Group of random children: FIRE!
Jack: FIRE! I'm going to spin around in a circle with this fire, that's a great idea, and then THROW IT INTO THE SEA.
Random children: AHHALKEJA. YAAAY. DLAKJL;E.
Random child fifty-seven: MARCO.
AND THEN NOBODY SAID POLO AND HE WAS SAD.
Roger: I am spinning this small stick of flame rather quickly and looking menacingly into the camera.
Nightkill: You know, once his savage paint covers up the bags under his eyes, his looks become less creepy and more 'Aww! Cute wittle savage'-like.
Roger: I PROVE YOU WRONG WITH THIS DISTURBING FACE.
Nightkill: ...Creepy look fifteen.
Roger: KILL. THE. BEAST.
Maurice: Kill the beast!
That-Harold-Kid: Kill the beast! Cut her throat! Bash her in!
That-Harold-Kid: *is moving his head all funny*
Everybody: Kill the beast! Cut her throat! Bash her in!
AND THIS GOES ON FOR A LONG LONG TIME
Roger: I AM HAVING FUN. CAN'T YOU SEE FROM THE DISTURBING SLIGHTLY SLASHER SMILE.
Nightkill: Creepy look sixteen.
Ralph: I look slightly brainwashed. MUST. KILL. BEAST. MUST. SLIT. THROAT. MUST. BASH. IN.
Roger: KILL THE BEAST! YEAHHHHH!
Nightkill: There's a lot of Roger in this part.
Random children fifty-eight: *runs away screaming*
Roger: I'm having fun with this pointy stick. Oooh. *waves stick around and stabs at camera*
Jack: There had been far too little Jack. RANDOM JACK APPEARANCE.
Ralph: I am getting into this. Yay savagery!
Roger: Mwahahahaha...
Nightkill: Creepy look seventeen.
Several random children: *are running around and screaming*
Random child fifty-nine: *sticks his head in camera view, screams, and runs away*
Simon: I'm stumbling down the mountain, the mountain, the mountain. I'm stumbling down the mountain... because I'm stupid.
ABRUPT SCENE CHANGE TO SEVERAL DISTURBING SHOTS OF ROGER
Roger: Zoom out. ZOOM OUT AWAY FROM MY FACE. GET BACK, I SAY! BACK! BACK!
Random children: KILL THE BEAST LAKJLKA CUT HIS THROAT SCREAM BASH HIM IN SEVERAL WEIRD NOISES ARE MADE
Roger: Look!
All noises: *cease*
Roger: The beast!
Nightkill: You know, I thought it was Jack that said that for the majority of the times I've watched the movie. Damn Roger and his ever-changing voice…
Simon: I'm just wandering around, doo doo doo... hey, people with spears! I think I'll go toward them.
Savages: AHHHH!
Simon: AHHHH!
Simon Fangirls: ...We have no reason to live. Well, we can move on to loving Piggy. It would just be mean to kill him, right? Nobody would kill Piggy, right?
Roger: The slasher grin returns.
Simon- er, Piggy Fangirls: ...We hate our inability to choose characters that don't die.
Roger: Hey, the slasher grin actually did return! DIE! DIE! DIE SIMON- ER, BEAST, DIE!
Random children: WOOHOO! WE'RE KILLING THE BEAST!
Roger: KILL. KILL.
Random child sixty: KILL KILL KILL.
Simon's Body: *is floating in the water*
Sad music: *begins to play*
Simon fangirls: Screw Piggy, we're committing suicide.
Peter Brooks: If we just pull his body out of camera slowly, nobody will notice... no, no Simon, don't breathe, we're making this realistic... crap, he just rolled onto his stomach. Well, it's 1963, we can get away from anything.
NOT VERY ABRUPT SCENE CHANGE WITH SPARKLY WATER FOR ABOUT TEN MINUTES
Piggy: I'm moving very slowly. I'm probably sore from... um... did I participate in the dance last night? Ralph was all zombie-like, Jack did a bunch of stuff, half of the dance was Roger... Simon died... did I just sit at the outskirts or something? Well, enough contemplating life, time to clean up my glasses. Hey, look, it's Ralph! I should put on my glasses so I can see him better- OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE.
Ralph: Shut. Up. So. Are you the only one that hasn't betrayed me?
Piggy: Weeelll... there are a few littleuns...
Ralph: Littleuns aren't human.
Piggy: Samneric. I think they're collecting wood because, you know, that's the only thing they do for us is the fire.
Ralph: That's it? What about Maurice? Bill? Robert? Roger? Jack? Simon?
Piggy: Savage, who?, savage, demon, chief savage dude, dead.
Ralph: Piggy.
Piggy: *totally ignores him*
Ralph: I said, PIGGY.
Piggy: Oh, what?
Ralph: Simon's dead. That was murder.
Piggy: *is immediately defensive* NO. NO. THAT WASN'T MURDER. YOU KNOW WHAT? SHUT UP. STOP RUINING MY LIFE. AND MY SELF-ESTEEM. SHUT UP. JUST STOP.
Ralph: O.O
Piggy: Besides, it was dark. And Roger was being weird. We were scared. There was thunder and lightning and rain that didn't really affect the fire at all. It wasn't... um..
Ralph: OH PIGGY.
Slash fans: Simon's dead. Ralph x Piggy is sofreakingcanon.
Piggy: Hey, he's not telling me to shut up! I'll continue! It was an accident, anyway. I'm sure they didn't mean to stab a Simon-like figure. Besides, he was freaking insane.
Ralph: ...I want to go home, now.
ABRUPT SCENE CHANGE
Random child sixty-one: CLOTHES ARE FOR THE- OW! Ow. Ow. I can apparently say ow in three different voices. That's weird. Time to change it up a bit. AH.
Jack: Hahahahaha. Wow. That was a creepy laugh.
Maurice: I'm funny. :D
Jack: So. We're gonna go hunting again tomorrow. FOR RALPH I mean what. That's not tomorrow. That's in a few days. We've gotta kill Fatty first- I mean, we'll leave another head for the beast.
IT IS SILENT
Jack: Well this is awkward... how about a few stay and guard? Yeah, we can work with that. Because... because the beast could come and try to- what is it The Only Ugly Kid in This Movie.
The Only Ugly Kid in This Movie: But... uh... didn't we... you know... cut his throat... bash him in?
Roger: Psh, no, that was Simon.
Nightkill: Upon further inspection it appears that Roger was not, in fact, the person whipping Random child sixty-one, and was in fact just standing creepily on a rock near Jack's head.
Jack: Roger. That's a secret. Nooooo. How could we? The beast is a freaking idea, it's not actually a physical being - I mean, the beast has many slaves to do its will. It just came in the form of... something... and it could come again.
THERE IS SILENCE
Jack: We can never have enough feasts. We'll have one tomorrow, too. And there will be another dance, and we can sacrifice a littleun.
Bill: CHIEF.
Jack: Ohmygodyoustillexist- I mean, what, Bill?
Bill: So, how are we going to get fire, exactly?
Jack: We'll steal the fat kid's glasses.
ABRUPT SCENE CHANGE
Piggy: I could've sworn it was day a second ago... but, anyway, we've gotta get rescued. I have a feeling that a giant rock is going to come crashing down on my head.
Ralph: Come on, be serious.
Piggy: I mean it. And even if I don't die, we'll all go insane, anyway. It's a lose-lose situation.
Ralph: Yeah... what are Samneric doing, I see an arm moving in a creepy way, that's just weird.
Sam: He's having weird dreams about Roger again. I'm trying to get him to wake up.
Ralph: Ah. Well, I'm going to go to sleep now, hold on, there are more pressing matters. Piggy, have you written a letter to your auntie lately.
Piggy: You're stupid. No, of course not. I'm on a fricking deserted island, how am I supposed to get a letter to my auntie? Besides, I don't know where she is, I don't have anything to write with, and there's no. Fricking. Postman.
Ralph: I find this incredibly hilarious.
Piggy: WTF.
Ralph: This is really funny-
Random voice in the distance: Piiiiggyyyy
Ralph: WTF IS THAT.
PRINCESSESOFIA~
Roger: Thank you-
Simon: Thank you for the hug. Dying was a very traumatic experience for me.
Ralph: Hey! What did I do?
HAMMSTERS~
Roger: …Okay?
The Lord of the Flies: I rather enjoyed the staring contest as well. Weirdly enough, people rarely take me up on my offer to have a staring contest with them. It's like they can't handle the extreme consequences…
AZULFOXX88~
Ralph: …but he's kind of insane, honestly – wait, hold on a minute, Piggy's death? He wasn't insane when he was talking about a big rock crashing down on his head!
Roger: You know, it kind of is. And you know what else? I think I won.
DRAGONWRITERZZ~
Ralph: It seems you're the only one that does.
Simon: I'm sorry, I just felt so bad that nobody ever wanted to have staring contests with him-her-whatever, so…
Dead Guy: Of course! :D
SEERSTELLA~
Simon: Thank you. :)