-Yin Kozart, Head Gamemaker-
Sometimes I really wish Kelley was here. I really need him in the hustle and bustle of being a Gamemaker. After all, I'm not Solitaire; I can't just waltz around while being all perfect and graceful and beautiful and brilliant while Deck babbles and Singe drools.
I wish I could just leave the babies off with Kelley, but Kelley refuses to come to the Complex, and I'm not going to force him. After all, even though I'm a Capitolite, a Gamemaker, a Head Gamemaker at that, I'm still a human.
You see, the reason that Kelley O'Callaghan is an Avox is because his brother Edward O'Callaghan was a Head Gamemaker years and years back, and after he was accused of being involved with rebels, he was killed and Kelley was made an Avox. When Kelley entered Solitaire's household, he was defiant and always angry. He wasn't nearly as loyal or obedient as the Kelley I know.
That's because she treated him like a human. If she hadn't, he wouldn't be so reliable. She let him grieve. She let him be destructive. She let him let it out. She was compassionate and kind. She was patient and gentle. She was everything I never would've been for him. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve his service, because if it weren't for Solitaire, I would have never seen the world in such an unconventional way. I would have punished him and hurt him, not hugged him and forgiven him.
Now I see, though. I guess that's what matters. After all, without him, I'd be alone. Not that I wouldn't have plenty of other Avoxes, of course, but none of them are as dedicated as Kelley, and none of them are even close to as well liked by the kids.
Right now, though, my area is cluttered with all kinds of things from the twins' baby bag. Books about random shit are scattered. Toys, pacifiers, and other things that are covered in drool are scattered around my Arena plans. I've never been the most organized.
Call me sappy or whatever, but having my sons' stuff on my desk reminds me why this Games has to be good. I just have to survive this year, that's all. Then I can take care of my boys in peace.
I have some time before my meeting, though, so I decide to take the boys around and give them some practice, hoping to have them speaking sentences soon. First, I go over to the plants station. Deck babbles happily on my left, and Singe gurgles cheerfully on the right. I go over to where some of the pictures are up on the screen.
"Afternoon Floris," I say. The man on duty looks up, making a tall vine grow up on the screen.
"Oh, Mr. Kozart. Good day." Floris has bright pink and yellow hair, and light, neon blue eyes for the summer. He changes his colors out each season of the year, and we often meet for tea when Games season isn't going on. However, when we're behind the control boards, he's a totally different person. Much more stressed out, tense, and professional.
"No need to be so wound up. You can call me Yin."
"Of course." He looks up, his expression softening when he sees the kids. "Hey there kiddies. How are you?" The boys babble in response, and I laugh a bit.
"They're fine. Staying out of trouble… For the most part."
"Ah, yeah, that's good."
"See the plants, boys?" I ask, pointing at the screen where the vine is growing. "There are some flowers," I point to a bright yellow flower on the screen. "And some trees," I point to a couple of trees. "And some berries." Deck coos, while Singe reaches for the virtual plants on the screen.
"Looks good, Floris."
The man smiles at me. "Thanks. I'll let you know as we make progress." He pulls up a model of a huge tree, that looks solid and real.
"See the tree boys?"
"It's a hybrid," Floris says, smiling proudly. He's really interested in this kind of stuff.
I bring the boys in closer to the hologram. Singe giggles and babbles, reaching for the holographic tree. "Tree!" he says gleefully as he reaches at the hologram. "Tree! Here tree!"
Deck, who has always been the quieter of the two, just coos happily and reaches through it.
"Say bye bye tree. Let's go see what Makvala's doing."
"See ya," says Floris, smiling kindly at the babies and tapping Deck's nose, causing the boy to laugh.
"Keep up the good work," I say, feeling cheerful as I walk to where Mackvala Baris is working on mutts.
"Afternoon Mr. Kozart."
"Hey Makvala. How's it going?"
"Good," she says, smiling when she looks up and sees the babies. "How is everyone else looking?"
"Things are perfectly on schedule."
She smiles and coos at the babies. "That's good, isn't it?"
"Can we see what you've got there? I'm trying to show the boys some Games vocabulary while I can."
"Oh, of course." She pulls up a hologram first of an eel, black with white stripes.
"Interesting. But… What does it do?" I know she doesn't like to be doubted, I can tell by how her shoulders tense with annoyance, her low, blue and purple ponytail sways as she shakes her head a bit.
"They bite. Toxic. Their coloration is a warning to predators to keep away."
"Oooh, interesting." She relaxes at my approval, although I know if I didn't approve she would argue.
"Look there, boys," I say, smiling. "It's an eel. See how it's slimy and squirmy."
The boys giggle at the words, Singe reaching out first to the hologram, then Deck.
"Eel!" says Singe happily.
"Yeah, that's right. It's an eel," Makvala coos. "Pretty eel, huh?"
"Pitty!" says Singe, causing the young woman's dark purple eyes to light up as she laughs.
"What else?"
She switches the screen to a hologram of a cat-like creature. Compared to us, it's huge. It has spots on it and yellow eyes.
"Jaguar," Makvala says. "Isn't it pretty?"
"Beautiful, I say quietly, reaching out to touch it, forgetting just a second that it's not entirely real.
The young Gamemaker beams proudly. "Thanks!"
"Kitty!" squeals Deck happily.
"Yeah, that's a kitty. Pretty jaguar, huh?"
"Meow!" says Singe, causing both boys to laugh. Makvala's beam only widens at the praise.
"Keep up the good work," I tell her, "We'll be around again eventually."
"Of course," she says, patting the twins' heads. "You two be good now!" she coos.
"They are good so very rarely," I say, laughing as I walk to the last station the boys should know.
"Cicero!" I wave to the young Gamemaker, who was absorbed in his work. He looks up, running a hand through his purple and green-streaked hair.
"Mr. Kozart," he says pointedly. I know he doesn't like the whole first-name-basis-in-the-workplace kind of deal.
"How's it going?" He turns to his weather screen, showing me the sun and storms.
"Our temperature regulation test just passed for the daytime. We have to test the breeze in the night and make sure everything is up to par."
"Wonderful!"
Suddenly, my personal secretary Taj appears. "Mr. Kozart, you have to be at the meeting with the President and his associates in five minutes!"
"What!? Oh, shit!"
One of the perks of being a Head Gamemaker instead of an interviewer is that I can swear whenever the hell I want now without putting any money in the jar. Solitaire used to make me pay for each curse, to break the habit so I didn't swear on television. At the end, the money in the jar was used on our first date. So I guess it wasn't as horrible as I thought.
"Yeah," Taj says. I know that the President isn't going to appreciate the babies, so I quickly take them out of the carrier.
"Cicero!"
He turns around, his synthetically green eyes looking annoyed. "Do me a favor," I say, shoving the baby bag at him. "And take them please."
"What?! Me?" He looks surprised but instinctively catches the baby bag when I toss it at him.
"Yes, you," I say. "Please. Everyone else is hard at work and you have a break. Please."
"I don't even-"
"Please, Cicero. I'm talking to President Snow right now, if you watch them I swear I'll put in only the best word for you and advise that he make you Head Gamemaker when I retire."
That gets him to look up and seriously consider it, giving me the opportunity to sit Deck and Singe on the floor at his feet.
"Please, just sit with them and read this book," I say, pushing down on his shoulders to make him sit on the floor and picking the book out from the top of the baby bag.
He takes it and looks at it with judgmental eyes. "Fun With Shapes and Food? What the hell is this shit?"
"They really like it, just read it to them, please?"
He flips the book open and reads out loud. "'This is a square. The cheese is a square.' What the actual fuck?"
"Just start from the beginning and read it, and if they get bored, there are weather flashcards in there as well!" I know he's interested in the weather. And I know that he's interested in being a Head Gamemaker someday, for the 43rd and 44th Games and all beyond.
I see him make a face but he flips the book back to the first page.
Taj starts to drag me along. She's never let me be late for a single thing in my life, and she's not going to start today. I call over my shoulder to Cicero as I go, "If they cry try giving them a pacifier. If that doesn't work try playing with them. If that doesn't work feed them. If not smell them. Thank you Cicero! I'll put in a good word for you!"
I'm sure the boys are in good hands.
~.~.
After another crazy and exhausting day has come and gone, but now I'm alone with the boys for a little bit.
I still think of Solitaire all the time here. This house is filled with her ghost.
Singe is asleep in his crib, and I'm rocking Deck in my arms, who blinks tiredly but still hasn't closed his eyes.
"Your Mama would be so proud of you," I say. I tell them every single day. I never want them to doubt how much Solitaire loved them. I don't want them to doubt how much I love them. "And your Dada is proud of you too."
They're never going to remember her. Someday, their eyes will be blank and confused when I tell them about the legacy of their mother. Someday they're going to be awake at night, wishing they had two parents instead of one. Because even though I'm trying my best, I can't be everything she was. She has some big shoes to fill, as a parent and a friend and as a Gamemaker. Shoes that seem almost impossible.
"Deck." I hold my son close to my chest, remembering Solitaire's first great success. I remember walking around the Arena with her, her eyes lit up brightly as she explained each little thing that happened, each thing she came up with. That's when I realized just how great she was. Just how perfect and pretty and intelligent she was. Just how passionate and lively she was. Just how much I wanted to spend my life with her.
Yeah, I fell fast. Really fast.
I guess I'd always had a thing for her, hidden under layers or coldness and sarcasm. Who wouldn't have a thing for her, really?
"Singe." I rock his cradle gently, remember her second big Games. I look at the baby and remember the first time we kissed. I would do anything, anything to have her back. If I could've died so that she could live and see our children grow, I would've done it in a heartbeat.
I sigh, still shaking a little bit thinking about her death.
"If you're even a little bit like her, you're going to take the world by storm," I say, rocking Singe's cradle before brushing some of the brown fuzz on Deck's head. "You're lucky to have her genes. You're going to be talented and brilliant, if you take after her."
Deck's eyes close as the baby drifts off to sleep. I get up and put him in his crib, rocking both of the cradles gently.
I have to make these Games passable.
I have to live.
I have to be there for my boys.
~.~.
A/N: A bit of a shorter chapter, but I wanted to give you a brief interlude from Yin's POV. Makvala and Cicero both belong to my friend Jess and you can find them in their story Magnets, thank you for letting me use them!
After this will come interviews, and we'll hear from Wyatt and Trekker. Hope to see you all there!
Chapter Question: How done would you rate Cicero? On a scale of 1-10? Just kidding. The real Chapter Question is this: based on the mutts and plants etc., what are your ideas about what the Arena might be?