The Final Performance of The Cheerful Charlies
The two men sat in front of the mirror putting on their make up. The white powder filled the air and the stink of the unwashed bodies previous to them hung rank and heavy in the room. Their own costumes hadn't been washed in some time either and the next men in the room would probably think the same of them.
Carson looked in the mirror and put a little more powder under his eyes. The dark circles from the lack of sleep the previous night were apparent as the dim light accentuated them.
"Stop fussing Carson. No one is going to notice that you look tired. This is our big chance. We're playing The Lyric my good man!" Griggs slapped his partner on the back in anticipation. He had begged the operator of The Lyric to let them perform their show for months now and if it went well, perhaps there was some big producer in the audience that would help make them famous.
Griggs had pulled out all the stops for their show that night, much to the ignorance of his partner. He knew Carson would not approve of the extras he was bringing and he figured it would be easier to ask forgiveness than permission in this case. And when they were rich and famous, Carson would have no choice but to be appreciative of his actions.
Carson looked at the clock on the wall. Half an hour until show-time. He was sweating from the heat of the unventilated dressing room so he put a bit more powder on his forehead.
"C'mon mate. You're not getting any prettier. There's not enough make-up in the world for that." Griggs laughed and Carson shot him a dirty look.
"Shall we go see how Alice is getting along?" Carson stood up and put the powder puff back in its dish before his partner took another verbal jab at him.
"No. She'll meet us backstage. She has a special costume in store for us tonight. It would be bad luck to see her." Griggs seemed nervous and his excuse was irrelevant, but Carson gave him the benefit of the doubt.
The two men went together through the labyrinth of back stage, stepping around sets and costumes and avoiding the bustle of the stagehands trying to get the show ready. Griggs lit up a cigarette as they stood at the end of the hallway that would lead to stage left. Alice would enter from stage right so they wouldn't see her until the curtain was raised.
Carson went through a few scales prepping his bass voice for his performance. The deep rumbling tones sounded wonderful with the acoustics of the hallway. The exceptionally tall man had always been proud of his voice. People always topped to listen when he sang. His parents had been so disappointed in him that he hadn't followed his dream of becoming an opera singer. They told him regularly he was wasting his time doing a comedy bit with his old friend. The Cheerful Charlies had come a long way, but they had never found their mark that had thrust them into the stardom that Griggs especially, so desired.
The stage director came and spoke to them for a bit to discuss the cues, and Carson let Griggs handle the conversation. He was trying to catch a glimpse of Alice from across the stage but he couldn't see her.
Carson was going to finally let her know of his true feelings that night. He had decided that he must. He couldn't live one more day without knowing how she truly felt. Even if she didn't feel the same, at least it would be out there. But he wondered if she didn't. They had moments. Glimpses at each other across the stage as they performed. Long talks over dinner in whatever small village they had performed their show in that night.
He hoped she would admit she felt the same way, but he was more nervous for that conversation to happen later than he was for their show. He knew every line inside and out and it would be a routine as it was every other night that they performed. So he thought.
The producer left them standing there and went to get the show underway. Griggs looked exuberant. He looked at Carson just as they heard the orchestra warming up.
"I just wanted to let you know that I've made a few changes to the show tonight. Just go with it. Your lines are the same, there's just a bit of difference in the background. Follow my cues, and you'll do great."
"I beg your pardon? You have done what now?" Carson looked panicked as Griggs shot him a cheeky grin over his shoulder and headed onto stage to begin.
Griggs sat on the park bench in the middle of the stage and winked at Carson. Their big chance was about to begin.
The music started to play and curtain lifted. Griggs took a deep breath and began his opening song about being lonely in London. When he was half done his song, Alice made her entrance from the other side to join him in his melody. Their song together was sweet and funny and Carson made ready to enter the stage for his part.
The gag was that Alice's character fell for both men and the two of them comically vied for her affection by playing a number of pranks on one another trying to embarrass the other and win the affections of the lady.
Carson tucked his newspaper under his arm, adjusted his hat and strode onto the stage with big, funny steps. He joined the song and as he passed Griggs, he whacked him on the head with the newspaper. Griggs feigned horror and Carson took Alice by the arm and attempted to walk away with her.
Griggs came up behind him and pulled the chair out underneath Carson as he tried to sit down and he landed on his back and rolled into a somersault and landed back on his feet.
The crowd roared.
They finished their first song and the crowd applauded. They were doing very well. Alice ran off the other side for a quick costume change and their second bit started with the two of them chasing each other around the park bench while singing about what good friends they are and how they shouldn't let a woman come between them. The crowd laughed at their hilarious lyrics of true love. Carson felt great about how things were going. It was at the end of the second song that things started to go wrong for the tall Charlie.
When Alice came back onto the stage, she was accompanied by five other ladies who were wearing the skimpiest outfits that Carson had ever seen. His jaw-dropped gawking that made the crowd laugh so hard was not an act. He was in shock as to what was happening. The music changed and Alice flung off her cloak to reveal more bare skin than Carson had ever seen in his life.
He turned the brightest shade of red that no amount of makeup would have covered up and put the newspaper up to his face. The crowd laughed thinking his actions were part of the play, but they were not. He sat down on the bench on stage and wished he could shrink down to nothing, but the scantily clad women surrounded him and one of them was hitting him in the face with the tassells attached to her costume. Every time he opened his eyes, there was a new set of barely covered breasts in his face.
He wanted to die, but the crowd was laughing so hard they had tears in their eyes.
Griggs danced past him at one point and stuck his hat in Carson's crotch to make pretend that he had something to cover up. Carson made a mental note to bust Griggs in the face for this after the show. If it would ever end.
Carson tried to get up a number of times to escape his embarrassment, but the women always stopped him. Griggs and Alice merrily strolled past singing while one of the ladies was trying to take Carson's jacket off. He kept putting his arm in the sleeve with no arm, while she pulled the other off and this went on to the delight of the audience.
He hid under his newspaper while the girls, Alice and Griggs sang on. When the monkey riding a pony came onto the stage he had finally had enough and made a beeline for the exit. He didn't notice that the pony had made a mess and he slipped in it and landed flat on his back. The crowd roared again, thinking it was part of the show. He stood up, glared back at Griggs who was being surrounded by the nearly bare chested girls that were dancing around him with giant feathers and didn't even notice how upset Carson was.
As soon as he was offstage, he stomped back to the dressing room but he heard the continuing roar of the crowd. He never would have agreed to this had he known. And that was why Griggs hadn't told him about it.
He took his make-up off with some rendered lard. They couldn't afford the proper cold cream that was normally used by most performers and he grimaced as the smell of the rancid fat infiltrated his nostrils. He changed from his spoiled clothes into his shabby suit and wanted nothing more than to to flee into the night but he had not a single nickel to his name. He would have to wait until the show was over and he could have his cut of the money they had made.
He sat in the dressing room and watched the clock. He wondered how much longer it would go, but that depended on the additions that Griggs had made to their show.
About an hour later, Carson heard the laughing of his partner and the woman he adored coming from the hallway. He poked his head out the door when the laughing stopped and was horrified to see the two of them kissing. Alice was leaned up against the wall and Griggs was leaned up against her. Carson's heart dropped. He was done.
He grunted and the two of them stopped what they were doing and looked at him.
"Where did you go? We were a hit! The crowd loved us." Griggs approached Carson, not realizing how upset the other man really was.
Carson wound up and punched him straight in the jaw. Griggs dropped like a stone and Alice came running towards him to help him up. She was still in costume and Carson only glanced quickly at her bare flesh. Her modesty was long gone apparently.
"I am sorry Alice. I cannot be a part of this bawdiness. I wish the two of you the very best luck. Perhaps our paths will cross again someday but I am out of here to find another path in life." He looked her in the eye. Afraid to look at her anywhere else.
"You don't mean it Charles. Stop being an old fuddy duddy. That was the most fun I've ever had." Alice was torn between running after him as he strode away and helping Griggs up from the floor. She knew she was in no state to go running out in public so she let him go.
She wished she hadn't kissed Griggs, but she was caught up in the moment after the show and had let him. She wished it had been Carson who was kissing her, but he didn't seem interested in her despite her obvious attempts at trying to gain his attention.
"Don't worry about him. He'll be back. He's just upset I put him on the spot." Griggs watched as the door swung shut at the end of the hall and accepted Alice's help into the dressing room. "What else is he going to do with his life. He needs me. He's just being a schmaltzy old fool"
Griggs did notice that all of Carson's belongings were gone. He wasn't worried.
His partner would realize his mistake by morning and come crawling back. The Cheerful Charlies had many years ahead of them. So he thought.
Yes, I'm still giggling at the thought of Carson doing a somersault...