Clarke POV:
I felt like I was in and out for years. Every time I started to open my eyes and come back to reality, someone would sound my mom and she would put me back under. I could barley get a sentence out without being pulled back into the dark waves of sleep.
I started to open my eyes, hearing the slow beep of my heart rate. I didn't speak, hoping who ever was in the room wouldn't call for my mom. The lights of the Medic Unit stung, I wasn't used to the fluorescent lights, but just knowing I was alive made my body sing with joy. I slowly turned my head to see Lexa pouring a cup of water by the door that led to the hallway. Just seeing her, knowing she was still by my side gave me a mix of rushing adrenaline and wavering anxiety.
I wanted to get up, to talk to her, to hear her lovely husky voice, but I knew better. Lexa would signal for my mother the second she saw me move. I fought temptation and closed my eyes, listening to her footsteps get closer to me. My blood quickened and I could hear my heart beat start to race.
Lexa leaned into me, and put her hand on my face. She murmured something in Tris, bothered by my heart beat elevation. I wanted to grab her hand and hold her fingers between mine, but I had to stay still. She called for Nyko and hearing her voice made my heart race faster.
A bunch of footsteps entered the room, and I recognized my moms clack of her boots.
"Odd elevation, has she moved or come to at all Commander?" My mother asked cool and even tone. I could hear the stress creeping out of her throat, and I knew she was under a lot of pressure. This couldn't be easy, especially after the grounders betrayed the camp. Panic must of spread through the camp, or an uprising. Just thinking of Lexa being in danger made my stomach lurch, and I wanted to burst up and soothe my mother and hold Lexa.
"No. She hasn't moved since yesterday. I've watched her closely." Lexa said, exhaustively. My heart ached. She really didn't leave my side. This woman deserved more than a hug, and I couldn't wait to caress the wondrous sky girl.
"Hmm, well I can't sedate her if she's not coming too. It would be unwise and screw up her system. If she start to make noises or flutter her eyelids, call me. We can't have her waking with her injuries. She's Clarke Griffin. Knowing my daughter she would bolt outta here trying to save the camp on day one. We need her to heal. You owe her this much, Commander." She finished bitter. I twitched, annoyed, trying to also fight a smile. I know Lexa would be twitching as well, but her tone shocked me.
"Yes Abbey, I fully agree. I will alert you within a moments notice." Lexa said evenly, somber almost. It wasn't a tone that suited Lexa, being a woman who was super argumentative.
The footsteps left the room, and I could hear someone breathing deeply. It took everything in me to not peek, to see if Lexa was one of the footsteps that left the room.
"Lexa, we need to talk about Draju and Peta." The voice startled me, and my heartbeat skipped a beat.
I heard a sharp sigh, and someone shifted beside me and put their hand on mine. The warmth was familiar and I recognized the warmth. It was Lexa.
"We will discuss their punishment when Clarke is well. I will not be bothered by this again Indra, are we clear?" Lexa spoke with such firm authority, it made me melt. No matter the situation, her voice barley wavered. It remained strong, even at the worst of times, and filled you with such hope and drive. That was a true leader.
"Forgive me Heda. I hope to see you in TonDC at dawn for the opening. It's been a week, you can leave Clarke's side." Indra said with worry. Even with my eyes closed I could tell Indra's eyes were filled with concern for her Commander. She was a true friend, beside her duty as unit chief. Another high voice in the room startled me.
"With all due respect Lex- Commander, leave Clarke's side or not, we NEED to deal with Draju and Peta." Her voice rang with annoyance.
Lexa's hand tightened on mine, annoyed with her Chief's second. Her response humbled me, knowing I didn't deserve being the reason Lexa was being so merciful and lenient.
"Octavia" Lexa paused, rubbing my hand. It slowed my heart rate, and I became enchanted of the way her fingers felt against my skin. I could have fallen asleep in this moment if I wasn't so curious of her response.
"I will not deal with the actions of Draju and Peta until Clarke is awake." She resumed, slowing her finger on my hand to stay calm. "Clarke will be the deciding factor of the faith of them. I will not harm them, for what if she didn't agree? Clarke is a complex woman, one I have never met and one I only dream to understand. When she is awake, she will tell you what to do. Do not let your guilt for leaving Indra's side cloud your judgement on the lives of these men. If Clarke has taught me anything, it's to not be rash. So respect this, for Indra may have forgiven you and Lincoln, but I have my doubts." She finished coldly, obviously annoyed and tired of the prodding two.
"As you were Commander. We will ride to TonDC." Indra said quietly, and Octavia gave me a kiss on my forehead.
I took a breath, for holding your eyes closed when people were talking about you was exhausting. Especially when one of those people are the person you're in love with.
"Clarke, I know you're awake. You can open your eyes, we're alone." Lexa murmured into my ear. My heart went into overdrive, and I panicked wondering what gave me away. I slowly opened my eyes to see a very wearly Lexa peering into my eyes.
I instinctively put my hand to her face, and she gave me a sly smile.
The connection between us was something short of magic. It touched me in places I couldn't explain, and I knew I could spend every waking moment beside her, loving her. She was magic, and to look into her eyes was looking at heavens gates.
"How did you know?" I struggled to speak, not realizing the drugs made me dry-mouthed. My lips cracked and Lexa reached over to grab her cup. Her smile didn't leave her face, and it spread to mine so easily. She lifted my head and slowly poured the cool liquid into my mouth. I knew I shouldn't drink with the drugs, but I didn't care. It felt amazing to be somewhat more alert.
"I've been watching you for a week Clarke. I know when you come to the surface of consciousness. You roll your eyes and mumble odd things I can rarely decipher. You're truly a puzzle I enjoy." She spoke with adoration, and it just made me want to hold her. I dug my fingers into her hair, and pulled her closer. I needed to kiss this beautiful woman before me.
Taken back, she let out a low breath and looked at me with devilish eyes. I had given her something she craved, and like an addict she wanted more. I smiled, knowing I had made this woman of such power weak. It was warming, and sexy.
"How are things, how is the camp? My mother sounded strained, what-" Lexa cut me off with her finger on my lips. Her earthly smell wafted gently through the air. I held it in my nose for a moment, wondering if when I went to sleep I'd never smell it again. It smelt of home, and I was afraid to lose it. Afraid that showing Lexa love would end badly.
As if Lexa could read the fear on my face, she rubbed my cheek and answered my fears head on.
"The camp is fine, your people are safe, they are surviving well considering. As for mine, they grow restless of the commander whom isn't present. I must leave shortly to TonDC. I am a Commander Clarke, and as much as I love you, I must also serve my people. Delegating is my strong suit, but when it comes to you, I want nothing more then to step down and spend every waking and breathing moment with you. But as you know this is not me, and I know this. I was born to lead my people. I told you it takes as long as it takes, and when you are well enough I will come back and take you to Polis.. Only if that is what you truly wish Clarke. Do not get caught up into need, or lust. If your heart truly sings for me, I will answer your every call. Take this time to rest, get well and please, don't be rash. I once said love was weakness, and that remains true to this day. I felt so weak this past week, unable to protect you. The one thing I can protect you from is myself. As much as I yearn to be your heart keeper, I must warn you, I am cold. I am not a loving type, filled with care and happiness. I can not be as kind as you think I am. I am frightful I will not measure up to your expectations." Lexa shifted uncomfortable. I was stunned of her confession, and I slowly took it in, not wanting to answer right away out of shock. I wanted it to sink in, and really solidify my answer.
I looked into her eyes, and saw a swirl of emotions I couldn't name. I knew she was a Commander. I knew she was a grounder, and her traditions were different from mine. I knew she betrayed me, and I knew she loved me. I knew she was cold, but I knew she had a warm and loving side. I knew she had to be strong for her people, and I knew it killed her to be authoritative to me. I knew we would argue a lot, and I knew it would be hard. Hell sometimes I was going to wonder why the hell I chose her as my as she called it "heart keeper". I knew a lot of cons, and a lot of pros but the one I couldn't shake was that I loved her. Some might say I was being foolish, but when it comes to love, you never know. All you can do is blindly accept whatever comes your way. You just have to say yes.
"Lexa." I said firmly, and she nodded, looking hurt. I took a breath before saying what I had to say, and Lexa took it wrong. I could tell she thought I was going to tell her to leave. As if I could leave the beautiful woman who sat beside me. Regardless of what the past held, and regardless of what laid in our future, I loved her, and love was enough.
"Lexa" I said again, softer. She cocked her head, confused, but kept quiet. "I love you." I said with a smile. Lexa relaxed her rigid shoulders and grinned. She kissed my lips with such need, and vulnerability it screamed love. She trusted me, and I trusted her. If anyone asked me what magic was, I would say Lexa.
She raised to her feet, the grin remaining on her face and kissed my forehead and my lips a million time before heading to the door. She stopped at the door and just watched me for a moment. I smiled, heart acheing at the beautiful moment I would never forget.
"Just because we can live without something, it doesn't mean we have to Clarke." She said with adoration, and subtle joy.
"Come get me as fast as your horse can gallop." I closed my eyes, and for the first time, was excited to sleep and get better.