"So, you won't have to worry about a sexual assault charge." Sorano scoffed at Smith's remark. "As if I was worried." Smith smirked at this. Sorano knew what she was going to say, his posture immediately shifted from into a slouch and he covered where his ears assumedly were. "I don't want to hear it." Smith's smirk widened. "And I quote, 'was that illegal'."
Sorano, started shaking his head furiously back and forth, almost as if he were convulsing in a seizure. "I have no idea what you're talking about!" It was probably the most childish response he could have chosen, which made it even more humorous for Smith to witness. Maybe Doppel had a point? He certainly was melodramatic.
They were both sitting in Kurusu's house, having already made it back home. Smith had pulled Sorano aside and asked Miia and Kurusu to give them a moment. Originally she had been going to scold him for not only losing his two companions, but also sneaking into a possible crime scene naked. However the sight of a grown man bowing his head in shame lightened her mood considerable. It was an odd combination of endearing and pathetic, something that described most of the ridiculous actions Sorano had gotten into over the years.
She allowed him his moment of immaturity. If he were doing this a week ago she would have been irritated. But now she couldn't bring herself to be. This was the first time he'd stayed with a household for more than a day. Even if it wasn't that much more than a day. It wasn't much to go by, but it was progress in her books. So instead of face palming at his behavior, she let it slide, instead chuckling softly at his expense.
Smith then stood up, taking her leave of the bandaged man. "Take care, Sorano." He continued shaking his head, vaguely looking akin to a victim of demonic possession. She knew that wasn't the case though, she had files on all the demons in this area. Smith left the living room they were in, stopping by Kurusu's and Miia's rooms to say farewell. She then left the house, a Styrofoam cup of coffee in her hand. Sorano watched her go, continuing his demonstration until he started to get dizzy.
He'd gotten redressed, now wearing a simply bathrobe over his bandages. Pink slippers with bunny ears adorned his feet. He'd taken a bath while Smith talked to Miia and Kurusu separately. He didn't pry them for information. Whatever they spoke about was unimportant to him. Instead he'd enjoyed a bath before having to speak to Smith alone. With her gone, he told Kurusu and Miia he was going to bed, and went to his room.
He of course lied. I'm a grown man. Grown men don't have bed times. Instead of going to bed he locked his door and squatted down in front of the gramophone. A record was chosen, and a second later the sweet sound of Delta blues echoed throughout the room. "Ah, Mr. Morganfield, it was a pleasure to see you in Newport." Sorano tapped a finger against the side of his cheek as he reminisced. A pleased humming emanated from him as he did so. Then the grandfather clock began to chime, riling him from his memories. "It's a crying shame he's been gone for over thirty years." The thought dampened his pleasant mood.
"No matter." He clasped his hands together, a loud clap cutting through the music. "Time to write." The rest of the night passed quickly. Sorano sat at his desk, continuing his journal entries. This night it was mostly a recollection of the day's events, instead of him wondering about the future. It was easier to write. He made far fewer mistakes, and as such there were far fewer crumpled balls of paper. Captain Planet would be quietly thanking him this night. Sorano didn't even realize he'd dozed off until he woke up the next morning.
With a tired yawn and a quick stretch he was up and about once again. The grandfather clock read eleven o'clock. He'd overslept quite a bit. Sorano left his room, absentmindedly scratching his ass as he walked out the door. The house was eerily quiet, Miia and Kurusu were nowhere in sight. This lead Sorano to only one conclusion. "They've been kidnapped by Al Gore." It was the only logical conclusion. Kurusu never recycled.
Sorano went to the coffee maker and poured himself a cup. A quick shifting of his facial bandages and he was able to drink it without making a mess. He could only happily sigh at the flavor. It was certainly a good way to start off his day. He sat down at the dining table. Kurusu had been kind enough to leave the daily newspaper at the table for him. Sorano hadn't asked him to. He personally didn't even enjoy reading the newspaper. But for whatever reason Kurusu had put it there for him. He wouldn't snub the guy.
Sorano thumbed his way through the articles, taking a sip from his mug every so often. This moment of peace and quiet lasted roughly two seconds. "Darling!" Frantic screaming greeted Sorano's ears. "Wonderful. I don't have to invade Tennessee now." Sorano ignored her wailing and continued looking through the newspaper. He couldn't really focus on the words though. Miia's scream had given him a migraine, and that did wonders for one's concentration.
"Darling this. Darling that. Why don't you shut up once in a while?" He said this even though he knew she couldn't hear him. Her voice had come from the floor above him. Still, it was cathartic to voice his complaints. Then he heard a sound that he dreaded hearing. The sound of scales sliding across the carpet. She'd already made her way down the stairs. Now she was heading right for him.
It's too early for this. I haven't even finished my coffee. He did his best to ignore her as she ran (or rather slithered) up to him. Maybe she's like a T-rex? I can probably evade her if I just stand still. "Darling's been kidnapped!" There goes that theory. She was in his face without any warning. Frankly, it scared the shit out of him.
Sorano jolted back in his seat, knocking the mug of hot coffee over in the process. It poured its contents on his lap. There was a tense moment as both of them looked at the scalding hot liquid that currently covered Sorano's nether region. Sorano looked Miia straight in the eye. His mouth opened in a soundless scream. Miia broke into an incoherent jumble of apologies. Sorano broke into an incoherent jumble of profanity.
This lasted until the pain passed. Or rather, until Sorano got used to the feeling of third degree burns. He then promptly stood up and walked to the fridge. Salvation came to him in the form of an ice pack. It was placed rather uncomfortably right over his crotch. He didn't know what was worse, the scorching heat from the coffee, or the freezing cold of the pack. Damn you Al Gore. Why didn't you take the snake instead?
"We have to help Darling!" There was a painfully long moment of silence between them. Then Sorano turned to her. A terrifyingly wide grin could be seen underneath the gauze on his face. His hands were pantomiming the action of strangling someone. He did this for a solid thirty seconds before he appeared to calm down. Miia struggled to remain quiet as he did so.
Upon ending his subtle temper tantrum, Sorano placed the ice pack on the counter. "Alright, who kidnapped him?" The response he got was an unintelligible mess. "Aharpygirlwithbluehairstoledarlingshesgoingtoeathimweneedtosavehim!" A distinguishable frown appeared on Sorano face. "I'm sorry, but I'm not fluent in gibberish. Slow down and speak clearly."
"A harpy girl with blue hair stole darling she's going to eat him we need to save him!" Wow, that's a perfect example of a run-on sentence. "So, from what I understand, a blue-haired harpy girl grabbed Darling…uh Kurusu." Miia was nodding frantically before he even finished. "How big was this harpy?"
Miia pondered the question for a moment, thinking back to her brief glance at the girl. "She was kind of small, maybe an AA? An A at most." Sorano's shoulders slumped at the reply. He couldn't help but hide his face in his hands. "I didn't mean her bust size." Miia's mouth formed into a comically large 'o' shape.
Then she regained her composure. "I don't know she wasn't that big. She kind of looked like a child to be honest." For whatever reason that seemed to cheer Sorano up. He abruptly straightened his posture and started merrily whistling as he walked away. "Wait! What about Darling?!" Sorano waved her off as he walked back to his room. "Oh, he's dead. There's no way a harpy that size could carry him. He's probably a splat on the pavement right now."
Miia practically broke down into tears at the thought. "What if he's not dead? What if she's going to eat him?" She forced out those questions in between sniffles. They managed to reach Sorano before he shut his door. In Miia's mind the concept of 'eating' was probably born from a misconception about the Greek legends involving harpies stealing the food of evildoers.
In Sorano's mind the word 'eating' combined with the mention of the girl looking like a child and evolved into a disgusting image not even seen in the deepest corners of the Internet. "Why Japan? Why do you give me these thoughts?"
Miia was confused by his questions, Sorano interrupted her before she could ask what he was on about. "Is Kurusu into younger women?" The seriousness in which he said this startled Miia. She felt disappointed when she realized she didn't know the answer to his question. "I don't know?" She was unsure as to why he asked this.
Sorano had a reason for this question though. A very deep reason. Fucking degenerate lolicon. "Come. We cannot allow for this debauchery to occur." With that Sorano strode past Miia and straight out the front door. "We must preserve the innocent!" Whether he was talking about the harpy girl or Kurusu was up to debate.
"Hey you! Yeah, you! You see a bird lady carrying a screaming human around here?" "The hell?" Sorano shoved his way past another street goer. This was the eighth time he hadn't gotten a proper answer. "This is a pain in the ass." Voicing his complaints aloud was becoming quite therapeutic. "Keep up Snaky. You're slow as hell." Miia was lagging behind, trying her best to slither at the same speed Sorano was moving. It'd become a sort of game between them. He'd sprint into a short dash, leaving her in his dust. Then while he was gasping for air she'd slither past him, and the cycle would once again continue.
"At least I'm in better shape than you." Sorano's eyes narrowed behind his sunglasses. "I'm in perfect shape for my age." Miia couldn't help but scoff at that. "Only if you're like a hundred years old." Sorano's face became a wide grin despite the apparent insult. "I wish I was that young." Miia had to do a double take to make sure she'd heard that correctly. "Wha-?"
"Hey you! Yeah, you! Have ya seen a bird lady carrying a guy lately?" Finally Sorano's luck seemed to appear. The confused woman in front of him could only point in the general direction of the park upon hearing the bandaged man's question. "Thank God." He nodded at the woman before strutting towards the park. "Snaky, the kid's over here." That shook Miia from her daze, she rocketed past Sorano and in the direction of the park. "Hey wait up! Don't do something nuts!" Damn youngsters. Sorano tried his best to catch up to her. His best wasn't good enough. He only made it in time to hear Miia's outburst.
"There you are!" Sorano squinted to get a better view of what was happening. "My God. I'm too late." What he saw wasn't pretty. A little girl, completely naked and currently straddling Kurusu in the park's water fountain. The sensual saxophone music playing in his mind didn't help Sorano give Kurusu the benefit of the doubt at all. Kurusu slowly turned to look at Miia upon hearing her voice. The sheepish expression on his face didn't make him look any less guilty. "Y-you birdbrain! First you stole my Darling, and now this?!"
"Hey! What the hell are you doing?! Grab him and let's go before Chris Hansen shows up!" Sorano's yelling was ignored. At least by Miia. Kurusu looked to him, eyes begging for salvation. It would come. In the form of an out of shape old invisible man that slowly stumbled into the scene. Well, maybe not. As aforementioned invisible man was refusing to look up at what was happening before him. Instead he kept his eyes clearly glued to the concrete ground. I'm not going to jail for this. Not this. Anything but this. He flailed around like a blind man, his arms outstretched to get an idea of where he was going. He ran into more than a few of the people in the crowd surrounding the water fountain.
At this point Miia and the harpy were about to go all 'anime duel to the death' on each other's ass. Meanwhile Sorano finally made it to the fountain, only to trip and fall into it alongside Kurusu. He thrashed around in the water while Miia and the harpy started reenacting softcore porn. Kurusu didn't know what to do. Should he stop the two girls from exposing themselves to the world? Or should he help Sorano who currently appeared to be drowning in only a foot of water?
The choice was taken out of his hands when the voice of a small child cried out for help. "Mama!" Immediately the crowd that had been participating in voyeurism moved to a nearby tree to gawk at a little girl dangling from a branch. Of course none of them did anything to help besides tell each other to call the authorities. Kurusu scrambled out of the fountain. Then he quickly ran back to it to pull Sorano out of the water. The bandaged man gasped for air. "I…could see the light. It was beautiful." Ignoring the man's apparent brush with the afterlife, Kurusu pondered what to do to save the little girl. Oh, and he also rushed to dress the two naked girls standing next to him.
"Well would you look at that. There's a human child in a tree. Didn't think you guys were a climbing species." The only one who appeared to be unfazed by it all seemed to be the guy who'd practically died in a puddle. "Well, it's not our problem. Let's head home." And just like that he said something he really shouldn't have. The crowd that had been looking up at the stranded girl shifted their eyes to him. Their looks of concern replaced with malevolent glares, crucifying the man for being so cold. Said man could only shrug in confusion. "What? It's her parents fault for not watching her."
Glares intensified. A mob was beginning to form, ready to thrash this apathetic fool. Kurusu tried his best to play referee. Really he did. He pushed his way in front of Sorano, and started valiantly declaring how they should focus on saving the little girl and ignore the man who was seemingly content with condemning her to her fate. Holy shit, it's just a tree man. I could probably jump up and grab her if I wanted to. Sorano snorted at the entire situation. Not really caring how it would end up. Then he happened to glance at the harpy. For whatever reason an odd piece of trivia came to him about how birds had hollow bones that were lighter than those of humans. An even odder idea formed in his head.
"Fly like an eagle you fucking loli! Fly damn you!" With a toss that mirrored that of a javelin thrower's, the harpy was launched into the tree at superhuman speeds. Unfortunately Sorano's aim wasn't as good as his throw. Crack! And just like that the harpy became an ornament firmly plastered to the tree's trunk. "Damn that looks like it hurt." The nonchalant way Sorano said this didn't help him gain any brownie points from the crowd. They quickly went back to giving him death glares once they got over the shock. Fortunately Sorano's harebrained idea managed to work. Albeit really indirectly. The impact of the harpy's collision shook the tree, and because of this what little grip the little girl had slipped. She proceeded to plummet to her death.
That wasn't exactly what Sorano had in mind, but hey, he got her out of the tree didn't he? Somehow the loli harpy slid down from the trunk simultaneously, flipping through the air and managing to grasp the little girl during her descent. Now they were going to die together. Or at least suffers some bruises. Lo and behold, there was another would-be hero in the crowd. One who actually gave a shit.
Kurusu rushed forward to save them. Sacrificing his very body to provide a cushion for their fall. It worked. Somehow it worked. It also provided an excellent crotch shot to reward Kurusu for his efforts. Unfortunately he couldn't really bask in its glory on account on him seeing stars. There was some cheering and clapping as a result of the successful rescue. While this was happening Sorano relieved himself in the fountain that he'd nearly drowned in. There's never a bad time to take a leak. Especially if you pissed off everyone already. Luckily for him he managed to finish before the cop pulled up.
"Well, look who finally showed up." The cop's eyes were practically bulging out of his head when he recognized the man in front of him. "I…uh…heard there was a kid stuck in a tree around here?" Sorano took a seat at the fountain. "They took care of it already." Sorano pointed at the harpy and Kurusu. They cop made his way over to them in order to offer his congratulations. Sorano started to nod off as he waited for this all to be over with. Then something stirred him awake. A terrible sentence. A declaration that would ruin his life. "I'm her host! They're both assigned to my household!" Any semblance of exhaustion he had was gone the second he heard those words. Sorano bolted from his seat and rushed at Kurusu. "KID?! I know you didn't just go and do that?!" Nearby cop or not, someone was about to be strangled.