CHAPTER TEN
A/N: Thanks for your lovely reviews. T/W: Nightmare mention.
"I love you, sweetheart."
"I love you too, Dad. I wish you could come to Disney with us."
"I can't this time, darling. I-er, I can't get the time off."
"I'd rather you were taking me."
Naomi's voice shattered the moment.
"Kerry, come on now! You'll see your dad again in four weeks and you're going to have a lovely time."
Ben held Kerry close and kissed her.
"Ugh!" Gabriel didn't even bother to keep his voice low, "Doesn't it make you feel sick to see that?"
"He's gay, Gabriel, not a paedophile!" Naomi protested.
"Don't bother, Naomi" Ben's voice was harsh, "People like him don't want to learn the facts."
He hissed under his breath:
"Don't spoil this for Kerry. Do you really want her to go on this holiday with our slanging match ringing in her ears?"
Naomi pulled herself together and kissed Ben formally on the cheek. Then she turned on her heel, led Kerry away to where Gabriel was standing tapping his foot, and the three of them disappeared into the crowd.
Ben wanted to get drunk, to get right 'off his face'. Knowing that his night shift would begin shortly after his train pulled into Holby Station made him opt for a double expresso instead.
"Did she get off all right?" Dom asked quietly.
"She did. And that b*st*rd Gabriel had to put the knife in when I kissed her goodbye."
"Sorry, mate. Well, better get on with the shift, then."
Dom wanted to hug Ben, to tell him he could feel his pain, but knew that the best thing for the young nurse was to throw himself into work. He made up his mind to spoil Ben a little when they got back to his place the next day.
Ben awoke, tired, his heart raw with pain over Kerry, but glad of Dom's presence beside him.
"No dreams this time?"
The question was full of concern.
"None. Just solid sleep."
"Good. Now you chill out and I'll get breakfast. Granola and toast?"
"That'd be so good."
"You eat some bl**dy weird things, Chiltern."
Ben's smile was still tired, but had a hint of impishness about it:
"Yeah, but you've still bought me the Granola, haven't you?"
"Don't look so smug. Next time I'm at yours, you're going to cook me the most unhealthy Full English ever."
"I'll bring a mask home from the ED, then, so I don't have to smell that rubbish."
The day went well, despite a tremor of pain that ran through Ben when he and Dom walked through the park on their way back to Ben's flat, and passed the animal area. Dom noticed the pain flit across Ben's face, and he suddenly steered him to a bench.
"Know what you need?"
"Tell me."
"You need a short break yourself. You'd only need to book the Friday off. We could go on the net, find some cheap rail tickets and check out Travelodge prices. Then it could be you and me in London next weekend. We could get a couple of seats for a musical, and just chill. What do you think?"
Ben looked wistful.
"And – sorry to rub this in – but if Kerry's away for the whole month you won't need to put any cash aside to treat her. Come on, you need it, I need it-"
He expected Ben to sigh and politely refuse. Ben smiled slowly.
"I think it's just what I need to stop me going crazy. Let's do it!"
The first day was exceptionally good. They'd even managed to get first class tickets for the outward journey and enjoyed the luxury. In the afternoon they'd walked to the West End from their hotel in the City area, and managed to get cheap tickets for "The Book of Mormon".
Later, in Dom's arms, Ben had enjoyed another dream-free night.
On the Saturday they'd walked back to the West End in the evening, this time for a visit to the cinema. The film was a spectacular, incredible adventure story with special effects that made them both nod in approval and a script that made them look at each other and wince.
"My head's spinning from all that technology cr*p. That Travelodge bed's calling my name."
"I think I need fresh air before we go back, Dom."
"Good idea. We'll have a good walk, shall we, and then grab a Pizza before we go back into the hotel?"
"I'll buy the Pizzas-"
"-You'll shut your mouth. Come on, then. And don't order one with pineapple on it because, to me, that is a perversion of nature."
"Something else I've learned about you tonight, eh?"
It was as they were walking past the Old Bailey that Ben's colour drained from his face and he clutched Dom's arm.
"Ben? You okay?"
"I felt it for a moment, Dom. Laurent was in that building, standing trial."
"Did you hear the sentence?"
Ben shook his head.
"I was standing where Laurent would have stood. C-can you just give me a minute? I need to catch my breath."
Dom put his arm round Ben, and steered him along. The colour began to return to Ben's face as they neared the Travelodge.
"Come on, Ben. A strong drink in the bar, then a good sleep."
Ben's eyes were wide.
"Not sleep… I don't want to dream…"
Dom took Ben by the shoulders.
"Okay… the hotel's got free Wifi. I've brought the tablet. We need to find out what happened to him, Ben, one way or the other. Yes?"
Ben shuddered but nodded.
"One way or another."
What Dom found surprised them both.
Afterwards, he lay in Ben's arms, feeling his even breathing. It seemed that there were to be no dreams for Ben that night either. But how long could this go on? How long could Dom stand these tense moments, wondering whether Ben was going to cry out in his sleep? He didn't want to lose the nurse; he knew he cared deeply for Ben. But these revelations from the past were becoming unnerving. It would either be a case of putting up with the tension every night, or leaving Ben and breaking both their hearts.