Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Minds. Hannah is my character.

Author's Note: Fifth chapter in a weekend. You're welcome. Thanks for still reading, and thank you for the reviews.

Chapter 9

Derailed

Spencer woke up with a dry mouth. He forgot last night that Hannah added extra rum into her margaritas for kick, and maybe to torture him as an added bonus. He rolled out of bed and stumbled into the shower. Fifteen minutes later, after sprays of both hot and cold water, he felt ready for the day, though he still felt a bit hazy and unfocused as he dressed. Given his weight and metabolism, he never learned how to handle a hangover well, even though he understood the science behind it. His wardrobe did not interest him, but after he stared at his closet for a few minutes, he choose. As he reached for the bedroom door, Spencer grinned and slipped into ninja stealth mode.

Hannah stood at the stove. She stirred meat on the skillet when Spencer snuck up behind her. For a few seconds he just watched her. When he saw how comfortable she looked, he leaned in closer and whispered with his best scary movie voice two inches from her ear.

"Deadly margaritas!"

Hannah jumped and a girlish scream erupted from of her throat. She spun around, the wooden spoon in her hand like a weapon, but Spencer caught her wrist and laughed. After she cursed him under her breath, she laughed too.

"Jerk, you scared the hell out of me!" Hannah gave him a light punch on the arm.

"Consider it payback for getting me drunk last night."

"You love my margaritas." Hannah said before she gave him a quick kiss, then turned around and got right back to work on breakfast.

Spencer moved in beside her, leaned over the stove top, and inhaled.

"This smells awesome."

"Thank you. Get away. It's not ready yet." Hannah elbowed him away from the food. "Now go set the breakfast table."

"Yes chef." Spencer saluted her and received a stink eye and half a smile in return.

"I thought we could be spontaneous tonight if you're in town. Have crazy fun and wonder how it happened."

Spencer's face almost split from the grin.

"Sweet."

The night started out fun, but that didn't last after Spencer shared his exploits in Texas as he and Hannah walked home. She reacted the opposite of what he expected. In all the previous months that he shared his work with her, Hannah never reacted with such anger, outside of the rape cases. When she exploded, Hannah pushed him and Spencer fell back against an old sedan. He expected a car alarm, but one glance at the model revealed the pre-alarm age.

"That's funny? You almost died but don't worry cause I used a magic trick against a guy with a gun? Are you kidding me?" Hannah said in one breath. "You could have been killed, Spencer. That's not funny!"

Spencer grabbed her arm as she walked away but Hannah pulled away.

"Hannah!"

"I do not want to talk to you tonight! Go to bed. I'll be in the guest room in the morning."

"Hannah, stop!"

"No! I'm sick of your job and your life and you are never home!"

"What are you talking about? I've been home for months, Hannah!"

"And then you go to Texas for a few hours and almost get shot by a mental patient." Hannah felt the tears but pushed them back. "That was stupid, Spencer!"

"I had the situation under control!"

"Whatever. You say that now."

"You're drunk Hannah. I'm not arguing about this now. Not when you're drunk. It's pointless." Spencer waited for her reply but instead Hannah stormed off down the street, and not in the direction of home. "Hannah? Where are you going?"

"The bar! And then I might call Jenna and crash at her place. Don't expect me to come home tonight!"

Instead of fighting her, Spencer turned and walked away, hands in his pockets, head down. He didn't look back until he reached the end of the block. Hannah stood at the opposite end of the block, cell phone in her hands. She didn't look back, and after he waited another few seconds, Spencer vanished around the corner.

Hannah almost dropped her phone in the middle of the text and messed up the message: So mad at him now going to Martin's haven for more drinks meet me please!

She hit send and dropped the phone in her pocket as she crossed the street. A few miles away, Aaron grabbed his cell phone as it vibrated on his night stand. As he read the message in the phone's glow, he translated the haven to tavern and wondered what happened between Hannah and Spencer as he fell back to sleep next to his wife.

The next morning Aaron parked in front of Jenna's house. Jenna saw him pull up and opened the door in the middle of his knock. She crossed her arms, and glared at him, her head cocked in her signature disappointed stance. As Hannah's best friend, Jenna knew all the details Spencer didn't, or they suspected he didn't know. Aaron received a lot of glares from her over the years, so this glare didn't frighten him, but he grew nervous as she continued to stand there.

"Good morning Jenna." Aaron said, "Can I talk to her?"

Jenna stepped back and gestured him inside.

"She's in the guest bedroom." Jenna said, then grabbed his arm as he headed that way. "You're not going in there! Wait in the kitchen with the boys while I toss her hungover ass in the shower."

Aaron still tried to follow her but when Jenna cast a dirty look over her shoulder, he obeyed and turned into the kitchen. Marcus and Danny, her husband and her son, looked up at him when he entered. While Danny slid the large platter of sausage and pancakes over for him, Marcus grinned, crossed his arms and leaned back against the fridge. Danny looked at his father, received permission in the form of a nod, then left the kitchen.

"Man, is Jenna mad at you."

"I'm used to that, but is Hannah mad at me?"

"She was mostly cursing Spencer when Jenna brought her home last night, but I think I heard her drop your name too. What did you do?"

"I didn't join her at the bar after she fought with Reid. She did text me after midnight when I was already in bed."

"Asleep or not asleep?"

"It didn't seem wise to leave. If Haley woke up and I was gone I didn't want to lie to her about where I went and I didn't want to tell her that I left to see Hannah at the bar."

"You're kinda screwed either way you think about it."

"That's obvious, given my current situation with Hannah."

Marcus didn't reply, but instead pulled out a plate, knife and fork for Aaron.

Aaron ate a pancake, no syrup, and a few sausages before Jenna walked in, a wet and hungover Hannah behind her in one of Jenna's bathrobes.

"You two can go talk in the study. Where there isn't a bed or a couch." Jenna said under her breath to Aaron as she cleared away his empty plate.

With one quick look at Aaron, Hannah turned and walked back down the hall. Aaron followed. When she veered toward the guest bedroom, he grabbed hold of her wrist. He led her into the study at the end of the hall and closed the door behind them.

"I don't want to talk in here." Hannah said.

"Well I don't want to talk in the bedroom."

Aaron looked everywhere but at her and put some distance between them.

"Don't want to or don't feel comfortable?"

"You know that answer." Aaron said as he turned around.

"I'm not going to toss you down on the bed Aaron." Hannah looked at him, a small grin on her face as she said, "Or would you toss me down?"

The startled swallow and head jerk when Aaron looked up and into her eyes answered Hannah's question. With one hand she reached down, put her thumb inside the knot that held her bathrobe together, and pulled. Aaron's eyes widened and he crossed the room in two steps, just as the knot came loose. Hannah pulled the robe open with her free hand but Aaron stopped her. He closed the robe and didn't look down at her naked body even once. The whole time he kept his eyes on hers.

"Damn it Hannah. Don't. We agreed. Do not violate your own rule."

Aaron turned away to give her some privacy. When she didn't fix the robe and Aaron didn't turn back, Hannah sighed and pulled the robe tighter around her body. Then Aaron turned back.

"Is that why you didn't show up last night? Because you thought this would happen?" Hannah said as she gestured her tied bathrobe.

"Hannah, I didn't show up at the bar because I was asleep next to my wife. I made it clear in your office that I chose my wife."

"I know what decision you made. Need I remind you what happened the next time you came by my office? The make-out session you tried to start in the middle of my nursing your neck?"

"That was hardly an attempt at a make-out session. But it was a moment of weakness and I'm sorry it happened. I already apologized for it, and I went home to my wife."

"You went home because Spencer showed up! If he hadn't, what would you have done?"

"Nothing, Hannah! That was the last time anything like that happened between us and I don't need you reminding me of how I almost betrayed Haley."

"Haley had nothing to do with last night, Aaron! Last night, I just needed a friend."

"And I knew you would call Jenna when I didn't answer. I didn't think it was appropriate for me to text you back in the middle of the night after our last discussion in your office."

"That sounds like a great excuse but I don't buy it. Haley knows we're good friends and that wasn't the first time we text well after midnight. I needed a friend and Jenna was not the friend I needed. I needed you because I needed to talk to you about what Spencer did in Texas!"

"What about Texas?"

"I got upset at him for how he spoke about it. Spencer almost got shot and he's proud of himself for using a magic trick and talking the guy down. When I heard him talk like that...I already had a few drinks in me and I lost it. I started yelling at him and just left him to walk home alone while I went to the bar. In hindsight, I know I overreacted, but I don't think Spencer has realized the gravity of what happened on that train. It just bothers me when he talks like that."

Aaron remained quiet as he weighed what Hannah said.

"Reid was our best option for getting those hostages out alive. He could do the trick to convince the gunman his imagined chip had been removed and he figured out which mental illness the gunman had." Aaron stopped for a minute as he stared out the window, lost for a moment in thought before he turned back. "I saw him after we got everyone off that train and I watched him on the plane. You do have a point about his reaction to all of it. I'll keep my eye on him, but we compartmentalize these things. It helps us get through the cases."

"You don't have to lecture me about psychology Aaron. I was raised by the famous doctors Darrow remember? Spencer's not compartmentalizing Texas. From the way he talked about it, he was deflecting. He bragged about it. Spencer brags when he deflects. It's his defense mechanism."

"I didn't see that yesterday."

"I did." She sighed and said, "You'll let me know if anything happens?"

"I'll keep an eye on him. We'll keep each other in the loop."

"Agreed."

"Can I drive you home?"

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why?"

"Because the longer I stay in your presence, the more I want to remove this bathrobe and your clothes, and we both know why we can't do that."

Hannah's directness produced a rare blink from Aaron. It unnerved him that she could effect him like that. His back stiffened and for a moment he couldn't move, not until Hannah closed the gap. Her hands landed on his chest and moved toward his shirt buttons, but Aaron grabbed her wrists and spun her around. Confused and a bit frightened by the sudden change in his behavior and body language, Hannah fought him, but when Aaron hugged her arms at her side and applied pressure, she understood. As a little girl she learned the trick from her parents. They used it on their patients and their children, a favorite way to calm down someone in the middle of a panic or anxiety attack when they couldn't administer Haldol. Though, it never before occurred to Hannah that sympathetic nervous system suppression could subdue the sex drive. Until now. Sometimes Aaron surprised her.

"Stop this." Aaron said into her ear. "Stop this! We can't. You know we can't. This can't happen. It cannot happen. Just calm down. Breathe, and calm down. I'll let you go when you're calm, and only then."

"I'm not ready." Hannah said as her breath came out in panicked heaves. "I'm not ready."

"I know."

"No, I can't stop this. I can't stop how I feel, Aaron." She felt tears in her eyes and tried blinking them away. "I can't stop feeling what I feel for you and it's driving me crazy."

A single tear rolled down the side of her nose and Aaron saw it. He buried his face in her hair and whispered as he tried to keep it together.

"I know, I know, I'm so sorry! I'm sorry Hannah."

"We can't help it. We just can't." Hannah inhaled a deep breath before she said, "I need you to hold me tighter. You're not holding me tight enough. You have to hold me tighter or it won't work."

Aaron corrected his hold with Hannah's help. They stayed that way for two minutes and the whole time neither of them spoke. Once Hannah felt her heart rate drop back into her normal range, she tapped his wrist. He released her and stepped back.

"Hannah," Aaron studied her face, ready to grab and hold her until she calmed down again. "How do you feel?"

"Feel? I feel like I'm stuck in a loop! Like we're stuck in a loop." Hannah said as her real anger leapt out of her. "Damn it Aaron! How many times must we have this same fight? We want to but we can't, we want to but we can't! How many times?"

"You're the one who keeps attacking me, Hannah!"

"Bullshit." Hannah said and brought up their last physical confrontation. "The hospital stairwell! I wouldn't have been surprised if you had taken me right there. When you pressed me against that wall with your body, that's what I thought was going to happen, and despite being angry with you, I wouldn't have stopped you if you tried. I would have welcomed you! And you would have done it too, when you were staring at my lips, if I hadn't stopped you. But what if I hadn't tried to stop you?"

"One of these days I'm not going to stop you!" Aaron's tone turned thick as he said, "I just won't have the strength anymore."

The rest of Hannah's argument died right there. For a few seconds she just stared at Aaron before she turned away.

"Fuck!"

Aaron nodded as he looked away too.

"Can we even remain friends given the circumstances?" Aaron said.

"Don't Aaron." Hannah turned back to him and Aaron saw the fear in her eyes. "Do not even go there. That's not even a possibility and we both know it."

With that statement, Hannah ended the argument. She stood at the window and stared out. A minute passed before either spoke.

"Can I drive you home?" Aaron said again.

"No." Hannah said with more force than last time. "I'm not stopping at home this morning. I have clothes in the guest bedroom and my office keys in my purse. Marcus already said he'll drive me as he heads to work."

"I'll leave you to it then."

"Aaron." Hannah looked back and said, "Don't talk to Spencer about our fight last night. Don't even mention to him that we talked this morning."

The room fell into silence again. Hannah stared past him at the study door until Aaron nodded and opened it. He gave her a shy smile as he slipped out.

"Bye." Aaron said as he left her alone in the study and closed the door between them.

It took her two steps to cross the room. She pressed her ear against the door and listened. Aaron's footsteps disappeared once the front door closed. Hannah stepped back, bunched the fabric of her borrowed bathrobe against her mouth, and screamed into it.