Meredith shuffled down the hallway towards the tunnels, her tired mind honing in on the gurneys now claimed as the spot for her and her fellow interns. While her day was improving with the possibility of surgery with Burke, still carrying a penis was a constant reminder of Allison's pain.
She spotted George by the vending machine and snagged the bag of chips from his grip, walking past him before he could find the time to do more than grimace.
Meredith flopped onto an available spot on a gurney, too tired to even glare at Alex's form beside her. She resorted to grumbling about him under her breath as she laid the cooler to rest beside her, before mustering up enough energy to speak. "So, the police say they can't send the crack crime scene guy down for hours. So, I have to spend the night with the penis."
Out of the corner of her eye she saw the look form on Alex's face and quickly lifted a hand to forestall him. "Alex, don't say it." She was not in the mood to deal with his lewd comments.
Alex's face screwed up tightly for a second before returning to an impassive slate. "Oh, it was too easy anyway," he let out in a deep exhalation.
George threw himself onto the space beside Izzie and in an outburst of frustration exclaimed, "Who here feels like that they have no idea what they're doing?"
He raised one hand into the air. Meredith followed, noting with amusement that Cristina and Izzie seemed to have the same idea. Alex didn't, but she didn't really care about him anyway.
"I mean are we supposed to be learning something?" George continued in an angry rant. "Because I don't feel like I'm learning anything."
"Except how not to sleep," Izzie added in a defeated tone.
"You know it's like there's this wall," Cristina began, offering her contribution to the communal venting of frustration. "The attendings and the residents are over there being surgeons. And we're over here being…"
'Oh, my turn,' Meredith thought, but was unable to come up with something more than the out loud expression of her own inner rambling. "…suturing, code running, lab delivering, penis minders."
"I hate being an intern," Alex exclaimed. Meredith glanced his way, thankful that at least he was feeling what they were feeling, no matter what she thought of him.
The five tired interns looked up to see Bailey standing in the open doorway, staring at them as if to ask what right they think they have to a break. They all stared back until her gesture snapped them to attention. With a tired heave, Meredith moved to standing, grabbed her cooler and scrambled out after her peers.
Spotting Dr. Burke in the hallway, Meredith gave chase, eager to see if her suspicions had been correct. She caught up with his long strides, and turned to him in question. "Well?"
"It's a birth defect; tetralogy of Fallot with pulmonary atresia," Burke clarified. "You were right. Book an O.R. for tomorrow."
Meredith just barely avoided releasing a relieved sigh. She had been right, and they were going to do something to fix the problem. "Thank you, Dr. Burke, for checking on this for me. I know it wasn't typical consult procedure."
Burke examined her briefly through narrowed eyes before giving her a curt nod. He walked off at his usual brisk pace to speak to the parents.
Meredith took a deep breath and allowed herself a slight grin. It was something, on this awful day, to have made the life of someone better. "I was right," she whispered, equally surprised and happy.
Meredith slowly eased back and forth in the wooden rocking chair, her eyes focused on her very tiny patient. A small smile played across her features as she finally had something more positive to look at than the red and white cooler which was sitting on a nearby counter. Her glance took in the little boy being examined by the PEDS intern as he squirmed under his blue blanket.
The intern looked towards Meredith, and spoke in an apologetic tone, "his heart surgery is scheduled for the morning." She paused, "I really did think I was right, you know?"
"I know," Meredith tried to gather her thoughts to be reassuring. "We almost never are. We're interns; we're not supposed to be right. And when we are it's completely shocking."
The PEDS intern nodded slowly. "Are you…?" Her speech was stilted and hesitant, "I mean being an intern do you feel…"
Meredith knew what she needed, and was happy to provide it. "Terrified," she finished for her. "100% of the time."
The intern gave her a relieved smile. "Good. It's not just me."
With an exhausted chuckle, Meredith simply answered, "no." She watched the intern leave and continued to smile as she enjoyed the simple pleasure of rocking in a comfortable seat.
Walking along the hallway at a slow shuffle, Meredith's tired eyes took in Mark's form staring vacantly at a computer screen. Every so often his eyes would lift to Allison's still form in through the clear glass walls opposite him.
"Well," Meredith muttered, "at least I look better than him."
Mark's scrubs and lab coat looked rumpled, matching his unkempt hair and the bags under his blue eyes. Meredith eased her way towards him, placing the cooler beside the charts on the desk. "How is she?"
Mark answered, "no change," without turning to her.
Feeling a slight tug of concern she asked, "have you been here all night?"
Mark hummed some semblance of a positive answer, his gaze still focused on the computer monitor.
Meredith rested her hip against the desk. "I've been up in PEDS. There's this baby up in nursery. He's brand new; no one's neglected him or damaged him yet. How do we get from there to here? She's wearing my shoes and someone's beat the crap out of her. And she's got nobody." She exhaled a heavy sigh, "I understand that."
"Yeah," Mark breathed out, "me too." Then his eyes lifted to her and narrowed in confusion. "Wait, what are you talking about? What about your mother? She'd be here ordering all the surgeons around." He gets up to wash his hands and lets out a scoffing laugh. "She'd fly these cowboys in from Prague to do these amazing medical procedures."
Trying to ignore the sharp twisting in her gut, Meredith responded with a grimace, "that's true. I do have my mother." Her brain zoomed in on his earlier comment as her eyebrows knotted together. "You have no one?"
A now familiar dark look crossed Mark's face; he turned away. "I don't know anymore." Meredith watched with invasive curiosity as his face lifted toward the ceiling and his eyes blinked rapidly.
Her close inspection was interrupted by the loud beeps which erupted from Allison's room. Meredith and Mark snapped to attention and ran into the sterile room. Meredith slammed her palm into the code button as Mark pulled out a pen light to examine Allison's pupils.
"Her ICP is doubled," he announced with a curse. "Page Drake, and get an O.R. prepped for a craniotomy." Nurses started rushing into the room as Mark barked orders for IVs and blood gas tests.
Meredith leaned her head back against the wall, thankful for its solid presence supporting her body weight. She held the cooler in her arms, and tipped her head slightly to the side, resting her left temple against the chilly metal edge of the O.R. board.
Mark paced in front of her. Every few minutes his hands would lift to run through his hair, or to drag along his face. He snapped to attention as Dr. Drake exited the O.R. hallway.
Dr. Drake stood in front of them, with a sad smile in response to their obvious concern for Allison. "I had to leave her skull flap off until the pressure in her brain goes down," he offered in lieu of comforting reassurance.
Meredith gave a pained grimace. "She's not going to make it, is she?" Meredith and Dr. Drake both tactfully ignored Mark's flinch.
"She's going to be fine," Dr. Drake affirmed.
Meredith had heard enough doctor-speak in her lifetime to be able to interpret that statement. She continued for him, "if she ever wakes up."
He gave a slight nod, "if she ever wakes up."
Both Dr. Drake and Meredith jumped at the growl that escaped Mark before he stalked away.
Meredith stood, hands clasped in front of her, thankfully no longer charged with carrying a severed penis in a cooler. She had been relieved to hand it off to the police; she felt much cleaner without carrying the evidence of a vicious attack.
"He just had to mention changing my diapers," she mumbled, ignoring the confused glance from the intern beside her. "Way to make me feel like a child."
Dr. Burke's voice drew her attention back to the O.R. table in front of her, and it's very small occupant. "We'll be using a median approach for a transventricular repair with a right ventriculostomy." He turned his focus from the gathered room of students to one of the scrub nurses. "Let's open him up. 15 blade, please."
Meredith's eyes honed in on the starting surgery. She admired Burke's speed and efficiency. His O.R. ran like a well-oiled machine, the nurses knowing just what to pass him and when.
"Grey!"
Meredith's focused snapped to Burke. "Yes, sir?"
Without lifting his eyes from the tiny sternum he ordered, "go scrub in. When we're finished cracking the baby's chest, I'll let you hold the clamp."
Meredith couldn't believe her luck. "Seriously?" she questioned, excitedly.
Burke shot an appraising glance her way. "Don't make me change my mind."
There was no further hesitation. "I'm going."
Meredith was back staring through the nursery window at the small adorable figures squirming in their cots. She was feeling much happier now that she was relieved of the penis, and had scrubbed in on a surgery. The babies were pretty cute too.
Maybe that explained the temporary insanity that resulted in what came out of her mouth. "Okay, fine. George and Izzie, you can move into the house."
George and Izzie began to cheer and dance about, thanking her profusely. Meredith continued to stare at the tiny blanketed infants.
In a sort of belated realization of what she had done, she turned to Cristina.
I can't believe I caved."
With her usual sardonic look, Cristina nodded at the nursery window. "I blame the babies. They make you toxic." She wandered off.
Meredith walked up to the elevator, finally ready to leave for the day. She looked up to see Mark, clad in his black leather jacket, clutching a cardboard coffee cup as he leaned tiredly against the wall.
"Day is over," he began, acknowledging her presence. "She woke up."
"I know," Meredith smiled. "And we got the guy."
The two doctors both looked lighter and happier. "So, this talk we're going to have, about the ferryboats?" Meredith asked with a raised brow.
Mark studied her face briefly before smirking. "I'm so taking the stairs this time."
He walked off to the stairwell, as the elevator doors dinged open. Meredith shook her head, and entered the elevator with a grin.