Again, I'm sitting beside Ludwig in my bed. He's not under the blankets this time, it's much too hot for that right now. We didn't do things tonight, and I'm surprisingly happy about that.
I'm not saying this because the sex isn't good... that is definitely not the reason.
No, I'm saying this because instead of sex, we watched a movie while cuddling on the couch. Quite honestly, I don't even remember what movie we watched... I was too busy trying to calm down my heart beat and my breathing.
I'm still nervous when I'm with him.
He thinks it's cute.
The times that we bond over simple things are what I had longed for since our relationship started. It meant that it wasn't about sex... it was about something more than that.
I love when we walk together and he tries to hold my hand. Normally I'm hesitant at first, but I give in. I can't help it. I would do just about anything for him.
My heart is beating fast just thinking about him.
I look down at the German man sleeping comfortably beside me, and I want to kiss him, but I'm a little too shy and I don't wish to wake him.
Another sigh escapes my lips and he rolls over, now facing the wall.
Perhaps I should lie down and sleep. It's already 3 in the morning...
But I can't really sleep right now, I'm too...
Ecstatic?
Happy?
In love.
I think that I'll try, again, to fall asleep... soon, anyway.
He has turned back over to look at me, now. His eyes are hardly open, but they're gentle.
"Ich liebe dich, Kiku." He sits up and wraps his arms tightly around me.
My favorite of all feelings. His warm embrace.
His soft lips against my blushing cheeks can do nothing less than make my heart stop for a moment as I melt into him. His scent is intoxicating.
He says it's time that I sleep.
His fingers touch the top of my laptop as he starts to close it slowly, waiting for me to finish this line.