shock.
"OK OK, let's all take a moment, process this, and uhhhh, some other shit I forgot and uh, yeah, Bri you got anything."
"If you turn the letter T sideways you can-"
"Woah Woah woah Brianna, hahaha, we don't talk about that here, haha, save that for health class, k'ay?" Astro quickly cut her off.
Cindy rolled her eyes.
"Will you please just come into the kitchen with me?….."
"...Fine…" Tenma followed Cindy to the kitchen.
"Pffft, I hate it when adults try to show up to the youngsters, sick sick middle-aged adults….." Astro shook his head.
"Well when you think about it, they've been here longer than we have, so they must have more experience, I guess." Brianna shrugged.
"Oh yeah, my sonofabitch twin came back! YO ATOM WHAT'S UP BRAH?!" Astro called out to Atom.
Atom didn't respond.
"IF YOU DON'T SAY SOMETHING BACK I'M TELLING CITIZEN YOU'RE DEAD!"
Atom sighed.
"WHAT WAS THAT, I CAN'T HEAR YOU?! CITIZEN, I THINK ATOM'S DEAD!" Astro yelled with a dead-on tattle-tale voice.
All the three of them heard was some muffled yelling from the kitchen. After a few moments, it calmed down.
Astro sighed and just walked into the kitchen with his root beer where he smashed it hard against the sink to grab both of his parent's attention.
"I think Atom is fucking dead, you should check that shit out." He said before then just walking away, leaving his mess behind.
Tenma and Cindy had been in the middle of a hug when Astro walked in and interrupted. Now they just stood staring at each other with confused looks on their faces.
Tenma stuck his head out of the door and looked at Atom.
"Atom?"
Atom didn't respond, he wasn't even on the couch, but on the floor crying again for no real reason.
"Atom, are you alright?"
Atom sighed and wiped his face.
Tenma walked up to him.
Atom sniffled with a slight look of insecurity written all over his face.
"Atom. Can you follow me, please?" Tenma leaned down a little to try and get a look of Atom's face.
Atom looked up at Tenma and nodded, slowly getting up from the floor.
He followed Tenma into the kitchen.
Atom could hear the faint sounds of Astro and Brianna purposely speaking in loud voices about him in a funny yet mocking manner.
Tenma pulled a chair out for Atom. He walked over and sat down, looking at the table.
Astro walked in, strolling in a funny way, you could tell he was about to say something stupid as a joke.
Tenma held his hand up. "Don't even try."
"What? I wanna join this little club meeting you've established here, do I get like a discount if I refer a friend? BRIANNA COME OVER HERE. I GET A DISCOUNT IF YOU COME TO THIS RANDOM CLUB MEETING!"
"No, Astro. This is between us and Atom. Just go back to the other room." Tenma sat in the chair next to Cindy.
Brianna walked in.
"wHAT WAS THAT POOKIE FACE? ALL I HEARD WAS 'BRIANNA' 'COME' AND 'DISCOUNT'?!" She yelled.
Tenma stood up from his seat, pushing it back behind him, and slammed both of his palms on the table.
Brianna and Astro looked over at him.
"You two. Go back in the living room. Me and Cindy are having a very important conversation with Atom."
"Oh, like a club meeting?" Brianna asked.
"That's what I was thinking!" Astro added.
"No. This is not a club. If you two want one-on-one conversations with us two, we can arrange that, but for now, please go in the other room. My patience is wearing very thin, so I suggest you get your asses moving."
"Haha, 'we can arrange that' well I'll have you know i've arranged a lot of things with that sonofabi-"
"You know what Brianna, how about we go and just uhhhhh, not talk about what we do right now…" Astro walked up to Brianna and started pushing her away.
"Pfft, like they don't know already anyways, they're not stupid….." Brianna laughed.
"Well can you not remind them?"
"Bah! You're no fun." Brianna folded her arms.
Atom sighed and put his head down, finding sudden comfort in having his head lying on top of his arms.
Tenma watched as Astro and Brianna walked through the door, then sat back down in his seat.
Atom let out what started out as a sigh and ended somehow with a yawn.
Tenma rested his head on his hand and sighed.
Cindy looked up at him and took a hold of his free hand.
He looked over at her as she tried to give him a smile.
Atom looked up for a moment and let out a chuckle. ((It was more of a 'aww das cute, 10/10 adorbs' chuckle lol ~Emily))
Cindy and Tenma glanced over at him.
Atom quickly put his head back down, not wanting them to see the look on his face.
Cindy leaned her head over and rested it on Tenma's shoulder, as if saying "What are we gonna do about this poor kid?"
Atom tried to cover up the fact that his heart almost melted by saying "Weren't you gonna talk to me about something?"
"Yes. Yes, we were…." Tenma looked back at Atom.
Atom tried not to slip out a "Well you know you don't have to, this is fine." (In reference to the fact Atom most likely ships Tenma and Cindy more than he should.)((HE DOESN'T SHIP IT ENOUGHHHH (honestly I am the #1 Tencla shipper. Fuck all u bitches.)~ Kait))
Atom gradually swung his feet forward and backward as he turned away, waiting for either of the adults to speak.
"I'M A SALTY LITTLE SHIT!" Astro shouted from the living room.
Brianna started laughing.
"OK OK, I got one…. ummmmmmm….. I'M A DUMBASS LITTLE SHIT!" she then yelled.
Tenma looked around to see what all the ruckus was about.
"Nah nah nah, you gotta go bigger Bri, I'M A DUMBASS SALTY MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!"
"Nah nah, watchu talkin' 'bout bitch, that was nothing!"
"No no, that was the bomb OK bitch? It was 10/10 perfection."
"Haha, you wish!"
"Pffft, asshole."
"Excuseeeeee me?! May I remind you my looks are quite deceiving, I have no problem with-"
"Whooping my ass to a giant pulp?"
"Exactly!"
Cindy quietly got up from the table and swiftly walked away to the living room where Astro and Brianna continued to playfully argue and yell while cracking a few jokes.
Tenma and Atom exchanges looks before hearing Cindy yelling loudly at Astro and Brianna.
Atom immediately had an urge to get up and leave but instead put his head down in sudden disinterest.
Cindy soon came back and sat back down in the same chair she once stood up from, appearing as if no damage had been done and time somehow reversed itself to leave no trace or effect.
Atom slowly brought his head back up again.
"So you were saying?" he asked.
"It's OK if you're upset or if you just want me to leave, I can always find somewhere else to go…." Atom added before Tenma or Cindy could say anything.
"No, Atom. We aren't upset. We're concerned." Tenma looked over at Atom.
Atom sighed.
"Well, that's new…" Atom spoke with sarcasm before putting his head back down.
Tenma sighed.
"What's going on Atom? Why would you want to do such a thing to yourself?" Cindy reached over and rested her hand on Atom's arm.
"I think the real question is why wouldn't I do it?" Atom replied.
He lifted his head up.
"I'm tired, can we talk about this another time? Say errr, a few years from now?" Atom asked.
Tenma shook his head.
"We're talking about this now."
Atom sighed.
"You can't tell them anything, they won't believe you, and you don't have the guts to say it anyways, what are you gonna do? Cry about it for a few more hours on end? You're hearts too fucking big for your damn body so there's no point in trying to reason. Just leave and go cry in the corner or something, I dunno, you're just not ready for this." Atom thought.
"I dunno!" Atom blurted out.
Tenma and Cindy looked both surprised and confused.
Atom's eyes slowly started to water.
"There you go again."
Cindy got up from her seat, walked over to Atom, and put her arms around him. He started to sob on her shoulder as she gently rubbed his back.
She looked up at Tenma with a pained look in her face. He sighed and looked down.
"I'm not a crybaby!" Came a reasoning from Atom, no one could really know what it was exactly that was floating around in Atom's mind, but it sure wasn't pleasant.
"Atom? You-" Cindy tried to say but was but off.
"No, y-you know I can't!"
"Exactly. That's why you get up and leave, no one wants a crybaby around, you said it yourself! Just admit defeat and you're lack of trust and get the hell out!"
"Don't yell at me!"
Cindy hugged him tighter and tried her best not to start crying herself.
Atom's splitting headache made it's return, causing him to just break off the hug and sit back down in his chair.
Cindy looked down at him with glassy eyes and after sighing, left the room.
"Ow!" Atom muttered in pain.
"Atom?"
"Ah not now, I have a headache." Atom quickly replied.
Tenma got up and left the room to go find Cindy.
"Great, you're making progress, glad to hear!"
"You know you were a lot nicer yesterday!" Atom folded his arms.
He sighed.
"But he does have a point." Atom stood up.
Soon Tenma and Cindy walked back out into the hallway.
"You have trust issues." Atom began.
"Well everyone does, not a first for most people. But, maybe you don't trust someone but you can't just- toss them away or avoid them, I mean who knows."
"You can't….. win most battles but you can put up quite a fight, most of the time."
"And, you may not have the answers to everything, but it's important you say the ones you do." Atom sat back down.
"But- but it's hard you know, you shouldn't say no but you can't say yes either because then your emotions get in the way and you start crying like a baby 'cause it's not like you can say 'hey go take a vacation, I don't want you here anymore!' You just can't! You can only sit there and cry." Atom slowly started sobbing again.
"And, you wanna tell them, yo-you wanna say it all but your lack of trust and stupid emotions get in the way and nothing get's done, nothing! You can't get help if you keep turning it down!"
"You can only say 'I'm sorry' and let the rest fall in place!"
Tenma and Cindy walked back in.
Atom didn't even notice them, his head was down, considering he was sitting backwards in his chair, his head was rested on the top of the back of the chair, covered only by one of his arms as he sniffled.
"Atom?"
Atom slowly lifted his head up to see who it was.
"Yes?" He asked, sniffling once again.
"We heard what you were saying."
"Oh, god." Atom put his head back down.
"But we understand." Tenma smiled.
"We're here to help you through this." Cindy walked up to Atom and gently placed her hand on his shoulder.
Atom sighed and nodded his head.
"I know." he muttered.
Atom lifted his head up.
"I'm sorry."
"It's ok."
Atom let out a faint smile.
Later on getting closer to dinner, Astro and Brianna walked into the kitchen.
"SO CITIZEN? WHATCHA' MAKING FOR DINNER?!" Astro obnoxiously asked in a loud voice.
"YEAH D.T. WHAT'S COOKING?!" Brianna added.
Tenma sighed.
"I'm making soup, chicken soup."
"EW DATS NASTY! YOU'RE GROSS!" Astro replied.
"Yeah yeah, you gotta go big man! How about you make ummmmm, fried chicken cupcakes! OM,G that doesn't sound half bad!" Brianna exclaimed.
"Um, no, don't listen to her OK, chicken is fucking garbage, you should make some tacos."
"Oooo yeah, tacos are nice."
Atom walked into the kitchen.
"Oh look the little crazy shit decided to show up, what are you gonna whine about this time, the walls aren't painted green?" Astro, again, spoke in a rude, obnoxious tone, clearly indicating he was being mean and downright rude to Atom.
Brianna snickered.
"N-no." Atom said as he opened the fridge.
Astro closed it.
"There's nothing in there, you know that right?" Astro asked.
Atom sighed and just walked away, leaving Astro to just laugh along with Brianna.
"Pfft, he's an easy target, shouldn't be that hard to break him." Astro added.
Astro looked behind him.
"Right, Citizen?"
"Don't be rude to your brother."
"Pft, parents thinking they know it all, pffft pffft PFFFTT, I mean honestly, what's wrong with trying to get a laugh out of the day?!"
Atom walked back into the kitchen and tried opening the fridge again.
"Ugh, Atom there's nothing in there! Do I really gotta say it twice?" Astro sighed and pushed Atom away.
Brianna left to go use the bathroom while Atom just gave up and left again.
((END OF PART ONE!))