How to Continue Living
Chapter 10
by Contrail

Disclaimer: Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima, and is being used without permission. No profit is being made from this story.

Juvia asked for Levy's help on her search as soon as she could - very few members knew the contents of the guild's library better then she did. Levy was quite willing to aid her, but unfortunately the library wasn't kept in a particularly organized fashion, and a number of the older books were compendiums filled with seemingly random assortments of topics, guided more by whatever subjects struck the author's fancy than any overarching theme. And as Devil Slaying magic was a Lost Magic, like the other Slayer magics, any detailed information about it was likely to only be found in older texts.

That's why they'd ended up spending several hours a day for the past couple of days poring through the library's contents trying to find something that might explain what was happening to Gray. Gajeel hadn't felt up to joining the search - this kind of research was hardly his forte - but he did check on them every so often, reminding them to take breaks and eat.

Some of the texts that might have a lead were written in archaic dialects or foreign languages. Juvia usually let Levy handle those, as her skills with languages far surpassed Juvia's own. Unfortunately, that meant that none of the ones Juvia was looking through had more than passing mentions of Devil Slaying magic. Fatigue setting in, Juvia pushed up the Galeforce reading glasses she'd borrowed from Lucy and rubbed her eyes.

"I think I may have found something…" Levy's statement wasn't loud, but still drew Juvia's attention immediately.

Standing up and stretching, Juvia walked over so she could look over Levy's shoulder. The book Levy was looking through now was very thick and at least a couple of hundred years old. Pointing at some of the text on the page, written in one of Fiorian's older dialects, Levy said, "This passage here is clearly talking about Devil Slaying magic." Juvia could only make out some of the words, but Levy did seem to be correct, so she nodded. "I'd have to take the time to translate it into more modern wording to figure out what exactly it's saying and how extensive the passage is, but it could be a start, at least."

Smiling down at Levy, Juvia told her, "It's the first real lead to be found - thank you very much for finding it. You should work out what exactly it says, while Juvia continues looking."

Settling back into her seat, Juvia tackled the pile of books in front of her with renewed vigor, though little more success. She occasionally glanced over at Levy, finding her hard at work, concentrating intensely on translating what she'd found into a more readable form. Even as knowledgeable as Levy was, she was forced to consult dictionaries to understand some of the words she was encountering.

It wasn't until after lunch the next day that Levy finished up her translation. At first Juvia was feeling hopeful that since Levy was taking so long, the information would be extensive and useful, but her spirits dimmed upon seeing how grim Levy looked when handing the stack of pages she'd written over. "…Is it bad?" Juvia asked, worry etching itself on her features.

Levy sighed, looking away. "It's not hopeless, but… Just read it."

With a lump in her throat, Juvia carried the rewritten passages over to her seat, clearing off the table in front of her so she could spread them out before her. Sitting down heavily, she began to read.

Of the three known Slayer magics, Devil Slaying magic is the one most inimical to its wielders. While God Slaying magic tends slowly burn out those that wield it, for no mortal frame was ever meant to hold the might of a god, and Dragon Slaying magic tries to draw its wielders into becoming Dragons themselves, only Devil Slaying magic carries an inherently corrupting influence, for only Demons thrive on hatred, rage, and pain.

Unlike Take-Over magic, where the powers of the taken over entities are largely locked away, Slaying magic involves a far more thorough absorption of some of the nature of the creature the magic is drawn from. And Demons, whose power comes from a source other than the Ethernano that all normal forms of magic draw on, have a nature that is antithetical to other forms of life.

Thus, Devil Slaying magic eats away at the body and especially the mind of those who wield it. As the Devil Slayer's powers go stronger, and particularly if they absorb power directly from Demons, the corruption within them grows. Those strong of mind and body can restrain and even control the spread of this corruption to a degree, but none can prevent it entirely. The corruption will seek out any weakness or negative emotions held in the heart of the Devil Slayer and seek to exploit them.

It is thought that the only thing that can truly fight back the corruption is Love, the force that some even consider to be the source of all magic. The presence of those who support and care for the Devil Slayer in their life is vital to keeping the corruption from progressing to the point where it will result in madness or death. Unfortunately, there is no recorded account of a Devil Slayer avoiding those fates entirely, unless they fell in battle before the deterioration progressed that far.

The text continued on to describe exercises that would help a Devil Slayer bring the corruption under control, but Juvia stopped reading at that point. She felt sick to her stomach. Did Father-sama know how much of a burden he was placing on Gray -sama when he passed on his Devil Slaying powers? Is that why he'd asked her to take care of him? She didn't think Silver would knowingly sentence his own son to madness and death, but… Taking deep breaths, she reminded herself that just because there was no record of someone managing not to succumb to the corruption of Devil Slaying magic, didn't mean it wasn't possible. And if anyone was good at defying the odds, it was the mages of Fairy Tail.

Standing up, she told Levy, "Juvia will take this information to Porlyusica - the sooner she has an idea of what she's dealing with the better."

"Alright, I'll keep looking, see if I can find anything more about this," Levy replied, her head buried in a book.

Juvia didn't pay much attention to her trip through Magnolia to Porlyusica's cottage, her mind too full of the new information she had. Once she handed the papers over to Porlyusica, the healer read them, her mouth thinning into a grim line as she did so. Muttering about human foolishness, Porlyusica sent her to fetch Gray.

Juvia had seen him in the guild earlier as she'd passed through, and thankfully he was still there when she came back. He readily agreed to come with her to Porlyusica's. As they walked through Magnolia and the eastern forest, the air around them was heavy and tense. Perhaps realizing that the news wasn't good from her demeanor, Gray hadn't asked any questions of her after Juvia had told him that Porlyusica wanted to see him about his condition. Glancing over at Gray, she could see a little bit of the blackness creeping down his arm - now that she knew what it was, she couldn't keep a shudder from running down her spine.

After they arrived at Porlyusica's cottage, Juvia stood back a ways while Porlyusica told Gray about the information they'd found out. "Do you have any idea as to why this has progressed as quickly as it has?" Porlyusica questioned sharply.

Gray was looking down at his arm, the sleeve pushed back to reveal the black patch that was no longer vanishing completely. "Well, I have been pushing my training rather hard lately. And…" Juvia shifted closer to listen more easily as he slowly continued, "During the battle with Tartarus, when I faced Mard Geer with Natsu… He threw an attack at us that he'd come up with to try to kill Zeref. It was a desperate ploy, but I had a feeling that I could… absorb the power of it, or something. And it worked, but… that was the first time my skin changed like this."

"Such reckless fools this guild has in it," Porlyusica grumbled.

Scowling, Gray shot back, "Hey, I didn't have time to come up with anything else! If I hadn't done that, neither Natsu or I would still be around!"

"Be that as it may, this power your father placed upon you carries considerable consequences with it," Porlyusica responded. "You should consider ceasing your use of it entirely."

Ignoring that, Gray asked, "You said that you found some exercises that would help me with containing the corruption?"

Clicking her tongue, Porlyusica handed him the pages Juvia had brought to her. "Take it and get out, then, if you won't listen to sense."

Gray quickly thanked her and headed out the door. Juvia's feet carried her after him as she called out, "Gray-sama, wait!" He stopped and turned around a few feet away from the cottage. She was sure the concern that she felt for him was written all over her face. "Juvia had no idea that… that Gray-sama had come so close…"

A wry smile pulled at his lips as he said, "I guess we both had close calls back then, huh? Though yours was much closer than mine." Reaching out, he tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "You know I can't stop pushing myself to get stronger, right?"

She nodded slowly. "Because of END. But, afterwards…"

"After END is gone, I'll only use it if I must," he told her, his eyes locked on her to show his sincerity.

Reaching out, she pulled him into a hug. He was stiff with surprise at first, but soon allowed himself to relax into her embrace. "Just remember that there are many people who want you to stay alive, with them," she said, words muffled as she rested her head against his chest.

"I'll do my best to not die, but you know there's no guarantees going into that kind of fight."

"Juvia knows…" she replied, her voice heavy with sadness.

He sighed. "This is part of why I hadn't been planning to tell you…"

Raising her head to look at him, she slowly shook it. "Even if Juvia loses you someday, she'd rather know that you care about her, and have made memories with you, than never had this at all."

"I hope you'll never have cause to regret those words." She laid her head back on his chest, and he rested his chin on top of it as they stood there holding each other for a while.

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