The Trouble With Love
Chapter Ten
It was like a whirlwind of happy emotions. I simply couldn't believe it. I couldn't help, but keep looking down at my left hand and the ring that looked beautifully on my ring finger. The ring definitely stood out, as main stone was a square cut yellow diamond and the band was made of beautifully glittering white diamonds. As perfect as the ring was to me it wasn't the most important thing. The man I loved asked me to spend the rest of our lives together and that to me was the most important thing of all. I couldn't believe it.
Nick and I changed from out wet clothes and I redid my make-up before we went down to the barbeque. Nick's mom was nice enough to get me veggie burgers to eat. It didn't take long before there were so many people. The families of his sister's had arrived as well as uncles, aunts, cousins. It was a little overwhelming, but I didn't care because I was just so happy. I was attacked with words of congratulations and well wishes from everyone.
"I am so excited. You'll be one of our sisters." Aileen said happily.
"I'm still in shock." I admitted to her as I took a sip of my glass of rose wine.
"It was so hard to keep secret." Aileen said. "Aww look at him." Aileen then said nodding over to Nick who was playing with the little kids. He held a small toddler aged girl in his arms. I watched him play. I couldn't help, but smile. I knew he would make a great dad just by the way he was with them. I thought about our future and the possibility of having kids. Having his baby to me would be an honor.
"Oh no one of my kids is crying." Aileen then said jumping up from her chair and walking over to a small girl who was crying. I glanced over at Nick and then back down at my ring.
"It's a beautiful ring." Came a voice that I noticed to be the voice of Nick's dad Bill. He sat down in the chair that Aileen had occupied previously. "I know he loves you more than anything. The way he would talk about you on the phone and the way he looks at you. Just take care of him. He is going through some things right now with his friend's death. He avoids talking about it. I've tried. He needs you to keep him afloat."
"I've been giving him time. I can only hope I can help him manage his pain." I said to him.
"I think you'll do a great job at it. He looks to you for strength." Bill said. I looked over at him and saw he was watching Nick.
When the party was over I helped Jill clean up. I walked out onto the back porch to find Nick sitting alone starring out at the lake. He looked up to see me and he gave me a smile. I simply smiled in return and walked to him. When I made it to him he pulled me down onto his lap. I looked at him before giving him a soft kiss. I was happy with how our trip went. We would be heading back to Vegas in the morning. I knew it would be hard for him to return to work because things were going to be so different for him without Warrick there. I could only hope that he would be able to manage. I looked down at my ring.
"You know Warrick helped me pick it." Nick said to me. I turned my head and looked at him.
"Really?" I asked softly.
"Yeah he went with me to about 3 different jewelry shops before I found the perfect ring. He was so excited for us. I remember him telling me he had is Best Man's suit all picked out." Nick said with a small chuckle. "He was happy for us. He said it was hard, but he knew that I loved you and that I would take care of you. I was supposed to propose at Lake Mead that weekend. We were supposed to get away together and I was going to ask you then, but then…" his voice trailed off. I saw a single tear fall from his eye. I took my finger and wiped his tear away.
"The two of you did a great job picking it up." I said softly to him. I pressed my lips to his and wrapped my arms around his neck. I was really going to marry him. I broke the kiss and looked in his eyes. "I saw you playing with the kids today. You'd make a great dad."
He grinned up at me. I could tell he liked the idea of having kids. "I can't wait to get you pregnant. I want at least 5." He said to me.
"Five?" I questioned amazed.
"I was thinking more two or three." I said to him. "I've been pregnant before and it isn't a walk in the park. We'll find our perfect balance."
"I was thinking…" he started.
"Hmm." I answered to his query.
"You should stop taking your birth control." He then said. I looked at him a little taken aback. I was surprised he wanted to try so fast. I was expected we'd wait until after the wedding, whenever that was going to be.
"What about the wedding?" I asked him. "You know we have to do a big something or your family would never forgive us."
"I know… Maybe in the fall. The fall would be a nice time. I was thinking we could do it down here. I'd love to marry in the church that my parents married in." he said. I looked at him and smiled because that was a beautiful idea.
"I like it. I still have to call my grandma and tell her about everything." I said to him. I thought about how happy and excited my grandma would be at the idea of us getting married.
"Well she knows I was going to ask. I asked for her permission." Nick said to me. I couldn't believe it.
"Really?" I questioned.
"Yeah when she was in Vegas. One morning you were in the shower and I asked her." He explained to me. "So she knows it was coming."
"You're amazing." I said to him.
"I try." He answered. "Now are you going to throw out your birth control?" he asked me. "I've got 3 years until I'm 40. I want to get working on this." He was really serious about trying for a baby. I smiled down at him and kissed him.
"I guess I will." I whispered against his lips.
"Mmm I can't wait to start trying." He said against my lips. I was going to be his wife and quite possibly soon the mother of his child. Life had taken a turn and I loved every second of this new direction.
It was actually hard for me to say goodbye to Nick's family. It has been a fantastic couple days and I really enjoyed being around them, but we both had jobs and a life in Vegas to get back to. I awoke and stepped from my bed. I dragged myself into my bathroom and looked in the mirror. I went to move my hair into a ponytail and the light caught my ring. I smiled looking at the reflection of my ring in the mirror. I then went to reach into my toiletries bag from our trip that I hadn't unpacked. I then realized when I reached into the bag that there was no use. I was going to take my birth control as I was used to doing every morning, but I then remembered I'd thrown them away.
Getting to my office I walked inside and I felt something extra in my step. I felt refreshed and ready to start this week off great. The air about me was happy and that was a far cry from last week when a cloud of sadness was over everything. In a strange way I felt guilty for not being as sad still, but I knew life had to go on. Losing my parents at 5 years old I had to learn that lesson early in life. I walked into the office I shared with Erica who was already sitting at her desk.
"Hey how was your trip?" she asked me.
"It was great. I love…MY FIANCE'S…family." I said putting a huge emphasis on fiancé.
"Fiance?" Erica questioned and then her face lit up. "No freaking way!" she screamed out as she jumped up from her desk and ran over to me. "Let me seeeeee." She sang out as she reached to see my ring. "It is beautiful."
"It was so romantic and perfect. His sister's even helped him plan the proposal." I said happily.
"Oh my god I am so excited for you!" Erica said happily giving me a hug.
"Thanks… Maid of Honor." I said to my best friend. During my nearly a year working here Erica and I had become the best of friends. I seriously told her everything and she the same with me. There was nobody else I could think of what would be perfect in the role of Maid of Honor.
"Ahhhhhh no way!" she said.
"Yes way. You are my best friend and I need you there." I said to her as I sat my purse down on my desk and sat at my computer.
"Where is it going to be?" she asked me.
"We decided to do it in Texas this fall. We are thinking early October." I said.
"That's only in 6 months. We've got to get planning and find you a dress." Erica said happily as she sat at her desk. She pulled out a notepad and started taking notes.
"And…" I said grinning. "We decided to start trying for a baby now. I've tossed my birth control. We are all in."
"Holy Crap and a baby!" Erica was squealing with delight.
"I know! There is just so much at one time, but I'm so happy." I said thinking of Nick and how he made me incredibly happy. I wouldn't change a thing with the two of us.
Work was slow and after my only showing for the day I decided to take Nick some food. I knew he was working and I knew he would appreciate it. I walked into the Crime Lab with a bag of food for him. At this point everyone knew me. I walked towards the breakroom hoping I would run into him at some point. I saw Grissom walking in a hurry with a blonde girl following him. I gave him a quick wave as I approached the break room. There was a woman with light brown hair standing around.
"Hello are you here for an appointment?" she asked me with a British accent.
"Umm no sorry. Just bringing my fiancé some food." I said with a shrug.
"Oh you don't work here." She then said to me.
"No, but my fiancé does. He's a CSI." I said. I then saw the pamphlets on the table and knew exactly who this woman was and why she was here. "You're the grief counselor?" I then questioned.
"Yes. I'm Patricia Alwick." She said to me extending her hand. I shook her hand.
"Cammie Jackson." I said.
"And who is your fiancé?" Patricia asked me.
"CSI Nick Stokes." I answered.
"I haven't met him yet I don't think." Patricia said.
"He'll be around here somewhere. I really hope he comes to talk to you. I think it will help." I said truthfully.
"He was close with Warrick Brown?" Patricia asked.
"Best friends. Warrick is the reason that Nick and I met. Warrick was my cousin." I said.
"Oh so you must be going through a lot as well?" she questioned.
"I don't know it's strange. I'm grieving, but it hasn't been too hard on me. He and I were really just getting to know one another. Before moving to Vegas I hadn't seen him since I was 12. We were getting closer, but yeah…" I trailed off. "I'm accustomed to loss and I guess having gone to grief counseling years ago I can deal with it because I know how."
"So you've been through grief counseling. I hope you don't mind me asking why?" she asked me.
"I lost my parents when I was 5. I was fine for the first few years, but then I started having behavioral issues and the school suggested to my grandma that maybe grief counseling would help and it did. I continued to see my counselor though high school." I explained to her.
"I'm sorry for your losses. You've sure been through it." Patricia said. I could hear the sympathy in her voice.
"Thanks. I'm living." I said with a weak smile. I then looked to see Nick coming up the hall. He was looking down at a piece of paper and when he looked up his eyes met mine and a huge smile came across his face. He came right to me and pulled me to him.
"Baby what are you doing here?" he asked pulling me closer by the waist.
"It's slow at my office and so I decided to bring you some food." I said sweetly to him as I held up a bag.
"Thanks so much." He said looking into the bag. "I'm starving to. We are obviously short around here and it's been a little crazy."
"I could imagine. Well I'm going to leave you with your food and let you work." I said to him before I placed a kiss on his lips.
"Alright I will see you as soon as I can." He said to me before giving me another kiss. He then let go of me and he noticed Patricia standing around the table.
"I love you and I will see you later." I said to him. "Bye Patricia it was nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you too." She said before I walked out.
I stood in the bathroom finishing my make-up. When finished I picked up the necklace I had sitting on the counter and put it on. I smiled at myself before walking into my bedroom and slipping on my dress. Nick walked into my room and gave me a smile. He looked so handsome in his dark blue button up shirt and black slacks. My dark blue dress went perfectly with his shirt. The only thing it seemed as if he couldn't wear a shirt without rolling up the sleeves.
"Babe I ironed your shirt and you already rolled your sleeves up." I complained as I stood looking at him.
"Sorry it's a habit." He said with a shrug. I just glared at him for a second. I figured at this point it was a lost cause because he'd already wrinkled his shirt with rolling his sleeves.
"Can you zip me?" I asked as I turned to him exposing my bare back in my dress that needed to be zipped. I felt his fingers trail down my back. I shivered at the feeling. I felt him then grab the zipper and zip it up slowly. His lips then came in contact with my neck. I let out a moan as he pulled me to him by my hips as he continued to kiss my neck.
"I can't wait to unzip you later." He whispered in my ear. I giggled and turned to face him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and looked up at him.
"So when I went to the lab I spoke with the grief counselor for a moment. Have you spoken with her?" I asked him.
"Why do I need to?" he then asked me sounding defensive.
"It might be a good idea to talk to someone about what you're feeling." I said to him.
"I don't need to talk to some stranger about what I'm feeling and I'm feeling fine." He said to me in a bit of a growl. He instantly let go of me. I could feel the energy in the room shift. I knew that he didn't like me bringing up the subject.
"I'm just saying it can help. I used to see a therapist and it can be helpful, but that's up to you. I'm just making a suggestion." I said to him.
"An unsolicited suggestion." He said coldly before he walked out of my bedroom. He's never spoken to me in such a cold tone before. The way his attitude shifted on me had never happened before. I let out a sigh before I slipped on my heels on and followed him from my room. He was on the couch looking at his phone. As I walked into the living room he looked up at me.
"We better go so we won't be late." I said to him.
"Not really in the mood to go now." He said plainly.
"Baby." I started as I walked over to him. "Everyone is waiting for us. They want to celebrate our engagement with us. We kind of have to go." I said.
"Yeah whatever. Let's go." He said now standing. He went to the door and opened the door. I hated how he seemed to make be feel so small in this moment. I was only making a suggestion hoping that it would help and how he was being so cold to me.
The entire ride to the restaurant we didn't speak a word to one another. I looked out of the window trying to hold in tears. A couple escaped and I quickly wiped them away. I didn't know who this man was, but he wasn't the Nick Stokes that I was in love with. I could only hope it would pass. Getting to the restaurant the valet opened the door for me and I stepped from the car. Nick handed the valet the keys and he came to me putting his hand on the small of my back as we walked into the restaurant. Right away I spotted Catherine and Greg with the blonde girl I saw with Grissom in the hall of the lab.
"Congratulations!" Catherine said happily as she pulled me into a hug.
"Thanks." I said forcing a smile on my face.
"I hope you guys don't mind. I invited Riley since she is new to the team and all." Greg said. I now knew the blonde girl was Riley.
"No problem." Nick said. "I need a drink."
"Me too." Greg said. "Riley?"
"Yes please." Riley then said. I watched as the three of them went off to the bar. Catherine stayed standing with me.
"Ok something is wrong." Catherine said to me.
"Yeah." I said with a sigh. "I don't know what happened. I was asking if he was going to see the grief counselor at the lab and he freaked on me. He's now barely said a word to me since. I struck some sort of nerve with him."
"It will pass and he'll get over it. He is too in love with you to keep it up." Catherine said giving me a reassuring smile. I could only hope that it would pass.
Dinner was nice. I enjoyed spending time with everyone and getting to know Riley who seemed pretty cool. Nick was still distant, but it seemed for most of dinner he at least pretended. We pulled up to my condo and he parked his truck. He then turned to me. I'd noticed he kept the truck engine running.
"Aren't you coming up?" I asked him.
"No I'm going to head home." He said straight away.
"Babe." I said. I knew he still wasn't past my suggestion.
"I'm tired and I just want to go home and sleep." He said sounding irritated with me.
I felt my tears welling up in my eyes. I hated the way he was being towards me. I was so sad and a little angry. I looked at him and he just looked at me with a straight face.
"Whatever." I said as I took off my seatbelt and opened the door. I got out and slammed the door behind me.
I wasn't going to look back at him He'd pissed me off just by being so cold and distant from me when I was only trying to help. I walked into my condo and went straight in my room. I changed out of my dress and put my nightgown on. The moment I got into bed I was crying. I held onto my pillow and cried into it. This isn't what I wanted with him and this surly wasn't our relationship. He'd totally shut me out.