Maggie watched resignedly as a tense Alex made her way to the interview room. There were still fourteen women and girls – mostly girls, Maggie remembered, sadly – to be interviewed about their experiences with Tenkmab, and Alex was insisting on being present for each interview. As she had explained it to Maggie, she wanted to know all that she could find out about all that had taken place. She felt it was necessary to learn the full horrors, so that they could support Addie.
"Knowledge is power," Alex had said.
Maggie had nodded. She knew Alex was right. But she also knew the toll that this would take on Alex. Having to sit through hours of hearing the same story, told from slightly different angles, again and again, would be horribly traumatic for anybody. But for somebody as empathetic at Alex, who loved Addie with all her heart, it would be akin to torture.
Alex turned and gave a small smile to Maggie as she reached the door of the interview room. She knew what this was doing to Maggie too. She placed a hand briefly over her heart, their shorthand for "I love you," and saw Maggie return the gesture.
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Kate swung Addie in the air, smiling as the child giggled in delight. "Did'ja have a good day at school?" she asked the girl as she set her back down.
Addie nodded. "We talked about the most exciting thing we have ever done. Guess what I told them about?"
Kate pretended to ponder. "When you put peanut butter on your toast!" she teased.
"No!" Addie grinned.
"When your Mama asked you to pass her the salt?"
"No silly!" Addie was beside herself with excitement.
"Go on. You're going to have to tell me," Kate said.
"It was when Mama took us flying," Addie's smile was wide. "It was the best day ever!"
Kate smiled back at her. "That was a pretty great day, wasn't it?"
"Mama says we can go again soon, in the vacation. Will you come with us again?"
"I'd love to," Kate took her by the hand. "Now I happen to know that your Mama is tied up all afternoon here. But your Auntie Kara is in the training room, and she said she wants to have a hug before you go home with Mommy."
"Is Mama not coming home with us?" Addie looked disconcerted.
"She'll come home later," Kate promised, as she led her down the corridor. "When her meetings are all over."
Addie nodded. She knew Alex would get back to them as soon as she could.
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Maggie heard the key in the lock, and looked at her watch. 2248hrs. Alex had been at work since 0700hrs, and had been in the victim interviews since 1000hrs. She looked up and saw the drawn look on Alex's face. She went over and took her in her arms and just held tight.
Maggie could feel Alex starting to relax in her grip.
Eventually, Alex drew back. She gave a grateful smile to Maggie. "I missed the Bug, huh?"
Maggie nodded. "She drew you a picture. Said to tell you she loves you."
Alex swallowed. She had spent the day listening to young women, and girls, talking in detail about the horrors that they had experienced – all of which Addie had either shared or witnessed. So, although she had hated her day, she knew that it was worth it. She wanted to understand everything about Addie's history. She also wanted to be able to answer any questions Addie might have in the future. At the moment, she refused to talk about it, but that might change one day, and Alex wanted to do the most she could to help her.
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Alex slept fitfully, but she made sure she was up in time the next morning to spend an hour with Addie before they both took her to pre-school. Alex knew that the feeling of Addie's little arms about her neck as they hugged goodbye would be enough to keep her strong for the rest of the day. And by Friday, it should all be over, if the interviews ran to time, or nearly to time. As she got out of the car, Maggie pressed a paper bag into her hand. "Bagels," Maggie said. "I know you didn't eat breakfast."
Alex kissed her softly. The thought of food turned her stomach, but Maggie didn't need to know that.
Maggie was surprised to see Alex coming into her small office at 1300hrs. She had assumed she would be tied up all day. Alex looked like crap; her face was pale and drawn, and the haunted look in her eyes seemed even worse. But Alex was pretending everything was fine, so Maggie would go along with it. If Alex was going to crack, she sure as hell wouldn't want to do it at the DEO. "We're taking an hour out," Alex explained. "I thought maybe you'd like another go in the flight simulator?"
"You don't have to do that," Maggie demurred. "Why not just get some sandwiches, and we'll sit here, and you can relax."
"Already ate," Alex answered too quickly. "Anyway, I want to see what sort of progress you are making."
Maggie looked at her closely. Alex was deflecting, as she often did. Maybe this was what she wanted. Maybe it would do her good. "If you're sure," she tried to keep the doubt out of her mind. She also had to stop herself from stopping Alex as she helped herself to more coffee. Only three more days of this, and then it would be over. It would also be the weekend, and Alex could let her guard down.
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By Friday morning, Alex was a wreck. They could all see it, but nobody dared to say anything. Maggie kept looking at her watch all day, hating that she had to pick up Addie from pre-school without knowing when Alex would be home. She checked with J'onn, and this afternoon's interview was definitely the last.
When Alex made it home just before 1900hrs that night, Maggie breathed a sigh of relief. Alex had on a forced smile as she greeted Addie, who had run right to her and demanded a hug. Maggie watched in wonder when Alex insisted on doing all the nighttime routine herself, bathing Addie, reading her stories, putting her to bed.
When Alex came back downstairs after settling Addie, she saw Maggie placing plates of pasta on the table. Maggie was amazing. She knew she had been a bear to live with over the past few days, and Maggie had never criticized, never cajoled. Never asked her to talk when she didn't want to. Maggie was just there, loving her, holding her, being on her side. "This looks great," she tried to inject enthusiasm into her voice. That was another thing Maggie hadn't called her out on. She always lost her appetite when she was stressed, and Maggie hadn't made her feel bad. So she tried to eat as much as she could, and smiled at Maggie when she cleared away the half-full plate at the end.
"Na uh," Maggie swatted her away as she tried to help cleaning up. "Not today. Tomorrow, you can clean up if you want to. Tonight, you're going to let me take care of you, for once." Maggie kissed her softly. "You've put everyone else first this week. Tonight is about you."
Alex turned away, quickly blinking away her tears. Maggie pretended not to notice.
"You go warm up that couch for us," Maggie kept her voice light. Even though it was a warm night, she had lit the fire. She knew how much Alex liked fire, how she could get lost just staring at the flickering of the flames.
Ten minutes later, Maggie went over to join Alex, who had stretched out on the couch. She insinuated herself underneath her, so that Alex's head rested in her lap. She started to run her hand through her hair. Alex had such soft hair. "I'm here. If you want to talk," Maggie said, so quietly Alex wasn't sure she had spoken.
Alex nodded. "Not tonight," her voice cracked.
"Okay babe. Whatever you need," Maggie continued her rhythmic stroking.
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Maggie roused Alex after a couple of hours and led her to bed. Alex was docile, compliant, happy to let Maggie take charge. She had finally learned to allow herself to be vulnerable with Maggie, and Maggie knew what a compliment it was. She knew nobody else ever saw Alex like this. Alex had always felt the need to be strong, to be responsible. Even with Kara, she hated to show any weakness. But with Maggie, she felt safe. She had found it difficult to start with, to open up, to admit to any frailty. But when she realized she wasn't going to scare Maggie away, she felt more comfortable letting her see every side of her.
So Alex let Maggie tuck her into bed and, when Maggie slid in next to her, Alex turned and buried herself in Maggie's front. Alex knew she was home, and that she was safe. She could blot out all the terrible things that she had heard during the week. She knew she would have to process them one day soon, so that she would be able to answer all of Addie's questions in the future. But right now, she just needed her family, and nobody was more family to her than Maggie.
Alex was out cold for nearly two hours, the exhaustion finally catching up with her. But then she started to shift in her sleep. When the mumbling started, Maggie woke, and she tried to soothe Alex. But her girlfriend was still asleep, and she wasn't responding to her. Maggie took Alex's right hand and pressed it over her own heart, and Alex stilled. It was a trick Maggie had learned early in their relationship. But Maggie hadn't long fallen back to sleep when she was woken by a shout, and by Alex's thrashing form as she tried to escape the quilt, her agitation increasing as her leg caught in the fabric. "No!" Alex screamed, batting away Maggie's hands as she tried to help her. "Addie! Let her be. Just let me..." she startled awake as Maggie grabbed her firmly by the shoulders.
Alex turned, fear in her eyes, and then she saw Maggie's face. And then the dam burst.
Maggie held Alex as she lost control. This was like nothing Maggie had ever encountered before. Huge, gasping sobs, wracking her entire body. Alex tried to talk, but she couldn't formulate words. Her breathing quickened, and she started to panic. Why could she not breathe? Why was there suddenly no air in the room? And then she felt her hand being pulled to Maggie's chest.
"Feel my heart," Maggie's voice was soft. "Just feel me. I'm here. With you. Can you feel me breathing? Try and breathe with me, babe. This will pass. I swear to you. You need to slow it down. Breathe in. Out," Maggie tried not to panic as Alex's shuddering breathing seemed to fill the room. She had never been this bad before. "It'll be over soon. Hey, Alex. You're safe. We're all safe. Addie's safe," she ran her hand up and down her sweat-soaked back. "It's all over now. That's it. In. Out. With me, babe. Stay with me. I've got you. I'm not going anywhere."
Maggie didn't know what to do, but she instinctively knew that she was all Alex needed. She briefly considered calling Kara, who could be there in seconds, but as she felt Alex start to stabilize, she knew she wouldn't want Kara to be involved. Kara would probably want to take Alex to the hospital, or the DEO, and then it would go on her record. This was just a natural reaction to the trauma of the past week, and of the months worrying about Addie.
Alex's breathing finally slowed. She clung to Maggie like a drowning person would cling to a liferaft. Maggie knew the best thing she could do was to stay calm, and to maintain physical contact.
After what seemed like an age, Alex pulled back slightly. "M'sorry," she croaked.
Maggie smiled lovingly at her. She reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear, and frowned when she felt how damp it was. Alex was drenched, the sweat had soaked through her pajamas. Within minutes, Maggie had eased Alex out of her pajamas, wiped her down with a warm washcloth, and re-dressed her in her favorite boxers and a loose tee. Alex was barely aware of it even happening, but she did feel better to be warm and dry. Her head was pounding, something Maggie somehow knew without having to be told. "I'm gonna get you some Advil and a bottle of water. Be right back," Maggie guided her down to the mattress.
Maggie sprinted downstairs to retrieve a bottle of water from the fridge. When she came back upstairs, she noticed a light under Addie's door. Addie. Of course. They had not been quiet, and Alex's cries of distress had reverberated throughout the whole house. Maggie opened the door, and saw and anxious-looking Addie sitting on the bed. "Hey, little one," Maggie said quietly. Her heart broke when she saw the tears in Addie's eyes.
"Is Mama okay?" Addie wanted to know.
Maggie sat on the bed, and pulled her into a hug. "Mama's okay now," she told her. "She had a bad dream. It was a real nasty one."
"Is she sick?"
"No, baby. She's not sick. She just got scared in her dream. She's feeling better now. But I know what would make it all better for her. You want to come give her a hug?"
Addie nodded, and pressed her face to Maggie's front. Maggie lifted her up, and carried her and the water bottle back to their bedroom.
"I got someone here to see you," Maggie said quietly.
Alex turned in the bed and sat up. Her eyes filled with tears. She held out her arms, and Maggie lowered the child into them. Alex rocked Addie in her arms, her own heart filling as she felt the warm little body press against her. "Baby girl," she whispered. "You're okay. You're okay." Her heart contracted when she felt the scarring on Addie's back through the child's thin pajamas. But it was over now. Addie was going to have a good life. They would make sure of it.
Maggie got Alex to take the Advil and to take a few gulps of the water. She helped them both lie down, and within minutes, Alex and Addie were asleep, still entangled in each other's arms. Maggie lay down next to them, and smiled as Alex snuggled against her in her sleep.
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Maggie smiled as she came back into the bedroom the next morning, bearing a tray with coffee – decaffeinated, though she wouldn't tell Alex that – orange juice for Addie and a plate of muffins. There was also an open enveloped next to the plate.
Alex stirred and opened one eye. "Hey, you," she said, softly.
Maggie leant down and kissed her softly. She reached over to the nightstand and passed Alex her glasses. "Something came in the mail," she couldn't keep the smile from her face.
Alex looked intrigued. She donned her glasses and reached out for the envelope. Her face split into a wide grin. "The adoption," she whispered.
Maggie nodded. "We've got a court date. They're going to approve it. She's gonna be ours," her voice cracked.
Alex rubbed her hand across Addie's shoulders. Addie mumbled, and turned into Alex's side.
"She's definitely your daughter," Maggie teased. It was a running joke. When she needed to, Alex could wake in an instant – she could be dressed and out of the house in under two minutes. But when she didn't need to, she did not like to be woken. Addie was the same.
"Hey, Bug," Alex whispered.
Addie blinked. "Mama?"
Alex hauled her into her lap. "Come look at this Bug," she knew Addie was good at reading, but she wasn't sure how good. "Do you know what this means?"
Addie looked at the piece of paper. She stared up at Alex, and then at Maggie.
Maggie joined them on the bed and drew them both into a big hug. "Next week, we're going to go to the court. And then we're going to sign some papers. And then, Addison Webb, you are going to be our daughter. Legally. And nobody can ever say otherwise."
"For ever?" Addie couldn't quite believe her ears.
"For ever and ever and ever," Maggie said.