Author's Note: Here's that collaboration with luffykotheeevee I was talking about in the last chapter. It all started when she wanted her OC, Maeve, in the chapter. It ended with this crack parody of It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie. Yeah...
Disclaimer: luffykotheeeve owns Maeve and her personalities, I own the Capricorns and the Libras, and Eichiiro Oda owns the rest of the characters (except Dave Strider, since he is the property of Andrew Hussie).
"You did WHAT?!"
It was a normal week in December, and the Straw Hats, the Capricorns, the Libras, the Supernovas, the Shichibukai, the CP9, Ace, Maeve and her personalities, Vivi, Sabo, Shanks, Kaya, Garp, Sengoku, Nojiko, Smoker, Tashigi, and Yasopp received some shocking news when they arrived at the One Piece studios.
"I sold the One Piece studios. In true clichéd Christmas movie fashion, we've fallen on hard times," Odacchi explained.
"What the hell?! That doesn't make any sense! One Piece is WAY popular! You can't sell the studios!" Nami cried.
"Odacchi, you… You… You Pencil!" Maeve yelled. "Thanks, Jodie, for the insult."
"Pencil? Is this the best you can come up with?" Rubio asked Maeve. Odacchi sighed.
"However, if you can pay me an unspecified amount of cash by six o'clock on Christmas Eve, we stay in the studio and we don't have to share a studio with the cast of Bleach," Odacchi explained.
"Bleach got cancelled," Nojiko pointed out. Odacchi sighed.
"If you need me, I'm going to go lock myself in my house, make myself some waffles, and I'm going to go watch Mean Girls," Odacchi said before leaving the studio.
"Watch The Hunger Games! It's a better movie than Mean Girls!" Yuki-Rin called out to the director.
"Okay. Now we need someone hero-esque" Yukari said. Sanji shot up, eagerly twirling around the room.
"Oh! I can! I'm hero-esque!" He shouted, trying to catch the Captain of the Libra's attention.
"Yes! Someone strong!" Nami said.
"I can take out a single Pacifista by myself" Sanji interjected.
"Someone smart!" Aki said.
"I can say mellorine in twelve different languages!" The blond cook declared.
"This calls for-" Robin started. Sanji jumped to the middle of the room.
"FOR THE LOVE OF JIMMY THE BISCUIT HUNTER! PICK ME! PICK ME!" he shouted.
"CHOPPER! We need you to suit up! You must go rob Rudolph and teach him that blue noses are better than red ones! Take Bullet with you."
At the last words, Maeve pointed at her gray haired alias, who was currently eating fruitcake in the corner.
"Wait! How the H-E-Double hockey sticks did I get out here!" He shouted. Nami facepalmed.
"Maeve, it's not going to work," Nami said bluntly.
"Now what do we do?" Kazura asked everyone. Everyone thought this over for a moment.
"Let's get naked!" Franky suggested.
"No, Franky. We only agreed to do that to sell real estate," Spandam said. Everyone sweatdropped.
"I could speak at the Learning Annex –" Hancock suggested before she was cut off.
"No! Do not want!" About ten people (Stella-Rondo, Shanks, Kaku, Mihawk, Gareth, Kalifa, Vivi, Kaya, Sayuki, and Kaoru) cried.
"I could open up a second Grandpa Garp's Bauhaus Village," Garp suggested. Everyone else shuddered.
"No. Just no," Nami said.
"How about we put on a play? At least we won't be scarring people for life and/or getting sued for it," Usopp suggested. Nami snapped her fingers.
"That's a great idea, Usopp!" Nami said. Everyone began talking in agreement.
"Wait a second!" Kartik yelled. "What play are we going to perform?"
Usopp pondered Kartik's question, stroking his invisible Seneca Crane beard whilst thinking.
"Moulin Rouge."
Everyone blinked in unison.
"Okay…" Nami said slowly.
"Okay! I have decided! Since I hate all the roles... I shall be the director!" Maeve interjected.
"What? No way!" Nami cried.
"Come on, Nami! I have the absolutely perfect role for you!" Maeve pleaded.
"Really?" Nami asked with sparkles in her eyes. Maeve nodded her head and held up a script. Nami swiftly grabbed the pamphlet. A minute later, when Nami realized the person that the mortician had in mind, the orange haired woman promptly smacked the younger girl with the script.
"I am NOT playing the Duke! You can have whoever you want be the other parts! However, under no circumstances will I be playing the Duke!" Nami yelled.
"Okay! Okay, okay! I understand! A different role! Just stop beating up the director!" Maeve cried.
"Glad we agree," Nami said.
"Okay! Let's all get into place! We shall get that money, even if technically the Capricorns, the Libras, and I don't really need it. Well, I do know that if we bomb this, then I still can mooch off of Ren," Maeve explained.
Several nights later, it was the night of the play. Our favorite pirates were gathered backstage, wearing costumes that ranged from appropriate period attire (Kartik and Matsu), outrageous costumes (a pair of Fluttershy kigurumi pajamas for Garp), or their normal clothing (most of the Libras, Law, and Bonney).
"Alright, peeps! This is it!" Maeve announced.
"I look like I belong in Okama Disneyland, and it's not good," Kidd said. He wore a T-shirt that said "Hooters: Los Angeles", a pink, feather boa, leopard-print short-shorts, fishnet tights, and high-heeled ankle booties that showed off his red-painted toenails.
"Nonsense! You look like an awesome worker at Moulin Rouge!" Maeve said.
"Are you doing drugs?!" Kidd yelled. A cow mooed in the distance.
"Time to start the show!" Maeve said. "Jodie, be on your best behavior. Aoi, stay here and watch My Neighbor Totoro – It's for your own good. No, Bullet, don't eat those canned mushrooms! Leon, why didn't you tell Bullet about the canned mushrooms?!"
Nami – who was dressed in a chicken suit – turned to Luffy.
"Go tell the audience why they wasted twenty bucks on tickets and ten bucks on snacks and drinks," Nami told Luffy. With a grin, Luffy stepped out from behind the curtain and onto the stage.
"Hi, everybody!" Luffy said to the audience, which consisted mainly of characters from Gintama, Katekyo Hitman Reborn, Homestuck, The Hunger Games, Fairy Tail, and other One Piece characters that weren't going to be used in this oneshot.
"Hi, Dr. Nick!" The audience replied.
"Now, you're here to see a play. It's a funny play. So, turn off all electronic devices so you can see our play!" Luffy explained. Everyone in the audience turned off their electronic devices.
"I'm leaving my phone on for ironic purposes!" Dave Strider shouted from somewhere in the middle of the audience. Luffy smiled.
"And, now here's the show! Don't miss it!" Luffy said. Rhett walked up to Luffy, handed him a slip of paper, and walked away. "Oh! During the play, your car may be subject to various break-ins –"
Luffy was pulled off-stage by a cane. Maeve came out with a huge book titled A Dance With Dragons. Maeve then turned to one of the Arianne P.O.V. chapters and cleared her throat.
"Once, in a mystical land called Canada –" Maeve read from the book before she was cut off by somebody – Or was she?
"Finally, someone remembered me!" Canada from Hetalia yelled. The audience gasped.
"Wait, what?" Maeve cried. Luffy ran back onstage to whisper something to Maeve. A few seconds later, Luffy pulled a lemon from his vest and walked off-stage.
"Oops, sorry, folks. That's a typo. Let me start over... AOI, I TOLD YOU TO WATCH MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO... I KNOW YOU'VE SEEN IT A HUNDRED TIMES... FINE! JUST WATCH STRONG WORLD! WE NEED TO DO RESEARCH ON THAT ANYWAY! YES, WE WILL RAISE THAT MONEY! Ahem, Once, in a mystical land called... Meatland. There lived a young straw hat wearing teen named... LUFFY! I SAID YOU'RE THE NARRATOR! BESIDES, THE WORLD DOESN'T HAVE THAT MUCH MEAT!" Maeve yelled before she ran backstage. The sounds of somebody getting beaten up echoed across the theater, prompting the viewers to slowly get up. Then, the curtain rose, and everyone sat back down.
"Actually, this play is set in France, during a wild time known as 1899," Enlai narrated.
"It was so wild, people partied in windmills," Alto narrated.
"Like these guys…" Sanji narrated. The curtains opened, revealing Stella-Rondo, Garp, and Rubio standing around a bubbling cauldron, dressed as Flora, Fauna, and Merriwhether.
"Bubble, double, toil, and trouble..." Stella-Rondo, Garp, and Rubio chanted.
"Wait, why am I dressed as a fairy woman? What happened to my Fluttershy jammies?!" Garp cried.
"Yeah, why?" Rubio asked, not amused that he was cosplaying as a fairy.
"I don't care! Just finish the scene!" Stella-Rondo cried, concerned for her dignity.
"No! It's a question that must be answered!" Rubio cried before the three looked to Maeve for answers like she was Ask Jeeves.
"No reason..." Maeve said as she slowly hid a digital camera behind her back. The curtain fell as Rubio tried to get his picture from Maeve. Matsu walked out onto the stage, which was pretty much the same except for an extremely large box of donuts with a door cut out. The words above the door said, 'apartmant builedin'. Large stink lines floated up to the ceiling and our light producer (Enel) fell to the floor with x's in front of his eyes. Backstage…
"Okay, who was in charge of set?!" Maeve asked everyone.
"Leon and I," Zoro answered. He was dressed as a gypsy.
"Oh... You two did a good [Twinkies riding motorcycles on tacos] job!" Maeve said sarcastically.
"I know…" Zoro said with a sigh. Back onstage…
"Well, I'm finally here! I just know that my life will be way better here!" Matsu said as she skipped around like she was Mary Poppins.
"Seriously?" The audience asked as the rest of the Capricorns (save for Kartik and Karin) and the Libras crashed onto the stage from the ceiling. Backstage…
"My Lord.. She's going to die!" Jodie cried.
"How'd you get here?!" Zoro cried.
"Well, excuse me princess!" Jodie yelled before she flew away on Nyan Cat.
"That's MR. Princess to you!" Zoro yelled. Back with Matsu, she took several tentative steps towards the large 'building' before falling to the ground because of the smell.
"Sorry folks! We'll be back after we use the jaws of life to revive Christian... I mean.. Christina!" Luffy yelled as the curtains fell. Everyone in the audience sweatdropped.
After the play, which consisted of craziness such as using the Bed Intruder Song as a love song, the movie Inception being put on as a play-within-a-play (play-ception), and silly costumes…
"Okay, we did good! Now, Usopp, take this duffel bag to the bank so we can keep One Piece studios open! I kinda want to make it beyond the Baratie arc!" Maeve explained.
"Okay!" Usopp said as he grabbed the duffel bag and left. Five minutes later, Usopp arrived at the bank, and reached to open the bag. However, when he opened the bag, Bullet popped out of the bag.
"How did I get here?" Bullet asked, peeking out of the bag wearing the Sogeking mask.
"Well, when a man and a woman –" Usopp answered before Bullet cut him off.
"No! Do not want!" Bullet cried before he bitch-slapped Usopp and ran away. A few minutes later, a dejected Usopp arrived at the cast party at Chuck-E-Cheese.
"Bazinga!" Maeve yelled as she popped out from underneath several balls in the ball pit. "Oh, Usopp, why are you sad?"
"Looks like we're saying good-bye to One Piece studios," Usopp explained.
"Don't worry about it, Usopp! Wolfgang transferred the money electronically on his phone! We're fine!" Maeve said. Usopp smiled.
"Well, I guess I have nothing to be sad about. It's Christmas," Usopp said.
"Spoiler alert, I'm your Secret Santa," Daruma said as he handed a wrapped box to Usopp. Usopp looked to the gift, and to the greasy-haired, muscular, goatee-d, perpetually shirtless twenty-something.
"I need an adult!" Usopp screamed before he shoved the gift into Daruma's hands and ran away.
Ending Note: For starting this fanfic up again a week ago, I'm writing at a very good pace. It's not even December, and we already have four new chapters of this fic out. That's a new record.
Review if you want to see parodies of Christmas movies from Elf to It's a Wonderful Life to Tokyo Godfathers (That movie takes place during Christmas. It should count. -.-)