Regulus looked down at his brother, anger flooding into him, blocking his other emotions.
What was he doing? Sirius had always played tricks on him – didn't he? Regulus wrenched his head back and forth. He couldn't think like that anymore. Sirius was the same person he remembered. There was no change.
It didn't matter that Sirius seemed to believe he had been different. When could he ever trust what Sirius said? Sirius wasn't there for him. He had his own damn agenda. Regulus couldn't trust him. He could never trust him.
Turning away, he walked out of Sirius's room, not caring that he didn't know when Sirius would wake up.
Let him wake up alone! He deserved the beating. Sirius had been a mix of disrespectful and rude at the train station. Their father had been right to punish him.
Nothing he'd done was that bad anyway.
(I've had worse.)
What? Where'd that thought come from? He'd never been hit before. After all, he was the perfect son that listened to everything his father said.
(that's how it's always been.)
It was only a couple shots. His father had done worse to Sirius before.
(when?)
Sirius would recover; he always did. He was very accomplished at being able to hide the marks of his beatings.
(he doesn't have any scars.)
(surely, he should.)
(I did)
Regulus shook his head, trying to rid himself of those strange thoughts that seemed to be replaying in his head.
Over and over.
(like I don't know myself.)
Regulus laughed, near manically. It didn't make sense.
(does anything?)
Sirius shouldn't be that weak – like he wasn't used to it – from one beating. The shock that had been in his eyes – it was like that was his first time being hit. That certainly wasn't true.
(I can't remember him being hit.)
Sirius had been hit so many times before. Regulus stomped into his room, breathing out loudly as he crossed the threshold. Why couldn't he stop thinking about this? There was no deep, hidden secret. His brother was weak. He was a Gryffindor.
(so am I.)
Regulus stood at his desk. For some reason, looking at the green walls
(slytherin)
didn't comfort him. He found an unopened letter on his desk. On the front, "Reggie" was scrawled. It was Sirius's handwriting.
(when did I get this?)
"Reggie,
I'm a Gryffindor. A Gryffindor! I'm not a slimy-snake-Slytherin! The dorm looks great, and its nothing like mother said it would be. Remember when she told us that the Gryffindors don't even get beds because they are so worthless? The beds here are more comfortable than back at home!
How are you, Reggie? I'm worried. I didn't get to see you before I left. Please, don't get caught doing anything bad. I don't want them to hurt you.
Tell me if you need me to come home for Christmas. I don't really want to, but if you need me to, then I will.
I met this one kid - James Potter. You'd like him. I can't wait to introduce you guys, actually.
Write back soon!
Siri
P.S. Don't tell mother that I'm in Gryffindor. I'll send her a letter."
It was clear that Sirius had sent it at the beginning of the year. Had it sat unopened on his desk for so long?
(why have I never seen it?)
Sirius seemed almost as if he was bragging.
(no.)
That was wrong. He seemed almost as if he thought Regulus would share in his joy.
He didn't remember when mother told them Gryffindors didn't get beds.
(should I?)
Sirius seemed… concerned for him in the letter. The whole thing about him saying he was worried played in Regulus's mind. Why would he have been worried? Nothing unusual had happened. All he really did was do his private studies on being a pureblood. He was quite inept in the beginning – his parents had probably made them a lot harder than what he had learned before this year. Although, to him, it had seemed like he had never even studied any of it before.
Then there was the whole thing with James Potter. Regulus… and James? A Black and a Potter? Sirius had always been the rebel.
(why don't I remember it, then?)
Why did Sirius think that he'd like James? Sirius would never introduce them. He'd probably think that Regulus was a tagalong if he even got on the train with Sirius.
Regulus looked around the room,
(trapped, confined)
his eyes took in the dark green walls. They now seemed too close, too confining.
(can't escape.)
Regulus turned so quickly that he knocked several items off his desk, including the letter from Sirius. It fluttered to the ground, but Regulus was already stalking from his room.
He nearly ran out the front door. Taking deep, gulping breaths, he felt finally like he was free.
(free? Will I ever be?)
He fell to the grass, not caring that it was in the muggles' clear sight. His legs suddenly seemed unable to carry him. He couldn't do this.
(lost. Defenseless.)
Collapsing on himself, he let out a quiet sob. This was too much – everything was too much. Sirius was hurt. Father and Mother were distant as always.
(they hurt me.)
He couldn't remember. Regulus could hardly remember anything.
(can't I?)
"Sssstupid human," he heard something hiss.
"Shut up," he told the voice, not caring who it was.
"A Ssspeaker? What is wrong, Sssspeaker?"
(speaker?)
Regulus turned around and saw the snake on the ground. He paled drastically.
"I'm a Parselmouth," he muttered.
"Nothing," he told the snake before spinning around and walking to the road. The snake didn't respond to him. He walked down the street, his mind fuzzy and unsure.
(I can speak to snakes)
It wasn't a bad trait – not at all. Mother and Father would have been happy – and proud – that he had it.
(Sirius wouldn't be.)
Regulus shook his head stubbornly. No, Sirius wouldn't care. He had walked a good way down the street. Regulus saw a muggle playground. There was a woman there – a muggle, no doubt. There was also a boy.
(Alex.)
The mudblood. Regulus turned away, to return home, but the mudblood saw him and cried out.
"Regulus!"
Then Regulus heard the pitter-patter of feet on asphalt, and he was tackled from behind by a blabbering mudblood.
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Hey, guys. Sorry it's been a while since my last update. I'm just really busy.
I tried a new method this chapter. Please tell me how it worked with the thoughts in parenthesis. That's a method done by Stephen King. I figured I might as well try it. I tried to get it to symbolize the small (but growing) part of Regulus that still remembers everything.
Please review.
Thanks to all my old reviewers.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.