A/N: I know it's been a long time since I don't post an interview. I don't even know if this one is funny, but anyways, enjoy!
Q: 10th time! 10th time I interview the―
GEORGE: BEATLES!
Q: Thanks to these guys I could buy a brand new red Ferrari!
PAUL: Why do you have a Ferrari and I don't?
JOHN: She's rich and we aren't, Paulie.
RINGO: We don't know where the hell the money we earn goes.
GEORGE: To the taxman! They tax your feet!
JOHN: And the Queen of England!
RINGO: And Eppy!
PAUL: And this lady that's interviewing us!
JOHN: To everyone except us!
Q: I'm sure you have enough money, boys… Now, why don't we start the interview? Then you will answer some fan-letters!
PAUL: I want to answer the fan-letters now!
Q: Wait…
JOHN: Oh yeah, wait a minute Mister Postman…
GEORGE: Wait, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, Mister Postman…
RINGO: Mister Postman, look and see, is there a letter in your back for me?
Q: Stop singing!
JOHN: And who are you to tell the Beatles to stop singing?
PAUL: Anyone could die to hear us sing live and you don't take this opportunity…
JOHN: Shame on her.
Q: That's right boys, shame on me.
JOHN: Yes, shame on you, because we have just gotten out off a plane, and now we have to answer stupid questions instead of sleeping!
PAUL: Or peeing! They didn't even let me pee! I literally peed my pants in the plane thanks to Mister Lennon! I NEED A BATHROOM, PLEASE!
GEORGE: Why didn't you use the restroom in the plane?
RINGO: Too untidy for princess Paulie?
PAUL: Well yes, but no! John Fucking Stupid Lennon fell asleep on my lap the entire trip!
GEORGE: Why didn't you just wake him up?
PAUL: I just couldn't! He looked so bloody adorable… Damn you, Lennon!
JOHN: I'm adorable.
RINGO: No.
JOHN: Yes!
GEORGE: No.
PAUL: Yes!
JOHN: No.
PAUL: Wait, what?
RINGO: No freaking idea…
PAUL: Well, the point is that while he was peacefully sleeping and snoring like an animal, my bladder was begging to release.
GEORGE: BLADDER? OH MY SWEET LORD, WHAT? ARE YOU REALLY A WOMAN?
PAUL: No! Every human being has a bladder!
GEORGE: Well, I don't have!
RINGO: I don't have one either!
GEORGE: Bladders are for women, like penises are for men.
PAUL: Please shut up…
JOHN: How did we end up talking about bladders? Weren't we talking about how adorable I look while I'm asleep?
RINGO: Paul is exaggerating… You are anything but adorable, and when you sleep you look like you just drank a dozen bottles of alcohol, which sometimes you do, and you fucking snore like a bloody bear!
GEORGE: Yeah, you're right, Rings. I think the only one of us that looks adorable no matter what is―
PAUL: Me?
GEORGE: Yeah, who else?
JOHN: Hell, even I have to say that's completely true. I'm not adorable at all… I think the real reason Macca didn't wake me up was because I didn't react too good the last time someone woke me up…
RINGO: Which was this morning…
GEORGE: Brian was trying to wake him up and John shouted "WHAAAAAAAAAAAA!" in shock and then hit the poor guy…
JOHN: It was an accident! But yeah… I don't like when people wake me up.
Q: OK boys, thank you very much for all of that… Now I have to―
PAUL: Ask us things?
Q: Yeah.
PAUL: Why don't we skip that part and answer the fan-letters instead?
Q: Not yet!
PAUL: Why not?
Q: I am the one that does the questions here! Now please answer: do you have any siblings?
RINGO: Yes! I have three childish brothers!
Q: Lovely! What are their names?
RINGO: Paul, George and John!
GEORGE: I am not your brother, Rings!
RINGO: Why not?
GEORGE: Because I can't marry you if you are!
RINGO: Ahh… true… I forgot we are engaged…
JOHN: Paul and I aren't engaged anymore.
GEORGE: Oh my! Why's that?
RINGO: Did you finally break up?
PAUL: No! Because we got married yesterday!
GEORGE: YOU GOT MARRIED AND DIDN'T INVITE US TO THE WEDDING?!
RINGO: WE'RE SO MAD WITH YOU!
JOHN: Well sorry, we were alone and didn't know where the hell you were, so we thought: why don't we get married?
GEORGE: We are not going to talk to you two anymore.
PAUL: Why are you so upset?
RINGO: Yeah, why are we, Geo? They didn't even get married.
JOHN: We did!
RINGO: Yeah? So you divorced Cyn?
JOHN: Ye… I mean… no…
GEORGE: Then what's that wedding you are talking about? It's still illegal for queers to marry! Even homosexuality is illegal!
PAUL: Shut up! You and Ringo aren't getting married either!
RINGO: That's because it's a joke, princess Paulie!
PAUL: Everything in these interviews is a joke, all right?! Now can we finish this quick, please? I still need to use the bathroom!
GEORGE: Didn't you say you peed your pants?
RINGO: Is that why I can smell something funny?
PAUL: Just shut up and let me pee please! I'm going to cry!
GEORGE: Cry baby cry…
Q: I'm with McCartney. Can you answer, please?
RINGO: Answer what?
Q: What I asked!
RINGO: And what did you ask?
Q: If you have any siblings!
RINGO: Ah, right. As I was saying… I have Macca and Lennie, and a gorgeous fiancée called George. But apart from that I am sadly an only child.
JOHN: I have two younger sisters, Julia and Jacqui. I love them; they are very nice and sweet.
Q: Daughters of your mother and father?
JOHN: No, just mom…
Q: Would you like to share a little bit more about it?
PAUL: No, he doesn't. That's personal stuff, OK? Let's move on. I have a brother called Mike. He's two years younger.
JOHN: He used to cover us whenever Macca sneaked to my house or I sneaked to his.
PAUL: Ah… those old times…
GEORGE: I am the youngest of four children.
Q: Nice! Now another question!
PAUL: I don't want to answer more questions! I need to urinate!
JOHN: Go find a bloody restroom for fuck's sake!
Q: He can't go until the interview is over!
PAUL: And why's that?
Q: You just can't!
RINGO: I think I kind of want to piss too…
Q: Ugh! You are impossible! I only asked you one question and you want to go already…
JOHN: If you'd have 15% of the pressure we have, you would surely want to sleep too.
Q: Just answer a couple of fan letters, yeah?
PAUL: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
Q: First one!
"Dear George and Ringo,
You two are my absolute fave of the four ˂3
I think Ringo is the most beautiful, precious creature on this earth, and George is a damn gorgeous, soulful man. So I'd like to know, what do the of you think about goth birds? 'Cause this one would love to take the both of you on a date, maybe like a picnic in the cemetery, just the three of us?
Whaddya say, luvs?
Yours cruely,
Lyss, Princess of the Dark"
PAUL: Goth birds? Yeah, why not?
GEORGE: Hey! The letter was Rings and I!
JOHN: I bet Ringo doesn't even know what the word "goth" means.
RINGO: I do! And thank you very much, Lyss. I can't believe someone thinks I am the most beautiful and precious creature on earth.
JOHN: But you are not! Paul is!
GEORGE: But we're not talking about Paul! Accept the fact that Rings and I have the same amount, or perhaps more fangirls that you and Paul.
RINGO: Just ignore 'em, Geo… A double date? That would be interesting!
Q: So is that a yes?
GEORGE: Yeah! I like cemeteries… John, Paul and I used to hang around a lot in the cemetery of the Church where―
PAUL: Where John and I met!
RINGO: July 6 of 1957, we know! Stop repeating it all the time!
GEORGE: So it's a yes. But you better bring a lot of food in that picnic basket, Lyss!
Q: Good! Now another one!
"Dear Beatles,
I absolutely 3 you guys and Paul I am so mad at you you are mine and mine only. No more hotel rooms with John. George if your so hungry at the interviews bring food with you. Now James Paul McCartney I'm going to take you home and talk to you about this affair with John and Jane. Again I soooooo in love with you guys!3
All my loving,
Meg"
PAUL: Aw, sweetie, you're cute.
JOHN: Yes Meg, you're cute, but nothing will stop Paul and me to share hotel rooms.
GEORGE: She's a genius! Why haven't I thought of bringing food with me?
RINGO: Thank you for the letter!
Q: You're behaving! And we have another fan letter, so let's read it!
"Hi, Ringo! It's Brooke again, this is my second fan-letter to you guys!
Paul, you're very pretty. John, you're a bastard but a fantastic one. George, you're just adorable.
But Ringo... you're amazing. You have the most amazing blue eyes, your nose is extremely cute, and you have such a great singing voice no matter what anyone tells you. Don't listen to the boys when they tease you, they're just jealous because you're the sexiest man alive."
JOHN: Jealous of Ringo? Oh my God… the world will end the day I feel jealous of him.
RINGO: Stop teasing me, John! And yes, you're jealous because I'm sexier than any of you!
PAUL: Sexier than me? No freaking way.
GEORGE: Poor guy… Let him win at least once in a while…
RINGO: Thank you so much for your letter! I am so grateful, Brooke! I really appreciate that you actually like my nose… No one has ever told me that.
JOHN: That's because your nose is ugly as hell!
RINGO: It is not! Now I see you're just jealous!
GEORGE: Well his nose is ugly but this girl seems to like it. What's the problem? Now, what you can't deny is that Ringo's eyes are truly beautiful…
PAUL: But mines are still bigger!
RINGO: But they're not blue!
JOHN: She also said I'm a fantastic bastard. I like how it sounds!
GEORGE: And she said I'm adorable. Thank you dear!
PAUL: And I know I'm very pretty, but it's nice to hear it anyway.
RINGO: I love your fan-letters Brooke! I'm officially a fan of yours now!
Q: OK, no more fan-letters for this interview!
JOHN: So this over, and that means Paul can―
PAUL: FINALLY PEE!
GEORGE: Bye bye Beatle people! Remember to not take these interviews so seriously.
RINGO: We love you, fangirls!
A/N: Thank you for sending the fan letters, I didn't change anything and I posted them exactly as you wrote them.
I'm still open for suggestions/questions/fan-letters.