Here is another chapter for all of you, you're the best, really.

It makes me so happy when I read all of your reviews, I can't even begin to describe it, thanks to everyone who left reviews, know that you're the best.

I hope everyone had a Merry Chrstmas or whatever holiday you celebrated (and if you didn't celebrate anything, I hope at least you had a good day).

This will be the last chapter of the year... not! I will be posting another chapter right after this one, so don't worry, there's still Fun&games to spare!

Disclaimer: The creator and owner of Black Butler is Yana Toboso. I'm not Yana Toboso. Draw conclusions.

The Gamer: Fun and Games

Everything is terrible.

"Waaaah! 'Takeeeer! Stop laughing and help meeeee!"
"He he he he~ can't do, little Lia~ hi hi hi~ he he he~"

I kept running around like a headless chicken, while Undertaker rolled around the floor, laughing like a madman.

Everything perfectly normal.

Except for the fact that I was running because I was being chased by three gnomes with pickaxes and shovels, and Undertaker was being an unhelpful bastard by laughing at me.

I swear, tonight he's eating his own bowels, because I'm not cooking for him. Stupid old man.

"Go bald stupid old man!" I should have left him alone with his 'guests'. I shouldn't have badgered him to come with me.

Far from being offended, he started laughing harder. Grr... One day I'll get a pair of scissors.
We will see who laughs then.

I will strangle him with his own hair. Then I will sew myself a scarf with it.

I ran to where Undertaker was laid on the floor, twitching from the aftermath of his attack of laughter.
Jumping over him, I successfully put him between the Dwarfs and myself. That's what you get for being an old man.

I was half prepared for the Gnomes... Dwarfs, to ignore him completely and keep pursuing me. Karma didn't like me very much.
Luckily, the Dwarfs decided that the laughing idiot that was helpless on the floor was a better prey than a cowardly running girl, and decided to attack him instead.

Not even five seconds later there weren't any more Dwarfs in the vicinity.

'You have gained 150 exp points.'
'Your Level has increased by one.'
'You have gained 150 exp points.'
'You have gained 150 exp points.'

We found in the party menu that it was possible to share the experience we got from the monsters. Half the usual experience we got went to him, the other half to me. Even if one of us (read: me) didn't fight.

We also found out he didn't have an inventory, nor could he look at his Skills.

Ah! Last time I leveled up I forgot to assign the points I got, so now I had ten points without distributing, where could I put them?

"What's that~?"
"I leveled up."
"So you're stronger~?"
"Just a little."
"And what are those~?"
"The points I have to assign."

For that, I got a very blank expression.

"Every time I level up I am given five points, I can distribute those points however I want. If I put them in Strength, I will be able to... throw things farther, for example."
"And the effect is immediate? No training~?"
"Yes, it's instant. And with no training. Although... I guess if I did train I would gain points in a particular stat, without needing to level up..." It would be like reading a book, right? From books I got Intelligence and Wisdom without leveling up.
"Then why not train~?"
I looked at him.

Because I didn't have anyone to train me.

"Are you offering?"
"What am I offering~?"
I drilled my stare into the side of his face, half covered by his hair.
"Are you?"
"Maybe~"

I looked at him starry eyed.
"For real?"
"No"

I dropped to the floor, bawling my eyes out. I should have known.

"He he he~ joking~ joking~, of course I can train you~ wouldn't want to lose you to a midget~"
I pouted. "For starters they were Dwarfs and they were three. I was outnumbered"
"He he he~ of course~"
"Stop laughing."
"I'm not laughing~"
"Yes you are"
"No, I'm not~"
"Yes you are."
"What makes you think I'm laughing~?"
"You are drooling and shaking." And he was barely keeping it together.

Lately I had noticed that, whenever he started laughing hysterically, he would start drooling. It was disgusting.
"Stay away from me"
"He he he~ why is that ~?"

He crept closer. Predatory smirk on his face.

I ran.

Sadly I didn't get very far, as I got tackled to the ground and used as a rag to clean his face off. Absolutely disgusting.

"Noooo! Come on! That's not fair!"
He probably would have answered with a "life is not fair", but he got interrupted by a tree.

Yes. He got interrupted by a tree.

Well, it wasn't really a tree.

'Name: Ent
Level: 16
Health: 154 Hp
Mana: 0Mp

Str: 8
Vit: 40
Dex: 6
Int: 1
Wis: 10
Luck: 15

A sentient, giant tree, protector of the forest, will attack anyone who threatens the forest. Weak against fire and cutting weapons. Resistant against water and Blunt Weapons.'

"I don't think we have fire, do we?"
Undertaker glanced at me. "We're in a forest, dear~. I don't think fire is our smartest option."

Then I was pretty useless against this... Ent.

"Uh... then maybe we should..." turn around?
The tree made a big show of being a rude ass, because it didn't wait for me to finish talking. Instead it tried to impale us with one of its branches.

Instead it got cut in half.

'You have gained 850 exp points.'

Undertaker smirked at my fish face, bopped me on the forehead, and turned around, not waiting for me to catch up or understand what just happened.

Undertaker materialized a Scythe out of literally NOWHERE, and cut a tree three times as big as his scythe, which was bigger than him.

And damn, it was a scary scythe. From the three seconds glance I got, I saw it had the shape of a skeleton. Enough to know that it was as spooky as the rest of Undertaker.

"Hey, what was that!?"

"He he he~ looks like I leveled up too~"
"Where did that thing even come from?!"
"Where should I put these points~? Maybe in strength~? Or Luck~?"
"Heeey... I'm right here! Stop ignoring meee..."
"Of course, I could always put them in Wisdom~. Or maybe Intelligence would be a better option~?"
I threw myself at him. "Nyaaaa~". He took my attack without flinching, but did turn to me with an amused expression.
"What was that~?"

'Your [Charm] leveled up by one.'

...

"Nothing..."
"If my ears were not deceiving me, I could have sworn I heard you say: 'Nya~'"
"Your ears are deceiving you, old man, you need to get those ears checked out."
"No, no~ I'm quite sure I heard a 'Nya~'".
"It wasn't me, stop making things up."
"Are you sure you didn't say 'Nya', dear~?"
"It was a war cry, it wasn't a 'Nya', and stop saying 'Nya', nya, we're not cats."
"You said 'Nya' again~."
"No I didn't."
"Your words are not adding up, dear~"
"Hey, look, you can level up your Stats, while I level up mine. Forget about it."
"He he he, as you wish~"

Ignoring the snickering old man, I took a look at my Stats.

'[Name]: Dalia
[Title]: Undertaker's little pet
[Race]: Human
Lvl 15
Exp: 83% (1250 Exp)
Hp: 79 Hp
Mp: 56 Mp

Strength: 5
Vitality: 22 (2+20)
Dexterity: 10 (10+0)
Intelligence: 23
Wisdom: 21
Luck: 15

Points: 10'

I have to level up my strength.
It's unacceptable that I had to ask Undertaker to open up the cookie jar every time I want some cookies.
And... uh... maybe Intelligence.
Five to strength, two to Intelligence, to leave it at a rounded number of 25.

The three other points... probably wisdom, to try to get closer to that even number.
Even if it would be smarter to put them in Dexterity.

Uh... maybe I will save them for later...
Yeah, good idea.

I looked at my side, where I could feel Undertaker's stare boring into me, judging.
"What"
"Hi hi hi~ I know what you're doing ~"

Alright, very creepy, please stop.

"It's my Stats, let me screw them however I want to."
His eyes widened, and started shaking.

... He... hadn't been offended by that, had he?
Was he crying?

"Ha ha ha ha ha!"
Sigh... of course not.

That's what I get for worrying about him.

"Let's just... go look for something else..."
"What for~?"
"Grinding."

"..."

"It's repeatedly doing an action, to level it up."
"Only a fool does the same action over and over, trying to get a different result."
"Well, get prepared to be a fool then, because we're doing exactly that."

How long has it been since I got here?
A few months at the very least...

"Hey... what time is it?"
"It's half past ten. Hi hi hi~ tired already~?"
"Not that. I meant day, month and year."
"What did you do last night~? I hope you didn't touch my brandy~?"
"Keep your dirty alcohol, you drunkard."
"Aww~ so cruel~ when have you seen me drunk~?"
"I don't need to, I saw the diminishing reserves, now answer my question."
"It's 13th of March of 1883, you have been here since early January."

So... three months. It seems like time flew out of the window.

Three months and I'm not any closer to finding out how I got here than the first day.

Three months without Kim, without Kala.

Sigh.

"You need to put your whole body into it, dear~"
I did as asked.

And fell.

"...Well, I did ask for that, but you don't need to throw YOURSELF into the swing~. You are attacking an enemy, not jumping to hug me~" He managed to say all of that while still laughing.

Just make up your mind, old man, you are the one who is supposed to know what he's doing.

"Alright, I will attack now~"
"What- NO!"
I put the stick I was using for practice between me and the approaching Undertaker, closing my eyes.

He stopped right in front of me.
And started laughing.

"My dear~, this is supposed to be a weapon~ hi hi hi~ to defend yourself~. Not a sacrifice~ hi hi hi~ he he he~."

You are the one who didn't give me any warning! Grr...
I'm not good at this...

"I want cookies..." and ice cream...
"You can get cookies after you use your sacrificial stick to defend yourself~ hi hi"

With his own wooden stick in hand, he slowly, as in snail-pace slowly, made a swing.
I put my wooden sacrifice in the path of the "swing".

Clack

"Oh... I guess it is not... AH-!"
-1 Hp

Ouch.
Undertaker unexpectedly hit me on the head.

"What was that, dear~" oh-oh, he looks cross. I can see a vein throbbing on his forehead and everything.

"Uh..."
"If I had put any force in any of those swings your sotoba would have flown out of your hands~. Show me your grip."

Apparently my grip was all wrong, because he started messing with where my hands should go.

I guess I'm not getting my cookie, am I?

We had somehow reached an agreement. In which one day a week, we would go to a Dungeon and level up like madmen, or grind our skills like... uh I don't know, idiots?

Then, the next week, one day would be reserved to practice my... everything, in the traditional way.
Train. One day was reserved for old fashioned training at the hands of a certain old man.
Train made it sound less like the beating it was, and more like an equal-grounded sparring.
The word 'Train' at least let me save a little of my pride.
If I had any.

"Don't stand like a scarecrow, my dear~, put one leg behind the other~. Eh... no. Not like that... Alright, that is slightly better~"

"I feel like I'm about to lay an egg."
"He he he~ because you're doing it wrong."

I can already feel myself dying.

Some people say Honesty was a virtue.

I usually was honest. Mainly because I didn't like lying.

So, right now, I feel compelled to be completely honest.

I had forgotten all about Mr. Dimwit.

I know I shouldn't.
But I did.

He was... like a stupid duckling.
Cute, not particularly bright, and unlike the ugly duckling, the chances of Mr. Dimwit actually growing a brain were slim to none.

So I was surprised when I found him sprawled out in our backyard, not that far from Hercules.

He looked like he crawled out of a trash can. Ruffled up, dirty, and with a smell so horrendous, that if he bathed in the river Thames, he could come out smelling better.

And believe me, in this time, the Thames is not a place where you want to bathe.
Even if according to Undertaker, the river had smelled even worse not even fifty years before.

I liked to consider myself a fairly rational human being. As such I did the rational thing and ignored him completely.

If I can't see him, he can't bother me.

Surprisingly, the motto seemed to hold true, as I didn't get bothered at all, while I brushed Hercules and gave him more food.

I even got inside without being acknowledged at all.

Maybe he was sleeping.

Or maybe that's because of the [I'm invisible!] Skill? If that is true, I have to say that it's the most useful skill I have yet.

I peeked into the basement and called out to Undertaker: "Mr. Dimwit is back!"
"Just ignore him, my dear~ He just wants attention, if you ignore him he will go away~".

I turned away from the stairs and peeked from the window. He was still outside, sprawled like a starfish, not moving at all.

Taking a page out of Undertaker's book, I ignored the man in our backyard, and started cooking.

I would need to go buy a few more things... or get Undertaker to go, as I got lost the moment I stepped out of the shop.

Last time I went shopping, I got lost and somehow got into a small misunderstanding, where a man thought I was his wife and Undertaker had to go rescue me.
The bastard had been following me, and knew I had been lost. He got a few good laughs out of that particular incident.

Mhhh... While I wait for the food to finish cooking, I can eat some cooki-
"Don't eat cookies before dinner, dear~ or you won't be hungry later~"
Fudge.

Those cookies would have to wait.

"Are you done?"
"Yes~" He touched my face from behind with his wet, cold hands.
"Ah! They are cold..."
"Your face is warm~"
"No, your hands are definitely freezing. And I hope you cleaned your hands" I casted a suspicious glance to his hands, they were still slightly damp, recently cleaned.
"Who do you take me for~? Of course I cleaned my hands~ I take my job very seriously~."
Undertaker? Serious?

Ha.
Never thought the day would come where I would hear both in the same sentence.

"Stop playing with my cheeks"
"Don't wanna~"

While looking at his hands I took notice of the ring he wore in his index finger. It was very beautiful, green, and somehow was far too classy compared to the rest of his usual getup.

I didn't comment.

"Hey~ did you eat all the chocolate~?" Of course I didn't comment, seeing as I got distracted by an incessant whining in my ear.
"What if I did?"
"Monster~. You didn't leave any for me~?"
"Did you leave any cookies yesterday for me?"

"..."

"Then there's your answer."
"So cruel~" I got a pair of arms constricting me from behind like a pair of boas.
"It's not cruelty, its justice."
"Bad little Lia~ Bad~" He attempted to tap my nose while hugging me from behind.
He almost tapped my eye.
"Watch out with those claws"
Said claws were immediately used to poke my cheeks, while I pouted.

I grumbled something about bald old men and cut a bit of the cheese I had left on the counter, shoving it into what I supposed was Undertaker's mouth.

Immediately, I was Undertaker-free.
I turned just enough to see I had smeared most of the cheese in Undertaker's cheek.
Serves him well. I snickered.

Now that he was occupied trying to get his tongue to lick the cheese out of his cheek, which was fairly difficult, I finished cooking our meal.

Sitting down in the two chairs next to the small table, we started eating, sometimes he would ask something about my ability, sometimes I asked if Mr. Dimwit was still in our backyard... you know, small talk.

I left Undertaker to the mercy of our uninvited "visitor", and went out to get tomorrow's breakfast.
The most important meal of the day, as Undertaker likes to say.

I, personally think the most important meal of the day is the one that has cookies in it, but what do I know.

It was less cold now, than when I had been prowling the streets, without a place to go to.

And I was now warm and nice, unlike then.

I still want to go back to the shop fast, just because it's warmer now doesn't mean I want to stay out in the cold.
And let's not forget it's getting dark, I don't want to be outside without Undertaker. It's dangerous.

"Isabella!"

That had sounded far closer than expected.
I turned around

Just to see black.