Thank you for the many reviews! Sorry I didn't stick to my update routine, but it was Christmas and I have a life. Hope you all had a wonderful holiday!
"Broken wings have a home tonight, no one is listening, no one is listening, when darkness fell on the streets last night, we never expected, we never expected this" - Broken Wings by Bleed the Dream
Edward inhaled sharply. Sure, his family and close friends knew the story, but he had never had to verbally tell it. He felt sharp pain in his chest as he went over the key points in his head. He wasn't even sure he could do it.
"Edward?" Bella asked. "Edward, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. You don't have to tell--"
"No!" he interrupted. "No. It's fine. I'll tell you." Should do me some good, Edward hoped. "Make yourself comfortable. This might last a while."
They moved all the way into Bella's room and sat side by side on her bed. They were both aware of how close they were, but knew that now wasn't the time to think about attractions.
"Where to start?" Edward asked himself.
"The beginning is usually good," Bella joked. Edward smiled and sighed before starting.
"My brother, Emmett, was really popular in high school. He was captain of the football team all four years. So when my sister Alice and I started high school, we were already well known. Therefore, we were invited to all of the parties. Though I didn't know it at the time, one of those parties would set the platform for...the rest of my life. You see, at a 'Christmas' party my freshman year (the only Christmasey thing about it was the spiked eggnog), I saw this girl. She was beautiful. She had slick blond hair, fair skin, and bright blue eyes. Pretty much the definition of what every horny 15-year-old boy fantasized about. Anyway, I stared at her all night, not realizing that she was staring back. She finally walked over to me and said, 'Something caught your eye, cutie pie?' I was totally embarrassed. I had no idea what to say. I was shy and lanky and awkward my freshman year. So instead of responding, I just nodded with my mouth wide open. A bug or two probably flew in, I'm sure. She laughed, a sound that was music to my ears at the time, and told me her name. Tanya.
"So I finally found my voice and we talked all night long. We discussed pretty much all there was to discuss. By the end of the night, being as young and naïve as I was, I was totally convinced that I was in love with her. And, being as young and naïve as she was, she was totally convinced she was in love with me, too. And that was it. We were a couple.
"All through high school, we were the 'it' couple. Everyone wanted to know us. Everyone wanted to be us. I filled out, quite well, if I do say so myself, and followed Emmett's footsteps in becoming captain of the football team. Believe it or not, Tanya was captain of the cheerleading team. It was totally cliché. We went to all the parties and social events, we got perfect grades. We were president and vice president of our class. Tanya was valedictorian. Everything was perfect in our world. We as individuals were perfect, our lives were perfect, and we as a couple were perfect. Everything was just perfect. That is, until it was time to graduate.
"We both wanted completely different things. Tanya wanted to move to New York to be on Broadway and I wanted to go to college near home for pre-med. I had always been close to my family, so I didn't want to move all the way to New York. Tanya didn't want her last memory to be of us fighting, so we agreed that we'd split up and, if neither of us was seeing anyone when our lives were settled, then we'd resume where we left off. So the day came for her to fly to New York. I went with her and her family to the airport to see her off. It broke my heart to see her crying, so I started crying too."
Bella's heart tinged at the thought of Edward hurting. He didn't deserve that.
"We hugged and kissed a billion times and then she left. And that was it."
"Edward," Bella whispered. "I'm so sorry. That must have been horrible."
Edward shook his head. "Haven't even gotten to the worst part, Bella." He continued.
"So life went on. I went to college near home, allowing me to still live with my parents and family. One day, as I was home alone and doing homework, I heard a knock at the door. It confused me because the house is back in the woods. This is the house, by the way. My family moved out since then and left it to me. Anyway, I went down to answer the door, and it was Tanya. I was completely taken back. I hadn't expected to ever see her again. She was just as beautiful as I had remembered. Her hair was still perfectly golden and smooth, her skin just as fine. But it wasn't her beauty that caught my eye. It was the baby.
"A little girl. She was one at the time. Tanya found out she was pregnant a month after she left for Broadway. I was so mad. I had no idea. She hadn't contacted me at all to let me know that I was a father. I stared at the baby for the longest time before looking back at Tanya. She was crying. She said she wasn't stable to raise the baby. She wasn't fit to be a mother and she didn't have the money. She asked me to take her. She knew I could support her and she knew my family would help raise her. I took the baby out of her arms immediately. That was my daughter. My daughter. Tanya kissed the baby, Hannah Jane, on the head and left without another word.
"I took Hannah inside and sat on the couch. I had no idea what to do. I was 19-years-old, full time student. How the hell was I supposed to raise a child? I had my family, yes, and I knew they would help as much as they could. But she was my daughter. I wanted to raise her. I wanted to see her grow and learn. My parents came home at right that moment and I explained everything to them. They said, as I expected them to, that they would help. I accepted that I'd need all the help I could get and life went on again."
Edward looked up to Bella with a smile, the biggest she'd ever seen on him, before continuing.
"I loved her so much. She was everything to me. Ever since that night, she slept with me in the bed. Every single night. My dad always told me how that wasn't good for the baby, that she should learn to sleep in her crib, but I didn't listen. I wanted her with me. The father in me was extremely protective. I had to know that she was close enough for me to touch in order to fall asleep. And everything was perfect again. My life was perfect, until Hannah was 2 ½.
"My dad and I started noticing that things were...off. She wasn't developing as fast as she should have been. We took her to the hospital and..."
Edward had to stop. His voice had started to crack as tears filled his eyes. Bella's own eyes filled with tears. Please, God, she begged, don't let it be what I think it is. Edward took a deep breath.
"Hannah had cancer. She had had it since she was six months old. Tanya knew. That's why she left her with me. She didn't want a cancer child. She wanted a perfect child."
Hatred filled Bella. How could a mother give up her daughter because she was sick?
"The doctors told us that it was too late. It had spread too much. Hannah only had six months to live.
"I hated Tanya. I hated her. If she had told me that Hannah had cancer, we could have saved her. She would be alive. She would be here, right now. But she isn't. Two days after her third birthday, Hannah died in her sleep. I woke up because she hadn't tapped me. She always tapped me at 2am to get a glass of water. I woke up and looked over at her and...I just knew. I knew she was gone."
Edward had to pause. He put his head in his hands as he cried. Bella, too, was crying. Dead at 3-years-old. It wasn't right. That wasn't how it was supposed to be. Edward let a single sob out before regaining his composure.
"After Hannah's funeral, I asked my family if I could have the house to myself. It held memories of Hannah that I didn't wanna forget. I can't explain it exactly, but I knew I wanted the house and the memories to myself. They agreed and moved out the following week to their house in LA.
"So that was three years ago when I was 21. About five months after Hannah's death, I decided to start taking in foster children. I needed to fill the hole. Of course, it never filled. Not completely. No one could, or can, replace Hannah. And...I guess that's it. Now I'm here."
Bella stared at him, speechless. She couldn't fathom his story. It was...she just couldn't understand.
"Edward," she finally whispered. "Edward, I am so...I'm so so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry this happened to you and I'm sorry that I called your life perfect."
Edward shrugged. "Anyone who doesn't know would think that. It's fine."
They sat in silence for half an hour, both in their own thoughts. Edward eventually looked over at Bella.
"You wanna see her?" he asked.
Bella nodded. "Sure."
They got up and headed to Edward's room. Edward walked over to his nightstand, picked up the picture, and handed it to Bella. Her eyes refilled with tears. Hannah was beautiful.
She had inherited her mother's blue eyes, but she definitely had Edward's hair. Smile, too, Bella noticed. The picture was of her in Edward's lap. They were both smiling as they sat in front of a breathtaking waterfall. It looked...perfect. The way it should be. Not the way it was. It wasn't right. Something so innocent and so pure...it wasn't right.
"She's beautiful," Bella commented softly.
Edward nodded. They both stared at the picture for a few moments before Bella quietly asked, "Do you believe in God, Edward?"
Edward furrowed his brows before answering. "I didn't used to. Before she died, I didn't. But, at her funeral, the clergyman read this verse. Isaiah 40:30-31, I think it was. 'Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.' I just had this picture of Hannah in heaven. She was strong and more beautiful than ever. She was running in this meadow filled with flowers and butterflies. She was laughing and smiling and she was healthy. Then I saw this guy in a white robe. It was God, I think, and He was just smiling at her. Then He looked at me and said, 'She's safe. She's okay. I'll take care of her for now, but she's waiting for you.' Since then, I've had to believe in God. I can't let her down. She's waiting for me up there."
Bella was crying again. She smiled through the tears as she said, "That's...really good, Edward. I think you've just convinced me to believe in God."
Edward chuckled. "Hope that gets in a good word for me with the Big Guy."
Bella smiled before taking Edward's face in her hands. "You'll see her again, Edward. You'll be with her."
Edward nodded and removed her hands from his face, taking them into his own. "You'll see them, too, Bella. Your parents. They're waiting for you, too."
"Think so?" she asked meekly.
Edward squeezed her hands. "I know so."
They smiled at each other before Edward enveloped Bella into a hug, feeling more love than he had in years.
"It's haaaapeningggg!" Hannah exclaimed as she watched the two on earth.
"What's happening?" asked Renee.
"Bella and Daddy are falling in love!"
"Bella's what?" Charlie asked. Hannah giggled.
"Oh, look at them, Charlie. Aren't they darling?" cooed Renee as she looked at the embracing couple.
"Should keep his hands off my daughter," he grumbled.
"Now, now, Charlie, there's no being grumpy in the Lord's Kingdom," said Julian, Hannah's guardian angel. He followed her wherever she went, just as he had on earth.
"Oh, Julian, is there any way to just...make it happen?" Renee questioned of the angel.
He shrugged. "God can do anything, but he usually doesn't tamper with things like love. They just...happen. He plans it and it happens as it's supposed to."
"Well," Hannah started, "if God planned it, then it has to happen. God doesn't do stuff wrong."
Julian chuckled and patted her head. "That's true, little one, God doesn't do stuff wrong, but He doesn't always plan for people to fall in love forever."
"Well, He did with Bella and Daddy. They're gonna get married!"
Julian smiled and picked her up. They both directed their gaze down to Bella and Edward, who were still holding on to each other with all that they had.
"Whatever you say, Hannah Jane. Whatever you say."
I'm sorry if you were offended because you don't believe in God, but I do, so I had to put it in there.
So I was really surprised that no one guess Edward's story. In his introduction, one of the lines from the song was "My God, I've seen my children die". I thought someone would catch that.
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