Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor moon or Ranma.

A twisted tale of Ranma

Chapter 8

Written by Gabriel R. Lopez

Darien Chiba had been orphaned at a young age when his parents, the Kuno's, died in a pineapple related automobile accident. Witnesses who saw the accident claimed it was just one of those things. Having been adopted by Setsuna M. Chiba and her husband Mamoru, the two renamed the young infant Darien. Darien was a bright boy, and had managed to attend college at the young age of seventeen. Darien was also a master Kendoist and had a reputation as the blue thunder of Jubban High. Darien was also an expert ninja, having trained under the best Ninjitsu masters in Japan, more notably among them Genma Saotome, and Soun Tendo. Darien and Genma had a falling out after the incident at Jusenkeyo. This was because Darian had been knocked into spring of drowned moon cat, and now darien spent more than half the day as a small grey talking ball of cute… the only things he liked about the curse was his shape shifting ability, if he concentrated really hard he could turn himself into a balloon, a pencil, or just about anything that weiged less than 3lbs.

Darien also had unusual obsession with Sailor Moon and Akane Tendo… he would have them both. For now he settled for the more obtainable Akane. Akane didn't really love him. She just had an unhealthy obsession with his cursed form to the point where she insisted on calling him Luna-P, and buying things like catnip and yarn for him to play with. Granted he had a few more problems with Akane when that little blonde girl kept showing up. Akane had accused him of cheating on her and threatened to get Luna-p fixed. And, then the creepy blonde girl with pigtails started breaking into his apartment and stealing underpants, he caught her while he was in his cursed form, and she quickly apologized telling the kitty it was part of her martial arts training. The stalker girl then stole his welcome mat, and kidnapped Luna-P, by shoving him in her black sack, Darien was not amused. The straw that broke the camels back was the old man the girl was training under latching onto Akane in her attempt to rescue Luna-p from the blonde with pigtails. As the lecher grabbed onto Akane and started touching her in ways that made his nose bleed as he managed to claw his way out of the sack.

This was an injustice he would not stand for! So at night, in the presence of evil lechers, Darien became the Lunar Knight…which basically meant Darien dressed up as Aladdin and used a bed sheet as a makeshift cape. The latest threat to the innocence of women was far worse than the perverted master of anything goes and required him to become the Lunar Knight during the day… his name was Tuxedo Kamen, and he would strike wherever there was a damsel in distress. How dare he be familiar with his Sailor moon and then go on to casually flip his cool hair, throw roses, and flirt with every women he rescued. Dammit, why did Tuxedo Kamen have to be so much cooler than him. The two rivals would often fight side by side to defeat the latest Bad guy/Monster but when the papers started referring to the Lunar Knight as 'Tuxedo Kamen's goofy sidekick,' Darien was pissed. Granted he didn't have Magical powers, and he actually had to fight the monsters in hand to hand combat rather than throw roses at them, but he was not anyone's sidekick. He'd have cool powers too if he had magical underpants of justice. Tuxedo Kamen also had a magical thermos of coffee on him that he sipped on casually while Darien did all the hard work. 'It just wasn't fair!' Darien thought as he was once again knocked on his ass by the tentacle monster.

"I fight on!" Darien cried as he used the 'Cashew Armatige' attack in combination with his 'watermelon bokken' attack. "Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! (insert Lightning bolt), Strike! Strike! Slice" the tenticles were all chopped off and the women were free of the monster's perverted touch, and just as he was about to land the final blow a single rose struck the monster and turned it into ashes. Kamen then flipped his hair and the ladies blushed as he winked at them from the rooftop of a seven-eleven. Kamen then blew a kiss and the women swooned as it started raining and the Lunar Knight seemed to disappear as well.

"THAT BASTARD!" Darien cried as his kitten sized body struggled to free itself from the Aladdin costume. Once free Luna-P rushed to the seven-eleven, poofed into a balloon, then poofed back into a cat once he was on the roof and started chasing after Tuxedo Kamen as fast as his kitty legs would carry him.

"HALT VILLAIN!" Tuxedo Kamen turned around to see the Lunar Knight's girly magical pet.

"What do you want now Darien?" Tuxedo Kamen asked the stray. The feline was just so darn cute with his little threats and his banter it was almost laughable.

"You dare treat me like a child! I am the undefeated champion of justice and defender of women." Darien called out in defiance, but it came out more like a child whining for food.

"okay?" Tuxedo Kamen was trying to figure out where this was going.

"A defender of justice must possess a noble soul , and be a great warrior!" Darien shouted his kitty face drawn in an expression of anger. "You sir, are a stain on the underpants of justice! I order you to take them off this instant!"

Tuxedo Kamen groaned, again "Tell your master that if he wants my underpants he'll have to take them from me."

"the Lunar Knight does not want your underpants. I dare you to mock me once more! Perverted fiend, prepare to meet justice!" Darien cried as he charged the Tuxedo Kamen only to be swatted away by his cane . If you think the idea of a 3lbs talking animal, versus a 165lbs man would be a one sided battle you would be correct. Darien attacked Tuxedo Kamen a total of 30seconds before finally being punted into lower earth orbit and crashing through a bathroom window. Darien's Feline instincts took over and he proceeded adjust his body so that he would land on his feet. What he hadn't anticipated was the slide on the warm puddle of…"ew!" as he gracelessly crash landed on the bathroom floor with a flip.

It was then the crazy stalker girl, the same one who had stolen his underpants, grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and shoved him in he face of a little pink haired girl. "It would appear fate has also provided me with the perfect weapon to destroy you Ranma! Bwa ha ha ha!"

Ranma stared at the feline in indifference. Clearly Ryoga had lost his mind, a Pomeranian may have defeated him sure, but cats were her friends. And then other programs that were rewired into her brain started taking over "SQUEEEL KWAII!" Ranma-chan grabbed the little fur ball and started hug him, and kiss him, and pet him cause he was just so adorable yes he was. Darien struggled a little bit but eventually gave into ranma's petting and scratching , it was like she knew just where to scratch him to put him in a state of bliss

Ryoga, also known as Charlotte, just stood there and gawked as Usagi walked into the bathroom slipped on a puddle of warm something and fell into Charlotte and in the process pinned her to the ground. Mara looked at the twins "Two Usagi's !"