Chapter 10 - New Perspective
Merlin went to the battlements after Gwaine's funeral. He wanted to be alone, far from people and the noise of life, and the place had proven itself to be the best choice many times before. It was late afternoon and he was tired. He'd promised Gaius that he would return to bed as soon as the funeral ended, but his hurting heart led him the opposite way, to one of the highest places in Camelot.
However, he didn't enjoy his solitude for long. Arthur soon came to join him. Whether he was sent by Gaius to check on him or whether they simply had the same idea, Merlin couldn't tell, but he was grateful. Something told him that they would be able to spend a moment in silence without feeling awkward or uncomfortable.
The king leaned on the battlements on Merlin's left side, and they stood there for a long time without saying anything.
"I miss him," the words left Merlin's mouth before he could stop himself. Everybody missed Gwaine. There was no need to say it aloud, and Merlin suddenly felt that it was almost inappropriate for him to break the silence with such an obvious statement.
"I miss him too," Arthur confirmed. They were both looking at the Lower Town, watching the people of Camelot returning to their houses. Soon there were candle lights shining from the windows, making the town look like embers in a lingering fire.
"When I woke up at the Lake," Arthur began suddenly, staring unfocused in the distance, "I was-" he swallowed hard, not able to find the right words to describe the exact emotion that had flooded his system. "I think I was missing something, but the missing was stronger than anything," he paused for a moment.
"It went away eventually," he carried on, "but I still remember how intense it was. It almost made me want to go back." He blinked at Merlin shortly.
"Gwaine once told me," Merlin responded, "that the tragedy of death is in the distance it creates between people. Death separates us, but there is nothing frightening about it in the end. It's all right not to fear it, any more than you fear another step into the unknown. Because that's what death is, after all."
"Makes sense," Arthur said, "especially for Gwaine, I guess. All I know is that dying would be easier, if only a man could die alone," he whispered after a while, looking shyly in Merlin's eyes, as if he wasn't sure whether Merlin understood. But he did, and confirmed it silently.
"So...," Merlin bit his lip, "how does it feel to beat death?" He wasn't entirely sure whether he was supposed to ask such a question, but he knew that the old Merlin would certainly do that to the old Arthur, even if it was in the flow of his usual ramble, teasingly, with no expectation of hearing the answer. However, he was surprised by Arthur's thoughtful expression and the seriousness with which he approached the question.
"The truth is," Arthur looked at his hands, playing with the royal ring, "I feel like a stranger to this world now. As if I know something nobody else does, and no matter what words I use to describe it, no one will ever be able to understand," he admitted and looked on the horizon.
The setting sun turned everything around them into a mosaic of yellow, orange and black. Gold sparked in Arthur's eyes as if he'd just used magic to hold the sun up for a little longer. Merlin didn't want to interrupt his words. He was grateful that Arthur was willing to share the matters of his heart. So he just looked in the same direction as his friend, towards the setting sun, and waited.
"Sometimes it's lonely," Arthur carried on, "sometimes it's heavy. But mostly I feel privileged and grateful. Grateful to you."
Arthur turned toward Merlin and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Thank you, old friend."
Merlin would bet there were tears gathering in Arthur's eyes, if only for a moment before he blinked them away. The king nodded as a goodbye and turned to leave.
"So, no hugs?" Merlin couldn't help himself, he had to at least try. Something was telling him that such an opportunity shouldn't go to waste.
Arthur stopped before facing the warlock again, serious and unnaturally stiff. But then, he opened his arms slightly and took two steps towards Merlin.
"Come here," he said, smiling over the feigned seriousness of their situation.
Merlin was again taken by surprise with Arthur's reaction. He didn't hesitate and without further words, he sank into Arthur's welcoming arms and embraced him with all the strength he could muster. He almost felt like he was expected to say something silly to make his friend laugh, but he couldn't think of anything. But he smiled anyway, knowing that Arthur's attempt to fill the silence failed as well.
"Is there anything funny, Merlin?" Arthur asked after a while, using his typical warning, yet playful tone.
Merlin didn't respond at first, knowing that the laugh he was trying to stifle would be easily recognizable in his voice. He bit his lip when Arthur said his name a second time. He knew he'd failed when the high-pitched 'no', although somewhat subdued, gave him away. Merlin felt Arthur take a breath, possibly to reprimand him with some extremely clever comment, but the words never came. Instead, Arthur just tightened his embrace and Merlin's wide smile slowly left his face, leaving a warm feeling of peace and joy.
He couldn't hold back a wince when his arms rested at his sides again.
"What is it?" Arthur asked with concern. The warlock still wasn't completely recovered and Arthur could picture Gaius's reproachful face if something happened to his ward, particularly in Arthur's presence.
"Nothing, just a little scar," Merlin said.
"Ah," Arthur understood. "I have one too." There was a short silence. "Anyway, it's been a long day. We should eat something." Arthur was already turning to leave when he suddenly stopped himself and looked at Merlin with a mischievous smile. "We're not going to argue over who has a bigger scar, are we?"
Merlin blinked in surprise. "Of course not," he said, "Never. That would be stupid and beneath us in general."
"Good," Arthur breathed out in relief, "because just in case you're wondering, mine's bigger."
"That's not fair," Merlin argued, following Arthur down the stairs to the hall.
"And before you say anything, don't forget I'm the king of Camelot and now I'm also the only man who survived his own death," he warned.
"How could that count?"
"Because... it does! And you said you won't argue."
"I'm not- but still-"
"Merlin-"
"Yes?"
"Shut up!"
The End.
Epilogue
It took several council meetings to transcribe the new rules for practicing magic in Camelot, but after two months of preparations the ban was raised. Merlin and Gaius were the ones who had crucial influence on the new code. Merlin was named the court sorcerer, but after exactly three days of wearing official robes, Merlin put on his old clothes with the neckerchief and wore them for many years, until they grew too small for his figure.
Merlin was also made an advisor of King Arthur. Apart from the new duties, he still occasionally fulfilled his servant's chores, including waking Arthur up, bringing him breakfast and polishing his armour if needed. Arthur refused to hire a new servant, so Merlin was extremely busy when Gwen got pregnant and had to look after their newborn child.
Arthur and Guinevere had five children together, three sons and two daughters. Merlin became a godfather to all of them and watched them grow and learn until they were old enough to marry and have their own families. Together they united Albion, ruling in all of the five kingdoms.
He also decided to stay with Gaius in his old chamber. The only difference was a slightly more comfortable bed that Arthur had made for him. Merlin lived there until Gaius died, seven years after the battle of Camlann. Then, when Merlin took the position of the court physician as well, he permitted the old chambers to be rebuilt and newly equipped.
Merlin got never married. He remained faithful to Freya, who appeared often in his dreams. It was Arthur's idea to build a marble monument at the Lake at Freya's honour and Merlin often went there to talk to her. He always promised that they would soon meet again.
During the reign of Arthur and Guinevere, Camelot became a prosperous land where people lived with dignity and love toward their king. Merlin helped Arthur's firstborn son at the beginning of his reign of Camelot, advising him and supporting him in his decisions.
When Merlin recognized his time was nearing, he said his last goodbye to Aithusa. It was a decision they made together, that no matter how beautiful life is, no man and no magical creature should be forced to live forever without those he loved. Aithusa left in peace and with hope, believing that everything was as it was supposed to be.
Freya came for Merlin the day before his ninetieth birthday. She took his hand in his sleep and when he woke, the first thing he saw was her beautiful smile. Gaius stood next to her, as well as Arthur and Gwen, and they were all surrounded with the brightest light Merlin had ever seen.
...
After the battle of Camlann Arthur had the piece of Mordred's sword sealed into a golden coin, one side with a silhouette of a dragon and the other with the sign of the Old Religion. Along with Arthur's sword and Merlin's neckerchief soaked in the Great Dragon's blood, the three artifacts became the symbols of Camelot's golden age.
However, they were lost during the following centuries. The legend says that when Albion is in the greatest need, the Sword, the Coin and the Neckerchief will unite and magic will once again rule over the land.
So... another story finished!
I would like to thank you all for reading and commenting and for the great support and encouragement I received from you in the past few days. Also I shouldn't forget all the guests who had read and reviewed the story. Thank you!
Special thanks to the amazing author and beta-reader writer501 for the work she'd done on this piece! Without her, you won't be reading this story, so go and check out her work!
And there are some more good news: angelique444 is translating the story into French! It might take some time, but... Hurrah!
Also if you're still sad about the Merlin finale, I would like to encourage you to read the scripts of Merlin6KingomCome. I can guarantee it would help. A bit :-)
Till the next time!
- Grace