This chapter is very intense so I warn you..
Me and Sebastian walk hand in hand down the hall when we see Karofsky, the school bully come around the corner walking out way. He stops and looks at us, he smiles his cruel evil smile. Karofsky was the one who gave me a slushy facial the first day of school along with his gang of football friends
. "What do you want Karofsky?" I ask trying to sound courageous but failing miserably.
"One of the football player said you two were spreading your fairy dust all over the place so I thought I would check it out," He says flatly,
He cracks his knuckles "so which one of you wants to go first?" He asks and look at me then to Sebastian, he stays on him for a long time.
"How bout you porcelain?" He says, gosh I hate that freaking name! Sue Sylvester, the cheer leading coach from hell gave me that name so they start to call me it around the school.
"How bout no," Sebastian says shortly and glares at him And as if Sebastian were Medusa or something Karofsky unclenches his fist and storms off, I look at him with shock
"How did you do that?" I ask baffled and we continue walking down the hall.
He chuckles and says "it says if you look at your enemy in the eye they're soul will turn to ash," I smile picturing Karofsky dissolving into ash, that would be nice
"you so need to teach me that," I tell him.
Once we get to the door he let's go of my hand, I look at him
"Hey I got to go to the restroom, save me a seat, I'll be back before you know it," he says sounding a bit off.
I look at him confusedly "okay?... I will do that,"
He smiles "you know I love you right?"
I smile back and tell him "Oh course.. You kept your promise so far, you haven't taken a single drug and you haven't hit me in over two weeks," he hugs me and we kiss.
I walk in to see Rachel and Finn doing a duet, I sit next to Mercedes
"Where's Sebastian?" She asks me
"He went to the restroom," I tell her, she nods her head and we listen to the rest of duet.
Ten minutes pass and I look at the door, no Sebastian, that's odd. 15 minutes pass still no sign of Sebastian, when thirty minutes pass in ask Mr. Schue if I can 'go to the restroom', he approves and I go search for him. I check in the bathroom, no Sebastian in fact not even a trace of him cause if he was there I would've smelt his strong spray, that's very odd. I look in the gym only to see a guy and a girl making out under the bleachers then finally I check the place where he loves to go most, the auditorium. I look down the rows of seats, I almost whisper his name only to stop short cause I hear a shoe squeak on the stage. I quietly walk up stage checking in the wings, I stop when I hear a moan coming from the up stage left wing. It's not Sebastian's I know that for sure cause this one sounded more huskier. I tippy toe over to where the sound came from and peer in, I gasp in shock to what I see. Sebastian's arms are wrapped around another guy, Karofsky! He's making out with Karofsky! Fury builds up inside me, how could he do this to me!
"What the hell?" I yell at the top of my lungs, I shake with rage,
They both look at me with shock, obviously they didn't see me.
Sebastian runs over to me "it's not-"
"What you think! Well what the hell is it then Sebastian? How could you do this to me! How" I yell and notice Karofsky left, probably didn't want anyone else to see.
"I-I-"
"You lied to me! Ball faced lied to me! How! How could you! After every thing we've been through! After everything we've done! Does that even matter to you! Don't you dare touch me!" I roar when he tries to touch me.
He tries to say something but I cut him off "do you know how much tears I shed cause of you? Do you know how much make-up I have to put on to cover up the bruises you gave me?" I feel my eyes burn. "But I lov-"
"Don't you dare say those words Sebastian! If you really love me you would not have done that to me!"
I can't control the words that come out of my mouth next "if that's what you want fine, go ahead, I don't care anymore! it's over! Done! Me and you are finished!"
Then I see it in his eyes, something inside him snaps in two, "don't you do this to me," he says through his teeth,
(They glare at each other for a long moment)
Kurt: Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
(Sebastian rolls his eyes)
Sebastian: (shrugs) I can't tell you what it really is I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now it's a steel knife in my windpipe (holds his own neck)
I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight (put his fists in the arm)
As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight
High off a love, drunk from my hate, It's like I'm huffing paint and I love it the more I suffer,
I suffocate And right before I'm about to drown, he resuscitates me
He fucking hates me and I love it.
(Kurt rolls his eyes and walks away but Sebastian grabs his arm)
Wait! Where you going?
Kurt mouthes: "I'm leaving you!"
No you ain't.
Come back we're running right back.
Here we go again
It's so insane cause when it's going good, it's going great I'm
Superman with the wind at his back, he's Lois Lane
But when it's bad it's awful, I feel so ashamed I snapped
Who's that dude?
"I don't even know his name." I laid hands on him,
I'll never stoop so low again I guess I don't know my own strength
(Kurt rolls his eyes and walks around Sebastian pointing at him)
Kurt: Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
Sebastian: You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe when you're with 'em
You meet and neither one of you even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling (rubs his heart)
Yeah, them chills you used to get 'em (rubs his arms)
Now you're getting fucking sick of looking at 'em
You swore you'd never hit 'em; never do nothing to hurt 'em
(Flashes back to an huge argument between them)
Now you're in each other's face spewing venom in your words when you spit them
You push, pull each other's hair, scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down, pin 'em (Shows Sebastian beating Kurt in the passed)
So lost in the moments when you're in them It's the rage that took over it controls you both
So they say you're best to go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know you 'cause today that was yesterday
Yesterday is over, it's a different day
Sound like broken records playing over but you promised him
Next time you show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch him leave out the window
Guess that's why they call it window "pain"
(Goes back to the present, Kurt looks at Sebastian with hatred in his eyes)
Kurt: Just gonna stand there and watch me burn (Kurt forms tears in his eyes)
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
Sebastian: Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine
But your temper's just as bad as mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love you're just as blinded (Kurt shakes his head and walks away)
Baby, please come back It wasn't you, baby it was me
Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
(Kurt turns around and looks at Sebastian)
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though
Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault (points at his self)
Look me in the eyeball (points at his eyes)
Next time I'm pissed, I'll lay my fist at the drywall Next time?
There will be no next time! I apologize even though I know its lies
(Walks to Kurt, tries to get close to him but pushes him away)
I'm tired of the games I just want him back I know I'm a liar
If he ever tries to fucking leave again Im'a tie him to the bed and set this house on fire
I'm just gonna
Kurt: Just gonna stand there and watch me burn (points at himself)
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
(Sebastian pulls Kurt over to him with force)
We stand there nose touching nose, breathing heavily, usually if feel something like I want to kiss him but this time I feel nothing. Then I do the unexpected, I slap him real hard in the face then storm out of the auditorium, eyes full of mixed tears, some happy and relived, some sad and heartbroken.
"This wont end pretty!" He threatens once I reach the door but I brush it off,
I get into my car and drive off campus to think.
After I cool down I decide to go over to Blaine's house to tell him what happened earlier but someone else opens the door this time.
"Oh hi, erm, Kurt? Is that your name?" Starchild says and immediately feel like an intruder.
"Yes," I say awkwardly I've never seen him outside of Glee club before,
"is Blaine there?" "He left to go get his dog some food but you can come inside and wait for him," he says.
I shake my head but then he pulls me inside, "you'll die of Hypothermia if you wait out here," he says with a smile.
"How come your always so quite in Glee Club?" He asks once we get to Blaine's room,
I sit down, "I don't know. Honestly I'm more sociable than that normally." I tell him and he turns on the TV,
"What's going on then?" He asks and I'm quite shocked that he asked me that.
"Um, well, a lot actually," I say being locked up, he looks at me, "you know this is the first time I've had a conversation with you Starchild," changing the subject.
"Please call me Elliott," he says,
"Elliott, and I'm kind of ashamed of it too. You seem like a decent guy to hang out with," I compliment him, Elliott smiles. "When I first joined Glee club I thought you hated me," he says quietly,
"Well you were a little out there to be honest, no offense," I admit.
He sighs and laughs "yeah that's what the California life did to me," he says,
I look at him and smile "if you wouldn't mind I would like to ask you to be my friend, so you can show me how to have... Fun." I say lamely.
"That would be nice," he says with a smile, we shake hands and laugh.
"You didn't answer my question," he says once we get done laughing, I look at him confusedly,
"What went on? Why were you so quite?" He asks and my joy fades away quickly.
"Um, well, boyfriend problems," I say not telling him the whole truth,
"What? Does your boyfriend beat you or something?" he suggests, I snort at how ironic that was.
"Ex-boyfriend to be exact," I tell him and I notice his expression changes to something I can't read,
"Ex? Oh wow, I'm so sorry. What happened between you two? Is that why you left early from rehearsals?" He asks. "Well I caught him making out with another guy in the auditorium and I snapped," I tell him softly flashing back to today, "I know how you feel, my ex-boyfriend that I was totally in love with in California slept with my best friend," he says and goes silent, he's probably remembering the time.
"But you know what I did? Moved on. Yeah I know it's tough but you only live once. So I say enjoy life at its fullest," he says happily,
"I-I don't know what to do. Part of me is glad that I broke up with him, the other part wants him back," I say with full of emotion.
"Well what I would do is just give up relationships, for the time being. Flirt with other guys, party all night, live the single life for once!" he says, I can't help but smile at his enthusiasm.
"Hey babe I'm bac- Oh hey Kurt! What are you doing here?" Blaine asks when he walks into the room,
"Mr. Single here just broke up with his boyfriend today cause he caught him smacking out with another guy on stage," Elliott says and ruffles my hair, Blaine looks at me wide-eyed.
I try to fix my hair, "with who? Do we know the guy?" He asks,
I lie and shake my head, I'm not going to reveal Karofsky's secret cause it's not mine to tell. "I'm so sorry Kurt," he says and sits down next to Elliott,
"Hey you know what always cheers me up after a break up, The Sound of Music!" Elliott says, I can't help but laugh, he likes musicals? Wow.
"Raindrops on Roses and whiskers on kittens," I sing with a smile and he puts the movie in. We sang every single song in the entire movie including Edelweiss, after the movie I feel... Free and almost... Happy. Elliott gave me his number so we can text later on.
"Dad?" I call out when I get home, Rose greets me and I pet her on the head, I look around to try to find him. When I go by his room I hear heavy snoring, I open the door to see my dad passed out in his bed. I chuckle and close the door, obviously he had a long day cause that is the only time he snores. I turn around to see Rose holding her food bowl in her mouth, I smile and take it from her then walk into the kitchen.
"What do you want tonight you want a dry or a wet food?" I say in Italian accent,
she goes to the cupboard where we store the wet dog food. I open it and she picks out chicken and beef, I pour it into her bowl and I hear a big bang come from the living room. Rose runs out of the room and I follow her, my hairs stand up when I get into the room.
The window is open. I slowly walk to it and shut it, dad just probably left it open by accident, I convince myself as I walk back to the kitchen. I place Rose's bowl down so she can eat, I pour into her water bowl some filtered water. I look around the kitchen feeling the eeriness of the quite, finally I decide to grab a bag of Cheetos and go to my room.
I fall asleep watching Moulin Rouge, I dream that I'm in a castle and I am a prince but I was put in a tall tower far away deep in a forest and cursed under spell that I could not be removed from the tower only true loves first kiss would break the spell. One day while I look out of the tower I see a guy, Blaine riding a white horse. He notices the tower - me - and he stops and looks up at me.
"You must be the prince I have to save!" He exclaims, I smile and nod my head,
"I will get you out and make you my husband!" He says and I sadly shake my head.
"You see I am under a spell, I cannot leave until my true love comes up here and kisses me," I tell him,
"Well then make me a strong rope so I can climb up there!" He exclaims.
I smile and throw a rope down that I have been working for years, once he gets to my window I gasp in horror as the face of Blaine Anderson morphs into Sebastian Smythe.
I step back as he climbs in, "hello sweetheart," he says and gives me a cruel, evil smile, suddenly I can't move, I'm frozen while he walks toward me,
"Get away!" I yell at him when he strokes my hair, it feels so real.
"I'm afraid I cannot Mr. Hummel," he says then he leans in for a kiss, that's when I wake up.
I stare into darkness and panic when I feel a gag in my mouth,
I struggle to free my arms that are tied to the bed, I look down at my legs and notice that I'm fully nude.
Out of the corner in the shadows a figure dressed in all black come toward me, I scream but the gag muffles it.
"Shhh," the voice tells me and strokes my face, I flick my head away trying to get away from him and try to get free, I notice he puts something cold on my neck. A sharp blade.
I close my eyes and breathe really hard,
"don't struggle with me now or I'll kill you," he whispers in my ear, I start to sob, I'm going to die tonight, I think to myself and open my eyes only to stare into those evil twisted eyes of... Sebastian.
He removes the blade from my neck, I watch in horror as he climbs up on to my bed, I struggle in fear of not knowing what he's going to do next.
He takes off his shirt and unbuckles his pants until he is as naked as me.
Then he straddles me on the chest to where I can't move at all.
He holds his blade to my neck again and says
"if you make one word, I will kill every single one of your friends and family starting off with your precious little Blaine." I breath heavily not because of Sebastian's weight on me but out of panic, the last thing I want is for my loved ones to die because of me.
I nod my head then he unties my gag and pushes his length in my mouth forcefully.
I wince as he pushes my head fast while he thrusts, I'd rather have the gag in my mouth than this.
I wiggle around trying to get free but Sebastian presses the blade deeper into my neck,
It's no use to struggle Kurt, I might as well tell him to kill me right now which I doubt he won't do until he gets done with me, I think hopelessly in my mind.
I can feel the throw up come up from my stomach and gag then I panic cause I can't breathe.
Calm down Kurt your going to go into hyperventilation, I think to my self then I feel him come into my mouth.
It taste bitter like Phenergan so that means he's been taking some kind of heavy drug, I gag trying to spit it out,
"Swallow it," he says as he get off from me, I follow his instructions but it comes back up followed my more throw up. "Da-" I try to yell but he immediately puts the gag back in my mouth, I feel the next round of throw up coming but once it's in my mouth I have to swallow it back down. He looks at my chest that's covered in throw up
"Ewww that's fucking disgusting," he says and gets off the bed he grabs one of my shirts and wipes it up.
He starts to untie my arms, I try to swing at him once they get free by his hands.
He pulls out his knife and drags it deep across my belly, I scream in pain, I feel the blood trickle down onto my bed. I start to breathe calmer because every time I inhale it opens up the wound and hurts like crazy.
He ties my hands together in a European death knots then starts to untie my legs.
When the moments right I start spasming out, trying to kicking him, throw my arms at him but he holds me down and flips me on my stomach.
I still try to struggle as he ties my feet together that's when I feel the horrible pain, I almost black out because of it but I tell my self I'm stronger.
I feel him drag his blade deep into the bottom of my feet, I scream in agony.
"Stop struggling and I'll stop," he say but I'm too determined to get away from him that I don't listen, again I feel the huge amount of pain in my feet.
I sob in pain as he drags the knife into my heel,
"oh and your dad can't hear you, I put a Xanax into the tea so he's off in dreamland which is a long long way from here," he adds.
I sob harder, nobody can hear my cries, I'm alone with my now psychotic, demented ex-boyfriend that plans on doing god knows what to me. I freeze when I feel him rub my butt cheeks then my breathing rapidly increases. I feel his hands rub up under my chest then back down to where he was and I feel tears slip down my face. I squeeze my eyes shut when I feel him lick all over my butt, I stifle a sob.
It's all over, I think hopelessly, I'm going to lose my virginity tonight and it's not going to be with the person that I'm in love with. I wince when he roughly pulls my butt cheeks apart then he licks all around my entrance. I struggle to get away from him but I'm held down by him then I immediately stop cause I hear him get up and get something.
"I told you to stop fighting me!" He yells at me then I feel something hit my back that's really sharp,
I yelp in pain when it hits me again.
I look back to see what it is that's hitting me, a black whip, I turn my head back around when he hits me again.
I try to yell stop but he doesn't hear me and he keeps on whipping me. I cry another batch of silent tears as he whips me until I feel the blood trickle down from my back.
"Now are you going to stop?" He asks as he rubs my butt, I whimper and nod my head then I gasp when I feel his length on the small of my back. I think about what normal would be doing right now, sleeping peacefully and also safe. I feel him drag it down to the top of my butt, instead of breathing calmly I breathe quickly out of fear.
Then I feel this last bit of sanity... like a spark, I squeeze my eyes shut and kick him, hitting him hard in the mouth.
"God damn it!" He yells and throws something hard at my head causing me to black out for a second. I feel him put the knife on the back of my neck, I sigh then I finally give up.
I sadly admit to myself that I've lost.
When I open my eyes I see Blaine, it's only my imagination I think sadly.
"Kurt you can fight him!" He tells me encouragingly, I want to hold him and never let go, I shake my head in defeat, when he fades away I start to sob silently.
Sebastian presses one hand on the small of my back, I tense up when I feel him try to stick it in. He sighs then removes his hand from my back and pulls my butt cheeks apart.
Pain is all I feel, horrible pain, it burns like fire, I groan in pain and try to crawl away from him but he holds me sucre as he thrust. I yell in agony as he thrusts faster then he grabs my hair and pulls it hard toward him. While he does this he punches and scratches the hell out of me.
After about 60 horrible excruciating minutes he stops,
"If you tell anyone about this, I will kill you, your family, and friends, you got that?" He threatens as he unties my arms and legs.
I nod my head, finally after he gets dressed he unties my gag. After one long look at me followed by a small smile
"I'll be back soon," he whispers and climbs out of the window into the night.
At first I just lye there not saying a word, feeling my whole body ache in horrible pain. Then I curl up in a ball and sob very loudly for a good long 25 minutes thinking of what just happened. He's coming back, I think hopelessly then I look at my cellphone and remember what Elliott said when he gave me his number.
"Text me any time. When ever you feel alone or scared just call me and I'll answer," he told me and he sounded like he was telling the truth.
I pick up my phone and check the text messages, there's one new text message and that is from Blaine:
Blaine at 8:30 PM: You okay?
I feel a tear slip down my face, no I'm not okay I think sadly.
I go through my contacts and see Blaine's number. I'd rather not tell him cause he would only make things worse and confront Sebastian. I scroll on further down until I see Elliott's number, there was pure sincerity in his voice that made me think he would keep this a secret. With a deep breath I press the green call button.
After 5 rings he picks up,
"Hello," He says, he's voice raspy due to sleep.
"Elliott," I say almost glad to here his voice,
"Kurt? What are you doing up this late of the night?" He asks.
I feel a tear slip down my face remembering the smile Sebastian gave me before he left then I just break down, crying loudly.
"I-I-I Jus-s-t need s-s-someone to talk to right-t-t now," I say in between sobs. no, no, no, NO! My stuttering can't coming back, it started when I was little bitty but I thought I grown out of it, I thought it was gone forever.
"Kurt! What's wrong?! What happened?!"
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